Impossible (20 page)

“What happened with you two? What’s going on?” I didn’t know why Eddie was being so nice to me since I’d been nothing but mean to him over the last few years.

I sniffed, and scrunched up the tissue in my hand. “I just went over to see Luca and he was with Yuki.” I couldn’t believe what I’d just admitted to Eddie, but what stunned me the most was that, for once, I was actually allowing myself to be honest instead of putting up a front.

If Eddie was surprised he didn’t show it. “So, you’re upset that you ignored Luca and he moved on with someone else during that time?”

Once again, I found myself spilling all my inner most feeling to Eddie. It was so much easier talking to someone you didn’t know that well. “Yeah, but I don’t know why. I mean, this thing between me and Luca, I don’t know how real it was. I don’t know why it’s affecting me so much. I should move on and not think about him.”

Eddie looked thoughtful as I finished speaking. “You and Luca are from completely different worlds. It would make sense for you to move on with someone from your circle, now that you’re in with the cheerleaders and jocks again.” Eddie paused and then let out a sigh before continuing. “You and Luca totally rub each other the wrong way. At first, when he announced that you two were seeing each other, I thought there was no way it was going to work out. But the more I saw you together, the more it seemed to make sense. When Stace started getting angry about it, I thought it was because she hated you. Then I realized it was because she saw it too. There really was something between you and Luca that she didn’t have with him.”

I held my breath as Eddie spoke, hardly daring to believe him. He was such a nice guy and he had so much faith in Luca and me that I couldn’t bear to lead him on. I’d lied to so many people and I think a part of me wanted to cleanse my soul. “Eddie, I have to tell you something.” I took a deep breath. “Me and Luca, we weren’t really dating. We were just…”

“Faking it?” Eddie finished without batting an eye.

My mouth dropped open and I stared at him. “How did you know? Did Luca tell you?”

Eddie shook his head. “No, I just know him well enough to know when he’s lying about something. Riley was pretty suspicious too, but I tried to throw him off.”

“You…what? Why would you do that?” I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that Eddie had figured out the sham. If he’d so easily realized that we were faking it then how many other people had done the same?

Eddie shrugged and kicked at the ground. “I figured you had your reasons, and it had nothing to do with me. But the two of really have feelings for each other, don’t you? That’s why you’re so upset about Luca and Yuki. You fell for him without even realizing that it was possible.”

For a guy, Eddie had amazing insight. It was funny that I’d picked on him and judged him from a distance without knowing what he was really like. I’d never seen him as a person with feelings. I’d always seen him as an object of ridicule. For the first time in my life, I was truly disgusted with myself. I was a horrible person and I didn’t deserve his kindness.

I bit my lip, trying not to cry again. The last two weeks all I’d done was cry, nothing else. I hadn’t been this emotional in a long time—maybe it was long overdue. “When he’s with me, it reminds me of the person I used to be. I never had to impress him, he just accepted me for who I was. I don’t know how he feels about me, but it’s pretty obvious it’s not the way I feel about him, and that’s okay. I just want to be done with this whole thing.”

Eddie’s deep blue eyes were probing as he stared at me in silence. The silence wasn’t awkward though—I found it comforting. I’d never have thought that I could feel so at ease with someone like him.

“Huh,” Eddie finally said. “I think you still don’t know him as well as you think you do.”

Ashton

As usual the bonfire was being held at Verdana Lake which was located in the blink-and-you’ll-miss-it town of Verdana. Verdana mainly consisted of woods and creeks and not much more. The town had a small general store, but the residents normally went to Statlen or one of the other surrounding towns to shop. The isolation that the surrounding woods provided made it the perfect place to hold a bonfire without the police finding out.

The only way to get to the lake was by driving up through a clearing in the woods and then going on foot the remainder of the way which was a ten minute walk through the forest. To outsiders, it just looked like a whole lot of underbrush and trees, but the locals knew about the trail that had been imprinted there long ago. We’d been going to the lake for years, so there was no way we’d ever get lost amongst the trees.

