If I Told You (27 page)

“Rhys,” I whisper.

He releases me and looks back at me. “Yes?” I see fear and worry reflect in his eyes.

“I’m sorry. I know my relationship with Flynn is unusual, and we do have some things to work out, but I want to be here, with you. I’m sorry if I’ve made you question my motives, but please understand, while he’s an important part of my life, you’re the one I’m choosing to be with romantically. Not him or anyone else.”

“Why does he call so much?”

“We had a little disagreement before I left. He just wants to talk about and I don’t.”

“Okay.” We embrace again. “Will you move in with me?”

Leaning my head on his shoulder, I think about trying to go back to that apartment with Flynn and acting like nothing changed. It’ll never work. It’s too broken. I could use a place to stay for a while, at least until I figure out my next steps, and Rhys is easy enough to handle for now.

“How about we try an extended stay? I’ll hang out for a few days and we’ll see how it goes. What do you think?”

“I’ll take it.”

As he pulls me close again, I close my eyes, wondering just what the fuck I’m doing.

Sitting in the living room, I look up when the front door opens and Brooklyn walks in. It’s been a week since I’ve seen her, and she takes my breath away. She’s tan from the beach and she looks fucking amazing. When her eyes meet mine, they fill with resolve, so I brace myself. This is it. She’s leaving.

“Hey,” I say.

“Hey.”

“How was your trip?”

“Good.”

“Awesome.”

She stands in the hallway, looking toward her room. “I’m staying with Rhys for a while.”

I feel like I just got punched in the balls. “Seriously?”

“For now.”

“He makes you happy?”

“Happy enough.”

“Great.”

“I’ll pay my share of rent until the lease is up.”

“I don’t need your money.”

“I know, but it’s my obligation.”

“Do whatever you want, Brooklyn.” I stand up and grab my jacket.

“Where are you going?”

I turn and glare at her. “I need to fuck somebody.”

She narrows her eyes. “I don’t care.”

“I know. You’ve made that clear.”

“Whatever.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

She stomps down the hall into her room, and I head for the door, pausing to look back. I thought a week away might show her how I feel, but Rhys won. I’ve lost her. I consider my options. Not yet. I walk down the hall, push her door open, and pull her into my arms.

“What are you doing?” she asks, struggling against me. “Let me go.”

“Not this time, Brooks.”

“Stop!”

“Look at me.” She turns her face away, but I grab her chin and force her to look back at me. “Brooks, look at me.”

“What, Flynn? What the fuck do you want?”

“You.”

“Too late. It’s too fucking late!”

“It’s not.” I hold her closer. “You’re still here. I’m here.”

“Let me go,” she murmurs, fighting much less.

“Brooklyn?” She looks up at me with her pretty eyes. “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you a long time ago how I really feel, but I didn’t know how.”

“I don’t want to hear this. I’ve made up my mind.”

“Are you in love with him?”

“I’m not answering that.”

“Tell me, dammit! I need to know.”

She averts her eyes for a moment before fixing them on me again. “Stop. Please.”

“I’ve had a lot of time to think about us. I didn’t know what changed. I didn’t know why I was so jealous of Rhys and why I hated you with him, but now I do. Brooklyn, you’re my best friend, but…” I take a deep breath. “Somehow I fell in love with you.”

Brooklyn stares at me blinking rapidly like she doesn’t understand what I just said. I lean down and kiss her but she doesn’t return my gesture.

“Brooks?”

“It’s too late,” she whispers. “It’s gone too far.”

“Why? You don’t have to go to Rhys. You don’t.”

She nods. “I don’t want to hurt him. He’s invested.”

“So?”

“So, I’m not willing to just toss him aside like I always do. He hasn’t done anything wrong.”

“Brooklyn, please. What about us? You have, what a few weeks of history with him, but we have years. You have to stay.”

“Stop!” She shoves me away. “I gave you so many chances, but you let me go. I flirted, I threw myself on you, but you couldn’t do it. I’m sorry, Flynn, but you were right all along. This is why we should’ve just stayed like we were. Now we’re hurting each other and that’s something I never wanted.” She crosses her arms. “I hope someday we can be like we were. We can smile when we see other and get a pizza and beer and talk about the people we’re with without jealousy. I miss you so much.”

She walks into her bathroom, closing the door, and I let her go. Again.

Sitting in the taxi, I stare out the window on my way to Rhys’s. Flynn’s in love with me, and I walked away. The words I’ve been waiting to hear, dying to hear, he just said and I still left. I just can’t figure out why. Right now, I need to get him out of my head and focus on Rhys. He deserves that much.

I ring the bell, and Rhys opens the door, offering a big smile. “Hi.”

“Hi.” He takes my suitcase, and I follow behind him, then plop down on the couch.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you tell Flynn?”

“I did.”

“And?”

My thoughts drift back to the tragic look on his face when I told him. “He’s fine with it.” God, if I was Pinocchio, my nose would be in New Jersey by now.

“Good. Did you resolve your disagreement?”

“I think so.” Ugh.

“Great. Then I guess we can talk about us.”

“I’d love to.” Shit.

Rhys sits next to me, and wraps his arm around my shoulder, so I lean back against him. “My normal schedule is pretty hectic. I usually take Sunday off. Sometimes a few days here and there if I don’t have any pressing reviews.”

“Okay. I usually take Sunday and Monday off, but I just randomly go in a lot, too.”

“So it sounds like we can count on Sunday together at least.”

“Yeah.”

“Perfect. How about I cook tonight? I’m sure I’m not as good as Flynn, but I do okay in the kitchen.”

“I’m not comparing you to Flynn.” Fuck. Another lie.

“I’m happy to hear that.” He kisses my cheek. “If you need anything at all, just let me know. I want you to feel comfortable here. Like it’s your home.” He smiles. “Because it is.”

“Thank you. I’m sure I’ll love it…” My voice cracks, and I smile. “I’m sure it’ll be great.”

“Me too. What do you want to do now?”

“Maybe I’ll just unpack a little.”

“Great. I’m gonna work on my article from the conference.”

“Alright.” Standing, I walk over and step outside on the balcony, looking out at the cloud covered sky just as it starts to rain. The cold drops hit my face, mixing with the warm tears that suddenly fill my eyes.

Oh, Flynn.

I step out of the shower, dreading going back to my real life. It’s been three days of living at Rhys’s house, but it still feels like vacation. Now, I have to go back to work. I don’t want to see Jill knowing she’s been sleeping with Flynn. I don’t want to see the smile in her eyes, the satisfaction on her face. I don’t want to hear her talk about him pretending it doesn’t hurt me.

I wipe away the steam on the mirror, staring at my reflection. I’m jealous, but living with another man. I am such a fucking hypocrite.

After I dress, I lean over Rhys and kiss his cheek. His eyes flicker open.

“Hey. Going to work?”

“I am. I need to check in. I’ll see you later?”

“For dinner.”

“Yep.”

“I left a key on the dining room table for you.” He reaches up and plays with a lock of my hair. “Have a good day, gorgeous.”

“You too.” I kiss his lips. “See you later.”

“Bye.”

After grabbing the key, I set off at a walk, then pause, realizing I’m across town from where I need to be. I continue my walk to the subway, then wait the few minutes I need before my train arrives. I definitely don’t like having a commute to work.