Hope(less) (15 page)

Peter considerately picked a parking spot for himself with a
free space next to it for me.  Clay unwedged himself as I parked.  I grabbed
the leash and snapped it on.  He watched me exit and hopped out after me staying
close to my side as we walked.

Rachel and Peter politely included me in their
conversation.  It helped distract me from my nervousness about meeting Peter’s
friend.  I knew what to expect even if neither Rachel nor Clay fully
understood.  Peter’s lack of reaction to me had pleasantly surprised me.  But
his response wasn’t the norm.  I just hoped Clay would behave.

Scott waited for us at one of the tables outside.  Peter had
texted him the change of plans before we left.  He stood when he saw Peter, a
welcoming smile on his face, his hands loosely in his pockets.  From a
distance, I saw several female patrons sitting at nearby tables casting
speculative glances his way.  Fit and tall with light brown hair and a carefree
smile, no doubt his good looks warranted it.  But something about the way he
held himself bothered me.  It sent off an insincere vibe as if he’d practiced his
pose.

His smile turned secretive and cunning as his pale blue eyes
fixated on me.  The subtle change probably escaped everyone else’s notice, but
not mine.  Depressed, but hiding it well, I rested a hand on Clay’s back.  Whether
in comfort or restraint, I couldn’t be sure.

“Scott, this is Gabby,” Peter introduced us when we stood next
to the table.

I smiled a tentative greeting, not offering my hand.

“A pretty name you don’t hear often,” he murmured pulling out
a chair for me.  Taking that chair would put me across from Rachel, forcing me
to sit between the two guys.  Clay wouldn’t like that.  He didn’t like the
comment about my name either, but other than a twitch I’d felt with my hand on
his back he behaved.

“Would you mind if we switched spots, Scott?  That way our
dog,” I said, including Rachel since she fully supported Clay’s rights, “won’t be
so close to people walking by.  He’s very friendly, but big.  I don’t want
anyone being intimidated by him.”

“No problem.”  He sent me a reassuring smile and pulled out
his own chair for me.  Loosely holding Clay’s leash, I moved to the chair next
to Rachel.  Scott politely pushed the chair back in as I sat and leaned close
to move his drink.  Clay quickly moved to lie between my chair and Scott’s,
which he nudged further away before Scott could sit.  I pretended not to
notice.

We made small talk while we perused the menus.  I felt Scott’s
gaze continually return to me, but refused to look up.

Each of the more experienced students shared their knowledge
of the university, after we ordered.  Scott offered, twice, to take me on an
official tour when I admitted not knowing many of the campus locations they
mentioned.  After declining the second time, he looked less like the nice guy I’d
met and more like a guy who would give me problems.  I looked down at Clay.  He
still lay next to me, head on his paws.  Only the twitch of his ears indicated his
attention to the conversation.

“Why not have a drink with us, Gabby?” Scott asked
indicating my water.

He hadn’t worried about what I drank until I’d evaded his
invitations for a tour.

“I’m a bit younger than the rest of you.”  I glanced at
Rachel and saw her studying me.  Crap!  Was she noticing?  Was she getting mad? 
I should have stayed home.  Folding my hands in my lap, I tried to play it
cool.

“Really?  How old are you?”

“Eighteen.  I’m not much of a soda drinker either, so water
works.”  I tried to turn the conversation off myself, asking, “How much longer
until you graduate?”

“It depends on how far I want to go,” Scott said his intense
smile relaxing a little.  He nodded toward Peter.  “Peter told me he declared
his major freshman year and has never changed.  I, on the other hand, have
changed twice.  I like what I’m learning now, so I hope I won’t change it again,
but you never know.  What about you?”

“I’m going for massage therapy.  So I won’t be here as long
as the rest of you.”

“Massage therapy?  I hear they ask for volunteers to come in
for those classes,” he said leaning in closer with a fascinated smile on his
face.  “If you ever need someone to practice on, let me know.  I’d be happy to
come in.”  He reached over to pat my hand.  The timely arrival of our food
saved me from having to avoid his touch.  It would have been awkward since my
hands still rested in my lap.

Clay nudged my leg to get my attention, his nose
surprisingly warm and dry.  He stared at me and then shifted his gaze to Scott,
who remained distracted moving his drink for the waitress.  Clay returned his
glance to me and pulled his lips back in a silent snarl.  Without the growl, it
looked more like a scary crazy wolf smile, but I got his meaning.  Scott was
getting on Clay’s nerves, and Clay wouldn’t put up with too much more of
Scott’s poor attempts at flirting.

