I'Ll Go Home Then, It's Warm and Has Chairs. The Unpublished Emails. - (26 page)

BOOK: I'Ll Go Home Then, It's Warm and Has Chairs. The Unpublished Emails. -
13.24Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub

Bill tries to buy cheese. Part one

You have to do your timesheets. Everyone does.

Humming the theme from Space 1999 and other Christmas classics

Bill tries to buy cheese Part 2

Ten reasons I probably shouldn’t be alive: the humps & bumps

Opinions are like nipples, everybody has one.

Bill tries to buy cheese. Part 3

Ten reasons I probably shouldn’t be alive: Wilma Deering

I know you’re busy, so I made another form to fill out

Ten reasons I probably shouldn’t be alive: the rowboat

David & his best friends go camping

Ten F26-A formal complaint notices in six months

Goat Rotation: A guide to rotating a goat by 37˚

Ten reasons I probably shouldn’t be alive: camping

Dressing like a woman doesn't make you special

Understanding science Part 1: Biology

Ten reasons I probably shouldn’t be alive: being stabbed

Hello, my name is Chris and I have lots of girlfriends who I kiss

Girls like telephones and apps. It isn't rocket science.

Ten reasons I probably shouldn’t be alive: the beach

Understanding science Part 2: How aircraft work.

More statements my offspring has made that make me wonder if there was a mixup in the hospital.

Buying a Canada Goose jacket online

Buying an Omega Speedmaster online

The horn in the grill procedure

Free Oprah Winfrey Halloween mask

Ten reasons I probably shouldn’t be alive: stuffed animals

Dear Comcast, please do not watch me on the internet

Ten reasons I probably shouldn’t be alive: the treehouse

David & his best friends go shopping

Being branded a sheep

There is nothing xmasy about Santa driving a moon buggy

Herman, the Sad and Lonely Spaceship

About the author

David & his best friends at the back of the book

Other books

Where Love Shines by Donna Fletcher Crow
Jaq’s Harp by Ella Drake
Honeymoon of the Dead by Tate Hallaway
A Vampire’s Mistress by Theresa Meyers
Truly Madly Guilty by Liane Moriarty
Dragonlove by Marc Secchia
Third Degree by Greg Iles