Hurricane Butterfly (3 page)

I get up, take a pen lying on the cabinet to my right, and scribble my number on the back of the envelope “In case you change your mind, call me.”

Ben nods, but I know he’s never going to call. He’s found a way to move on, and I fucking despise him for that. He is doing what he did with Lilly. He has found someone who needs him; he’s her protector, that’s how he copes with shit. For me, it’s about not letting anyone close enough for my demons to destroy them.

Chapter 4

Ben seems tense as he walks into the kitchen where I’m trying to get another batch of cupcakes on the go, but my brain is scattered. The only things I can think of are those sinful silver grey eyes looking right into the very depths of my soul. It’s as if there’s an invisible force field pulling me in while peeling back the layers I’ve been hiding under. It scares me as much as it excites me.

“Hey, everything okay?” I turn to put the margarine back in the fridge, but mostly just to avoid eye contact. I know he can see how much Josh’s presence unraveled me.

“Yeah, fine.” An awkward moment passes between us. “And you?”

I bump the fridge closed with my hip and give him my best smile. “Yeah, why?” I try to sound absentminded, but it’s hard with those stormy eyes burned into my mind.

Ben leans back against the cupboard, just staring out in front of him. “Look, Soph, I’m sorry he just showed up here, honestly, I had no idea he was coming. I haven’t seen him in years, and I hoped I never would.”

“It’s fine, really, it’s nice meeting old friends of yours. You never talk about your life in Seattle.”

He throws his head back and strokes the back of his neck. “He’s not a friend,” his voice is strained.

“What do you mean?” I can feel my pulse climbing.

He lets out a deep breath as he pushes himself from the cabinet. “There’s not much to tell.”

Clearly that wasn’t the case, but it’s none of my business, so I’ll let it go. Time was what he needed, not an interrogation. Alice is going to be deeply disappointed with my sleuthing skills, or lack thereof.

He takes bottled water from the fridge and glances back at the big white envelope lying on the coffee table, which is clearly making him anxious.

“His family took me in after my mother died. I lived with them until I was twenty-one, then I came back here to take care of my dad.” The words rush from his lips like an unprepared speech.

Goosebumps shoot up over my skin. This is the first time he’s talked about any of this. “Oh my God; I had no idea.”

“It’s a part of my life I prefer to keep in the past. Josh and I have never seen eye to eye. He thinks that I ruined his life. The day I left, we had a big fight, and it didn’t end well. I packed my bags and left, and I’ve never been back.”

He gazes at the floor, working his jaw. “I need to ask you something.” He looks up at me with soulful blue eyes.

My mind was still trying to absorb all of this. “Of course, anything.”

“If he ends up staying in town, please just keep your distance. He’s not the type of guy I want hanging around you,” he pleads.

I try to swallow the lump in my throat. The one guy I’ve felt an unexplained connection with, the one guy that gives me butterflies in my stomach, turns my head into a ball of string and my legs into jelly, this is the guy I have to stay away from? Shit!

I reluctantly agree to appease him.

“If everything goes as I think it will, he’ll be out of here in the morning, and things can go back to the way they were.” He gives a relieved smile.

My heart falls to the pit of my stomach. The way things were…

Trying to carry on with a life that’s dead and gone. Taking sleeping pills to keep the nightmares away. The endless whispering behind cupped hands whenever I go into a shop in this town. Having my friends hover over me, afraid that I might break. Worrying that I might not finish my studies and start to teach next year.

That’s the way it is. My life, or what is left of it.

My eyes trace along the piles of books stacked everywhere, along the walls and even on the stairs, the dried herbs hanging from the wooden beam in the kitchen, the wicker baskets with balls of wool, and Nan’s knitting sitting atop it. This is it, my dreams are reduced to this, my safety zone.

I am trapped inside of a body that I no longer know, and the fear of ever having to share it with someone else who would never know the real me, the girl underneath the scars.

“Soph?” Ben’s voice pulls me out of my daydream.

“Sorry, I was just thinking about what you told me. It’s so sad that you guys had to part like that.”

He turns to look out the window, facing the front yard. “Just trust me on this, please.”

