I Am Yours (Heartbeat #3) (16 page)

Chapter Twenty-Three
Adam

“What the fuck is going on with them?” I growl hotly in Katie’s ear as I watch Brian and Jada wait in line at the deli counter. They’re giggling and whispering and touching each other.

I don’t like it—not one bit.

“I don’t know. Maybe she’s trying to ease the tension. I mean, this is the first time you’re coming face to face with your brother since the wedding.” Katie twirls her straw, trying to downplay what I’m witnessing.

“We have a lot to talk about. You’d think they’d hurry up,” I seethe that Brian can’t decide what kind of sandwich to order.

“I’m not sure they’re going to like what we have to say anyway,” she warns, shooting me a pointed look.

“What? That they were right?” I smirk. “Who doesn’t like to hear that?”

“No, I was thinking more along the lines of how your feelings for Jada are real.” She bites her lip, gathering her courage. “You have to tell her, Adam. Before it’s too late.”

“What are you implying? That she and Brian…?” My gaze snaps back to them as Jada cries out when Brian tickles her ribs.

“They’ve been around each other a lot lately. It’s only natural that…” Katie’s assumptions are grating on my nerves.

“Don’t.” I hold up my hand. “Just, don’t.”

“But what if she’s finally starting to get over you? Are you really sure she’s what you want? Because if you’re not a hundred percent certain, you can’t keep hurting her if she has the chance to move on with someone else.” Katie grabs my wrist, willing me to listen. “Even if the guy who makes her happy just so happens to be your brother.”

“I have to let her know where I stand,” I insist, wrapping my fingers around hers. “Or I’ll be kicking myself from here to eternity.”

“But what if you end up causing even more damage?” She strokes my wrist with her thumb. “What if she breaks it off with Brian and then things don’t work out with you? You’re not exactly known for being faithful.”

“But that was before,” I mutter.

“Before what?” she presses.

“Before you.” And that effectively drives a wedge between us. Yeah, she knows the fantasy version of her I was force-fed by Savoy is what led me down this path of destruction. But hearing me throw it back in her face gives her reason to pause as she lets her hand slip out of mine.

“Do what you have to do then,” she says blankly, pretending to wipe a few stray crumbs off the table.

“Katie, I have to at least give it a shot.” I realize that I’m pleading with her to back me up even though I’m not sure how she feels about me anymore. Everything is so screwed up.

“And what about Brian?” she asks pointedly. “You’re just going to take away another woman he cares about? With time, he’ll probably get over what you did with Kelly, but he’ll never forgive you for stealing Jada.”

“But why? It doesn’t make sense. He dated Kelly for years. He’s only known Jada a few days.” My mind is spinning, trying to untangle her logic.

“I never saw Brian look at Kelly the way he’s looking at Jada.” Katie scoots her chair closer. “I’ve never seen him so animated or carefree. It’s like he lights up when she’s around. He was always so forlorn with Kelly, like she was draining the life out of him. Now, he actually seems happy. Are you willing to take Jada away from him, just because you can?”

I scratch the top of my head and sit back. That’s some weighty stuff Katie just dumped in my lap. How can I possibly act natural around them now? My stomach drops when I see Brian and Jada grab their trays and approach our table.

“Sorry, bro. You know how I am when it comes to food. I can never make up my mind. Luckily, I had someone to help me out.” Brian gives Jada a wink, making her dimples appear. It guts me inside, knowing that I want to be the one who makes her smile, not him.

“Looks like you have ketchup or something on your shirt,” Katie remarks, pointing at Brian. “Do you need a napkin? I have plenty.” She hands him one and he bats at the red stain, but it’s not ketchup. It’s lipstick—the exact shade Jada’s wearing.

“Oh man, I wonder how that happened?” Brian nudges Jada’s leg, and she ducks her head, a grin appearing at the corners of her mouth.

“You’re not drinking again, are you?” All eyes turn to Katie as she drops a bombshell. What the heck is she doing?

