Hope(less) (33 page)

Smiling slightly, I turned the page of the book in my lap
saying, “You don’t know him like I do.”

“How can you know him at all when you two don’t talk?”

“You don’t need to talk to get to know someone, you just
need to listen,” I said absently trying to concentrate on my reading.  My words
rattled in my head for a moment before what I said clicked into place.  I froze
and looked at Clay.  His brown eyes met mine steadily.

Damn the patient, clever dog.  I never had a chance… A smile
twitched my lips.  And I didn’t mind.

“But that’s what I’m saying.  He doesn’t talk.  What are you
listing to?”

I laughed at her and myself.  “Actions speak louder than
words,” I quoted, finally looking up from my book.  “He’s there when I need
him, he’s kind and caring, he keeps me safe, and as you’ve seen, cooks and
cleans.  What’s not to like Rachel?”

She grumbled under her breath, but didn’t have anything else
to add.

Clay walked over by her and laid on some of her dresses
ending her mutterings that I should get out and meet other people.  She laughed
at him then tried moving him.  He laid his head on his paws and winked at me. 
He wasn’t mad, but enjoyed giving Rachel some grief.

Shaking my head, I went to the fridge, leaving Rachel to tug
her dresses out from under his bulk on her own.  In the fridge, I saw a new
carton of orange juice along with a double-chocolate cake.  Two layers of
chocolate frosted goodness.  My mouth watered.

“Can I have a piece of your cake?” I begged.  I usually
ignored the food she bought, but that one begged my attention.

“I thought it was yours.  It was here when I got home,” she
called back.

I stood staring at the cake a long time.  How could I be so
blind?  He’d shrugged when I’d asked why he’d gotten his job, but the answer sat
before my eyes wrapped in layers of sinful chocolate mousse frosting.

Thinking back, I identified several of the little things I’d
previously overlooked.  Things I’d assumed Rachel had purchased, like movies
I’d mentioned wanting to see.  He’d gotten his job for
me
because of my
speech the day after we met.  My heart melted a little thinking of all the
effort he’d put into trying to be what I needed, and I knew I fought a losing
battle.

*    *    *    *

The air grew colder and snow started to fall the week before
Thanksgiving.  The wind howled outside still finding a way past the new
windows.  Despite the low-set thermostat, the heat kicked in often, and I
worried about the bill.  Even with Clay warming my feet, I added another quilt
to the bed.

Broke and out of quilts, I lay under the covers shivering. 
I wore two pairs of lounge pants, a t-shirt and a sweatshirt.  If I could just
fall asleep, I knew I’d warm eventually.  During the night, I usually stripped
to one layer.  Warming the bed just took forever… on my own.

“Screw this,” I said sitting up and pulling off my
sweatshirt.  The streetlight filtered through the curtains, so I could make out
the shapes in my room.  I tossed the sweatshirt to the closet.

Clay lifted his head, tilting it just so, questioning me.

I ignored him for the moment and shimmied out of my second
layer of pants trying to stay under the covers.  The pants soared through the
air landing next to the shirt.

“Clay, will you keep me warm tonight?” I’d barely whispered
the words when he jumped off the bed.

A moment later, he pulled back the covers and joined me.  He
wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to his chest… bare chest.  I sighed
and pressed my face against it, warming my cold nose.  My free arm, I wrapped
around his waist while I tucked my feet under his calves.  He grunted slightly,
but didn’t loosen his hold.

“No more fur at night.  Deal?”  The blankets and his chest
muffled my voice, but I knew he heard me.

He kissed the top of my head, the only part exposed.

I smiled knowing it meant yes.

The next morning my cell phone rang, waking me.  Still
wrapped in Clay’s warmth, I didn’t move right away.  He reached over me
plucking it from the bedpost and handed it to me.  Only Sam and Rachel had my
number.

I could hear movement in the house and looked at the
display, expecting Sam’s number.  Instead, it was one I didn’t recognize.

I answered with a questioning ‘hello’.

“Gabby, I found her, but…”

“Luke?” I asked.  I hadn’t heard from him since we’d left
the compound.

“Yes.  I understand you think she’s important, but she’s not
even eighteen.  How am I supposed to get her to come with me?”

