I'Ll Go Home Then, It's Warm and Has Chairs. The Unpublished Emails. - (6 page)

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From: Ella Johnson

Date: Tuesday 31 May 2011 4.06pm

To: David Thorne

Subject: Re: Re: Book

No of course I'm not because you just made that up. There is nothing in the book about cats making you their king. I was referring to at least 3 articles that mention cats being tortured or killed. The text on the page you mentioned actually states:

"I once agreed to look after a friend's cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter, I kept the cat in a closed cardboard box in the shed and forgot about it. If I wanted to feed something and clean faeces, I wouldn't have put my mother in that home after her stroke. A week later, when my friend came to collect his cat, I pretended that I was not home and mailed the box to him. Apparently I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had to collect it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars. He still goes on about that sometimes, people need to learn to let go."

The thought of a cat being trapped and frightened in a box in the dark and slowly starving to death is what you call humor? Pathetic. You need to take a good long look at yourself and seriously consider seeing a psychiatrist for your own safety and those around you. I have no idea how you managed to get published by Penguin writing disgusting material that cleary illustrates a complete lack of morals and ethics.

Ella J

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From: David Thorne

Date: Tuesday 31 May 2011 4.57pm

To: Ella Johnson

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Book

Dear Ella,

I never stated the cat starved to death and you have simply assumed that it didn't enjoy the experience. Cats like being in boxes. Also, it was a fairly big box. I could understand your concern if it had been a shoebox but it was at least twice that size.

It is easy to take something written out of its original context and make it look bad; a few years ago, I was commissioned to write copy for an annual publication produced by Top Tourist Parks of Australia. After a print run of seventy-five thousand and distribution throughout Australia and New Zealand, it was discovered that I had left the letter v out of the word 'dive' and the introduction for a family beach resort activity read, "Die with your children. A new world awaits." Apparently a child had drowned the year before so I admit it was bad timing but these things happen, there's no point carrying on about it.

Also, despite your opinion that I am without either morals or ethics, many of the articles in the book have an underlying message expressing the contrary. I have attached the article David and his best friends go to the movies, which clearly illustrates this.

Regards, David.