“No, of course not,” Brian protests, annoyed by her accusation. “It’s eleven thirty in the morning.”

“So that means you’ll be drinking later then?” Katie badgers him.

“I see you turned into quite the comedian from hanging around my brother,” Brian scoffs. “But there’s nothing funny about his sense of humor, Turner. You’d do good to remember that.”

“I just don’t want another O’Malley brother pulling the wool over Jada’s eyes. That’s all.” Katie crosses her arms, resting her elbows before her.

“Nobody’s been known to pull the wool over my eyes, thank you very much,” Jada retorts, unwrapping her sandwich. “What’s with the third degree, huh? I thought you had something important to tell us. That’s why we’re here, isn’t it?”

“We do.” I jump in, longing to say more. Jada’s attention is on me now and I want to keep it there.

“It’s just that I’ve seen firsthand how Brian can be, and I don’t want you getting mixed up in something you can’t handle.” But Katie’s a little spitfire, egging Jada on, not letting me get a word in edgewise.

“Oh, I can handle him, honey. Trust me.” Jada leans forward, almost in Katie’s face. “Just because your whore of a cousin couldn’t satisfy him—”

“All right, ladies. That’s enough,” I say, holding up my hands to separate them.

“Really? I kind of like having two women fight over me.” Brian chuckles.

“You’re such a perv.” Jada rolls her eyes before pinching his side.

“See, you can’t keep your hands off me.” He bends his head, on the point of kissing her, when I cough, clearing my throat. This is worse than I thought.

“Brian, are you going back to Philly today?” I puncture their conversation, steering the focus back to me.

“Jeez, bro. Way to be subtle.” He takes a bite of his sandwich. Chewing slowly, he ponders the question. “I might be. Why?”

“Can you give Katie a ride back to her father’s?” The request has its desired effect as they all turn to gape at me.

“Adam, we didn’t discuss this.” Katie’s eyes go wide.

“Yeah, dude. Isn’t she supposed to stay with you until…?” Brian asks, not wanting to mention the impending arrival of Kelly’s child.

“She was, but we found out that you were right. The baby’s not mine. It’s Savoy’s.” I don’t even guide him into these disclosures. I just keep spitting them out one after another. “Kelly’s gone, and I think it’s about time that Katie went home, too.”

“You’re telling me that I don’t even get a say in any of this?” The shock in Katie’s voice is palpable. “You’re kicking me out, just like that?”

“Adam, c’mon.” Jada cuts through the confusion, reprimanding me. “You can’t be serious.”

“Oh, but I am.” I zone out for a minute as the three of them gang up on me.

“I thought you were obsessed with Katie?” Brian asks.

“Please, think this through first,” Katie pleads.

“Outside, now,” Jada commands. “We need to talk.”

I was hoping she’d say that. I try to contain my grin as I push away from the table and follow her out the door. I can hear Katie and Brian arguing in the background, but I don’t even care.

“What do you think you’re doing, huh?” Jada wheels around, pinning me against the brick wall of the shopping complex. “Are you out of your freaking mind?”

“No, actually. For the first time, I think I’m seeing things clearly.” I reach out to touch her face, but she steps away from me. “Since we met, you’ve had to deal with the muddled version of me, but not anymore.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? Is Savoy done with his mind tricks? Is that it?” She’s looking at me with disgust—not exactly the reaction I was hoping for. “So now you’re through with Katie? Even your dream girl isn’t good enough for you?”

“That’s just it. She isn’t my dream girl. You are.” There, I finally said it.

“Stop it, Adam.” She glares at me.

“You are, Jada. It took me a while to come to my senses that you’re the one true thing in my life. You stuck by me when I was nothing more than a douchebag looking to get laid, but you still saw something in me. Something you liked.” I take a breath when I see her flinch. “Admit it, Jada. You wouldn’t have gone to all that trouble looking into Savoy if you still didn’t have feelings for me.”

