If You Want Me (19 page)

Get a grip!

She could sit here and fantasize about him all day, wonder what he looked like naked and dripping wet. But that would drive her crazy. Remembering that she held the receiver in her hand, Alice finally punched in Sara’s number in Los Angeles, praying her aunt was home. She made a silent promise to pay Marcus for the call when he took her back home.

She was. “Hello, Alice, sweetie. How are you?”

“Confused,” Alice admitted, her mind shifting from the man upstairs to what had happened at the party. She told Sara about the scrapbook, and how surprised she was. “I can’t believe she’s the same woman who told me that if I went to Hollywood, I should stay away for good.”

“I don’t think she ever meant that, Alice.”

“Then why say something so…final?”

“I don’t know, but what you’ve just told me proves something I’ve suspected for quite some time.”

“What?” Alice asked, suddenly intrigued.

“Oh, sweetheart, I don’t want to say anything if I’m wrong.”

“Aunt Sara…”

“Remember me telling you how disillusioned your uncle became in Hollywood? He always appeared strong, but the rejections got to him. He ulti
mately got hooked on sleeping pills, then alcohol. It nearly destroyed him. I think your mother was always afraid that the same demons that got hold of your uncle would get hold of you. She didn’t want to lose you, too. But deep down, she still loved you. I hope I’m making sense.”

“Aunt Sara, I know all this.” Her aunt had talked candidly with her about her uncle’s struggles while they lived together in Los Angeles.

“Yes, I know. But…Oh, you’re just going to have to discuss this with your mother one day. Let her tell you the truth.”

“What truth?”

“You’re going to have to talk to your mother.”

Alice wanted to question her aunt further. For the first time, she wondered if Aunt Sara knew more about her mother’s motives than she’d ever let on in the past. But Marcus appeared at the entrance to the living room, clad in a Chicago Police T-shirt and gray shorts—and Alice stopped thinking altogether.

“Aunt Sara, I’ve got to go.”

“Sweetie, I hope you and your mother can work this all out.”

“Thanks,” Alice said absentmindedly as she surreptitiously ran her gaze over Marcus’s muscular thighs, then his large bare feet. “Talk to you later.”

She replaced the receiver and stood. Marcus’s eyes swept over her, and her nipples hardened. Just one look and he could do that to her—make her tingle, make her…hot. Lord help her, how was she going to handle staying here with him?

She wanted to kiss him again.

“You hungry?” he asked.

Disappointment washed over her. Here she was
getting hot and bothered while Marcus was as cool as a carrot. “Not particularly,” she told him.
Unless being hungry for you counts.
“There was a lot of food at the party. But maybe you can show me my room.”

“All right.”

Marcus strolled out of the living room and Alice followed him. As she walked behind him up the stairs, she couldn’t help watching the way his firm butt moved beneath his shorts.

She was lusting after him! The realization shocked her, but also gave her relief. Lust was normal. And Marcus was certainly a gorgeous creature. It wouldn’t be normal if she didn’t look at him with some level of female appreciation.

Still, with visions of what his body looked like dancing around in her head, Alice couldn’t help thinking that this was going to be one long night.

It was time.

The decision was made as simply as that, though the decision itself had not been simple. After Marcus had dropped Alice home on Monday morning, she had seriously contemplated the pros and cons of actually living with him. In fact, she hadn’t returned to his house that night as planned, despite his expressed concern. She’d spent a restless night at his house, wondering if she was indeed doing the right thing.

But she had spent an even more restless five nights back at her mother’s house. Though she talked to Marcus every day and convinced him she was fine and could take care of herself, she couldn’t quite shake the feeling that whoever was trying to scare her might return to the house—and do something worse than leave an implied threat on her doorstep. But the final catalyst had come last night,
when there had been three phone calls with heavy breathing after an otherwise quiet week.

Foremost in Alice’s mind was the concern that she not let her emotions dictate her actions. And putting her emotions aside, she knew that moving in with Marcus was the best thing she could do to protect her family.

After last night, she knew now that she had no other choice.

She had to move out.

Alice lay under the covers, staring at the ceiling as she thought about the past week. In the five days since she’d been home, her mother had been anxious over the whole birthday gift fiasco. She worried every time Alice left the house. Alice had tried to assure her mother that the gift was a stupid prank—though she didn’t believe that herself—and had failed. The last thing Alice wanted to do was give her mother cause for a relapse with all this worry. In a way, she was touched, because her mother’s concern confirmed what Aunt Sara had said—that she cared a lot more than she was ready to let on.

Marie felt bad because the party had been her idea, but Alice had convinced her that the threat wasn’t her fault. And she also told her that despite what had happened, she appreciated the party. Marie had been right; facing the people who had once hurt her in some way had not only been therapeutic, it had reinforced for Alice how far she had come. And that people could change for the better.

Like Rosa, Marie was also concerned for Alice’s safety. And Alice was concerned for theirs. Maybe spending some time away would be the best thing
for everyone. She would miss them and the new closeness she felt with her sister and mother, but now that Mia was out of school she would see her three times a week at the theater anyway. And she could always visit everyone here.

