How to Defeat Harmful Habits (Counseling Through the Bible Series) (18 page)
C
ULTURAL
E
NDORSEMENT
Do you continually expose yourself to alcohol through the media—that is, movies, ads, and magazines?
Does drinking fit who you see yourself to be?
The Bible gives this instruction for countering our secular culture:
“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world
,
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind
.
Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is
—
his good, pleasing and perfect will”
(R
OMANS
12:2).
Saying No to FriendsQ
UESTION:
“Without offending them, how can I say
no
to my heavy-drinking friends who offer me drinks?”
A
NSWER:
A simple “No, thank you” or “Thank you; I’m not interested” should suffice. Most people don’t like to drink or do drugs alone. However, most will also respect—if not envy—someone who is strong enough to not “follow the crowd.” If they are offended, that is a reflection on their own insecurity, not on your convictions. Remember:
• You and you alone are accountable for the boundaries you set for your life.
• Anyone can give in to peer pressure.
• Only those who have strength of character will resist peer pressure.
Be aware that those who entice others to drink are walking on dangerous ground. The Bible says,
“Woe to him who gives drink to his neighbors
,
pouring it from the wineskin till they are drunk”
(H
ABAKKUK
2:15).
Internal Influences—Genetic and Psychological
I
NHERITED
I
NCLINATION FROM
F
AMILY
Were you born to an alcoholic parent?
Do you have close relatives who are alcoholics?
The risk for alcohol dependence is three to four times higher for those who have close relatives with a dependence on alcohol.
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I
NHERITED
V
ULNERABILITY FROM AN
E
THNIC
G
ROUP
Were you born within an ethnic group that has a high rate of alcoholism within its population?
Scandinavians, northern Europeans, and the Irish are more susceptible, whereas Asians are less susceptible. “The low prevalence rates among Asians appear to relate to a deficiency, in perhaps 50% of Japanese, Chinese, and Korean individuals, of the form of aldehyde dehydrogenase that eliminates low levels of the first breakdown product of alcohol known as acetaldehyde.”
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Alcoholics process alcohol in a way that reinforces their addiction. Acetaldehyde works within them to create addictive chemical compounds that interfere with the brain’s processes and create an opiate-like addiction.
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P
SYCHOLOGICAL
M
AKEUP
Are you prone to seek drugs as a relief from anxiety and stress?
Are you prone to struggle with excessive guilt and shame?
Alcohol soothes the underlying nerves, and thus calms intense responses to stress—that is, perspiring palms, flushed skin, and an increase in heart rate and blood pressure.
H
ABITS AND
C
OMPULSIONS
Do you have habits you feel are resistant to change?
Do you compulsively fixate on activities that involve drinking or drugs?
Repetitive alcohol and drug use alters the brain itself. Eventually the connections between the brain neurons are slowly modified, thus making it more difficult for you to make different choices.
No matter what reason we give for becoming enslaved to a habit that has mastery over us, God says we can change masters:
“If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it”
(G
ENESIS
4:7).
Inherited “Disease”Q
UESTION:
“Is alcoholism an inherited disease over which I have no control? My father and grandfather are alcoholics.”
A
NSWER:
Medical professionals continue to debate whether or not alcoholism is a disease. Because of the strong and lasting changes alcohol can have on the brain and other organs, many consider it a disease. Others, however, take the position that alcoholism is more of a behavioral problem.
A disease is defined as an “abnormal condition of the body” caused by…
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• Infections (catching the flu or smallpox from a germ or virus outside the body)
• Genetic defects (being born with diabetes or with a genetic makeup that causes alcohol to not be processed normally)
• Environmental factors (being exposed to toxins and pollutants, or developing cirrhosis of the liver, in which excessive alcohol caused so much stress on the liver that it no longer functions properly)
While alcoholism can be influenced by genetics and chemical alterations, the vital fact to remember is that
you have total control over whether or not you choose to drink
. Your family background can make you more susceptible, but such influences can be resisted. No matter what your family’s alcoholic history, the Lord, in His mercy, will meet you at your point of need.
“Do not hold against us the sins of the fathers; may your mercy
come quickly to meet us, for we are in desperate need”
(P
SALM
79:8).
No one has to be taught the art of justifying wrong behavior. Somehow we seem to come by that skill very naturally. People who are chemically dependent become proficient at rattling off reason after reason for using their drug of choice, but, ultimately, there is no valid justification—only excuses. In the final analysis, they are persuaded that they genuinely need it, or they feel entitled just because they want it.
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“
I need it
…to help pick me up.”
…to help quiet me down.”
…to help relieve my pain.”
…to help me be more sociable.”
…to help me forget my failures.”
…to help me satisfy my cravings.”
“
I want it
…to help me relax.”
…to help me feel good.”
…to help me have more fun.”
…to help me relieve my stress.”
…to help me be more accepted.”
…to help me escape my situation.”
