I Am Yours (Heartbeat #3) (8 page)

“Katie, how did I get over here?” A feeling of dread sweeps over me. I don’t remember walking across the room.

“What do you mean?” Her eyes widen as she gets to her feet. We don’t know if we’re still being overheard, so she continues to whisper. “You were holding me when Kelly called your phone. It gave off this really weird ringtone. It was shrill like a high-pitched whistle or something. Your eyes glossed over and you just let go of me.”

“Katie, I don’t remember any of that.” I feel like a jerk for still being naked in front of her. Frazzled, I turn around and hurriedly start getting dressed. I’m mad at myself for hurting her. It wasn’t supposed to end like this. I wanted her to punish me, not the other way around.

“That’s it.” A spark of anger crosses Katie’s face as she marches forward, flinging open the door.

But there’s no one there; Kelly’s already gone.

Chapter Fifteen
Katie

“Kelly?” I storm out of the room. Where did she go? I don’t even wait for Adam. I keep going. Something’s definitely not right here. I can feel it in my gut. Who was she talking to? I need to know, and I need to know now.

Determined to find her, I open and close the doors on the second floor, searching every room, even peeking into closets, but she’s nowhere to be found. It’s like she disappeared into thin air. The staircase is made out of oak. There’s no doubt I would’ve heard her footsteps if she’d have tromped downstairs in a hurry.

I’m just about to descend when I catch Adam sitting on my bed, his head in his hands. I can’t leave him like this. Yeah, my lower back is going to be bruised and sore for a couple days, but I did a lot worse to him. I scratched him so hard; I drew blood. Even after he heals, he might have a scar. I can’t believe I did that to him. I feel like such a monster. He encouraged me, but I should’ve resisted. I was just so mad at him that I welcomed his invitation to lash out. Unfortunately, I didn’t need much provocation.

But if what he said is true, that he was thinking of me the whole time he was having sex with Kelly, then that’s really messed up. Why is he so fixated on me and why am I so obsessed with him? He thinks we met before, but we never did. I was never fighting for my life in any movie theater parking lot, no matter how much he insists I was. And why did my dreams about him start right around the time of my supposed car accident? The two events are inextricably linked, but how?

An idea flickers in the back of my mind, but I quickly dismiss it. It’s too horrible to imagine. But I can’t downplay what’s connecting us—the one factor we have in common. But could that person really be that cruel, that vindictive?

I feel dizzy as a cold sweat washes over my body. Rushing into my room, I collapse next to Adam, waiting for the ringing in my ears to subside. I throw myself on the bed and his head shoots up in alarm.

“Katie, what is it? Are you okay?” His hand is already at my forehead, smoothing back my hair.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. I just need a minute.” I blink my eyes to try to clear my vision. My breathing is shallow and the room seems to be spinning. I can’t faint. Not now.

“I must’ve knocked the wind out of you before,” he groans in frustration. “Katie, I’m so sorry. I’ll never forgive myself for dropping you like that.” His fingertips feel so nice against my skin that I begin to relax. But he needs to stop beating himself up for something that wasn’t even his fault.

“Adam, really, I’m fine.” I interlace my fingers with his and start to sit up. He watches me warily like I’m a porcelain doll that might break under his featherweight touch. He has to learn that I’m a lot more durable than he thinks.

“Katie, I’m starting to believe what you told me is true, and frankly it scares the hell out of me.” His admission is telling. The demonstration of how selective his memory can be has him spooked, and for good reason. “What if you weren’t there that day? Whose body was that in my arms? Whose funeral did I go to?”

“Tell me more about the days immediately following the accident. Did you actually see me displayed in a coffin?” This is getting morbid, but we have to start sharing all of the details. We can’t overlook anything that might turn out to be important.

“It was a closed casket viewing. The family thought…” His voice cracks as if he’s being strangled. The effort it’s taking for him to maintain his composure is immense, but he keeps going. “They thought her body was too mangled.”

