Imprint (16 page)

“I’
m glad. Ali was really worried when you were in the hospital, you know. She visited you almost
every day. I was
worried
too.” She sta
red at her shoes awkwardly. Sean had
forgotten these little details about her, that she always averted her eyes when she was nervous.

“Hey, it’s fine.” Drew attempted to sound upbeat
. “Thank you, for worrying about me.”

Her eyes widened slightly. “Erm, sorry
?”

“I’m trying to be nice here, don’t act so surprised.”

She looked down again, embarrassed.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to. You just…seem different.”

“Yeah, well, it’s an after effect of nearly dying I guess.”

She grinned timidly.
“Real funny
.”

“
I’m sure the last
few
weeks must have been
dull witho
ut me being the comic relief.”

“The teachers definitely got on just fine without you.”

“Hurtful,” he pouted. “
Anyway, what have I missed while I’ve been off?”

She looked hesitant suddenly, biting her lip discreetly. “Nothing much. Just the usual, you know.”

Drew was suddenly serious, all amusement gone from his face. He sent her an ‘I-don’t-believe-you’ look. “I know something happened, Liz.
Why didn’t you sit with us at lunch today?”

“I…
”

“
There’s something wrong with Ali, isn’t there?”

Liz sighed, and ran a hand through her hair tiredly. “I’m sorry, Sean. I w
ould tell you
, but
I don’t think you’ll like it.”

“I don’t care
, just tell me.”

She thought for a minute, a frown crinkling her face. “Ali’s changed,
” she admitted finally
. “It began
about two weeks ago. She said she was
going
on a diet, and then
she said she wanted to make friends with Kim and those girls. She sat with them at lunch a few times. And then she started wearing girly clothes, makeup, she did her hair and…she’s different now. I tried to talk to her about it, but she wouldn’t listen. She cares so much about
her
appearance and
being popular.
” Liz shook her head sadly. “It’s like I don’t even know her anymore.”

“Maybe it’s just a phase,” Drew suggested.

“Maybe, but I miss how she used to be. I miss being friends with both of you. I was
kind of
hoping she might listen to you and realise that.”

“Me?” h
e snorted. “What makes you think I can get through to her?”

Liz just smiled again. “Trust me, if there’s anyone in the world
who can get through to her
,
it’s you.”

When they arrived home, Drew made a beeline for his (their?) room. Sean was glad to avoid any further
conversation
with Hayden, so followed silently without the glare that he would usually wear. Today was different. He could feel something in the air, a sense of urgency, and wondered briefly if having heightened senses was part of the Imprint package.

“What’s wrong?” Sean
asked once the door was shut and locked.
Locked. He could
tell
the imminent conversation wouldn’t be pleasant.

“You shouldn’t have to ask.” Drew had fallen back onto the bed with an exhausted sigh, wincing. His injuries were s
till not completely healed yet, and he got tired quicker than usual.

“I know, Ali. I heard what Liz said as well but it’s no big deal. She’ll get over it, whatever it is.”
O
f course she would, she was
Al
,
she was just fine.
She was always fine.

Suddenly Drew shot up again to g
lare at him directly
, and there was
anger in his eyes that caught
Sean off guard.
“
No big deal?
” he
snapped
, looking quite disgusted. “Is this what you say about all of your friends? You know, I thought at one point that under all of those scowls you did care about the people close to you.”

“I do care-
”
Sean tried to protest, but was quickly cut
off.

“Then you’re doing a pretty good job of hiding it. Hell, she’s
your
friend and I seem to care more than you do.”

“There’s nothing to worry about,” Sean looked away. “You said yourself, it’s just a phase.”

“A phase of not eating? Are you really that stupid or do I have to tell you the other name for it?” Drew paused for a moment, as if waiting for an answe
r, before continuing anyway.
“Anorexia, Sean. An eating disorder.”

“She skipped a few meals,
that doesn’t make her anorexic.
”

Drew laughed hollowly. “I’ve seen it before,
” he said.
“
It
starts off with a few meals and gradually becomes
all
meals. Didn’t
you notice how much weight she’s
lost? We’ve only been gone about a
month;
you can’t lose that much on any normal diet.”

“You’re over thinking things,” Sean denied, but it sounded weak. “What do you know about that sort of stuff, anyway? All girls get self-conscious and diet at some point, that’s what they do.”

There was a long pause and Drew looked away, his gaze suddenly very dull and reminiscent as he stared off towards the dusty racks of withered CD cases and the frayed posters decorating the wall. “I used to have a cousin with an eating disorder once,” he admitted quietly. “I was quite close to her, and she was always so cheerful. But then when she was about twenty she stopped eating and lost so much weight in such a short period of time that she almost died.
Just trust me,
this is how it always starts.”

Sean didn’t know what to say after that. Eventually he m
anaged to stutter out: “What happened to her
?” and it sounded so pathetic to his own ears that he had to fight back a cringe.

