I Can't Die Alone (14 page)

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Regina is a contemporary romance writer from Kentucky. She lives there with her husband, dog, and cat. You can find her behind her computer, a good book, or watching sports. She loves to hear from her readers. Find out what’s coming next by following her Facebook page at: https://www.facebook.com/AuthReginaBartley?ref=hl 

Continue reading for an excerpt from Micalea Smeltzer's
When Stars Collide.

Holy mother of all hangovers.

I’d succumbed to the lure of Vegas and gotten completely wasted. Granted, that’s what everyone did in Las Vegas, but I like to think I
usually
have more sense than the social norm.

I rub my eyes and blink them open. The hotel room comes into formation around me. The walls are a warm golden color and the flat screen on the wall plays some home improvement show. I can see the bathroom from the bed—the tiled walls and large soaking tub.

I roll over onto my side, hoping I can sleep off the hangover, and reel back.

“Oh, my
God
,” I cry, flailing in bed.

My legs kick the sleeping guy beside me.

Not just
any
sleeping guy.

Oh, no.

Xander Kincaid, my brother’s
best friend
, lies in the bed beside me.

His dark hair tumbles over his forehead, and his cheeks are covered with several days’ worth of scruff. His chest is bare and … holy shit. He’s naked.

I look down.

Oh, God, I’m naked too.

“What’s wrong, baby?” he asks, reaching his left hand out to pull me closer to him. That’s when I see it.

“Is that a wedding band?
” I scream.

His eyes narrow. “You don’t fucking remember?”

I shake my head and look at my own hand. A thin silver band rests on my finger. “What did we do?”

He sits up in bed, and I try to ignore how adorably rumpled he looks with his hair sticking up.

Everything begins flooding back to me in quick bursts.

Drinks.

Kissing.

Laughter.

Confessions of love and desire.

A wedding chapel.

Vows.

Rings.

A contract.

“We’re married,” I whisper. “Holy shit.” It’s all I’ve ever wanted—to be with Xander—but not like this. Never like this. “My brother is going to kill us.”

Xander’s face contorts with …
is that irritation?

“Why does it matter what your brother thinks?”

I scoff. “Because he’s my brother and your best friend.”

Xander clenches his jaw and looks away.

I tumble from the bed and scour the floor for my clothes. I can feel his eyes on me, but I don’t dare look at him for fear of turning into a tomato. I find my dress and slip it over my head. Fuck a bra, I just need some clothes on.

I hold my hands out in front of me in a gesture of
I have this under contro
l when I definitely
don’t
have this under control.

“I’m sure we can just go back to the chapel and undo this. I mean, this is Vegas. If you can get married in a drive-thru you can get divorced too, right?”

“Divorced?”
He looks appalled that I’d suggest such a thing.

I laugh, but there’s no humor in the tone. “We can’t stay married.”

He shakes his head roughly and bunches the sheets in his hands. I nearly groan. His hands … his hands had felt like the best kind of sin when he touched me last night.

“Why not?” he asks, and I know him well enough to see that he’s straining to stay calm.

“Because it would be wrong.”
Doesn’t he know that?
“My brother—”

“Dammit, Thea,” he snaps and anger pulses in his dark gaze. “Leave your brother out of it. I’m talking about you and me.” He flicks a finger between the two of us, and his wedding band reflects the light pouring in from the open window. I can’t believe this is happening. This is the kind of thing you read about celebrities doing, not normal people like Xander and myself, but shit happens. His voice softens, and he looks at me tenderly. My stomach flips. It’s the same one he’s given me for years, the one that makes me yearn and ache for more, and now that I have it, I’m trying to throw it away. “There’s always been something between us. Don’t deny it.”

I swallow thickly, my pulse racing. “I know.” I sigh heavily. “But it’s not like you asked me on a date to see where things might go—we got
married
. Marriage is a big deal.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” He stands and I avert my gaze to the ceiling, even though I want nothing more than to check out his perfectly toned body from years of playing football. I can remember running my hands over his abs and grabbing his ass, crying out—

“Thea?”