Bottom line, and emotions aside, she had to keep her mother, Marie, and Mia safe. With her gone, the person who was threatening her wouldn’t have any reason to come back to the house.

Alice sat up, stretched, then yawned. A quick glance at the clock told her she’d awakened late this Saturday morning. She was still tired from a sleepless night, but hopefully with her decision made, she would finally find some peace.

The smell of fried eggs wafted through the house. The family was no doubt gathered for breakfast. In the last week, her mother had been going downstairs for breakfast instead of staying in bed, insisting that she needed to get moving again.

Alice slipped into a terrycloth robe and slippers, then headed downstairs to join them.

“The sleepyhead is awake.”

Alice made a playful face at Marie as she sauntered into the kitchen.

“Morning, Mother. Mia.” Alice pulled out a chair and joined everyone at the small kitchen table.

“Morning,” Mia and her mother replied in unison.

“How are you feeling?” Alice asked her mother.

“Much stronger. I told you I needed to start moving again. Get the blood pumping.”

Rosa did look better. She’d lost weight over the past weeks, but her skin had a healthier glow.

“Can we dig in?” Alice asked.

“Yeah, can we dig in?” Mia mimicked.

Alice looked at her niece. Mia gave her a smile and she smiled back. Marie might think differently, but what harm was there in Mia wanting to be like her?

“We were just waiting on you,” Marie replied.

Alice drew in a deep breath. Crispy bacon, scrambled eggs, potato fritters. When was the last time she’d had a breakfast like this? Too long. Over her years in Hollywood and in the weeks she’d prepared breakfasts for her mother, she’d opted for fruit or yogurt, and right now, her mouth watered at the sight before her.

Only her mother wouldn’t enjoy this. Rosa had two boiled eggs and fresh fruit on her plate.

Rosa graced the food, then everyone dug in.

“I have something to tell you,” Alice said after a few minutes. She looked at them each in turn. “I’m moving out.”

“What?” Rosa dropped her fork onto her plate. “What on earth for?”

“I’ve given this a lot of thought, and I think it’s best if I’m not around. My presence here is putting you in danger.”

Rosa looked confused. “I thought you said that gift was a stupid prank.”

“Yes,” Alice replied slowly, knowing her mother would make that argument. “But I’ve talked to Marcus about this, and he agrees. I shouldn’t take any chances.”

“So you’re gonna let this person get the best of you and run away?” Marie challenged.

“I’m not running away,” Alice said, giving her sister a pointed look.

“Where are you planning to stay?”

This was the hardest part. Both her mother and Marie knew how much she’d been in love with Marcus years ago. She doubted they’d believe her moving in with him was entirely about protecting them.

“Marcus suggested I stay with him. He’s a cop—”

“Marcus?”
Marie guffawed. “You’ve got to be joking.”

“Oh, Alice,” her mother said, her voice full of pity.

Anger filled her. “This is
not
what you think it is. High school was a long time ago.”

“Then what
is
this about?” Marie asked. “I saw the flowers he gave you for your birthday.
Roses.
Maybe there’s something you’re not telling us.”

“I already told you why I’m doing this.”

“You’ve been here all week, and nothing’s happened,” Marie countered.

“You’re wrong. Just last night, I got three hang-ups.” She looked at her mother. “This is about keeping you safe.”

Marie and Rosa exchanged glances, doubt passing between them.

“Do you have to go?” That was Mia, sweet little Mia, looking at her as though she were about to lose her best friend.

“Oh, Mia. I’m not going forever. And I’ll still be around. I’m going to see you at the theater, remember? I just have to make sure you guys are safe.”

Still, Mia frowned.

“Do you really think this is necessary?” Rosa asked, her eyes filled with worry.

“Yes. But hopefully it won’t be for long.”

“Hopefully not,” Marie said, giving Alice a soft smile.

“I’ll be back as soon as this is all resolved. I promise.”

“We’ll miss you,” Marie told her.

“Yeah, we’ll miss you,” Mia echoed.

And for the first time, Alice felt like a part of this family in a way she hadn’t since she’d been a small girl. Like she was loved and respected.

But mostly, loved.

After the day’s theater class, Alice went home, showered, changed, and packed her suitcase. She’d seen Marcus at the theater and had told him that she would be over later, so he was expecting her. But now that she stood on his front porch, her stomach fluttered with nervous energy. She’d thought this out and was convinced it was the right thing to do, so why was she so nervous at the prospect of actually moving in with him?

Because every time she was near Marcus, her emotions went haywire. She wanted him yet didn’t want him at the same time. Being around him made her confused.

Alice tugged on her hip-hugging skirt, but it edged back up her thighs. What the hell—she was already here, already dressed in a sexy tank top and skirt that said she wanted him. She may as well knock on the door.

She
liked
the way he looked at her with male appreciation. She wanted him to look at her like that again, make her feel beautiful. Wearing this outfit, she had no doubt that would happen.

She knocked, then waited, her heart in her throat.