Food delivered, I thought I would be spared from more
conversation, but Peter spoke up.  “I think you’ll both be in some of the
anatomy classes next semester, Gabby.  If you want a study group, you should
let Rachel and I know.  I’ve already been through them,” here he gazed admiringly
at Rachel, “and since you’re graduating in spring, I know you have to.”

“Thank you, Peter, but I really do study best on my…”  I tried
declining, but Scott interrupted.

“That’s a great idea.  We should start now so the class
won’t be so hard later.  What do you think about Tuesday nights?”

“It’s a good idea to get a head start,” I said ignoring Clay’s
insistent bump against my leg, “but I’m so swamped with classes and homework
now that I don’t even have time to take poor Clay for walks.”  I reached over
to pat Clay reassuringly, but stopped when I noticed Scott’s gaze drop to my
chest.  The cowl neck dipped away from me when I reached to pet Clay revealing
a little glimpse of the shadows within.  Scott’s eyes went from glassy fixation
to glazed obsession.  This was getting ridiculous.

Turning back to my dinner, I ate a few bites quickly,
preventing me from conversing.  Unfortunately, Scott took the opportunity to
try to slide his chair a little closer.  Thankfully, Clay didn’t give an inch.

“What’s your dog’s name?” Scott asked looking down at Clay.

Rachel answered seeing my mouth full.  “Clay.”

Clay, I noticed, didn’t look up at the sound of his name,
but instead tensed, laying his ears back.  Time to go.

“Nice name,” Scott commented absently.  “Let’s bring him
home after this and go out to a new club I heard was opening downtown.”

“Rachel?”  I looked at her pleadingly, hoping she’d know
that I wasn’t begging to go out dancing.

Her perceptive gaze locked on Scott.  “I see it,” she said
with a serious expression.

“See what?” Peter asked puzzled.

“Exhaustion,” she answered smoothly, “She’s been studying
like crazy.”  She waived over the waitress asking for boxes and the check for
the two of us.  “And she needs rest, not a night out.”  She looked at Peter
with a smile.  “Although, I’m really glad we came.”  My weak smile didn’t cover
my gratitude at her diplomacy.

I reached for my purse, which I’d hung on the back of the
chair and Scott moved to grab my hand, desperation clear on his face.  Clay
stood abruptly knocking Scott’s hand out of the way.

Hurrying now, I pulled out a twenty and laid it on the table
while Rachel continued talking to Peter. “I better drive her home.  You have my
number.  Give me a call if you want to do something next weekend.”

The waitress came back with the bill and the wrapped up leftovers. 
Since Rachel still dug in her purse, I just handed the waitress the twenty
after a quick glance at the bill, willingly paying for Rachel to help us leave
faster.  I also told her to keep the change, not wanting to wait.  Two burgers
and one drink left her a decent tip.  I stood and Rachel shadowed me, ready to
go.

Clay bumped into me knocking me off balance so I had to grab
Rachel for support.  I turned, seeing that Scott stood now too, handing the
waitress his portion of the bill.  Poor Peter looked at us all, bewildered. 
His night out with Rachel was falling apart fast and I truly felt bad about it.

“Rachel, you can stay with Peter.  I don’t mind taking Gabby
home,” Scott offered enthusiastically.

I minded!  I didn’t even need to look at Rachel for her to
decline.  “No, Scott, I think we’re done for tonight.”  She waved to Peter and
grabbed my hand.

I went with Rachel willingly, relieved to escape before
Scott’s desperation grew.  Hearing an “oof” behind me, I panicked realizing I’d
forgotten Clay and spun around in time to see Scott hit the ground.  He’d
tripped over Clay in his hurry to catch me.  I suspected Clay had been purposely
trying to slow Scott down.

Clay wasted no time.  He ran to me, bumping his head against
my back to get me moving before Scott picked himself up again.

I heard Peter say, “What the hell is wrong with you man? 
You come on too…” Their conversation faded as we quickly walked away letting
Peter deal with Scott.

“I’m sorry,” Rachel apologized.  “You told me, but I didn’t
really get it until tonight.  Even the men sitting around us were eyeing you.”