Suddenly, he’s right in front of me, and I can see every amber fleck in his brown eyes.

He takes my face between his hands, and I know I shouldn’t let him touch me—my brain turns to mush any time he does—but I’m frozen to the ground. His intense gaze alone is enough to hold me captive.

“Why are you fighting this?” His breath is a tender caress against my face. He touches his lips tenderly to mine, and my traitorous body curves into his. His chest is still bare, and his skin is warm beneath my fingers. It’s soft like silk and I stroke my fingers against the dents in his stomach like I’m playing an instrument. He rests his forehead against mine and I fight to keep my composure. Xander’s kisses set my world afire and bring color to everything. “Why?” he asks again.

“This is a big deal; how can you not see that?” I defend and shove him away slightly. I can’t think straight with him so close. All my brain can focus on is his slightly woodsy scent and the feel of his lips against mine.

His dark brows knit together. “I know it’s a big deal—I don’t take marriage lightly, but…” He lifts his hands in a gesture of
I don’t know
. “You and I … There’s always been something between us. Some spark that we’ve both fought for so fucking long, and, Thea?” His shoulders sag. “I’m tired of fighting. Maybe this is fate’s way of finally bringing us together.”

“Fate?” I repeat in a whisper. “I didn’t know you believed in such a thing.”

He shrugs and lifts his hand to reach for me but lets it drop like he’s scared I’ll reject his touch. “I have to believe there’s some bigger reason for this,” he admits and looks down at the ring on his finger and then on mine. “Don’t you think?”

I look away. I can’t stand seeing the hope and yearning in his eyes. It’s killing me because I want him. I want this. I want an
us
. I’ve known Xander since I was in diapers. We grew up together and even though he’s my brother’s best friend, he’s always been my friend too. He stars in almost every memory of my childhood and as we’ve gotten older he’s always been there too. I’ve dated here and there and
always
compared the guy to him—which meant my relationships never lasted long because no one was ever as good as Xander.

Before I can reply, there’s a knock on the door and then the nob rattles. “Thea, get up. We have to get breakfast and leave. I can’t get Xander up. He probably found some hooker and is passed out in his bed. I’m going down to the lobby to see if they’ll give me a key to his room. You better be ready in thirty minutes,” my brother, Cade, says through the closed door.

My eyes, widened with horror, dart to Xander who stands there with an amused smile. I glare at him and mouth, “Hooker? Really?”

He knocks on the door again and says, “Are you up?”

“Yeah,” I call back with a shaky voice. “I’m up.”

Xander bites his lip to hold in his chuckle. I’m glad
someone
finds this amusing.

“Good,” he says through the door. “Thirty minutes.”

I hold my breath and listen to the sounds of his feet against the floor heading away. I sag in relief and Xander busts out laughing. My arm snaps out, and I smack my hand against his stomach, which only makes him roar with more laughter.

“You better grab your clothes and get back to your room before my brother discovers you’re not in there.”

He shrugs. “Let him.”

I throw my hands up. “How can you be so blasé about this? I
know
my brother has threatened you numerous times about coming anywhere near me.”

He picks his shirt up off the floor and tugs it on. “I’m not going to let your brother keep me from what I want, and I want you,” he says huskily, his eyes lingering on my lips.

The way he stares at me makes me feel like a small frightened animal backed into a corner by the big bad wolf.

“We have to ditch him on the way to the airport,” I say suddenly. “We have to find the church we got married in and see if they can undo this.”

Xander’s jaw clenches and he looks away. I know I’ve made him mad because I’m not willing to accept this is our fate. I’m not going to lie, I’ve dreamed of marrying Xander on more than one occasion. It was all I hoped for as a little girl when he was the dark-haired boy across the street who shared his animal crackers with me and carried me home when I fell off my bike. But I
never
imagined it would be like this—that I would barely even remember it.

“Whatever you want,” he mumbles, not meeting my gaze.

I stand frozen and watch as he grabs his phone and slips his jeans on over his boxer-briefs. He pauses at the door and I expect him to look back and say something,
anything
, but he leaves. I can’t say I blame him.