“Was there a photo accompanying the obituary? Can we look it up online?” My mind is whirling furiously, trying to come up with a way to prove I wasn’t involved.

“There was no photo,” he says blankly.

My heart jolts. This is getting stranger by the minute. “So you never physically saw me again until two days ago? Not even a picture?”

“No,” he admits, closing in on himself. “But I’d know you anywhere. I only saw you that one time, but your face has remained as clear as day in my dreams.”

“And when did your dreams start exactly? The night after the accident?” I press him even though he’s in a fragile state. We’ll be leaving the Outer Banks soon, and I might not have another opportunity to talk to him like this.

“I’m not sure.” The strain is getting to him now as he rubs his forehead with his fingers like it’s hurting him to remember.

“Were you having them when Brian and Kelly came to stay with you?” I press, needing him to help me pin down some sort of timeline. It might be just the breakthrough we’re looking for.

“I was drinking heavily then. Those weeks in between the accident and their visit are like a blur. That’s why they made the trip—to help me stay sober. I know I was definitely dreaming about you while they were there.” He looks up at me hopefully despite the haggardness that has settled over his appearance.

“How do you know?” It seems like a relevant point if he’s so adamant about it.

“Because that’s why I started drinking with Kelly when Brian was away. I had another nightmare and I wanted to forget.” He averts my gaze, knowing the consequences of what happened as a result of their being intoxicated.

“But you can’t be certain that you weren’t already dreaming of me before they arrived?” Even a little doubt on this topic can go a long way. I hold my breath, waiting for his answer.

“No.” His response is dejected but firm.

I’m just about to give up when inspiration strikes. “Can I see your phone?”

“Yeah, sure.” He slips it out of his pocket, handing it to me without asking why.

I scroll through the list marked ’recents,’ but there’s no record of Kelly’s call. I keep going down and there’s nothing for the one she placed this morning either. How is this possible if we heard his phone ring on both occasions? Or at least I did. The first time he awoke from a dream. The second time he went into a trance. But the calls should be on the list; phones don’t lie.

“Adam, Kelly’s calls aren’t even listed. It’s like they never happened.” I can’t keep the anxiety out of my voice. I’m starting to freak out.

“What? That’s impossible.” He taps the screen, searching in vain. “But how…?”

I nearly jump out of my skin when there’s a knock at the door. “Hey, you two lovebirds, is it okay for me to come in? I hope everything’s okay in there. Did you kiss and make up?”

Shit, it’s Kelly.

Shoving his phone into the pocket of his shorts, Adam barely has time to conceal it before Kelly saunters into the room. Crap. Why did I unlock the door when I heard her talking on the phone? I should’ve kept it locked.

“So did you ask her?” Kelly watches me expectantly, but her questions are directed at Adam. “Ugh…you didn’t, did you?”

“Adam, what is she talking about?” I arch an eyebrow at him, letting him know I’m upset about whatever secret she’s referring to. This isn’t going to work if he keeps hiding things from me, especially where Kelly’s involved. He has to realize that.

“Ummm…” He’s trying to buy some time, but he doesn’t anticipate Kelly’s eagerness to spill the beans.

“To come live with us, silly!” Kelly claps her hands in excitement, like it’s the best thing ever.

“What do you mean
us
?” My stomach is in knots, seeing where this is headed. I clutch my side as if to protect myself from what she’s about to say.

“Adam and I are moving in together, and we want you to come and stay with us.” Kelly rushes forward, grabbing my hands, pulling me to my feet. She smothers me in her embrace but I don’t hug her back. I’m like a wooden board in her arms. Stunned, she draws back in disbelief, feeling my resistance. “Don’t you want to help me get ready for the baby?”

“You can’t be serious?” I whirl around and confront Adam. This can’t be happening. Can he really be that gullible? Or is she like catnip to him that he just can’t resist?

“She has nowhere else to go,” Adam mumbles, dropping his eyes from my face when he sees how angry I am. “I am the baby’s father. What would you have me do, leave her with nowhere else to go?”