I scratch the inside of my arm folded against my chest. I am lost for words still reveling in the nearness of him. Ben’s request seems so simple, but everything inside of me is rebelling against it.

Will you hate me if I take a rain check for tonight?”

“No, of course not, it’s fine.”

“Maybe we can go to the pub on Saturday. That Indie band you like so much is playing.”

“Cool, I’ll tell Alice.” I give him my best smile.

Chapter 5

~Two days later~

It is just after eight when we park Alice’s old Toyota underneath the last streetlight. We get out and started the short walk to the pub’s front door where a couple of tourists are standing around. Saturday nights are crazy. There are still a lot of tourists around for September, and tonight is no exception. Alice grabs my hand, pulling me inside. The beat of the drums hits us as the doors open, and we are engulfed in smoke. Colorful lights rise between the smoke from the sea of bodies on the dance floor. The bar is on our left, and a lounge encircles the dance floor on the outskirts with private tables and rooms on the farthest end.

This place used to be the lamest pub in town, until a few months ago when it came under new ownership. Michelle Anderson, an ex-stripper and single mom from New York bought it and changed it into the hottest place in town, complete with bouncers at the doors, and sexy girls working the floor, and Jimmy, the barman. He is an ex-MMA fighter and Michelle’s right hand. He nods at me as we pass the bar, pushing through the crowd. The last time he saw me was the weekend before the attack when I came in with Ben to help with the lighting in the bar.

We stop at the bottom of the staircase. “I don’t see him,” she huffs. “Just wait here, I’ll be right back.” And with that, she turns and disappears leaving me standing there like a hooker on a street corner. I let my hair down hanging over my shoulders, and two layers of mascara and lip-gloss was enough, but still looked natural.

The white, peasant mini with sweetheart neckline was a safe choice. It covered the ugly scars on my back and shoulder but it did not hide my insecurities. My fingers pull at my hem when a guy I recognize from outside appears at my side.

“Hi, can I buy you a drink?” he asks in a heavy British accent.

I take a step back, glancing over my shoulder for any sign of Alice, but there’s none. “Uhm, thanks, but I’m actually with someone.”

He looks around. “Really, where is he?”

Okay, now that I didn’t expect. I take in a breath thinking about what to say next when I feel a firm grip on my waist.

“Is there a problem?”

Josh’s voice washes over me like a velvet river. I turn, and my eyes trace up his black tee shirt, his neck, stubbly jaw, lips, and last but not least, his stormy grey eyes. My heart flutters as he leans over, sliding his hand around to my hip.

“No, no problem, I just thought she was alone,” the British guy offers, but Josh doesn’t seem impressed.

“She’s not, so I think it’s time for you to go.” His tone is clipped as he stands over the pale looking guy. He doesn’t wait for a response and turns his back on him.

“Are you okay?” his words fall into the space between us filled with an unspoken desire that I have never felt before. A small voice inside my head reminds me of Ben’s warning, but I push it aside. Whatever he’s doing to me, I can’t fight it…‌I don’t want to.

“I’m fine. Thanks.” My words come out in a whisper as his eyes caress my face, my lips, my heaving chest. Electricity shoots up my arm as he takes my hand in his.

“Dance with me.” His request is not a question but more of a spoken need.

I bite down on my lip as the warmth of his breath brushes against my neck, leaving sparks on my skin as I follow him through the crowd like a sheep to slaughter.

Chapter 6

~Josh~

I thought the half bottle of Jack I finished in my hotel room would take the edge off, but it didn’t. Coming here was a huge fucking mistake. I mean, what was I thinking? Ben still hasn’t forgiven me, and he probably never will. The lilac-colored envelope, bent and stained in my pocket is still my constant companion and my curse. I have to give it to him, but this isn’t a good time.

Neither one of us is ready to face the past again. I guess time doesn’t heal all wounds. The look in his eyes is still the same as that day we stood side by side at her grave. He couldn’t hide it then, and he can’t hide it now. He blamed me; he’s still blaming me. Secretly, I want him to, clearly I’m not ready to deal with forgiveness.