“And what about Katie? Is she just another notch on your bedpost?” Her eyes radiate nothing but scorn and contempt. Of course she thinks I’m a jerk. Why wouldn’t she?

“I didn’t sleep with her, Jada, and I don’t plan on sleeping with her. I’m not in love with her, okay?” Convincing Jada is going to be a whole lot harder than I anticipated.

“You could’ve fooled me.” She pouts, and the fullness of her lips distracts me. “See, all you’re thinking about is sex, even now.”

“I’m…not,” I stutter unconvincingly.

“Yes, you are. I can see the way you’re looking at me. You don’t want me for me. You just want the conquest. I’m the one who got away. That’s all this is about, isn’t it?” She shakes her head, thinking she’s right.

“Jada, you mean so much more to me than that.” She sighs, but I carry on. “You’re my partner. You’re my friend. You had my back when no one else did. I know it took me a while to realize just how much you mean to me, but please tell me I’m not too late. Tell me there’s no one else.”

She eyes me as I drop to the ground and kneel before her. I’ll grovel at her feet if I have to. There’s no way I’m losing her, especially not to Brian.

“So that’s what’s bugging you.” She laughs, but there’s no warmth to it. “I should’ve known.”

“What?” I sneak a glance up at her, but it’s like she’s shut herself off from me. Her stance is guarded. Her eyes are cold.

“You’re pretty fucked up, you know that?” She regards me critically. “Adam, the whole ’wanting what your brother has’ thing is getting old. Maybe it’s time you grew up.”

“Jada, that’s not what this is about.” I tug on the hem of her shirt, urging her to believe me.

“It’s not?” She takes another step back. “You’re freaking delusional, you know that? Savoy will probably win the Nobel Prize for working with a nutcase like you.”

“Jada, he was messing with my mind, making me think I was in love with some girl he created. But she wasn’t real.” Jada starts shaking, but I keep going. “What you and I have, that’s real.”

“Adam, I don’t want to hear any more of this,” she protests as her voice begins to quiver, like she’s holding back her tears.

“Let me finish. I have to get this out.” She shuts her eyes tight like she’s in pain, but at least I know she’s listening. “Before the accident, I knew what it was like to be in a committed relationship. It wasn’t until Savoy started manipulating me that I turned to sex as a means of escape. It’s not who I am. I’m not really like that. I’m begging you to give me another chance. I promise the last thing I want to do is hurt you.”

“Yeah, well. You already did.” She turns on her heel and stomps away without looking back.

Shit. I pushed her too far.

“Where the hell is Jada going?” Brian storms out of the deli, striding up to me. “What the hell did you say to her to get her so upset?”

“I told her that I loved her.” Then, without any warning, I find myself lying sprawled on the pavement.

“You bother her again and I swear to God I’ll do more than just punch you in the face.” Brian scowls above me. “Stay the fuck away from her,” he warns before running after Jada, leaving me on the ground with nothing but a busted lip and a bruised ego.

Have I really lost Jada this time? She’ll never come back to me now, not with Brian chasing after her.

I’ve finally come to my senses, only to lose her.

Chapter Twenty-Four
Katie

I see Brian hit Adam and I hurriedly get up from the table. By the time I get out of the deli, Brian’s halfway across the parking lot and Adam’s slouched over on the pavement.

“You wanna tell me what happened?” I ask, helping Adam to sit up.

“About what you expected,” he grumbles, spitting blood onto the sidewalk.

“Do you want me to call an ambulance?” I mutter.

“Ha, ha, very funny.” He gets to his feet, holding his sleeve against his bleeding lip.

“You’re going to ruin your shirt. Let’s go back inside and find something to put some pressure on it.” I make a move to open the door, but he stops me.

“I’ll be all right. After what I said in there, I’m sure the last thing you want to do is take care of me.” He groans, rubbing his jaw.

“Well, seeing as you’re sending me back to my father, it’s probably the last opportunity I’ll have to come to your rescue. How can I resist?” I ask sarcastically.