  When Oliver drove up through the clearing—which was just a car-sized gap in between the trees—there were already other kids from school getting alcohol and food out of their cars. Oliver parked in one of the last spots left and we got out of the car as Oliver locked up his BMW which looked completely out of place here. People called out to Oliver as we entered the forest, but he waved and kept walking. He seemed distracted tonight and I wanted to ask him what was wrong, but didn’t think it was my place.

Maybe he regretted breaking up with Kance, but when he took my hand, all those thoughts quickly disappeared from my mind. Holy freaking hell. Oliver was holding my hand!

We didn’t talk much, but my hand in his did all the talking for us. He was definitely interested in me and that’s all I cared about. We weren’t alone on the trail, and a few people shot us curious looks as we passed them.

We finally broke out into the large clearing that surrounded Verdana Lake. The lake wasn’t the biggest around these parts, and you could probably walk around it in less than ten minutes. There was a cold breeze tonight that was causing small ripples to appear on the surface of the lake. The breeze chilled me to my core and I was looking forward to getting close to that fire.

Our footsteps made crunching sounds as we walked over the pebbly terrain and towards the large bonfire that loomed up ahead. The smoke—which clustered like thick clouds—and loud voices filled the air.

There were about a hundred people all laughing and talking, or drinking and dancing. Someone had brought collapsible tables that sat against a rock wall, which was covered with a variety of food— meat, marshmallows, crisps, sweets—and drinks.

My mouth watered from the smell of smoky, roasted sausages, and I reminded myself to get one before they all ran out.

I caught sight of Riley and Stace who were standing together in a corner, engaged in a pretty intense conversation. Eddie and Elly were standing nearby talking to Kendall and Yuki—they all looked like they were having a good time. A part of me wished I was with them, but I couldn’t leave Oliver. Not when I was so close to getting what I wanted.

Oliver led me to a corner where a few other guys—including Bennett—were sitting on some logs. They greeted us both and made room so I could sit down.

Oliver bent over and whispered in my ear. “What do you want to drink?”

“Whatever you’re having,” I said with a coy smile.

“Is beer okay with you?” he asked, his blue eyes a strange color in the orange glow of the fire.

Ew. I hated beer. It tasted like vomit.

I nodded, still smiling. “Sounds great.”

“Okay, I’ll be right back.” He disappeared into the crowd, and my attention was drawn to a laugh nearby. It was Bennett.

He grinned at me. “So, you and Oliver, huh?”

I shrugged. I was still pissed off at him, but considering he was also one of Oliver’s friends, I had to play nice. Even though I wanted to punch him in the face. Hard. “Yeah, it seems that way.”

Matthew Sutton turned his head in my direction. “Oliver’s got it for you bad, Ashton. He was talking about you all week.”

My interest was piqued and I leaned forward eagerly. “So, what exactly happened with him and Kance? They were pretty hot and heavy last week.”

Matthew took a long drag from a suspicious looking cigarette before answering. “Yeah, but he found her screwing his brother, so he dumped her ass.”

My eyebrows shot up. So that was the real reason they’d ended things. Then I’d come along at the right moment and reignited his interest in me. That’d been pretty lucky.

A few guys burst out laughing and I heard one of them say, “Look at that loser dancing! He looks constipated!”

I assumed they were talking about Luca, but I couldn’t see him anywhere. Besides, he’d made it pretty clear he wasn’t going to show up, so it was stupid to look for him. Anyway, I was here with Oliver and I shouldn’t even be thinking about another guy with him by my side. There were so many girls who’d kill to be in my position.

Following their gazes, I noticed they were pointing at Eddie. My insides sank and a rush of anger flooded me. Who the hell were they to judge Eddie? They didn’t know him. Eddie was ten times the man they all were.

“Leave him alone, you immature jerks!” I snapped, tossing my hair over my shoulder. “He’s just having a good time. There’s no need to make fun of him!”

