In Blood and Worth Loving 3 Kiss Cover (5 page)

Desiree frowned.
“
Then why do you stay with them? I know you have a condo of your own. Why do you stay at the family mansion at all? Why don
’
t you just move away and start a new life without them? They
’
re not holding you prisoner…are they?
”

“
No. Of course not, but they raised me and are my only family.
”

The thought of three horny male vampires successfully raising a human female from infancy to adulthood fascinated her.
“
How did they come to raise you? Do you know anything about your real family?
”

She arched a brow.
“
Someone left me outside the mansion gates when I was an infant.
”

“
Did they ever make an effort to find out who you were?
”

“
No.
”

“
Did you?
”

She shook her head.

“
Didn
’
t you ever want to know your real family, Rayna?
”

“
My uncles are my real family. They
’
re the ones who ensured I was safe, loved, and cherished. I had a strange but loving and fascinating childhood. No one could have loved me more than they do as a group and individually.

“
I
’
ll admit that sometimes I wonder about my birth family, but how can I just walk away to go search for them while risking the relationship I treasure with my uncles?
”
She sighed.
“
They love and cherish me. They always have. I love them and I like being with them.

“
For now that
’
s more than enough. Someday I might attempt to find my biological family. Maybe. Right now I just wish they would understand I want and need the same intimacy they do.
”

“
What
’
s the answer?
”

Rayna tilted her head.
“
Part of it is to have them all happily settled with women they adore. Two down, one to go. Once Uncle Conner has accepted his fate and settled happily down, I
’
m going to put my foot down and insist they bu
t
t
out of my personal life
.
I
’
ll expect their bloods to back me up.
”

Desiree moistened her lips.
“
Do you have any idea which fem he
’
ll eventually settle down with?
”
The thought of Conner in love with another female hurt like hell.

Rayna stared at her.
“
Which fem? Wake up and smell the coffee, Desi. If he settles down with any fem, it
’
ll be news to me. And trust
me;
I know them better than almost anyone else. That
’
s how I knew Brandi and Cayenne were Uncles Adrian and Jayvyn
’
s blood.

“
No fem is going to make Uncle Conner happy.
”

“
Then who will?
”

“
You
. That is
if you
’
re prepared to be very unhappy and take a lot of shit from him until he realizes you
’
re his blood.
”

Desiree sucked in a breath.
“
Are you sure?
”

“
I
’
m as sure about you as I was about Brandi and Cayenne. Both have probably already told you landing my uncles wasn
’
t easy but worth it in the long run.
”
She paused.
“
You do love him. Don
’
t you?
”

“
Love him?
”
She swallowed.
“
Until he started frightening off all my romantic prospects and implying I was a slut because I want an intimate relationship with a man, I liked him and loved being with him.
”

“
And now you don
’
t?
”

“
I can
’
t say I like him much anymore. He
’
s moody and dark, but I still have a massive lust for him. I
’
m not sure that translates into actually loving him. In the beginning I was fairly sure I was in love with him, but now I
’
m not sure of anything…
”
except that her need to have him fuck her ached like a painful and debilitating disease.

Rayna narrowed her gaze.
“
Then I suggest you decide one way or the other before you get in any deeper.
”

She didn
’
t like the almost implicit threat she heard in Rayna
’
s voice
“
Meaning what?
”

“
Meaning, he
’
s not the full-blood to fuck around with, Desi. I know everyone generally thinks of him as the more polished and urban
e
of my uncles and they might have a point. But he
’
s also the most dangerous of the three. He controls his temper better than the other two but when he loses it…if you
’
re only interested in a fling and not a lifetime commitment with all that entails, you should set your sights on some other full-blood or latent who might be willing to play games with you.
”

Desiree felt her cheeks burn with heat.
“
That
’
s just what I plan to do, Rayna. And for the record, I
’
m not now nor have I ever been playing games with him.
”

“
Good because he sure as hell won
’
t be playing them with you. When you see him again, you
’
d better know what you
’
re doing.
”