Too busy keeping an eye on Scott and Clay, I hadn’t noticed
them.

We continued to speed walk to the car, taking no chances.  “No
big deal.  You should see me in some of my classes.  ‘No’ is the most common
word in my vocabulary.”  I handed Rachel the keys when we reached the car. 
“You really can drive.”

She nodded and we got in.  Clay climbed into the back,
stretching out so his head lay on the console between the two front seats.

“Scott’s reaction was worse than most because he already
considered me his date.  If you say ‘no’, consistently and to everyone, it
doesn’t get so bad.”

Halfway home she pulled into a gas station, saying, “Tonight’s
an ice cream night.  Be right back.”  She jumped out and strode into the convenience
station with the determination of a girl on a shopping spree.

Laying my head back, I sighed, and my hand found its way to
Clay’s soft fur, petting his head and ears.  He let out a gusty sigh, but
stayed still so I figured he didn’t mind.  I was just glad he wasn’t rubbing in
that it’d been a disaster of a night out.

Turning, I looked out the window, watching traffic zip past,
and allowed myself just a small amount of self-pity.  I would never be normal. 
I would never have a normal date.  I kept trying to mold myself into something I
could never be.  Clay lifted his head under my hand and I reigned in my
emotions knowing he could sense my melancholy.

“I’m fine,” I whispered turning to meet his gaze.  “How are
you doing?”  He scooted forward to lay his head on my lap in response.  Yeah,
that was pretty much how I felt.

The door opened startling us both.  Rachel slid in behind
the wheel and handed me the bag. “I got double fudge brownie for each of us. 
Sorry Clay, chocolate’s poison for dogs, none for you.”  She made me smile.

When we got home, I went right to my room to change.  Clay
stayed with Rachel as she praised his good behavior and good sense to trip
Scott when he started following us.  No doubt, he’d get the other half of her
burger before I finished.  Tossing the shirt into the closet, vowing never to
wear it again, I pulled on the comfortable clothes I slept in.

Shaking off my mood, I walked into the kitchen asking,
“Where’s my chocolate?”

Clay moved to my side and I patted him again.  I’d asked a
lot of him tonight and he deserved a real reward.  He’d been surviving on
leftovers from Rachel and sandwiches.  Tomorrow, we’d go to the store and I’d
buy him a big steak.

Rachel handed me my pint with a spoon already in it.  She’d already
dug into hers.  After eating another spoonful with a blissful groan, she said,
“I’m going to go change,” and set her container of ice cream on the table.  “Want
to watch a movie or something?”  Rachel asked as she stripped out of her shirt
on her way to her bedroom.

I looked at the wall clock savoring another spoonful of ice
cream.  It was only seven, but I was tired.  With a sigh, I put the lid back on
and tucked it in the near empty freezer.

“What do you think?” I asked Clay, noting he watched me and
not the strip tease Rachel unknowingly put on, or the chocolate ice cream she’d
left unguarded.  “Stay up and watch a movie, or go to bed early?  Lead the
way.”  I waved him forward and he trotted through the living room to my room.

“Rach, we’re just going to go to bed early.  ‘K?”  I leaned
against the wall in the living room waiting for her answer.

“It’s okay.  Go ahead.  I won’t keep you up with a movie,
will I?”  She glided past me to flop on the couch wearing short shorts and a
tank top for bed.

“I’m so tired I doubt anything will keep me from sleeping.”

“Night, hun.  Thanks for going with me even if it did
suck.”  She turned on the movie and I walked into my room closing the door
behind me.

Clay lay on the foot of the bed, his
usual spot.  His head rested on his paws with his eyes open waiting for me.

“Thanks Clay,” I said walking into the room.  As I passed
him, I stopped to kiss the top of his furry head.  He made a funny grunt noise
making me smile.  Probably his wolf version of, ‘no problem’.  I crawled under
the covers wiggling my feet under his body to the spot he already warmed.

I felt Clay relax a moment before he let out a gusty sigh. 
He started to breathe deeply and I tried to relax as well.  Going on a double
date hadn’t turned out as bad as it could have.

It was still dark when I woke.  Not only dark, but also
colder.  The mild weather we’d enjoyed last night while eating outside fled
with the sun.  I nestled under the covers trying to avoid the chill in the air. 
Definitely not getting out of bed.  Stretching my legs for Clay’s weighted
warmth, I felt nothing, his spot cool.