The guys all stopped and looked around at me in surprise. Before things got any more awkward, Oliver came back with the drinks. The guys shot me dark looks, but didn’t say anything further.

“What’s going on?” Oliver handed me a beer and sat down beside me, putting his free arm around my shoulder. It felt nice to have him close to me, but it was lacking somehow.

My chest was tight, but I forced a smile. “Nothing much. Just catching up with Ben and Matt. Your next game’s coming up soon, right?”

Oliver’s face brightened up. Football was a topic he was passionate about and it didn’t take long before he and the other guys launched into a heated discussion about how they were going to beat the rival school, Penthill High. I smiled and nodded through the entire conversation. At one stage I took a sip of the beer and, when no one was looking, spit it back into the can.

When the football conversation died down, Oliver’s arm tightened around me and I looked up at him shyly. “Are you having a good time?”

I nodded, giving him the artificial smile that had been glued onto my face the entire night. “Yeah, this is fun.”

Bennett chuckled, and nodded somewhere to his right. “You’re not the only one who thinks so.”

I looked out into the crowd, and at first didn’t get what he was saying. My eyes scanned the people standing around the edge of the bonfire; some dancing and some cooking marshmallows on sticks. Then my eyes fell on a couple who were dancing in a corner. The girl was grinding up against the guy whose hands were all over her body. My stomach dropped.

It was Luca and Yuki.

“He moves on quick, eh?” Matt commented as he passed me the cigarette that was definitely not a cigarette. I handed it to Oliver without trying it. Drugs weren’t my thing and never had been. I wasn’t about to change that stance. Oliver threw his beer can onto the ground and took a puff of the rolled up substance.

I looked away, back at Luca and Yuki. They were oblivious to the people around them. When I couldn’t stand their display any longer, I turned to Oliver. “Do you want to go for a walk?”

Oliver nodded and took another drag of the roll before passing it back to Matt. Oliver’s friends all nudged each other as Oliver and I stood up. Obviously they thought we were leaving to get some privacy. They couldn’t be more wrong. I wasn’t in the mood to get “any” tonight. Luca and Yuki had ruined that for me.

We strolled out of vicinity of the lake and headed back towards the clearing where Oliver had parked, and further away from the noise from the bonfire. Oliver had an arm wrapped around my shoulder the entire time which normally I would’ve thought was sweet, but tonight made me feel smothered. We were silent as we stopped at a fallen log and sat below it, the shadows of the trees obscuring us.

“You’ve been driving me insane all week, Ashton. You’re all I’ve been thinking about.” Oliver’s voice broke the silence and I turned to him, trying to look surprised. His friends had already spilled the beans so there were no surprises in his admission.

“Really?” I tried to sound somewhat interested, but my mind was elsewhere. Fixated on chartreuse green eyes.

“Yeah, really.” And then, without warning, Oliver’s lips were on mine as he pushed me back onto the ground.

He reeked of alcohol and his breath tasted of cheap beer and whatever he’d been smoking. I was completely turned off, so I placed a hand on his chest to push him back. “Oliver, I…”

He wasn’t listening to me though. “I know you want me. You don’t need to say a word.” He pushed down on me again as he sloppily began kissing my neck. His every touch repulsed me and I tried to push him away, but he was way too heavy for me to move.

This was not what I wanted. I just wanted him off.

“Oliver, stop it!” I snapped. “I don’t want to do this here with you!”

He paused and looked at me with glassy eyes. “You wanna go back to my car?”

“No! I just want to get away from you!” I shoved at his solid chest, but he caught my hand in his, crushing it hard. I cried out in pain and tried to pull it away. “Stop it! You’re hurting me, you jerk!”

Anger sparked in his eyes. “You stupid little slut. You were screwing Luca all week and now you won’t sleep with me? You little snob, you’ll do a loser like him, but not me? You think you’re better than me?”