If You Want Me (23 page)

Marcus considered her words. If Tanisha was responsible for the latest tabloid fiasco, then it was likely that she was the one who had slashed Alice’s tire and brought the gift to her house. Based on circumstantial evidence, he could make a case for Tanisha’s guilt. She was everywhere the threats had happened. It was the motive that was a little sketchy. Why hire Alice and then try to discredit her? But Marcus had certainly seen stranger things in the years he’d been a cop and nothing would surprise him.

Still he asked, “Why do you think Tanisha was behind this?”

Alice explained the missing picture to him. “Besides, the fact that she hates me? Oh, I don’t know.”

“I’ll question her.”

“I already did. She denied it.”

“I might have better luck.”

Alice let the matter slide. The fight was gone out of her, and knowing that Marcus would deal with this made her feel better.

Better than it should.

He reached for her hand, gently squeezed it. It was meant as a gesture of support, she knew, but a lightning bolt may as well have struck the house, that’s how radically the atmosphere changed. The air around them was suddenly electrically charged.

His eyes roamed over her face, as if trying to en
sure she was okay. When he looked at her like that, with such concern, it was easy for Alice to believe that he cared about her. His gaze dropped from her eyes to her mouth, and her heart skipped a beat. God, was he going to kiss her?

Slowly, he eased up, edging toward her, and Alice froze. She should move away, say something, but she did neither. Instead, she closed her eyes and waited until his lips met hers.

But they didn’t. Instead, Marcus stopped, his face a fraction from hers and moaned softly. “I tell myself I should resist you, but for some reason, I can’t,” he said. He stood and, taking her hands, pulled her into his arms. “You are so beautiful. Everything about you.” He ran one hand over her shoulder and down her back. “The way you feel.” He leaned closer, burying his nose in her neck. “The way you smell.” He leaned back, yet tightened his arm around her waist. “The way you look.”

Alice didn’t dare breathe.

Stepping backward, he ran his hands down her arms until he reached her hands. “And your feet. I never understood foot fetishes until I saw those toes.”

Alice felt so hot, she wondered if she was in danger of overheating. “My toes?”

“Mmm-hmm,” he replied, the sound emanating more from his chest than his lips. Raising her hands, he linked fingers with hers. “And your lips.” He urged her closer, rubbed his nose against hers. “I love the way they surrender beneath mine.”

Fool that she was, she was putty in his hands. She enjoyed this exquisite foreplay too much to put a stop to it.

“And your breasts. God, I love how they taste.”

She couldn’t help it—she shuddered as delicious heat flooded her core.

“That’s it, Alice.” He trailed his mouth along her jaw until his lips found her ear. “I want to feel you surrender in my arms.”

The low, seductive whisper in her ear was almost her undoing. She closed her eyes and rode the sweet waves of sensation pulsating through her body. “Oh, Marcus…”

He brought his lips to her mouth and silenced her with a kiss. This wasn’t a foreplay kiss. This was an I-want-you-right-now kiss. And it left them both panting when he tore his lips from hers.

Marcus was lost. He could no more stop himself from making love to Alice than he could stop himself from breathing. He wanted her. Wanted her with a need that was foreign to him in its intensity. He reached for her shirt and urgently pulled it off her head, then brushed aside the fabric of her bra and took her nipple in his mouth.

She cried out instantly and clutched her hands to his head. God, he loved the way she responded to him. He could spend forever making love to her and not get bored.

Bringing his mouth back to her lips, he moved her body with his until she hit the bed and lay backward. He stripped her of her jeans and panties, stripped himself of his sweats and briefs, then settled himself between her legs, filling her with one eager thrust.

Alice dug her nails into his back while he loved her. Their coupling was urgent, and he wasn’t gentle, but she didn’t want gentle. She wanted all of
him, even if he could only give her that in the act of lovemaking.

And when they skyrocketed into orbit together, both of them gripping each other as if they were the only two people in the world, Alice knew that this was enough.

For now, it had to be.