***

I take a quick shower, washing the scent of Xander’s body from mine in case Cade can sniff it out like a bloodhound. I feel sick to my stomach that Xander walked out of my room with things still unresolved between us, but I can’t see why he doesn’t see the issue. I’m
nineteen
. I only have one year at college under my belt, and beyond that, I have no clue what I want to do with my life. A marriage makes things even more complicated.

I dress comfortably in a pair of black leggings and a loose gray tank top. I twist my long hair back into a sloppy ponytail and swipe some gloss on my lips. I pack my bags hastily, and I’m almost done when Cade reappears at my door, knocking loudly.

“I swear to God, Thea, if you’ve fallen back asleep—”

I groan and run to open the door. “I’m awake and ready. I’ll meet you in the lobby in five minutes.” I purposely position my body so that he can’t see in the room. It’s still a mess with evidence left behind that I don’t need him to see.

“Fine,” he groans. “I’ll be downstairs getting breakfast.”

I watch him retreat and then close the door.

Before I can make it back to my suitcase, there’s another knock on the door.

“Cade, I’m going to punch you in the face,” I seethe and swing the door open, ready to maim my big brother. “Oh, thank God. It’s you.” I step aside and let Xander back in the room.

“Do you need help with your bag?” he asks.

“I’m almost done packing.”

I hate the awkward tension hanging in the air between us. It’s
never
awkward with us, not like this, at least, and I hate it. When things get bad, I’m used to running to Xander and having him wrap his arms around me and tell me it’s going to be okay, but not this time.

“I’ll wait.” He gives me a slight smile and I know he feels the tension too.

I finish packing and Xander paces around the room, looking to make sure he hasn’t left anything behind in here. There are a few condoms scattered on the floor—let’s just say we were making up for a heck of a lot of lost time last night—and he picks them up to throw them away.

“Shit,” he curses, and I look up from the blouse I was packing away.

“What?” I ask and his silence scares me. “Xander?” I prompt.

“This one’s broken,” he mumbles, nodding at the condom he holds.

“What?” I say again. “No.”

“Thea—”

“I’m going to be sick,” I cry, and run for the toilet. I collapse in front of it and heave up everything in my stomach—which isn’t much.

Xander’s hand touches my back and I flinch. His hand falls away and I can hear him running water in a sink.

I can barely handle the thought of us being
married
, but if I’m pregnant too? There’s no hiding a baby.

I sit on the cold tile floor and lean my back against the wall. Xander kneels in front of me and wipes my mouth with a washcloth. His dark eyes are full of worry but he doesn’t say anything. There’s nothing he can say.

He helps me up and I brush my teeth. He disappears into the bedroom, and when I emerge from the bathroom, I see that he’s finished packing my bag for me and waits by the door.

We’re both silent as we head next door to his room so he can grab his suitcase. I wait in the hall, fighting tears.

When he comes back into the hall, wheeling his black suitcase behind him, my chin wobbles.

“Thea,” he says softly, almost pained sounding. “Please don’t cry.”

“I’m scared,” I confess, my voice barely a whisper.

He lets go of his suitcase and pulls me into his arms.

His arms.

My safe place.

I only let myself linger in his arms for a few second before I force myself away and wipe the tear from my cheek. I won’t let this get to me.

“When we go to leave, follow my lead,” he tells me. “Okay?”

I nod.

Xander will take care of this. He’ll fix it. That’s what he’s good at.

The walk down the hall to the elevator seems endless. He reaches out to push the button to call it to our floor and my hand flies out, grabbing his wrist. “The
rings
,” I hiss. I completely forgot about them. I hastily rip off mine and go to stuff it in my bag but Xander swipes it from my hand. “Hey,” I protest.

“I can’t trust you with this,” he whispers gruffly. “You might throw it away.”

“I wouldn’t—”

“I’ll hold onto it, for now.” He takes his off and shoves both deep into his pocket. I should be relieved to be rid of the ring, to not even have it in my possession, but I feel slightly empty inside.