Hurricane Butterfly (4 page)

I can feel his erection pressing against my hip as he captures my mouth again, this time with an all-consuming urgency, which leaves me breathless. Nothing could have prepared me for this kiss, and then, too soon and without warning, he pulls away leaving me panting, in a haze of lust.

Alice’s voice slices through the neon smoke and pulls me out of my haze. “Ben, no, WAIT!”

“Get your fucking paws off her!” Ben’s voice booms behind Josh as he pulls him back by his shoulder. Josh falls back, and before he can turn Ben throws the first punch.

Josh staggers into the crowd, wiping his mouth. “You don’t want to do this, Slone.”

Ben stands straight, arms hanging on his side, “Mph, I’ve waited long enough, I don’t care who the fuck you are in Seattle, but here you’re just another guy getting fucked up because you can’t keep your hands to yourself.”

Josh cracks his neck. “I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

“When you force yourself on my friend…‌then you do.” Ben slams into Josh, pushing him into the crowd that scattered like marbles.

“Ben, stop it!” I yell, but it is no use.

Suddenly Luke and a couple of other guys jump in and try to pull them apart. Ben takes a swing again, but Jimmy, the barman who doubled as a bouncer, grabs his hand and pulls him away.

“Don’t you ever touch her again or I swear to God…” Ben yells out as they hold him back.

Before I know what I’m doing, I am kneeling by Josh’s side. There’s a small cut on his lip. He looks up at me. “What are you doing?” he asks under his racing breath.

I grab a few serviettes from a nearby table and push them into his hand. “Helping you.”

“Why?”

I look up and find Alice staring at me with an expression of disbelief written all over her face. She shakes her head, her eyes teary. I open my mouth to speak, but she turns and walks away before I can say anything.

“Alice, wait—“I watch as she jogs after Ben who stomps off with Luke by his side.

When I turn back, Josh’s eyes are already on me. Its dark grey and unreadable, like him. “Do you need a ride home?”

“Shit!”My hands fly to my mouth.

He gets up, dusting his pants off. “Don’t you trust me?”

I feel like I should be running after Alice and Ben, they’re my friends, and this is all my fault.

“Should I?” I fold my arms.

“Probably not.”He walks to the bar and orders a Jack on the rocks.

Oh my God, what have I done? I push my fingers through my hair. He throws the whiskey back and puts the glass on the counter with a few dollars, and walks towards me.

“It’s settled then.” He grabs my hand as he walks past.

“What do you mean?” I stutter as he pulls me through the crowd as if he’s just bought me. My insides pull as he looks back at me.

“That you shouldn’t trust me.”

There’s a small crowd outside on the pavement, but otherwise the street is quiet. My knees buckle underneath me as he holds onto my hand. We stop next to a black Camaro, and he opens the door looking at me like the big bad wolf.

“It’s okay, I’ll behave, I promise.” He smiles.

I slide into the black leather seat, and he shuts the door. Suddenly I am cocooned in the familiar smell of spicy aftershave, mint and whiskey that is Josh. The driver’s door opens, and he gets in. He looks over at me and without warning leans across and pulls the safety belt over me. Being this near to him sends a rush of heat through my body. It isn’t a good idea, but then nothing I’ve done tonight was.

Too soon, we pull up in front of the house. My eyes instinctively dart around for Ben’s truck but it isn’t there. My insides quiver as he parks in front of the house and kills the engine.

“Did you want something to drink? “I push my hair behind my ear and look over at him.

“I think I need something stronger to take the edge off, besides you’re one hot mess, sweetheart.” He drew his tongue over his bottom lip.

I can feel heat spreading down into my panties. This is the best mistake I’ve ever made. I feel completely out of my depth, drowning in him, but I’ve never felt this good. My breath hitches as his hand cups my face then leans over and kisses me on my forehead, leaving me wanting more of him. He takes my phone from my hand.

“Here’s my number, call me when you’re in Seattle.”

I nod, unable to form any words, “Thanks.” The fresh air that streams into the car as he opens the door momentarily pulls me out of my daze.

“It was nice meeting you, Sophie Blake, take care of yourself.”

He turns around and gets in his car, not looking back as he drives off, and just like that, he’s gone. I lock the door behind me and watch the headlights of his car through the lounge windows. For the next ten seconds I am drifting on a cloud, heart pounding, and lips hurting missing his…what have I done?