Two weeks later, the storm over Alice’s last feature in the tabloids hadn’t calmed. She was used to Terry’s animosity, but other parents had also openly expressed their concern that maybe she was doing more harm than good to their children. Their negativity hurt Alice, but she was determined to remain strong. She wasn’t going to give in and let the person trying to destroy her life win.

It helped that Marie had supported her, assuring her she didn’t believe a word of the rumors. Given all the snide comments her sister had made about Hollywood in the past, she could have used this opportunity to berate her choice of careers once again, but she hadn’t. Even more than before, Alice believed that Marie’s seeming animosity toward her acting career had nothing to do with Hollywood but with her own frustrations about what she had and hadn’t done in her life.

Though Alice hoped the tabloid rumors hadn’t reached the children’s ears, at every rehearsal since the last story broke, she sensed they were curious about the truth. So when she heard Jeremy bugging Mia about her aunt being on drugs the last time they met, she sat them down and explained her side of the story. If they were old enough to hear the gossip and possibly their parents’ distorted views, they were old enough to hear the simple truth from her.

Marcus had been nothing but supportive during the past couple weeks, and the stress that had hung like a cloud over their friendship was gone now. It felt good to laugh and smile again with ease. Perhaps because they’d both given up the illusion that they could live in the same house and keep their hands off each other, they had found a measure of peace. They still made love, and it was always intense, but Alice didn’t expect anything beyond the moment. It was easier that way.

They’d made love last night, and Alice had stayed in Marcus’s bed long after he had gone to work. She had come close to telling him that she loved him as she’d climaxed, but somehow had held her emotions back. In a way, it was getting harder each time they made love, because he seemed to give of himself so completely that Alice couldn’t shake the dream that he loved her but simply wasn’t ready to admit the truth to himself.

She rolled from her back onto her side, drawing the bedsheet up to her neck. Inhaling deeply, she savored Marcus’s unique scent, mingled with the scent of their lovemaking. It was too late to tell herself that she shouldn’t get attached; she was lost.

The phone rang, and Alice stretched across the
bed to the night table to answer it. Marcus often called her during the day to make sure she was okay.

“Hello.”

“Desirée, it’s Tanisha.”

Alice’s stomach dropped. Tanisha knew that she was living with Marcus? “Yes?”

“Are you busy now?”

“Right now?”

“Yes.”

“Why?” Alice asked. Where Tanisha was concerned, she couldn’t help feeling wary. She didn’t trust her.

“There’s something I’d like to discuss with you, and I’d rather we not do it on the phone. Maybe you can meet me at the theater.”

“Anything you have to say to me, say it now. I’ve got a busy day ahead of me.” That was a lie, but she wasn’t about to meet Tanisha alone anywhere. After everything that had happened, she didn’t trust her. Tanisha seemed the most likely candidate out to destroy her.

“All right. It’s about Saturday’s rehearsal. I’ve invited members of the media and city council to view the play.”

“You
what?”

“With all the negative backlash since that article in
The Intellect
, I felt it was the best thing to do. This way, the press can see you in action, see the children perform, and give advance reviews to counter all the rumors.”

What Tanisha said made sense, but two days’ notice was hardly adequate. “I’m not sure how the kids will react to this, Tanisha. They’re used to per
forming for me, but to suddenly have an audience when they thought they had two more weeks of rehearsals before opening night…”

“I wish we had the luxury of time, but we don’t. I want to put an end to all the speculation before it permanently hurts the theater’s future.”

“All right,” Alice reluctantly agreed. The children were doing well with their parts, and she was confident they could give a good performance. And if Tanisha was doing this to make her fail, Alice would prove to her that she
would
succeed. “As long as you or I announce ahead of time that this was totally unexpected and not to judge their performances too harshly.”

“Of course. I’m glad you understand the importance of this, Alice. The theater’s future depends on it.”

You should have thought of that before you sent my picture off to the tabloids.
“For the theater’s sake, I hope this goes well.”

“I’ll see you Saturday.”

“See you then.”