“Katie, calm down. It’s only temporary until I can get back on my feet.” Kelly starts rubbing my back, trying to reassure me. “I can’t go looking for a new apartment when I’m in the final trimester of my pregnancy. My doctor wants me to take it easy. Adam is just helping me out for the time being. That’s all. It’s not like we’ll be hooking up or anything.”

Just hearing her say those words makes me cringe. Does she intend to steal Adam out from under me? Why is she going out of her way to insert herself into his life? I thought she was content with having him as the pseudo-uncle. Now it seems like she’s going for the whole shebang, moving in and having Adam fulfill his role as the baby’s father. She’s systematically shutting me out while appearing to invite me in.

Adam’s eyes dart to mine at her casual mention of their sexual history. He’s addressing her, but I know he’s speaking directly to me when he says, “Kelly, there’s no way in hell we’ll be hooking up again.”

“Oh, of course not, Adam. I was just fooling around.” Kelly shakes her head like we’re being impossible. “Can’t you take a joke?”

“Not when your baby bump is staring me in the face.” I can see she’s visibly shocked by the vigor of my retort. She’s not used to me talking back to her.

“Katie, I know this is going to be a sticky situation for all of us, but I know we’ll get past the awkwardness.” She rests her hands against her stomach, aggravating me even more. “I love you too much not to work through this. That’s why I want you to stay with us. It’s obvious that you don’t trust me around Adam, and I want to alleviate your fears by having you right there with us under the same roof. That way, what could go wrong?”

“Do you really want me to answer that question?” I stare up at her like she’s crazy. When did we suddenly become this big happy family?

“If you don’t think it’s a good idea…” Adam starts, but I don’t let him finish.

“I don’t, but we’re not exactly left with a lot of options now, are we?” I twist my fingers through my hair, trying to think rationally. “Kelly needs somewhere to crash, and I want you in my life. We’re going to have to make it work. I just don’t know how I’m going to convince my father.”

“We’ll keep the story the same. We’ll just leave Adam out of it.” Kelly seems to have it all figured out, and that’s what worries me. “Let me take care of your father. I’m sure I can handle the old brute.”

“What…and I can’t?” Again, I snap at Kelly. I’m usually meek and mild and let her walk all over me. She’s not used to the antagonism that’s coming from me. Maybe I’m sick of trying to hide it. It’s about time I let my true feelings show. If Adam’s unexpected appearance in my life has taught me anything, it’s taught me that. He’s someone worth fighting for.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” Kelly huffs like she’s put out and wants me to apologize to her. God, she sure doesn’t lack for nerve.

I take a deep breath to settle my emotions, but it doesn’t work. I feel lightheaded again. I need to sit down. I try to make it back to the bed, but my knees give way before I can get there. I brace myself against my impending fall, but it’s Adam who saves me from face-planting onto the floor. He has me in his arms with no intention of letting me go.

“Oh my God, Katie! Are you all right?” Kelly screeches, and I just bury my head deeper against Adam’s chest, trying to tune her out.

“Kelly, I think you should leave. You’re only upsetting her more.” Adam strokes my hair, comforting me. “She had a rough day as it is. We can talk about this later.”

“Yeah, there are things you should know about her health…” Kelly words eat through me and I clench Adam’s shirt with my fist. If anyone’s going to tell him about it, it’s going to be me, not her.

“I said later.” His hand closes around mine, indicating he understood my silent plea. When he picks me up, I cling to him as he quickly escorts Kelly to the door, practically shoving her through it.

“Well, if you need anything, I’ll be right downstairs.” I don’t even hear everything she says because Adam’s already closed and locked the door.

Carrying me back to the bed, he carefully sets me down before sliding in beside me. I’m glad he’s staying. I feel so tired all of sudden, so completely drained. I don’t think I’m going to be able to keep my eyes open much longer.

“Adam, I have something called an immune deficiency disorder…” I start to explain, yawning halfway through.