I sat up excitedly knocking back covers in the process and
exposing us both to the cool air.  Clay grunted a complaint.

“I can’t believe you actually found her!  I need to talk to
her.  If she’s like me, which I think she is, you had better bring her to the
compound.  I hate to admit it, but the Elders need to know.”

“Fine.  You better be there when we get there,” he said with
an edge.  The line went dead.

I pulled the phone from my ear to look at it, puzzled.  Luke
never had an edge.  Slowly I grinned.  Had I been right?  Was he now dealing
with his potential mate?  Smiling hugely, I hoped she gave Mr. Confident a
little hell.

With the freeze came the night Rachel thawed toward Clay,
the man.  A heavy snow started to fall just as Clay and I went to bed.  Asking
him to sleep beside me every night was the best decision I ever made.  I
finally understood that
I
determined the pace of our relationship.  He’d
waited patiently for me to invite him in and would wait patiently for the next
step, whatever I decided that would be.

For the second time in the same week, my phone pulled me from
my warm cocoon, this time displaying a number I recognized.  Rachel wanted to
let me know she’d planned to come home instead of going to Peter’s since we
were closer.  She’d caught on that Clay spent the night now.

Clay, hearing her plans to come home, got out of bed.  Puzzled,
I watched him dress in warm clothes.  He left the room.  Listening, I followed
his progress to the kitchen.  The back door opened and closed.  A minute later,
I heard the scrape of a shovel on the driveway.  I smiled and burrowed in,
moving to his warmed spot.

The sounds of the plow going past the house scrapping the
road in an otherwise silent world kept me awake.  He stayed out there until she
came home, keeping the entrance to the driveway clear.  I heard her thanking
Clay as they came in together.  He didn’t say anything in return, but I
imagined he gave her one of his rare nods.

When he came back into the bedroom, I flipped back the
covers for him and moved out of his place.

“I was just keeping it warm for you,” I lied.

He laughed and curled around me.  Even after being outside so
long, he still warmed me.

My lids grew heavy and he kissed the top of my head.

*    *    *    *

With the long holiday around the corner, I needed cross a
few things off my mental checklist.  First thing, I needed to do:  Pin down my
next victim for a power swap.  After that, I needed to talk to Sam and hope for
answers.

I’d planned to test my ability on Rachel before I went back
to the compound, but Clay watched me closely.  Since he knew something happened
when I touched other people, he subtly kept everyone out of reach.  I pretended
not to notice so he wouldn’t become even more suspicious.

My luck turned in my favor when Rachel texted me asking to meet
her and Peter for lunch.  Having just left my morning class, the timing
couldn’t have worked better.  She suggested a small ma and pa diner close to
the campus.  The same one Clay and I had walked too so long ago for our sunrise
breakfast.  I quickly agreed rushing over the scrapped sidewalks to my car.

I drove the few blocks to the diner cautiously.  The salt on
the roads made everything slushy and my worn tires liked to slide when I least
expected them to.  Easing into the crowded parking lot, I snagged a spot near
the door.

Through the windows, I spied Rachel and Peter already
snuggled in a booth.  They didn’t notice me park or get out of the car.  They
stared at each other.  I saw their lips moving in quiet conversation.  Rachel
kept stopping to grin at Peter.

I opened the door, blasting the patrons briefly with the
frigid air.  It caught Rachel and Peter’s attention.  They watched me approach both
wearing secret smiles.  I slid in across from them, the vinyl seat squeaking,
and peeled off my hat and gloves.  The warmth of the room had my cheeks heating
and turning red in seconds.

“Hi, guys.  This is a nice surprise.  What’s the occasion?” 
As soon as I said it, I noticed the glint on her ring finger.  “Oh, wow…” it
came out sounding as stunned as I felt.  The rational side of me said it was
too soon, but the part of me that saw them together, saw their synchronized
pulses, knew it was perfect.

“Peter proposed last night and I said yes.”  Rachel’s
happiness bubbled from her.

I stood and reached across the table to hug her.  She
bounced up from her seat and excitedly hugged me back.  I grabbed hold of the opportunity. 
Focusing, I repeated what I’d thought and felt the other times I’d shocked
someone.  Was she doing the right thing?  Was Peter the right one for her? 
What if I was wrong?  I dredged up all my concerns and hope for her, held it
tight within me and then let it flow through to her.