My phone buzzes; it’s Alice.

“Where are you?” Her voice sounds cold.

“Home.”

“How did you…”

I cut her off, “Josh.”

There’s a moment’s silence. “How long have you known?” she says through sobs.

It’s hard to concentrate still feeling his touch against my skin. “What are you talking about?”

“He’s in love with you, Soph! Did you see him tonight? He went on like a mad man trying to defend you!”

Oh my God. A dull pain shoots through my skull. “No, it’s not what you think, I promise you, there’s nothing between us, never was and never will be.” I choke on my own words. “My God, he’s my friend—I—I don’t feel that way about him.”

She snorts, “Well, clearly he doesn’t feel the same way. You know how I feel about him, and—I—just…”

I push my hair from my face, pacing back and forth. “No, Al, listen to me, this is not about me, Ben told me shit about him and Josh. I mean, they hate each other, he asked me to stay away from Josh because of that, and I couldn’t…”

She lets out a slow sigh, sniffling. “Exactly, he shares everything with you. I don’t know-“

“Al, please, don’t let them come between us, please. I know how you feel about him but promise you, I’ve never been attracted to Ben, never will be, my God, he’s nice but I just don’t feel that way. Besides, if I did, why would I kiss Josh?”

The line goes quiet for a while before she answers. “I suppose you’re right.”

“Look, just please don’t be upset with me, I swear to you there’s never been one single second of attraction between us, he’s just in a weird place and with Josh here, it’s all freaking exploding, and it’s affecting all of us.”

“What were you thinking?”

I feel my insides cringe. “I don’t know what to say Al. I can’t explain any of this.”

She sniffs, “I have to go, Ben’s in the bathroom getting cleaned up.”

“Are we good?”

“Yeah,” she mumbles.

“Alice, please tell him…‌I’m sorry.”

Chapter 8

~Josh~

I had to use all my strength not to take her into the house and fuck her senseless, fuck away the pain and desires wreaking fucking havoc inside of me. When I got in my car with that fucking envelope this was the last thing I expected to find. I was a fucking emotional mess. I never cried after Lilly or Mama, couldn’t, I fucking wanted to, but there was too much hate inside of me for tears.

I knew what to expect from Ben, same shit, I can deal with that, but her, she was the fucking wildcard in the deck shuffled by the devil himself. I have to get the fuck out of here, before I turn around and go back to her. She needs to hate me; she needs to believe every fucking thing Ben tells her.

The redhead watching me at the end of the bar could be a good distraction, one I desperately needed. Those baby blues needed someone like Ben, someone who has his fucking shit sorted.

She saunters over and sits next to me at the bar. Two seconds later the barman places a martini on a napkin in front of her. “Enjoy boss,” he says in a burly voice.

She lifts her finger. “Thanks Les, and one for this gentleman over here.”

I put my Jack down and look out in front of me. “Thanks, but I’m fine.” She lifts a brow and purses her lips. I grab her hand just before it reaches my crotch.

“Sorry darling, I’m not in the mood.” I close my hand over hers and pull it away.

The sides of her mouth pull up. “Well if that’s the only obstacle, it’s an easy one to fix.” Her hand lingers on my thigh, and someone takes the seat next to me.

“What the fuck are you still doing here?” I look up to see Ben next to me, his eyes glued to her hand on my leg. As always, he only gets to see the fuck-ups.

She sits back, removes her hand, and takes up her glass. “Ben, what a nice surprise to see you here.”

He seems on edge but smiles politely. “Hi.”

“And how’s your friend, the cute little one with the blue eyes?” She glares at me while speaking to Ben.

Was she talking about Sophie? His shoulders tense up as he clears his throat before answering.

“She’s good.”

“Well I’m glad to hear. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do, poor girl, I can’t imagine what she’s been through.” She finishes her drink and stands up.

“I hope you boys come back soon.” Her hand traces across my shoulders as she walks past.

“You need to fucking go, I don’t want your family’s money, I can’t…” he takes a deep breath, “nothing’s changed, you’re still the selfish, egotistical motherfucker too proud to man up to your mistakes.” I can see the rage flicker up behind his eyes.

I take a sip of Jack and pull out my wallet. I am not in the mood for Ben’s lectures, but he is going to give me one, anyways.