“You can tell me more about it later, okay?” he whispers softly against my ear. “You’re exhausted. Get some sleep. I know you’re dealing with some health issues, but I just want you to know that if you come and stay with me, I’ll do everything in my power to take care of you.”

And those are the words I’ve been longing for someone to say to me all of my life, even before he entered my dreams. I know that I shouldn’t give my heart away so quickly, so easily. But I think I already have.

Chapter Sixteen
Jada

“How can you stand putting up with traffic like that on a daily basis?” I enter Brian’s apartment, throwing my bags on his hardwood floor.

“What, the Schuylkill? Honey, you gotta suck it up if you’re gonna handle all that Philly has to offer.” Brian puts his hands on my shoulders, ushering me forward. “You’re getting too used to the boondocks. It’s about time you freed yourself from my brother’s evil influence.”

“Well, you can relax because I’m only here for the night.” I could swear his face drops when I turn around to meet his eyes, but I don’t want to read into the implications of that. “Besides, I can’t wait to root through this dive of yours for some clues.”

“Hey, what are you calling a dive?” Brian’s expression lightens and he grins as I take in the ninety-inch flat screen TV and black leather sofa. “Keep your ransacking to a minimum because I don’t know when she’s coming to haul away her shit. We can’t tip her off that we were snooping through her things.” He lets go of my shoulders and I instantly miss the warmth of his hands. I shudder, trying to shake off the feeling. This is Brian, not Adam. Wrong O’Malley brother, stupid hormones. It scares me how easily my body responds to his touch, even if my heart doesn’t. I can’t let myself get confused. I have to stay focused. I’m here to do a job, not have angry revenge sex with Adam’s brother, no matter how hot and crazy it might be.

“So where should we start?” I’m already wandering down the hall when he calls me back.

“Jada, we just completed a ten-hour drive. Can’t it wait until tomorrow?” He yawns as if to emphasize how tired he is. But I’m on edge; I want to get moving on this.

“Fine, go to sleep. No one’s stopping you.” I shrug my shoulders moodily, and he groans, slipping off his shoes before heading into the kitchen. “Brian, all I need you to do is point me in the right direction,” I insist as he reaches into the fridge and pops open a can of Red Bull before handing it to me. He lines up three more on the counter in front of him and begins downing them one by one. “Brian, stop! You’re going to give yourself a heart attack.”

He wipes his lips with the back of his arm, and for some reason I can’t stop staring at his mouth. “What? They’re the small cans. I’ve done this before. How else do you expect me to stay awake?”

“I told you. Go to bed.” I immediately regret my choice of words.

“Oh, baby. I love hearing you order me around. Yell at me again, only this time slap my ass while you’re doing it.” Brian takes a step closer and I playfully push him away.

“Back off. You know what I meant,” I respond sarcastically, trying to block out the sensation of his chest heaving beneath my fingertips.

“You’re such a tease, Jada Martin. No wonder you drove my brother insane.” He shakes his head as if he can’t figure me out.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Okay, now I’m pissed.

“You like to lead guys on but you never follow through, do you?” I don’t like the way he’s appraising me.

“Sorry to disappoint, but I’m not some little slut like…” I’m about to say Kelly’s name, but he turns on the faucet to rinse out the cans, effectively drowning out my voice.

“I’m not saying you should be someone you’re not, but I think you should stop holding yourself back from the things you want to do.” He doesn’t look at me while he’s talking, and the magnitude of what he’s implying unnerves me more than I care to admit.

“What things?” I know I’m not going to like what he’s about to say, but my curiosity wins out.

“I don’t know. Maybe like making a move on a guy or something along those lines. I never saw a girl as tightly wound as you are.” He moves to face me again, a glimmer in his eye. “Jada, you really need to get laid.”

“And you’re just the guy for the job, huh?” I’m offended and turned on, all at the same time.

“I could be.” He strides toward me and my breath hitches. I think he’s going to kiss me, but instead he keeps going, slightly brushing my shoulder with his as he walks by. “C’mon, we have work to do.”