“Hey.” Marcus’s eyes lit up when he saw her, then slowly took in the length of her body, from her face to her waist, over her thighs and down to her toes, then back up over her hips, lingering at her breasts before finally returning to her face. His gaze was so intense that she shuddered, then got hot between her thighs as if his hands had stroked and caressed her. No one else’s gaze had ever been able to do that to her.

“Hey, yourself.” Alice offered a small smile and tried to keep her eyes on his face, but he was topless, and as he continued to stare at her, she let her eyes wander over his body. He was strong and hard, like she knew he would be. He had a light dusting of curly black hair on his stomach that went lower, to his navel. Why was he half-dressed?

For the same reason she was so scantily clad?

“You gonna invite me in?” Alice asked, all too aware that Marcus’s eyes were still roaming over her entire body.

“Oh. Sure.”

Alice felt self-conscious as she stepped past him into the foyer of his home. Try as she might, she could dress the part of the sexy Desirée, but it was the timid Alice who crossed her arms over her chest in a last minute attempt to cover her breasts.

He closed the door and turned the lock, sensing her wariness. He frowned. “What’s wrong?”

For a moment, she didn’t know what to say. She was in Marcus’s home, alone with him, and he was shirtless, for God’s sake. Again, she looked at his magnificent chest. His dark brown skin gleamed beneath the shaft of sunlight streaming through the
window. Other than the small scar over his flat stomach, he was perfect.

Too perfect.

“God, I’m sorry.” She made a move toward the door, but he stepped in front of her.

“What’s the matter?”

Did he really have to ask? Was she the only one who felt a jolt every time they looked at each other?

She looked away. “Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.”

“We already talked about this.”

Finally, she met his eyes. But that wasn’t much safer than staring at his naked chest. She didn’t realize just how muscular he was until she’d seen him half-naked.

“Yes, we talked about this, but…” She shifted from one foot to the other, unable to concentrate. How could she, when he was half-naked? “Can you…uh, put on a shirt?”

He raised an eyebrow as he looked at her. “Bothers you that much?”

What was he trying to do, tempt her? She gulped, then forced a smile. “I’m wearing one. It’s only fair.”

Marcus grinned. “You could always take yours off.”

As he watched, her eyes widened in that deer look he loved. For all he knew, if Alice took her shirt off, he wouldn’t know what to do. It had been that long. Longer still since he’d actually felt the urge to make love, but being here with Alice, he couldn’t deny that that’s what he felt now.

He wanted Alice to take off her shirt and free her voluptuous breasts. He wanted to softly stroke them with his fingers, then with his tongue. He wanted to take a rock-hard nipple into his mouth…

Marcus took a deep breath.

It had been too long, he told himself. Way too long. He was a man, after all, and Alice was one hell of a woman. He’d have to be crazy or dead not to notice her, not to feel anything when she walked into the room.

“I’d prefer you put your shirt on,” she said softly. He almost asked if that was what she really wanted, because if she did, then why the hell had she shown up on his doorstep dressed in an outfit that was clearly meant to turn him on? But the fallacy in that thinking didn’t fail him. He was a cop after all, and knew better than that. Women today dressed how they pleased, and just because they wore provocative attire didn’t mean they wanted sex.

Besides, hadn’t he told himself he wouldn’t be influenced by another pretty face, another gorgeous body? So why was it that every time he stared at Alice, he found himself wanting to break his own promise?

Perhaps because she always looked at him the same way he looked at her—as though she liked what she saw. And the idea that she wanted him was one hell of a turn-on.

“Right,” he finally said in response to her comment. “Give me a moment. Let me take your suitcase.”

She passed it to him.

“Go ahead. Take a seat in the living room.”

“Sure,” she replied. Her bottom lip quivered slightly and she drew it between her teeth.

Marcus’s groin tightened at the sight and he made a hasty retreat. He’d seen other women’s lips tremble, but never had it seemed sexual until he’d
seen it on Alice. He wanted to sink his teeth into her bottom lip, make her surrender in his arms.

All this because her lip had slightly trembled. Man, was he that hard up or what?

Upstairs, he placed the suitcase in the spare bedroom, then slipped into a T-shirt. After a brief lecture to himself on the cons of getting involved with Alice, he made his way back downstairs.

Alice sat with her elbows resting on her knees, her face resting in the palms of her hands. Hearing him, she looked up and did that lip-quiver thing again. Though this time it resembled a smile. Once again, he marveled at how much she had changed. Alice Watson was sitting in his living room in a body-hugging black skirt and low-cut cherry-red tank top, looking very much like a diva.

Looking like she wanted him.

His self-lecture went out the window as he realized just how much he wanted her, too. It would be pure torture for her to stay here and keep his hands off her. Maybe if they got the lust thing out of the way…

Taking a seat beside her, he tried to keep things strictly business. “I’m glad you finally came over.”

“My mother and sister are really worried about me.” She turned to him and blew out a frazzled breath—and he couldn’t help noticing how her breasts rose and fell with the motion. She seemed oblivious to the effect she was having on him, so he forced his eyes back to her face and hoped to hell she hadn’t noticed his body’s reaction.

“I don’t want my mother worrying. Worrying can’t be good for her. I’d hoped that if I left they’d feel better, safer.”