No matter what I say it isn’t going to change what has happened between us, nothing will. The black hole between us is growing by the second.

“You gonna tell me what she’s talking about?” My eye catches the redhead eyeing me from the other side of the bar, and Ben sees it too. He huffs and takes a sip of his beer.

“It’s none of your fucking business. Now get in your fancy car and go back home. I’m sure there’s enough pussy to keep you occupied.”

Of course, he is so fucking protective of that blue-eyed angel. I lower my hand over the glass and dip the two fingers carrying her sweet scent into the Jack then suck it off, and my cock jumps into full salute. I have a new demon, disguised as an angel, one I don’t want to run from.

“Look, I’m out of here tomorrow. I just came to deliver the documents. I know you don’t believe me, so that doesn’t change anything between us.”

He turns his head away from me. After a long pause, he lowers his head and takes a deep breath. “She was attacked by a dog nearly a year ago, there, now you know, now get the fuck out of here.”

He drifts off for a moment. “You keep your fucking hands off her, Roxwell, or I swear to God this time, I won’t hesitate.”

I can’t imagine something that horrific happening to this girl. Now pieces of the puzzle are coming together. I recognized the same look in her eye that I see in myself. Fear. She’s been through enough, and I ain’t going to make it better.

I’m a fucked up mess. If I’d known this, I wouldn’t have pulled that stunt on the dance floor tonight. Ben’s right, I should leave.

After what happened tonight, I don’t have the energy to tell him about the letter that’s been burning a hole in my pocket. I tip the glass back and put enough cash on the bar to cover both of our drinks. “I’m gonna crash at a motel tonight. You’re welcome to come to the house anytime. I’m sure Annie and Charles will be happy to see you.”

He turns around. “You should know better than to think money is going to make things right between us. You can’t keep pretending it didn’t happen, Josh.”

His words cut into my tainted soul. I don’t need this, not from him, not tonight.

I pause, clenching my fists. “Leave it, Ben.” I take a step forward, and his hand closes around my arm holding me back. Years of anger explode between us, and before I know what I’m doing my hands are around his neck. In a flash, the bartender is beside me, pulling me off him. Ben’s nostrils are flaring as he leans back against the edge of the bar.

“You haven’t changed one bit, and you deserve every fucking day of misery you get.” His eyes lower, chest heaves, and mine follow. The fucking envelope is lying on the floor in between us. Even now, in death, she stands between us. His name is on the front of the envelope in her flowy handwriting. Fuck! I lift my head up. He shakes, clenching his fists.

“What’s this?” his voice is strained and low.

No matter how much hate there is between us, this is not the way I wanted to do this. I bend down and pick it up, keeping my eye on him. I hold the envelope out to him. He looks up at me with eyes full of emotion.

“Lilly,” he speaks her name as if it is something sacred.

God knows I have wanted to open that letter a million times, but I couldn’t do it. It was in the file with the photos and other documents I discovered after my mother died. Like most other things in my family, this was kept a secret.

His face is pale. His eyes are fixed on the envelope in my hands. I want him to punch me and tell me what a sick motherfucker I am, but he doesn’t. He reaches out, takes the envelope as if it is made of glass, then turns and walks out, without saying a word.

Guilt is the timekeeper of my soul. Lilly has left a void inside of me that’s filled with wretchedness, hate, and anger, until now. This feeling burning inside of me is the last thing I need right now, but holding her in my arms tonight has awakened something inside of me that died four years ago.

I buy another bottle of Jack and drive to her house, parking underneath the trees, far enough away that she can’t see me, but close enough to feel near to her. As I unscrew the bottle, a shadow passes by a window upstairs.

A slim hand pulls the curtains to the side, and the silhouette of my newfound demon appears, with a halo of gold around her. She is the one who is going to run me off the rails or get me back on track, either way, someone is going to get hurt.

Chapter 9

“You don’t want this Sophie, trust me.” Heat pooled between my legs as he breathed in my neck, his fingers slowly tracing up my thigh.

“I want you, Josh.”

My eyes flutter open against the sharp light streaming in through my bedroom curtains, and his face is the first thing I see. I can feel the warmth of his breath against my neck and the feeling of my skin under his masterful touch. It isn’t a dream it is real, he is real.