Immortal Light: Wide Awake (23 page)

As she held Benjamin’s
hands, she felt him in the energy or
light
that passed between them. She
could feel his emotions, his feelings, and they were sad. She knew
that what she was seeing was a memory written into his sanctuary,
his
haven
, for a
purpose so sacred that she knew he was sharing it with her in spite
of a promise he made.

From deep down inside him, she
felt sorrow similar to what one feels when a loved one has died. It
was the way she felt when she would think about her grandfather.
Benjamin longed for the miraculous city that lay before them, and
she turned to him and embraced him, placing her head on his
chest.

She knew there was nothing she
could actually do to take away the pain and hurt that distance and
time from his home had caused, but she was going to try. She wanted
to take away his pain and she felt like that was actually possible.
She focused all of her thoughts on his happiness and she could feel
his sorrow intensify in her. She felt his sadness and she fought
the mental battle of stripping it from him piece by piece. Taking
it would be her gift to him and she would not fail. She could feel
the process begin to work. It was strangely draining, but she
wanted to do it for him.

As she felt the last ounce of sorrow leave his
body and as her whole essence began to feel tired and exhausted
from the task, she felt Benjamin place both hands on her shoulders
and pull her gently away from him.

He stared into her eyes, and
her tired body felt loose in his grasp. She couldn’t make out his
expression, she couldn’t read him, until suddenly he reached both
hands up to her face. She could sense at that moment, looking at
his perfect face and feeling his cleansed
light
, that she was in love with
him. There was no doubt anymore. Then he brushed her hair back over
both of her shoulders and she closed her eyes as he kissed
her.

Chapter
12

Lucy’s heart was pounding as she
sat up in bed, the morning sunlight beaming in her window. She
reached up and touched her lips and the greatest bolt of sheer joy
raced so deep through her body that she jumped out of bed and began
to spin, arms wide, in the sunlight, dancing on the floor as the
light danced on her. There was no warmth greater than what she was
producing at the moment, not even the sun as it crawled slowly up
the walls.

The clock on the night table read
8:42; she had a little more than an hour to get ready for work. The
continued feeling of joy enveloped her as she walked through the
white frame of her bedroom door. Excitedly, she ran into her
father, who was already dressed for a day of yard work in his torn
jeans and old Lakers t-shirt.

Dancing up to him as he carried his well-worn
and earth-stained tennis shoes to the stairs, Lucy kissed her
father on the cheek. “Good morning, Daddy, how are you?”

James sized up his daughter with a more than
skeptical look. “I’m just fine, Goosey. Everything
alright?”

“
Yeah, perfect, why?”

James looked at her with a contorted
expression, then blinked as if clearing his head.

“
No reason. Just don’t take too
long getting ready, your mother has a hair appointment at ten, so
she needs to drop you off early today,” he said to his daughter,
who seemed to be possessed.

Dancing to the bathroom, Lucy grabbed the
polished handle of the door, turned back around, and poked her
smiling face out. “Okay, Daddy, I won’t.”

James just shook his head and headed
downstairs.

As she got ready for work, Lucy couldn’t help
but think about the night before. Her kiss with Benjamin felt so
real. The only other guy she had kissed was Mark, but Benjamin’s
kiss on the edge of a sheer cliff bathed in the golden light of the
setting sun with nothing but a mystical city of gold as the
backdrop could never be topped in reality, so Lucy was content to
live in the metaphysical.

Kat was right. Love was when you
couldn’t do anything but think about him and couldn’t be anywhere
that wasn’t with him, and couldn’t see anything that didn’t remind
you of him. Lucy knew she was in love and she wanted to tell the
whole world. The only problem was that no one could ever actually
know about it because they would ship her off to some asylum for
the romantically insane. Then, it occurred to her that Benjamin,
the one she kissed, wasn’t real, and she felt her levity drain a
little bit.

“
Hang on to it, Lucy. It could
still be real,” she said to herself as she applied her lipstick.
“It could be real.” She tied to sound hopeful, but it came out more
hopeless.

***

The library parking lot was empty
on Saturday morning except for Kenny’s tragically dilapidated
eyesore. The library itself was equally empty. Kenny was in his
office rummaging through boxes of books that he got from
who-knows-where. The only days he ever got to the library before
Lucy were days when he knew a shipment of books would be
made.

His dark, greasy locks popped up from his work
at the sound of Lucy’s backpack hitting the counter.

“
Oh, hi Lucy.” He suddenly looked
less interested in his box of books and gave Lucy his undivided
attention. “How are you?”

His tone was awkward, as if
forcing himself to be nice, but Lucy also noticed that he looked
slightly different, almost like he had been sick. He slouched more
than usual and his face was damp with perspiration in spite of the
air conditioning.

“
I’m good,” she
said with some apprehension. “Are you alright, you look a little
…
”

His eyes widened and he looked down at the
floor. “Uh, no, I’m fine.” He immediately changed the subject. “Can
you grab this box and scan them? Thanks.” He slowly walked back
into his office and closed the door.

Lucy shook her head at the
strangeness of her boss. She felt bad for all the things she
thought about him. He was creepy and awkward, but he had never
seemed threatening.

Mrs. Breen was the last to arrive at the
library, as usual. She and Lucy greeted each other as was their
custom: with a hug and a smile. Mrs. Breen instantly realized that
something was afoot in Lucy’s life.

“
Oh, dear me, is someone in love?”
Mrs. Breen said, smiling scandalously as Lucy danced back to her
computer desk.

Lucy froze. “I have no idea what you’re
talking about,” she said as she continued to scan her box of
books.

“
Oh, come on, sweetheart, I’ve
been around for a while now, and I know when a young lady’s in
love. Now who is the lucky fellow, and does he deserve you at
all?”

