Hotbox (62 page)

She laughed harder. “That doesn’t even count!”

“Well that’s a pretty big sin in
my
book.” Her smile remained, but
she
looked a little sad, so I asked,
“What’s the matter?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged.
“
I guess I just miss baseball.”

It made
me
smile and I said, “Yeah,
so do I
.”

She gave me an expectant look and I knew right then that she actually did have a preference for whether or not I continued playing. Before
,
she had always told me she’d support whatever
I
chose and that she didn’t favor either decision.

“You re
ally want me to play,
” I
told
her.

She looked surprised at the accusation. “Well, uh…”

“Jayden, you want me to play but you don’t want to push me into it. Am I right?”

I sat up, waiting for her answer. But she just sat there, staring at me. Finally she shrugged.

“Is that a yes?” I asked with a smile. “You want me to play?”

She sighed. “Ty, you’re just…
really good
. And I loved watching you play. It honestly was the highlight of my week. I was happy seeing you do something you were so good at, especially because you were happy doing it. But that’s the key.
You
were happy doing it. If it’s not something you’d be happy with, then I don’t want you to do it.
My answer is still the same as it’s always been, honey. Are you waiting for me to say, ‘Ty
,
I
really wish you’d
play
baseball’?
Is that what you’re waiting for?”

It was, wasn’t it
? I really did want to, but I also didn’t want the hassle. I had everything I wanted right now, so I didn’t see the point in changing anything.
I was afraid of making a decision that might backfire on me.

After shar
ing that with her I admitted, “But y
eah, I guess I would rather make you decide.
But that’s nothing new. I’ve told you that before.”

“Yeah, you did,” she agreed
with a chuckle
. “Then maybe we should stick with our original plan. Just try out
in the spring
and see where it gets you. If you fail miserably then we’ll take that as a sign.” She was trying not to laugh, but she did anyway.

I nodded. “Thanks for the encouragement.”

“You know what I mean,” she replied,
sliding
onto my lap. She kissed me for a few seconds and then held my face in her hands. “I used to
have my life all planned out. W
hen I was going to get married
—I’m a year overdue, by the way
,” she smiled, “
—H
ow many kids I was going to have, how far apar
t they were going to be in age, what kinds of
activities
I wanted them to be in… But I really don’t care about that anymore. I’m very happy with you, and I don’t care if we have everything planned out for the future, or if we just live week to week. Everything else can change in our lives, but my love for you and my need to be with you never will. As long as I have
that
stability… I don’t care about anything else.”

She waited until I nodded my understanding. “I feel the same way.”

“Good,” she smiled, “because
I have a few baby names to go over with you.”

“Baby names?” I chuckled. “What happened to not planning everything out?”

She shrugged. “Some things can wait; other things are just fun to think about.”

Chapter Thirty-Four

It was about that time. Things were going really well in my life; I was happy, and looking forward to marrying the girl of my dreams. I didn’t like to think my life could be so predictable with its ups and downs, but unfortunately, it was.

The following week was the beginning of the end of my life. It began with a phone call on Thursday n
ight; the boss was back in town
and he wanted to meet with me. I wasn’t too worried about it. I was somewhat glad that he’d be able to get Dean to back off, just in case he decided to cause me problems.

I took a long lunch break on Friday afternoon to meet with
Olevsky
at
Perdita’s
. Lou was pretty relaxed about it, especially if he thought I was meeting Jayden for lunch. He particularly liked it when she would drop in to see me, claiming that the shop could use a touch of class. “She sure pretties it up in here,” he once said.

I ate on the way to the restaurant.
Kristof
always offered me food, but I decided long ago that I would never take anything from him, not even a dime. I sat across from him in his private dining room, just like any other meeting.

“You loo
k good,” he told me
. “You look very happy.”

“I am happy,” I admitted.

“So I take it she said yes and all that, and now the two of you are planning a wedding?”

“Yes.”

He
didn’t even smile like I tho
ught he would, and it gave me an uneasy
feeling
.

“
Is there a date set?”
he asked.

“November.”

“Oh, I see,” he replied with surprise. “That’s quite soon. She just seems like a spring bride to me… Fresh and vibrant, like a
spring
flower.” He tilted his head in question. “Is there a particular reason you’re getting married so soon?”

“Besides the fact that I love her? No.”

“Oh, so she’s not…”

“No,” I
replied
dryly.

He slowly nodded. He laced his fingers together and set them on the table. “
I’m aware of Dean and his stupid little mistakes. I do apologize, Tyler, for allowing him pull you in again. He’s q
uite upset with you.”

“With
me
? He’s the one threatening my fiancée—”

“He did what?”