“Who knew Katie Turner was such a ball-buster?” He smiles, but his lip is starting to swell, causing his speech to be a tad slurred.

“Jada’s gone. Are you happy now?” I jump at the sound of Brian’s voice as he rounds the corner, heading in our direction. “I couldn’t catch up to her. I don’t know where she went.”
I stand my ground, but Adam moves out of the way, probably thinking his brother’s going to hit him again.

“She just needs some time to cool off, pull herself together,” I say to Brian. I mean, isn’t it obvious?

“I don’t know what to do. Should I head back to Philly or stick around and see if she comes back?” Brian anxiously rubs his forehead. “My boss has been calling me nonstop since I got here, telling me he needs me in the office.”

“Then go,” Adam mumbles.

“Oh yeah, so you can swoop in and take Jada away from me?” Brian glares at his brother. “I don’t think so.”

“Take her away from you? You never even had her,” Adam shoots back.

“And you did?” Brian counters angrily.

“At least she told me that she loves me. Did she ever say that to you?” Adam smirks as Brian’s face turns red.

“Yeah, well. Maybe it’s about time she fell for a guy who knows how to treat her right,” Brian says haughtily. “Based on how she kissed me this morning, you’re on your way to becoming nothing more than a distant memory.”

“Go ahead and brag when she’s not around to hear you,” Adam mocks him.

I can’t stand listening to any more of this. Gathering my courage, I march right up to Brian. “Are we going or not?”

“Where? Back to Philly?” He looks at me questioningly.

“I’m ready if you are.” I sound much braver than I feel, but I need to make a clean break. I owe it to myself. “I just have to stop by Adam’s and pick up my stuff.”

“No need. I packed up all your stuff when you were in the shower,” Adam mumbles, holding his lip. “It’s in the trunk of the Neon.”

“So you really were planning to get rid of me today.” I don’t even bother to hide my irritation. “How very touching.”

“Katie, it’s time.” That’s all Adam has to say to me. The guy I dreamed was ’the one’ is officially done with me. Whatever this was between us is over. I get it now.

“Brian, are you cool with giving me a lift?” I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from crying. Adam’s rejection hurts so much, but I don’t want either of them to know that I’m falling apart inside. I have to stay strong.

“Yeah, c’mon,” he sighs, digging his keys out of his pocket.

“So that’s it? The two of you are just going to leave?” Adam asks, incredulous.

“It’s about what you deserve, don’t you think?” Brian mutters.

“All right, enough,” I say, urging them to settle down. “I guess this is goodbye.” Awkwardly, I place my arms around Adam and give him a hug as he lightly squeezes me back. “Good luck with everything.”

“Aww, it sounds like you really mean it,” Adam jokes, his warm breath rustling my hair.

“I do,” I respond in all sincerity. “I want nothing but the best for you, Adam.”

“Same here, Katie.” He hugs me a little closer, and I let him. So many nights, I longed for his touch, and now that I have it, it’s not enough it. I know that now.

Brian beeps the horn impatiently. “Let’s go, Turner.”

Adam opens his trunk and helps me place my bags in the back of Brian’s car. Hopping in, I catch a whiff of the perfume Jada was wearing, a tangible reminder of what they must have done on the way over here. But instead of getting mad, I take it as a sign. Adam slams the door and starts to walk away when I roll down the window.

“Love!” I call out to him.

“What?” he asks, but there’s a glint in his eye like somehow he knows what I’m talking about, like he’s heard me give him this message before.

“Love, Adam. Just love,” I say as Brian shifts into drive, moving onto the road without even acknowledging his brother.

Glancing in the rearview mirror, I see Adam with his arm raised. Most likely he’s waving farewell, but from this perspective it looks like he’s drowning, clawing to reach the surface. I feel a chill run through me and I force myself to look away. There’s nothing more I can do for him. He has to make it on his own now. I’m no longer what’s holding him back.

“You remember where my father lives, right?” I ask Brian, desperate to focus on anything but Adam.