Lucy blushed. She didn’t know how
to answer. It wasn’t as simple as just being in love; there was a
complexity to it that even Mrs. Breen, in her vast catalog of
experience, might find a little odd.

“
It’s no one, really. I just had,
well, a really nice dream, and there might have been a guy
there.”

Mrs. Breen shot a playfully cautious look at
Lucy and the two chuckled. “Well, I certainly hope your dreams are
staying PG-rated.”

“
Mrs. Breen.”
Lucy responded in a scandalized tone, her embarrassment reaching
new heights. “It was rated ‘G’; it was only …
”
She took a breath in an effort to
reduce the color of her cheeks to a cherry blossom pink rather than
a fire engine red.
“
We just sort of … kissed.
”
She said the words softly in the hope that Mrs.
Breen hadn’t heard.

“
Goodness, a kiss? You can learn a
lot about someone by how they kiss. Tell me all about it, and I’ll
tell you if he’s worth it.” Mrs. Breen wore a supportive grin on
her face.

Lucy bit her bottom lip and wrestled with what
to say when Mrs. Breen cut back in.

“
So, I’m guessing you’re not going
to give the juicy details. Heaven knows, darlin’, I’ve probably
experienced it all anyhow. At least tell me if he was fiction or
non-fiction.”

I can’t believe I’m going to
say this
, she thought just a fraction of a
second before speaking. “Well, he’s a little of both. He’s a real
guy, but he’s not really interested in me.”

“
How could any boy not be
interested in you? You’re beautiful, darlin’, and I ain’t just
sayin’ that. If I had half your looks when I was your age, my
father would have had to beat them away with a stick.”

Lucy smiled appreciatively.

Mrs. Breen continued, “And if you don’t mind
me sayin’ so, you’re filling out quite nicely.”

Not truly believing her ears, Lucy could feel
the red coming back, and Mrs. Breen simply winked at her. Having
been completely embarrassed and surprisingly complemented in the
same sentence, Lucy went back to scanning her books. A few moments
of silence passed as Mrs. Breen logged onto her
computer.

“
I’ll tell you what, darlin’,”
Mrs. Breen continued as though the conversation had never paused.
“You got to be careful with dreams. If you don’t do somethin’ about
‘em, you might really never have a shot with your guy,” she looked
up at Lucy over the tops of her glasses, “whoever he might
be.”

The hint was sent and received. Lucy wheeled
her chair over to Mrs. Breen’s desk and looked to see that Kenny
was still occupied in his office.

“
Okay, I’ll tell you,” she said in
a very conspiratorial and hushed tone that got Mrs. Breen’s
attention so fully that she pulled her glasses off and let them
hang from their chain around her neck.

“
I’m all ears,
darlin’.”

“
It’s Benjamin Raven.”

“
Oh my
goodness!” Mrs. Breen exclaimed a little too loudly, and the two of
them turned to look at Kenny’s office. “You don’t mean
my
Benjamin—the tall,
strong-looking drink of water with the green eyes—do
you?
”

Lucy nodded enthusiastically.

“
Oh, I’m sorry, dear, you can’t;
not with him.”

Lucy was perplexed. “Why not?”

“
Oh because, darlin’, he’s mine.”
She smiled teasingly and winked again.

Lucy sighed in relief. “Don’t do
that; you had me seriously worried.”

Mrs. Breen chortled quietly as she
reached out and touched Lucy’s hand. Oddly, Lucy felt the energy
again, the same she had felt with Benjamin and Mark. It was a more
defined sensation than with Mark, but not so precise as with
Benjamin. Maybe what Benjamin had explained about the Immortal
Light was real.

“
Oh, you go and grab that boy up;
he’s an absolute gem in a canyon of stones.”

Lucy opened her mouth to respond, but she
didn’t know how to explain the complexities of their
relationship.

“
I’ll do my best, Sandi. I
promise,” she said, not wanting to take the conversation any
further.

***

The library had been pretty quiet all day,
with only a few people coming in.

“
Come on; give the girl a break,
you weasel. It’s the last good weekend for the beach. Let her go
have fun before it starts getting dark earlier.”

Lucy tried to stay out of the fights between
Mrs. Breen and Kenny, especially when they were in her
favor.

Kenny looked at the clock.
“She still needs to be here for another hour; I can’t do anything
about that. She’s supposed to—
”

“
Oh, stop it. No one’s been in
here for nearly two hours. Lord knows I can handle it ‘til six. Let
her go.”

Kenny’s lips tightened in pent up frustration
with Mrs. Breen’s logic, and Lucy held her breath as she swept the
entryway, waiting for an answer.

“
Fine, she can go,” he said. “What
do I care? Lucy, you can go home,” he said, swinging his arms into
the air and turning to head back to his office.

When the door was slammed shut, Lucy smiled
widely and caught a playful wink from Mrs. Breen.

“
See, honey, all it takes is a
little perseverance.”

“
Are you sure
this is okay—with you, I mean? I don
’
t want you to be alone with
…
”
she jerked her
head toward Kenny
’
s office.

“
Don’t you worry about me. I can
handle ol’ Chicken Bones in there.”

Lucy grabbed her bag, hugged Mrs. Breen, and
said goodbye.

Lucy stepped off the city bus at her street,
just as her mother’s car pulled up beside her. “You’re home
early.”

Lucy skipped over to the car and got in.
“Yeah, Mrs. Breen told me to go home and get my homework done
because it was so dead today.”

“
Great. You can help me with
dinner.”

Lucy smiled as her mother seemed
to be receptive to her geniality.

“
Where’s dad? His truck’s not
here,” Lucy said as they pulled into the driveway.