I sighed. “Look, all I told him was that I don’t answer to him, and Jayden knows nothing about what’s going on and she never will. I don’t care about his dirty cop
.
He’s not my concern. I don’t want there to be any problems.”

He sat in silence for a few moments as he
leaned forward on the table
. “It’s already too late.”

“What’s already too late?”

“The problem is already there.”

“What exactly is the problem?”

“My two most valuable employees are unhappy. Dean is who keeps my organization at its peak, and
Roy
is who allows it to remain successful. Without them I would have many other business associates very upset with me.”

“You’
re the boss,” I said, as if I actually needed to remind him. “They operate according to your instructions.”

“Yes, and I can control their very fate. But right now I n
eed them both happy and content
so my
next business venture runs smoothly. When that is finished, maybe I’ll think about making some changes.”

“So… What are you saying? Are you telling me that you’re not
gonna
tell Dean to back off? You’re going to let him do whatever he wants just so you can keep him around until—”

“Relax, Tyler. Dean isn’t going to
harm
Jayden. I promise you. She is absolutely off limits
to him
.”

I took a slow, deep breath
of relief
. “She doesn’t know anything,” I couldn’t help but add.

He nodded his head. “I believe you. But it doesn’t mean she won’t
someday
.” 

I shook my head. “I never want her to know.
Ever.
If everyone would just stay away from me they wouldn’t have to worry about anyone finding out. I
only
want to forget everyone and just…move on with my life.
I just want to get married and
never look back.”

After a brief pause he sighed. “Tyler, I said that I wouldn’t allow Dean to
harm
Jayden.
Physically. But now i
t also means
you can’t be with her anymore.”

“
What
?” I exclaimed, my heart dropping into my stomach. It couldn’t be true. “Are you kidding me?” His
expression
told me that he was not. “That’s
bull
,” I
said angrily.
“
Did Dean make that bargain with you?”

He paused
again but simply replied,
“Yes.”

I nearly hit the ceiling, but in order to refrain from doing so, certain words came out of my mouth instead.
He
opened
his eyes in astonishment, not used to hearing such things leave my lips. I took a deep breath and rubbed my forehead to keep from saying any more
, but it didn’t keep the anger from continuing to build
.

“I understand you’re upset, Tyler. I know you and Dean don’t get along very well
, but this is the way it has to be. I need for things inside the police department to remain as they are. I can’t have any problems right now. T
his is the only solution
I have
—”

“No, it’s not even a
solution
. How is it
solving
anything?”

“It’s fair in keeping both sides pacified.”

“Fair? Are you joking? Dean is a
prick
. He hates me. All he wants is the upper hand, a way to prove he has the power to do damage to my life. And you’re
letting
him. How is that
fair
?”

“It’s fair because you are keeping
her
safe.
If you don’t separate yourself from her, then we’re going to have to do it for you.
Do you understand what I mean
?”

I was speechless. He was honestly telling me that I had to stop seeing Jayden?
If I wanted to protect her very life, I had to give her up?
My head was w
hirling
,
and I swear the room
was
in motion
. I had to close my eyes, but then it felt like my whole body was spinning around the room.

“Tyler.”

My eyes opened and the room came to an abrupt stop
. But even though I was sitting there, I didn’t even feel like I was
there
.
It was an odd tunnel-like feeling, as if I was placed in a surreal moment without any type of tangible connection to it. It was like a dream, a nightmare, and I was stuck there until I could wake myself up.

Finally I took a deep breath, causing a bit of life to enter through me, and I felt a state of misery take up residence
instead
.

“You’ve got to do something else,” I said, my voice barely carrying.

“I’m sorry, Tyler,
”
he sighed.
“Dean and Roy have something important going on right now. It can’t fall apart right now.”

“No,” I growled. “You have to do something else. Anything. I don’t care what it is. Do you
want me to work for you? –B
ecause I’ll do
it. You just n
ame it and I’ll do it.
I can’t lose her! Please…I’ll do anything.”

I
couldn’t believe I was pleading with him.
I had never begged for anything so severely
, and at the same time I felt desperation to keep Jayden in my life, I also felt doomed anyway
.

He sighed again. “I’m sorry, b
ut this is the way it has to be.
This is bigger than you, Tyler.
”

“No,” I barely said. “I can’t do it. You’re asking too much. I think I’d rather die.”

“Well, if Dean has his way, I think that could be arranged.” He was smiling, like his humor was going to make the devastation go away.

“I’m
not even kidding.
You think I’m kidding?
I’d rather die. If I’m dead then everyone’s secrets are safe, and I won’t be alive to suffer from losing her.
You can keep makin
g your millions.
Why this?
Who am I to Dean anyway? Why is this so important to him?
Why do I have to lose the one and only good thing in my life?
Why
?”