“Now who’s the tease?” I smirk, realizing that he’s the one who doesn’t have the guts to make the first move, not me.

“Oh, if I thought you could handle a night of meaningless sex, I’d be right up on you. But I don’t think that’s your style.” The look he’s giving me now is making me vulnerable, like I’m an open book to him or something. He doesn’t know me. He can make all the assumptions he wants. So what if he happens to be right?

“Maybe I do need a little distraction after putting my trust in the wrong person. Aren’t you and I in the same boat? At least, I’m not the one who almost married—” In four steps, he’s at my side, placing his hand over my mouth before I can finish.

“Jada, you’re hurting. I’m hurting. Now is not the time. No matter how much we want to get back at them for what they did.” He slowly lowers his hand, letting his thumb trail across my lips. “If something ever does happen between us, I want you to be thinking of me and only me, and not my lousy brother.”

“Brian, I…” I stumble over my words as he removes his hand from my face. There’s so much I want to say but can’t.

“It’s all right, Jada. If what we fear turns out to be true, there’s going to be a lot of people finding out they were manipulated. Once everything’s out in the open, lives are going change. We’ll all be questioning what we really want. But until everybody’s on the same page, I don’t think it’s fair to either of us if we pursue something now, do you?” His hand returns to my face, cupping my cheek. It’s like he doesn’t mean to pressure me with his touch, but now that he’s had a taste, he can’t keep his hands to himself. He’s cautioning me about restraint, but he’s the one who seems unable to resist giving in to these urges.

“You’re right. I’m not over Adam.” His hand slowly starts to pull away. “I’ll probably never be over him. He’ll always be the one who got away, the one I’ll always be wondering…what if?” His hand lingers in my hair, his fingers buried beneath my curls. “We’re both just lonely and scared about what’s going to happen. You were going to get married. I was going to sleep with Adam. It’s a lot to process.”

I sound so cold, so clinical. No wonder he sighs before releasing me. Maybe I do lead guys on then stop them dead in their tracks once they get too close. I’ve never really thought about it. I guess it’s hard for me to trust any male figure in my life after my jerk of a dad abandoned me. Somewhere deep inside I feel that, given the chance, why would any guy stay with me? That’s why I pushed Jason, my ex-boyfriend, away. I wanted to be the one to end it, not him.

It’s scary to think how meeting someone new is making me question how I view a potential relationship. Brian’s forcing me to look at things in a way I never have before, and I don’t like what I see. Do I really have so many barriers around myself—ones I didn’t even realize existed? Am I that inaccessible when it comes to forming an emotional connection? I hate to think that I’m the type of girl who plays games by stringing guys along.

But I didn’t feel like that with Adam. I thought we were moving toward something special. Yeah, it was tough, but all of the breakthroughs we experienced have to count for something. I can’t throw away everything we shared just because I’m horny and upset. Brian’s doing and saying all of the right things to get in my pants because he’s as lost as I am. He must believe that Adam cares about me on some level, or else why would he be trying so hard to sleep with me? It’d be the ultimate ’fuck you’ to his brother. If he found out, Adam would probably never want to look at me again. I’d be no better than Kelly in his eyes, tainted by my association with Brian.

I have to hold out hope that somehow I can withstand Brian’s charms so we can uncover what’s really going on here. Because that’s what really important—setting Adam free from a situation that’s almost too horrible to imagine. One I never thought was possible until I started talking to Brian. His knowledge of Kelly’s work and the behavior I witnessed from Adam are all blending together, forming the perfect storm. If Brian and I had never met, I doubt that anyone else would’ve connected the dots. For whatever reason, he found me crying on top of Adam’s Neon, and now we might finally be able to set things right.

“Let’s start in her home office. I know her computer is password protected, but she has a shitload of files in her drawer we can comb through.” Brian’s all business now as he abruptly changes the subject. The minute I mentioned Adam’s name, it was like he switched gears. Does he feel guilty about wanting to have sex with me just to get back at Adam? Or is he totally over Kelly and bummed that I’m still into his brother? He doesn’t seem like the sentimental type. If anything, he’s driven by ego. And there’s no way in hell I’m going to let myself be turned into the prize of some sibling rivalry showdown between the two of them. Because I know I’ll be the one left with nothing, the loser no matter who wins.