Despite his recent reminders that he was a vampire, she wasn
’
t afraid of him.
“
If you
’
re trying to convince me I should be afraid of him, you
’
re wasting your time. I
’
m not afraid of him.
”

“
You really should be.
”

“
Are you implying I need to fear for my safety with him?
”

“
I
’
m saying any human woman in a relationship with a full-blood would be a fool not to have a certain level of fear of him. They can be very dangerous if you piss them off. And when they
’
re falling into blood they
’
re so easily offended that they
’
re almost always pissed off and dangerous.
”

No one was going to convince her she should be afraid of Conner. She shook her head.
“
I can
’
t imagine being afraid of him.
”

Rayna reached across the table to clutch her hand.
“
I
’
m not trying to frighten you, but I am warning you that he
’
s not himself and he can be dangerous, if you
’
re not very careful.
”

“
Rayna
–
”

“
No, Desi. Don
’
t brush me off. Believe me when I tell you that he is capable of hurting you. If that happened, he
’
d be sorry as hell when he came back to his senses, but that wouldn
’
t do you much good. I
’
m not saying that he will actually hurt you. I just need you to be aware of the possibility that, in his present state, he
’
s capable of it. So please act accordingly. Don
’
t anger him if you can avoid it. At least until he
’
s himself again.
”
She smiled.
“
Then you can piss him off without any real consequences as Brandi and Cayenne regularly do with Uncles Adrian and Jay.
”

Hearing the earnestness in Rayna
’
s voice gave her pause. Maybe it was just as well it was over between her and Conner.
“
Thanks for the advice, but I won
’
t be needing it.
”

“
Oh yes you will. Don
’
t make the mistake of thinking it
’
s over between you.
”

“
It is. It
’
s been six weeks and
–
”

“
Desi, haven
’
t you been listening to a word I said? You
’
re his blood. It
’
s not over and you need to exercise care when you see him again because he
’
ll be pissed from missing you and he
’
ll be dangerous to any man you see and maybe to you as well.
”

“
Then I
’
ll have to depend on Adrian and Jay to keep him off my back because I
’
ve already decided it
’
s time I pursue a relationship with someone with vamp blood because who else would be prepared to stand up to him?

“
Now will you please stop sounding as angry as you say he is and stop trying to scare me into doing what you wa
n
t me to?
”

Rayna inhaled slowly.
“
Forgive me if I sounded a little annoyed.
”

“
A little?
”

“
He
’
s my uncle and I love him dearly and I need you to understand what you
’
re going to face when you see him again.
”
She shrugged.
“
But given his behavior, your unwillingness to admit the obvious is understandable.
”

“
And what
’
s obvious to you?
”

“
That you
’
re as deeply in love with him as a woman can be with a man. I know loving him isn
’
t easy, given that you know he
’
s spending time with other women
–
”

“
Spending time with other women?
”
She laughed.
“
You make his behavior sound almost Sunday school like. He
’
s fucking them
knowing full well how I feel about him
…
how I
’
ve felt since the night we met.
”

“
I know it hurts, Desi, but you need to accept the fact that his behavior is part of who he is. Once he comes to terms with his feelings for you, things will…
”

“
What? Get better?
”

“
Eventually? Yes. In the short term, they
’
ll probably just get interesting. Please try to understand and forgive him.
”

Forgive him when he didn
’
t seem to care he was breaking her heart? Forgetting him made far more sense than trying to come up with reasons why she should forgive him.

“
And don
’
t go out with anyone else or someone
’
s going to end up hurt or dead and it will not be Uncle Conner.
”

Desiree inhaled slowly.
“
You
’
ve given me a lot to think about, but I have to get back to work,
”
she said.

“
I know not much was accomplished but please feel free to come ride Hope whenever you like and for the love of God, please don
’
t see another man until you give Uncle Conner another chance to come to terms with how he feels.
”

How could she when she had no idea when she
’
d see Conner again or how he
’
d respond when they did eventually meet?
“
It
’
s nice to know someone cares.
”
But she was not going to rule out any of her options.

“
We all do, Desi
, including
Uncle Conner.
”

He had a damned funny way of showing it, she thought as she walked back to her office.