As the Bible says,
“All a man’s ways seem innocent to him
,
but motives are weighed by the L
ORD
”
(P
ROVERBS
16:2).
Disease or Sin?Q
UESTION
:
“If alcoholism can be both inherited and a disease, how can it be a sin? Isn’t the fact I’m an alcoholic something that’s beyond my control?”
A
NSWER
:
Many identify themselves as alcoholics based on physiology, but they choose not to drink. In regard to sin: It’s not a sin for you to be a
nondrinking alcoholic
. It is a sin to be a
drunk alcoholic
. In the Bible, drunkenness is listed among the sins that we are commanded to avoid. Even if alcoholism were a disease over which you have no control,
drunkenness
is clearly a sin over which you
do
have control. Choosing not to drink means setting a boundary for your life that will help you to break the power this sin has over you.
The Bible clearly describes drunkenness as sin.
“The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality
,
impurity and debauchery…and envy; drunkenness”
(G
ALATIANS
5:19,21).
For too long, Josh Hamilton’s craving was for drugs. But in October 2005, he finally realized what he really needed was the Lord. God used a rare rebuke from his beloved grandmother to get his attention: “I’m tired of you killing yourself. I’m tired of watching you hurt all the people who care about you.”
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All of a sudden, something in Josh clicked.
He immediately recognized his need for supernatural help. It was the only way he could fight the demons of drugs and alcohol. So he offered up his broken spirit to God.
“I can’t try anymore because I fail on my own,” Josh humbly confessed to God. “You do with me what you want to do with me, but I surrender.”
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And with that surrender came new strength and the power to live a godly life. Finally, Josh could proclaim along with the psalmist:
“I love you, O L
ORD
, my strength. The L
ORD
is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold”
(P
SALM
18:1-2).
Initially people take drugs for two reasons: either to treat a legitimate medical problem, or to feel a pleasurable sensation. Those who are trying to
feel differently
typically begin drinking or using drugs because of peer pressure or to satisfy their curiosity. But they continue their usage in order to satisfy their
perceived
needs. Substance abuse occurs when the substance moves from being a need-meeter to becoming the need itself. Instead of using a substance to
relieve
stress, they end up using a substance because its mere absence
causes
stress.
God designed every person with legitimate needs—physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual. And His design is for all people to come to Him and to be dependent on Him as their true Need-meeter.
“My God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus”
(P
HILIPPIANS
4:19).
W
RONG
B
ELIEF
:
“I don’t have a chemical dependency. I just enjoy the way it makes me feel. I could stop anytime, but it helps me cope with my difficult situations and eases my painful emotions.”
R
IGHT
B
ELIEF
:
“I realize that what I depend on in my life will have control of my life. I choose not to let any chemical have control over me. Instead, I choose to give Christ control of every area of my life and to depend on Him to satisfy my needs.”
The Bible says,
“The L
ORD
will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail”
(I
SAIAH
58:11).
Norm—the Blustering Goliath
“God, help me! I can’t handle it!”
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This desperate cry was born out of a sobering crisis, for at long last, Norm recognized that he had been following in his father’s staggering footsteps. In fact, he had become just like his father: an alcoholic. For 20 years, Norm hit the hard stuff through countless drinking binges that didn’t end until the bartender declared, “Last call!”
Norm’s dad introduced him to alcohol. On Saturday afternoons at his service station, Norm’s father would set up a little bar in a back room and invite regular customers in for a drink. He said he just wanted to have a little fun. But on many Saturdays, by around 8:00 p.m., the fun was over. Norm remembers watching men carry his father home and put him to bed.
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With his dad drowning in a sea of alcohol, Norm took his first dip in junior high and was quickly immersed. Partying rather than studying became Norm’s priority, and he soon began hanging with the heavy-drinking crowd. At college, Norm drank even more but somehow managed to graduate, get married, and start working at the Interstate Batteries distributorship in Memphis with his dad and brothers.
52
Later, Norm moved to Texas to work as a traveling salesman based at the company headquarters. In his first year, he spent more than eight months on the road—a lifestyle that revolved around “drinking, partying, and selling!”
53
On the Friday afternoon plane rides home he bought drink after drink after drink, so by the time the plane landed, he was already loaded. But for him, the partying had only just begun. He would then go to bars and stay until closing time, with blackouts often ending the bingeing.
After Norm was convicted twice of driving while intoxicated,
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he was once again pulled over by a policeman, but he managed to talk his way out of being arrested. He continued on home that night and, the next morning, woke up with a hangover so bad that he called in sick to work. Norm recounts, “As I lay there in bed, the truth overwhelmed me.” That’s when a thought hit him like a bottle breaking across his head. “I was an alcoholic just like my father. I’d lost control of my life. That was a frightening realization!”
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In the next moment, Norm experienced a most miraculous transformation. As soon as he blurted out, “God, help me! I can’t handle it!” his addiction to alcohol ended—suddenly and
immediately
. “I’ll never forget those words, because He completely took away the compulsion to drink. It was over right then,” Norm recalls with amazement.