The shock jolted us both apart immediately.  The intensity
of it burned my fingertips.  Rachel sat back down next to Peter, snuggling
close and laughing about the shock.  I sat too, smiling at her, pretending to
listen while I opened my sight wide, forcing the full view of the world as I’d seen
when I’d shocked Luke.  It strained me a bit, but I didn’t let go.  This time I
really looked.  The tiny sparks of all living beings covered the world.  I
focused in, zooming the view so I could see the occupants of the diner in
detail.

Peter and Rachel pulsed in time as usual.  I expected Peter
to be different somehow to signify his match with Rachel, but I couldn’t see
anything unusual.  They did perhaps appear a bit dimmer, like their light had
faded.  I remembered that happening when I touched Luke and pulled back from
such a close up view.

While I looked at Rachel’s tiny spark, something caught my
eye.  Faint pulses rippled out from her.  Much like the ripples made by a
pebble thrown into a pond they spread outward, passing through all other sparks. 
It approached Charlene’s spark.  Instead of passing through, it bounced off and
came speeding back.

Startled, I scanned the sparks, zooming in and out as needed
until I identified five uniquely colored sparks like me.  The ripples helped me
find them because, for those five, the ripples didn’t pass through them. 
Instead, they bounced off and came flying back.  Right at me, not Rachel.

The return wave of the spark midway between Charlene and me reached
me.  I absorbed it and a wave of dizziness rushed through me.  The same first
indication of the drain I felt each prior time.  I watched Charlene’s wave
approach and knew that when it hit, I’d get worse.  It made sense now, how I
grew weak and sick shortly after transferring my ability.  Each hit of return
energy knocked me further on my butt.  If I’d paid more attention to it before,
I would have noticed it when I shocked Nicole and the other girls.  But why did
it act different when I touched Luke?  Why did just one of the five become
focused?  I still needed to figure out so much.  For now, the clock ticked,
counting down the time until I’d turn into a shaking mess.

I’d noted all of this in the few short seconds it’d taken
for Rachel’s surprised expression to clear.  Before she could say anything
about my momentary pause I said, “I’m so happy for both of you.”

I smiled while I braced myself for Charlene’s energy wave just
minutes away.

“Gabby, when Peter proposed, we both decided we’d tortured you
and Scott enough and should get our own place.  So as soon as we find something
I plan on moving out.  I wanted to give you as much time as possible to find a
roommate before I actually left.”

With everything happening, this was the worst timing.  Would
another roommate really put up with Clay the moody dog, or Clay the mute man?  I
couldn’t blame her though.  I knew she missed Peter when they were apart.

Her announcement and the continued strain of staying focused
on the lights on such a vast scale for so long took their toll.  My head
started to pound.  Seeing the second wave rushing toward me, I couldn’t help
the slight wince when the pounding in my head increased to full force.  I
clenched my teeth to keep them from chattering.

Thankfully, Rachel still wore her love-goggles and didn’t notice.

“Don’t worry about me.  Clay will be there enough that I’ll
make him pay the other half of the rent.  So, did you set a date?”

Rachel took over the conversation with wedding plans until Peter
glanced at his watch and reminded her of their next class.  She pouted
playfully.  I smiled, barely holding back a shiver, and assured her we’d make
time to talk wedding stuff soon.  The third wave hit me, stunning me.  Two to
go and they weren’t far off.

“You feeling alright?” Peter asked as they stood. “You look
very pale.”

“I’m fine.  I skipped breakfast and I think my blood sugar
is getting revenge.  It will pass.”  I made a show out of picking up a fry and
eating it.  My stomach rebelled.

“You should have that tested,” Peter warned, helping Rachel
into her jacket.

I nodded, reaching for the ketchup while they walked out the
door.  Squirting a big pile on my plate, I looked up in time to wave to Rachel
as they backed out of their spot.  I pretended to nibble on a fry, watching
their car.  Once they left, I dug out my cell with shaking hands and dialed Dale’s
Auto Body.  It looked like I would need to miss a few more classes.