The moment Alice hung up the phone, she got the jitters. What if everything went wrong? What if the children forgot their lines? What if the press hated the end product of her weeks of teaching the class?

As she lay back on Marcus’s overly large pillows, she told herself that her fears were normal. She’d gotten the jitters before every acting role she’d ever done. Now that she was the director, she carried more weight on her shoulders. This would be an important day for the children, and she wanted everything to go right for them—even more than
she’d wished that for her own acting parts in the past. It was only normal for her to expect that the nervous feeling would be even more intense.

But there was another feeling, one of foreboding. That feeling she couldn’t explain away.

When Marcus returned home that Thursday evening after work, the first thing he noticed was the smell of vanilla. It filled his house.

The second thing he noticed was the flickering of candlelight on the wall in the living room. Slipping out of his lightweight jacket, he strolled into the living room—and noticed the third surprise.

Alice lay stretched out on the sofa in a white teddy and garters that held up white stockings. The sinfully erotic sight robbed him of his breath.

They’d made love at least half a dozen times, but Alice had never set out to seduce him like this. That she did now had him instantly hot and hard. This was the kind of greeting a man could get used to.

But he didn’t want to get used to any such thing. Coming home to a wife and dinner, sex maybe once a week and one day on the weekend? He didn’t want that for his life. He wasn’t the marrying type, at least not anymore. Marriage changed everything.

Christ, why had thoughts of marriage even entered his mind?

And even if he wanted to contemplate a relationship with Alice, the moment the summer was over, she would high-tail it out of Chicago. Her mother’s health had improved dramatically, and soon there
would be nothing keeping her away from Hollywood.

The sex was great, as long as they didn’t get attached to each other.

“Hey, you,” she said in a sultry voice.

“Hey, yourself,” Marcus replied, surprised to find his throat was suddenly parched. He swallowed.

“No need to be a stranger,” she told him.

Marcus moved toward her and sat on the edge of the sofa. He placed a hand on her thigh. “What’s the occasion?”

“Does there have to be one?” she asked, twirling a tendril of her hair over a finger as she met his eyes with a bold gaze.

“No, I guess not.” He ran his eyes over the entire length of her body, from the tip of her head to those sexy red toenails he could see through her stockings.

Alice sat up and trailed a finger down his chest. “I figured that after a long day, you’d appreciate a little help unwinding.”

“Oh, this is a good start.”

“How was your day?”

He could hardly concentrate with her touching him all over his upper body. “It was stressful,” he managed. “There was a hit and run. A young mother.”

“Oh, God.” Alice paused as she regarded him with a serious expression. “Is she okay?”

“She’s in critical condition, but she’s expected to make it.”

“Good.” She began massaging his neck. “Anything else?”

“I don’t exactly want to talk anymore,” Marcus said.

A smile spread across Alice’s face. “Hmm. That’s the problem with men. They just don’t know how to make conversation.”

Marcus wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her onto his lap. “Not when they’re tempted by sexy vixens like you.”

He covered her lips with his, his tongue delving into her mouth. It was hot and sweet the way it always was. Alice purred immediately, and Marcus went rock hard. The fact that she was so easily turned on when he merely touched or kissed her made him crazy with desire.

“Lie back,” he told her when he pulled his mouth from hers. She did as told, bending one leg at the knee and extending her hands behind her head. She was too damn sexy for her own good. He wasn’t sure he’d ever tire of her.

“You’re trying to torture me, which isn’t very nice,” he said, in a mock-scolding voice. “Which means I’ll have to be ruthless with you.”

“Ooh, I love it when you get tough with me. Maybe you should arrest me.” She giggled.

Right now, there was nothing he’d like more than to handcuff her to his bed and tease her until she begged him to stop. Alice had him wanting to try all sorts of things he’d never even considered before.

Instead, he lowered his head and used his hands and mouth on her body to make her as hot as she had made him. Finally, she cried out, “Marcus, I can’t stand it anymore.”

He stripped off his clothes in two seconds flat, then entered her. He controlled the urge to ravage her like a madman, an urge she always brought out
in him, and instead led their bodies in a slow, exquisite rhythm.