“Yep,” Brian grunts.

“You don’t need to turn on the GPS or anything?” I ramble on.

“Nope.” He’s stringing me along on his one-word answers.

“We are going to talk over the course of the next two hours, aren’t we?” I examine his profile, trying to determine his state of mind.

“Maybe.” He can be so frustrating at times.

“Are you always this stubborn?” I blurt out.

“Yep,” he repeats dully.

“You can talk to me, you know. I’m not the enemy.” I slide the seatbelt under my arm and stare stonily out the window.

“Really?” he asks.

“Really,” I say with as much confidence as I can muster. “I might be Kelly’s cousin, but I’m not Kelly. Adam may have dreamed about me, but he doesn’t love me. You have your demons, and so do I.”

“Sometimes it’s hard for me because you look so much like her.” He’s ticked, but at least he’s strung together an entire sentence. I have to keep him talking. Make him forget that he just punched his brother over another girl.

“I can’t help it if I resemble Kelly. We are related, you know.” I try to sound coy and playful, but instead I come off like a whiny bitch.

“You have my profound sympathies.” He nods his head in my direction. He’s teasing me again. That’s good.

“We’ve never really talked to each other much, you and I.” It’s something that’s been bothering me for a while, actually.

“It’s because you’re always so quiet. I thought you were afraid of me,” he admits, accelerating as we merge onto the highway.

“I don’t like when you drink,” I say firmly.

“Yeah, you’ve already made your sentiments known on that particular subject,” he responds dryly.

“I wasn’t trying to show you up in front of Jada,” I mutter.

“Of course you were. Why else would you bring it up?” He tilts his head, finally meeting my eyes.

“She needed someone to tell her how you really are. That’s all.” I stand up to him even though he’s backing me into a corner.

“And you know me that well, huh?” he asks dismissively.

“Yeah, in fact, I do.” The authority in my tone rankles him.

“Oh yeah? How?” He’s insinuating that I have no idea what I’m talking about, but he’s dead wrong.

“Didn’t you used to hang out at Mulligan’s bar last summer?” I decide to come at him from the side instead of head-on.

“Sometimes. Why?” He certainly wasn’t expecting this from me.

“Were you there last year on the first Saturday in June?” My voice is flat, devoid of emotion.

“Possibly. What are you getting at?” I feel his anger quickly rise to the surface.

“You were in town visiting Adam, weren’t you?” I ask, carefully guiding where I need him to go.

“Yeah, I usually go up to see him on the first weekend of the month,” he responds, confirming my suspicions.

“Do you remember leaving with someone that night? Someone a little younger, who’d had a lot more to drink?” I watch as his expression hardens.

“How would you know anything about that?” He tightens his grip on the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white.

“Do you recall anything about that girl? Her name? What she looked like?” I dig my fingernails into the palms of my hands as he starts breathing heavily.

“What are you getting at, Turner? That I cheated on your cousin?” he demands, trapping me with his gaze. “I don’t know how you found out—”

“Answer the question. What do you remember about her?” My voice remains calm, even though inside I feel like a coiled spring.

“Nothing, all right? She was just some random girl I picked up. I was so wasted I don’t really remember anything about her.” He’s agitated now. I need to be careful.

“Did she give you what you wanted?” It’s a provocative question, and he hits the brake pedal unconsciously.

“What is this, huh?” He glances at me like I’m the one who did something wrong.

“Judging by your reaction, I’m guessing she didn’t put out, did she?” He starts driving erratically, veering into the passing lane. “You were so drunk the only thing you remember is that she didn’t like you touching her. She didn’t want you like you wanted her.”

“If you know what’s good for you, you’ll shut your mouth,” he warns, weaving through traffic.

“Don’t worry, Brian. I didn’t remember you either…until now.” That’s all I have to say. He slams on the brakes before pulling over onto the side of the road.

“How could it have been you?” His eyes are tortured as the realization comes crashing down upon him.