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There is yet another intriguing twist to Norm’s account of deliverance—a significant sign and reminder of God’s amazing grace. At the time he cried out in desperation, he wasn’t even sure if he even
believed
in God. Work and alcohol had been his gods. Norm hadn’t given any thought to the prospect of a
personal
, all-powerful God—big G. “Religion meant nothing to me,” Norm states.
57
Around this time, a friend told Norm that the Bible is a guidebook for life. It reveals what life is really all about and how to live. Norm quickly dismissed his friend, declaring that unless he could
prove
that the Bible was the absolute truth, he wouldn’t budge from his belief that the Bible was a book filled with outdated philosophies—and was altogether irrelevant.
Norm, like a blustering “Goliath,” quickly discovered that his friend was indeed the “David” in his life. He provided Norm with a myriad of materials on archaeological finds, the authenticity of biblical manuscripts, and the fulfillment of hundreds of Old Testament prophecies in the New Testament. “The supporting evidence was so strong that I began reading the Bible and attending a Bible study,” Norm remembers.
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Then, just like the towering Philistine giant in the Bible, Norm’s faulty assumptions about the Bible were knocked down in one fell swoop.
Ultimately, a diligent search of the Scriptures led Norm to an encounter with Christ and the beginning of a life-changing relationship with Him.
Norm Miller represents the epitome of the American dream. He worked his way up through the ranks of Interstate Batteries, from being a traveling salesman to the premier post he occupies now. As chairman of Interstate Battery System of America, Norm has molded the corporation to earn an unrivaled reputation for excellence and integrity, as well as sustained success in the marketplace. No longer a blustering Goliath, Norm is considered a giant of ethics and integrity in his field, a man committed to the call and commands of Christ. He stands tall as a mighty example to others of how the faith of an authentic Christian at the top of a corporation can powerfully impact all aspects of the workplace.
IV. SWhile Norm is now one of the most persuasive representatives of Christ in corporate America, he has never forgotten his past. His longing is for those who are enslaved to alcohol to be set free. Indeed Norm knows the truth, and he quotes Jesus, who is the Truth: “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32).
TEPS TO
S
OLUTION
What Josh Hamilton clearly stated, his wife, Katie, affirmed: “I put her through absolute hell for a long time.”
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And on January 22, 2009, Katie thought she just might be taking a trip back to the dark side. Sober and drug-free for three years, a sobbing Josh called her from Arizona and said that upon encountering a bar at a pizza restaurant, he ended up having one drink, then another, then another. Then Josh and Katie’s biggest fear as a celebrity couple came true. Seven months later, photographs of Josh carousing with three young women were made public.
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The fact is all too true: “A man is a slave to whatever has mastered him” (2 Peter 2:19).
The prayer that Josh and every struggler needs to pray often is this:
“Teach me to do your will, for you are my God;
may your good Spirit lead me on level ground”
(P
SALM
143:10).
Katie admitted that the boundary lines had become blurred. They had let their guards down, and Josh had relapsed. So then, in his desire to stay firmly grounded in Christ, Josh set for himself “double boundaries” to prevent another relapse. To minimize the possibility of succumbing to temptation, Josh stopped carrying money with him. The monetary allocations for his baseball road trips were carried by someone else.
Josh stopped going out alone at night, and he stopped going out with his teammates. And a certain someone was given the task of knowing Josh’s whereabouts at all times. Johnny Narron, a former first baseman and batting coach who looms large in Josh’s life, served as his mentor, confidante, chaperone, and stalwart brother in Christ. The two always have adjoining rooms on the road, and Johnny stays with Josh if Katie and their three daughters are away.
The boundaries must be firm, rigid,
immovable
for a recovering addict, and Josh’s life is a testimony to that truth. “That’s why I go to the ballpark, and I go home. Park. Home. Park. Home.”
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Josh takes the following Scripture literally:
“He who ignores discipline despises himself
,
but whoever heeds correction gains understanding”
(P
ROVERBS
15:32).
For evidence that Josh Hamilton has dabbled on the dark side, to see that he has indeed wrestled with his “inner demons” of chemical dependency, you can simply look at his arms.
His past so-called “friends” influenced Josh in yet another way besides substance abuse. Tattoos line both of Josh’s arms—26 in all on his body—and they aren’t images of butterflies and buttercups.
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Staring at him from the crook of his left elbow is a personification of the face of Satan, a permanent reminder that as a recovering addict, evil is so very near. Blue flames shoot down both arms, and blank-eyed demons sprawl across his skin.
Josh deeply regrets having gotten the tattoos, but there is one on the back of his right leg that looms large—the radiant face of Jesus superimposed over a tall cross. This image is a powerful reminder that, despite the debilitating drugs and evil tattoos, he can experience freedom in Christ. He gives total credit to Christ for victory and knows that