They reached the stars together, and as Alice gripped his back and softly moaned, he looked down at her. Tears fell from her eyes, down the sides of her face. The vision winded him as surely as a punch in the gut would, but he wasn’t sure why.

“I love you, Marcus,” she whispered.

And his body went cold.

Three simple words, yet they were enough to fill his world with dread. He didn’t want her falling for him. Love was a complication he didn’t need in his life. In the past, it had only brought him heartache. He’d always made bad decisions where love was concerned, and he didn’t want to make another one.

But it was too late. Hadn’t he known Alice was in love with him? Every time he touched her, kissed her, she responded in a way that touched him deeper than in a merely physical way. Still, he hadn’t been able to pull away, to stop this affair before it got to this point.

And now, he was going to hurt her. Because he couldn’t give her what she needed when he wasn’t sure what he needed himself.

Telling Marcus that she loved him hadn’t been an accident. She’d been contemplating telling him how she felt for over a week, and with her reason for being in Chicago soon coming to an end, she’d decided to go for it. If he only wanted the wrapping but not what was inside the package, it was better that she learn the truth now. But if he wanted more, it was time she seriously started rethinking her life.

Turning her head, Alice glanced at the digital clock. It read three-sixteen
A.M
.

A little over eight hours since she had sensed a complete change in Marcus.

He’d still invited her to his bed, and she’d gone, hoping he would repeat the same three words she’d said to him. Instead, he’d talked about an upcoming court case for an impaired driver—like Alice cared about that at that moment! And then when he’d turned off the bedside light, given her a peck on the lips and rolled onto his side with his back facing her, she’d known without a doubt that he’d dismissed her. Not only physically, but emotionally, which was far worse.

Lying on her back, Alice stared into the darkness of the room. Marcus’s back still faced her. Several times she’d been tempted to snake her arms around his waist and snuggle up to him, but how long was she going to be a fool? He wasn’t interested in more than a sexual relationship, and while she’d thought at one time that that would be enough, she knew now that she couldn’t settle.

Not even for Marcus Quinn.

It was all or nothing. It couldn’t be any other way.

The next morning, Alice crawled out of bed when Marcus was in the shower, slipped into one of his T-shirts, then made her way to the bathroom. It was like a steam bath when she stepped inside. She could barely see his naked form, so she knew there was no way he would see her through the sheer shower curtains.

She could wait until he was done in the shower,
but by then he’d be dressing and rushing out the door to work. She wanted to deal with this now.

“Marcus.”

“Jesus!” he exclaimed, clearly startled to hear her voice.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. But I…we need to talk.”

“Right now?”

“Yes, right now.” She closed her eyes and counted to five, gathering courage. Telling Marcus what was on her mind was going to be the hardest thing she’d ever done.

“Why are you shutting me out?” Alice asked.

“Alice, I’m trying to get ready for work here. Maybe we can talk when I get home.”

“No, Marcus. I can’t go on like this. I need to know. Now.”

“I’m not shutting you out.”

“Yes, you are. As soon as I told you I loved you yesterday, you turned into a different person. The same thing happened a few weeks ago after the first time we made love.”

“Alice, this really isn’t the time.”

“Do you love me?”

Marcus didn’t answer for several seconds, and Alice had to wonder if he’d heard the question. But she knew he had, and the fact that he didn’t answer right away told her more than she was ready to know.

“Do I love you?” he repeated. “What kind of love are you talking about? Friendship?”

Alice’s heart did a free fall to her stomach, but still she continued. “You know exactly what I’m talking about. The way a man loves a woman. Or
are you able to have sex with me and not feel anything at all?”

“I don’t see why we have to talk about this now.”

Alice took two steps forward and yanked the shower curtain back. Drops of hot water splashed her, but she didn’t care. She deliberately kept her eyes on his face, for looking any lower would be dangerous. “Damn it, Marcus. We’ve made love several times. Don’t you think it’s fair that you at least tell me how you feel?”