“She went to a special clinic, and she recovered eventually. It took a while though, and it
was hard on her and her family. She’s never been quite the same since, though. I could see the shadows in her eyes, the last time I saw her. She wasn’t as bright and sunny as she used to be. I’m not sure if she ever will be.”

“I’m sorry, about your cousin
I mean. I didn’t know.”
Why was
he sorry for someone he hated?

Drew just sighed sadly.
“Saying stuff like that doesn’t fix anything.
Don’t say sorry, do something to prevent it happening to Ali.”

“I will.
”

“Good. Then
go use some initiative and your ability to walk through walls to spy on her.”

Sean raised an eyebrow. “You’re not serious, are you?”

“I’m sure it’ll be
more fun than watching me all night
, which honestly creeps me out a bit.
And maybe you’ll learn something while you’re over there to help with the situation.”

Sean considered for a moment, but then let out a defeated sigh. “Fine, I’ll do it.” Because the truth was, if he had to watch someone sleep he’d rather it be Ali than Drew.

When Sean floated through the front door of Ali’s house and into the dining room to see her parents having dinner and her vacated seat, he was honestly surprised
. Although plausible he’d never tru
ly believed Drew’s theory
, but now he was starting to. After pausing a second longer, he left to scale the stairs to the second floor and search out her room. He had only been in there once or twice before, because norma
lly she would come to his house instead.

He heard the sound of running water in the bathroom, and realised that it must be her. He missed showers. He missed her as well, now that he thought about it. He missed a lot of things.
‘
You’re a ghost, you can wa
lk through walls
’
, his mind
reminded him.
‘
You could always take a peek. Just one, it wouldn’t hurt
’
.
He felt ashamed for even thinking those thoughts, what was wrong with him? He wasn’t a pervert
. He wasn’t. He probably didn’t even have hormones anymore, they were a strictly physical thing, so what was it? Curiosity? He shook his head rather forcefully and decided to wait in her bedroom instead. She was only his friend, his
female
friend, but he had morals. He wouldn’t demean and violate her privacy like that, even if she had no idea.

Her bedroom hadn’t
changed much. It was stil
l as neat and orderly as ever, the bookshelves choked with books. His eyes softened
as they trailed over a collection of dusty
photographs
on the bedside table; one of them was of him and Ali together, both grinning cheekily into the camera. He could remember
well the day it was taken. She
had coerced him into going fishing with her, which had ended in a ‘who can catch the most tadpoles’ competition and,
ultimately, an all out water fight
. It was a fond memory.
He’d found her annoying at one time, but not anymore. He cared, just d
idn’t show it as openly as she did.

The door creaked open
ten minutes later and Ali, clad in pyjamas,
walked in with an exhausted sigh
, causing Sean to instinctively jump out o
f the way
. She opened the window and then collapsed onto her bed, burying her head in the pillow. Sean decided that he liked her new scarlet curls, they strangely suited her. He waited patiently until she finally dragged herself back
up again and over to her dressing table
. She sat in front of the large mirror for a long time, apparently just staring vacantly at her reflection, dull eyes ringed with shadows. Then suddenly she stood up again and turned sideways to look at herself, hands planted on her hips, a dissatisfied frown on her face. ‘Not good enough’ it seemed to say.
It was probably what she was thinking as well.
Sean couldn’t understand what she saw that made her frown li
ke that though, and wished he could tell her the opposite. He wished he could make her smile again.

She turned away from the mirror
after that
and
, eyes darting to the picture on the table,
lay down on the floor. At first Sean was
confused;
wouldn’t a bed be more comfortable?
But then when
she started doing sit ups, he
understood. And with this understanding came a pang of sadness. She looked so tired, so lifeless, and yet she was still exercising. The girl he watched now and the one who had bounded up to introduce herself to him on
his first day suddenly seemed very
different. He tried to think back, to remember Ali like she was before. She had never cared about silly things like appearance, she had cared about books and knowledge. She was cheerful and outgoing and kind and infinitely irritating and…she had come to visit him in the hospital everyday when he was unconscious. But now, he couldn’t help but wonder if underneath all of that she had been l
ike this all along. Maybe he had
just
been
too self-absorbed to see it.

He watched her for a while, but when her breaths started to come in painful heaves he looked away, guilty.
Her body rose and fell, like the waves he’d been watching only a few days before, but unlike them she wasn’
t natural or calm. She reminded him more of a storm: unpredictable, churning, confusing, dark. He wasn’t sure where that last adjective fit
ted
in, but there was something about this whole situation that was undeniably dark. Maybe the darkness was contagious.

He wanted to do something to help her, show her that this wasn’t necessary, but how could he when she couldn’t see or hear him? T
earing his gaze away he glided back over to the dressing table
,
noticing that there was foundation powder spilt all over it.
M
aking sure that she
was preoccupied, he shakily reached out and concentrated on one point of his body. It took a lot of effort, but he was grateful to see a line being cut through the powder
as he traced his finger through it
.
It reminded him of something he’d seen on TV once: Indians, drawing pictures of Ghandi into the sand with their fingers.