“I was at Mulligan’s for my cousin Jennifer’s bachelorette party. The only reason Kelly wasn’t there was because she had to work. Yet when I told Kelly what happened to me that day in the backyard, I think she put two and two together. She knew you were there that night with Adam. It’s the bar you always go to with him. She knows how you get when you’ve had too much to drink. It’s not the first time you’ve done this to her.” I pause as he lowers his head. “But instead of telling me it was you, she called Dr. Savoy. She probably thought I couldn’t bear to hear the truth, that it would crush me like it was crushing her.”

“But how come we didn’t recognize each other?” Brian’s voice is frantic as the guilt descends upon him.

“The last time you saw me, I had just turned sixteen. I was sporting braces and a bad pixie haircut. Even if you weren’t intoxicated, you probably would’ve walked right by me on the street.” He sits back in his seat, leaning against the headrest, trying to block out what I’m saying.

“My dad only let me stay over your place a few times, but it was usually when you were out of town on a business trip. You know how Kelly never wanted to be there by herself.” I even remember falling asleep in their bed after watching a scary movie with Kelly, the scent of Brian’s aftershave still lingering on the pillow. The memory makes me shiver.

“That night at the bar, you did look vaguely familiar to me, but I thought you were someone else, some random guy I went to high school with. You have the same brown eyes, the same build. I even mentioned the similarity to Kelly once, and she pulled out her yearbook to take a look. He was in her class, not mine.” I shiver again, picturing Heather Thompson’s brother, and how I’d unknowingly planted the idea in Kelly’s head. “I never thought you’d be in Mulligan’s. In my mind, you were miles away in Philly.”

“So how did you figure out it was me?” he asks, baffled.

“Ever since Savoy stopped calling my phone, random details have started coming back to me. As the effects of the hypnosis are wearing off, I’m getting flashes here and there. The first was in the hallway of your apartment. Adam wanted to touch me, but I wouldn’t let him. I thought I was overreacting, but looking back on it, your engagement picture was in my line of vision the whole time. Seeing your face while his hands were on me triggered something. Whatever Savoy did to my mind to suppress those memories was weakened when your image became linked with my sexual arousal. It opened the door, and those dormant feelings resurfaced.” I give him a moment to catch up. He looks like he’s been run over by a freight train.

“What else?” he whispers, barely audible.

“Adam told me that Kelly came on to him last Christmas at your parents’ house, but her behavior didn’t make any sense to me. Why would she make such a bold move, especially with your brother?” I sit up and turn toward him. “She wanted nothing more than for you to propose to her. Why would she go and jeopardize everything?”

“It didn’t stop her when it came to Savoy,” he spits out.

“But think back to how things went down. Kelly knew what you’d done to me. By kissing Adam, she obviously wanted to get back at you, even though she must’ve already been sleeping with Savoy at the time. Maybe she was pregnant then. Who knows?” Brian’s eyes are riveted to mine, and I keep going. “But she could twist the knife in even deeper if she placed the blame on Adam. She used that kiss under the mistletoe to her advantage. Two months later, when she had him all to herself in his apartment, she no doubt felt pretty confident that she’d be able to seduce him, and he fell right into her trap.”

“Until it all unraveled in the end,” he groans, staring out the windshield.

“Pretty much,” I concur, nodding in agreement.

“But why are you back in my car? Aren’t you afraid to be alone with me?” The remorse on his face is unmistakable. “I hate myself right now. I can’t even imagine how you must be feeling. Katie, I know it’s not enough, but I’m sorry, so very sorry.”

“No, I’m not afraid of you, Brian. Not now. I just had never done anything like that with a guy before. It was all so new to me. Talk about having zero experience.” I grimace, fumbling over what to say next.

“You’re kidding, right?” he asks worriedly.

“No, you were my first kiss,” I admit softly.

“Oh God.” He berates himself, thumping the side of his head against the window. “What exactly did I do to you? I know I touched you down there, but we didn’t…?”