I’ve done what I came to do, and I should just get the fuck out of here, but…‌this girl, this angel is fucking with my mind. The things I want to do with her I’ll probably regret, but I just can’t help myself, those eyes, so deep and crystal-clear like Holy Water, could wash away my sins, and destroy my demons. She is the last person I need to be around, for my own good and hers. She’s so fucking sweet, and her smile is real, just like the feelings she pulls from my hollow chest.

Ben’s unspoken warning was clear. She is off limits, no exceptions. But after all we’ve been through, he should know that I don’t do hands-off very well, and this girl has something that I want, but don’t fucking deserve…‌to feel again.

Her eyes are big blue pools as she looks up at me, chest heaving, biting on that plump, pink bottom lip. Jack doesn’t have shit on her.

Seeing Ben has dredged shit up that I needed to fuck out of my system, and the only face I saw when I milked my cock in the shower this morning was hers. Her small hand trembles in mine as I lead her even further through the crowd, to the farthest corner of the dance floor.

I slip my arm around her back, gently pulling her closer until her heaving chest presses against mine. She trembles as I dip my head down and breathe in the flowery scent of her long, golden hair.

Walk away now, Sophie, tell me to fuck off, and walk away before I won’t let you. I slip my fingers around her tiny waist and let my thumb graze on the side of her back, just below her full breast.

My lips brush against her forehead, and I can feel her tense in my arms. “Why can’t I stop thinking about you?”

Her voice quivers as her full pink lips part slightly. “You’ve had too much to drink.”

She’s right, I numb the pain, except this time, I’m feeling every.fucking.thing.

“I thought it would help to get my mind off of you.”

Her eyes linger on my mouth as her tongue wets her bottom lip. “Did it?”

Wrong response, sweetheart. Being this close to her, breathing in the smell of her hair, her skin, makes me want to break open this fucking cocoon of innocence and get to know the angel inside.

For the first time I’ve met someone in whose presence my guilt creeps back into the shadows. There, it waits, to torture me when I’m alone with my thoughts.

“What do you think?” I press my eyes closed and push the voice telling me I’m going to fuck this up to the back of my head. My fingers slide between her heaving breasts, down her stomach to the edge of her dress, grazing against her naked thigh, I will her to stop me now.

“I…‌I, don’t know.” She speaks under her breath as her head turns, her eyes lift to meet mine. She gasps as I swing her around quickly and then pull her back against me with my arm around her waist.

A small moan escapes her lips as her fingers clench against the side of my pants, sending my cock into full salute.

“Why did you come here? She says in a soft voice as her head turns, her eyes lift to meet mine.

“You are very direct, Miss Blake.” My breath brushes against the side of her face.

“What do you do beside drive for two hours to deliver an envelope with documents?” A dimple appears on her cheek, and I have to restrain myself from lifting my hand and caressing her face. She has a way about her that makes me see nobody else but her. It’s easy to see why Ben is so fucking protective.

“I keep an eye on the family business. “How about you, what do you do when you’re not killing cupcakes?”

The corners of her mouth pull up, and that cute dimple makes an appearance again. “I’m studying to be a teacher.”

My heart clenches as a dark shadow passes behind her eyes. “If I had teachers like you, I might have actually enjoyed school.”

She nods slowly as the darkness behind her eyes fades away. “I take it you were a stubborn child.”

I drag my eyes away from her lips, but God I want to kiss her right now. “I prefer misunderstood.”

She nods slowly, as if she understands the words I’m not saying. With her gaze set on me, my hand lifts to cup her chin, the crowd disappears, and before I know it, my lips press against hers.

Chapter 7

Liquid fire surges through my veins as his lips crush mine. There’s a moment of hesitation before my lips start to move with his, but when they do, it’s magical. The butterflies in my stomach are frantically flapping their wings against my ribcage, my brain is a ball of string, and my body is buzzing under his touch.

It is as if he pulls every unspoken coveted desire from my soul. His lips dripping with promises that leave me feverish. Everything about this is so crazy. I do not know anything about this alluring stranger, except Ben’s warning. The need building inside of me is drowning out the small voice telling me to stop.

I groan in his mouth as his hands glide down the sides of my waist, then come to rest on my hips. My lips move with his then he pulls away, leaving my skin on fire under his touch. Suddenly everything around us disappears.