Imprint (33 page)

Goodbye, Sean,
but only for now. I know
we
will
meet again someday.

Always,

Drew

He felt like laughing. Maybe he was laughing and it was just being drowned out by the sound of the rain, he couldn’t tell. The situation was utterly stupid, ridiculous, laughable, and yet at
the same time so painful. He couldn’t believe that he hadn’t guessed earlier
that Brian – n
o, Jacob was his real name – was actually his
father. T
here had been
so many
clues. The way Brian
/Jacob
had always looked at him with something deeper than just friendly concern in his eyes, the déjà vu feeling, the familiarity, the exact shade of his blue eyes that matched his own.

He hadn’t just told Sean the story of his life that night out of boredom; he had been explaining to him why he had left them. Justifying what he had done, asking for
forgiveness. It all fit. How he
felt secure around him. Brian’s strange respect and admiration for Drew. Hayden reminiscing about family trips to the beach, how their father had loved the sea. Now Sean understood why. He wondered if his father had meant for him to figure it out himself – he had certainly dropped enough hints that night they had talked. He felt like an idiot for not realising, when the truth had been right in front of his eyes.

“That’s just like you, idiot,”
he muttered
darkly to the sky, and he wasn’t sure if he was talking to Drew or his father or maybe both.
“You tell me something important, and then you just up and lea
ve.
” He shook his head, damp hair plastered to his face, and sighed.
Thinking about Brian
/Jacob
confused him and made him angry as well.
What a shit of a father,
thinking that he was being noble by leaving them to go and die alone. And then
stay
ing
behind all t
hose years waiting to talk to him
,
and when he finally had the chance not even having the courage to tell him who he was
.
What a
n idiotic, noble
coward.
‘Maybe I’m being too hard on the man’ Sean wondered guiltily.
After all he’d only wanted to make things easier for them, even if Sean disagreed with his choice.
Or m
aybe he was just going mad, talking to people who were long gone in an empty graveyard.

Everything still seemed
rather surreal, but he felt li
ke he should mourn the man
. Maybe not as his father
,
because he still hadn’t really accepted this new revelation, but at least as a friend. So he allowed his legs to crumple beneath him, knelt in the sodden grass, and let the rain cry for him.

Epilogue

Five
months later

“I’m free,” Sean declared w
ith a bright grin as he ambled
out of the
large building to meet Ali on the steps. She was dressed in a light blouse and shorts,
the red fading out of her hair.
This
coming
summer would be even hotter than the last.

“That’s great, Sean. How did your last session go?”

“Doc gave me some soppy speech about how I’ve ‘improved so much’ blah blah blah,” Sean chuckled, rubbing his head sheepishly. “He looked so proud, I didn’t have the heart to tell him that he really didn
’t help me at all.”
Sean had found therapy hell. It had been hard to make up reasons for his ‘attempted suicide’ while keeping the real reasons secret. He also didn’t appreciate anyone who was paid to try and get inside his head.

“Well, it’s not like you’
ll ever have to see him aga
in so don’t complain,” Ali said
, grabbing his hand and beginning to lead him away from the town council building where the therapy sessions took place. “You’re really going to have to work hard to catch up in school, you know. Our exams are coming up soon.”

Sean rolled his ey
es. “You’re so depressing.
I’ve just finished five
months of torture and you’re talking about exams already.”

“You’re the one who had therapy for
being
depressed in the first place.”

“You know that’s not true,” he countered, then continued hesitantly: “but you will start tutoring me again, won’t you?”

“Yes,” she sighed in exasperation. “You know you’d fail
at life
without me.”

“True, which is why I agreed to buy you lunch today
. Are you up for pizza?”

She hesitated, as if she wanted to say no, but then relented with a smile. “
Okay, lunch is your choice as long as you let me drive us there.”

“I still can’t believe you got your driver’s license before me,” Sean frowned, shaking his head. “It’s
kind of
embarrassing getting driven aroun
d everywhere by a girl
.”

“
Would you rather walk?”

“No,” he admitted sullenly. “Come on, where’d you park the car? I’m starving.”

“Just over there.” She began to walk towards the pedestrian crossing, but Sean paused for a few moments in front of the building with a
n
odd
look on his face. She doubled back and, noticing his expression, grasped his hand. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Nothing,” he sighed
, and there was a weary smile on his face. “It just feels so strange, how
much things can change in five
months. It’s almost like he never existed at all.”

“If he didn’t, you wouldn’t be here,” Ali said. “I’m sure he would have been happy for you, if he was here right now.”

“I know, I just don’t want to forget about him this time
.”

“You won’t. And if you do, I’ll remind you.”

“You think about him sometimes too though
, don’t you?” Sean asked her. “
I still hate that I’m the reason he suffered for all those years, that he’s gone now. Just because he thought I was worth saving.”

“
You
are
worth saving. And h
ow do you know he’s really gone?” Ali shrugged. “When people die, everyone else thinks they’re gone foreve
r. But the truth is that their
spirits are still there, just invisible. Maybe it’s the same this time. Maybe he’s still around in another form, and we just can’t see it.
”

H
e mulled over her words thoughtfully
.
“It’s a nice thought, that he’s still out there somewhere.”

“There’s no point in dwelling on it though,” Ali added softly, and squeezed his hand a little tighter in some silent gesture of comfort. “What happened is in the past now, and we still
have the
future to think about
.”

“I know,” he said. “It’s time to move on.”

I
t was time to move on. But moving on didn’t necessarily mean to forget, just to accept what had happened and carry those memories with him until one day, when they didn’t hurt as much he would be able to look back on them and be glad he had them. But for the moment, he’d do his best at really living this time. He’d store away the guilt somewhere and use it as motivation ins
tead.

But even as he
walked away from the building, he thought he saw a flash of something. It was on
ly for a
n instant
and it made him wonder if it was just his imagination after all
: a young Alsatian puppy
hidden in the shadows of a deserted alleyway with those same, burgundy eyes.

About the Author:

Annmarie McQueen is an English student living in the UK. She can generally be found reading, sleeping or in Starbucks. Her other interests include photography and she has a mild obsession with her ukulele. As she’s half Chinese, she likes to eat rice at least daily or will get withdrawal symptoms.
She loves the YA genre, and the Harry Potter series will always have a special place in her heart. Like any author she appreciates feedback from her readers!

Other novels by Annmarie McQueen:

Cold Water 
(YA contemporary romance)

Hope Weller has a grudge against the world. Tired of living with her controlling older sisters, she runs away from home only to faint and wake up in the house of a strange boy called Ash with
mesmerising, chocolate eyes.
Roped into staying with him for the summer, Hope is determined not to enjoy herself. Ash seems determined to change that, and figure out the dark secret she's hiding. However when Ben Hastle, the resident pyromaniac, suddenly takes an interest in her and Ash proves to be not all he seems, Hope has to decide who to trust to
finally settle an old score.
Chaos and broken plates are sure to ensue. But from the shattered porcelain, can something else blossom as well?

Ways to stay connected

Official twitter:
www.twitter.com/fanaticwriter1

Imprint facebook fan page:
www.facebook.com/imprintannmariemcqueen

Official website:
www.annmariemcqueen.webs.com

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