We move single file down the narrow hallway and into the first room on the left. Brian flicks on the light, and the level of organization surrounding us boggles my mind. Everything is in its place. There’s not a paperclip out of alignment. Talk about having obsessive-compulsive disorder. This chick is nuts.

“Now I know what you mean about not touching anything.” I laugh to cover my unease. “How are we even gonna get to the paperwork? There’s a lock on every single drawer in the filing cabinet.”

“Already taken care of.” He grabs a sealed bag off the bookshelf and begins rustling it. Within seconds, a cat charges into the room. “This is Freud, Kelly’s pride and joy. Take a look at his collar.”

“Are those keys?” I can hardly believe what I’m seeing, feeling like I’ve walked into a spy novel. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“I can never get around this little guy when Kelly’s home. He always hisses and scratches the heck out of me. It took me a while, but I finally learned his weakness—Friskies Party Mix.” He removes a treat from the bag, and Freud gobbles it up. Brian lures him closer until he’s able to scoop him up in his arms. “Help me, Jada. This is when he starts to freak out.” And sure enough, Freud starts wiggling and squirming so much that Brian almost drops him. “Hold on to his paws so I can get his collar off.”

Freud’s nails dig into my hand, but I don’t let go until Brian unfastens the buckle and the keys thump to the floor. Brian nods and we release our furry captive, who tears out of the room with a snarl. Thank goodness cats can’t talk.

“You have no idea how many times I’ve tried to do that and failed.” Brian exhales loudly while examining the claw marks on my hand. “I’m sorry you had to bear the brunt of it.”

“It’s all for a good cause, right?” I smile at him weakly.

“Would you like to do the honors?” He nods in the direction of the fallen keys.

“I’d love to.” Bending over, I snatch them up. “Hey, how are we going to get these back on Freud?”

“We’ll figure that out later,” he says with a grimace.

It takes me three tries before the correct key slides into the lock on the top drawer. I pull it open, but nothing really stands out. The files seem to be labeled in alphabetical order, but topics range from patient names to psychological disorders.

“Do you know what it is we’re searching for? Otherwise, we’re gonna be here all night.” I groan, stepping back to reassess the situation.

He moves in front of me and begins flipping through the files like he knows exactly what he’s after. Yanking a thick folder secured by a rubber band, he withdraws a photograph. “Jada, I want you to take a good look at this guy.”

I lean forward to examine it more closely. It’s an image of quite a handsome man who, judging by his slightly graying hair, is probably in his late forties or early fifties. His chocolate brown eyes are nothing short of magnetic, and his smile is confident, dazzling even. He’s dressed in a crisp white shirt and a tailored black jacket, the light hitting him just right. I have to give the dude credit; he takes one hell of a picture.

“Who is he? He looks like a freaking movie star.” There’s a note of awe in my voice, but I can’t help it. The guy is gorgeous.

Brian’s eyes never waver from my face. “You think so?”

“Now don’t get all bent out of shape…” I start to explain, but he doesn’t want to hear it.

“I’m not. I’m just disgusted that even you, of all people, are taken in by him,” he mutters disapprovingly.

“What? Can’t I comment on a good-looking guy when I see one?” I exhale loudly in frustration. “Am I supposed to be immune?”

“I wish you were,” he grumbles, tossing the photo aside.

“Watch it, Brian. You’re going to mess up the stuff on her desk and I’m not sure where everything goes.” Hurriedly, I rush over, trying to reposition a line of color-coded sticky notes.

“Honestly, I really don’t care at this point. Because that man…” He pauses, swallowing hard.

“Yeah?” I prod, but I’m not going to lie. I’m afraid to push him.

“I think he’s the father of Kelly’s baby.”