Honor Reclaimed (All About Honor) (7 page)

As they returned to earth, their
bodies began to cool down and Eirian became chilled even in front of the
fireplace.
 
John could feel her
trembling and drew her closer to him to share his warmth.
 
He could not resist kissing her
forehead.
 
His lips lingered
against her skin.
 
She tilted her
face up to him and pulled his lips down to hers.
 
This was all the invitation John needed.
 
He kissed her deeply, working his
tongue into her mouth fencing with her tongue.
 
His hands were already busy again with her breast.
 
He could not believe how quickly his
body was able to respond after being so completely satisfied only minutes
before.
 
He was as fully erect as
he had been his first time when he was sixteen years old.
 
Eirian body was still hot and she was
ready as well.
 
He mounted her once
again, but this time he took his time and made sure that she reached her climax
before he allowed
himself
release.
 
After his spasms finally subsided,
rather than just collapsing on top of her again, he held himself above her and
covered her face with tender kisses.
 
Finally, he returned to her side and pulled her close again putting her
head to his shoulder.
 
He held her
against him until they fell into a sound sleep.

They both sleep soundly for
sometime.
 
John awakened first and
just lay there looking down at Eirian.
 
He was trying to make sense of what had just happened.
 
This young woman who was suppose to be
his wife in name only was threatening to become a very important part of his
life.
 
He was completely satisfied,
physically and even deeper.
 
He
could not help but feel like this was a betrayal of his precious wife.
 
He was still having trouble remembering
that Eirian was now his wife.
 
Would he always think of Johane as his true wife and Eirian as more of a
mistress, albeit a legal one?
 
Actually, this was a concept that he could live with.
 
Why should he not enjoy her sexually as
his mistress, which was so common among men of his class- although he had never
felt the need of one, yet reserve his heart for Johane?
 
Yes, that was what he would do.
 
He felt much better now that he had
reasoned that out.

Eirian could feel John’s eyes on
her.
 
The heat of his gaze was so
intense that it had awakened her.
 
She was still caught in the after glow of their lovemaking and to her
that was exactly what it was.
 
She
loved him beyond comprehension.
 
He
had to feel at least a little bit that way himself, she felt sure.

“Eirian, are you awake?”
 
He felt her nod yes.
 
“I think we have more than pushed our
luck.
 
The servants are sure to be
looking for us so they can serve supper.
 
Let me help you up and help you get dressed.”
 
He took her hand and pulled her to her feet.
 
He could not help himself when he
started to get hard again just watching her breast sway as she came to her
feet.
 
This time he could control
himself.
 
He was not an
animal.
 
He could not, however;
resist reaching out to fondle her breast just more time.
 
Thirty minutes later they finally began
to redress, totally exhausted and completely satiated.

Chapter 3

Several mornings later John called
Eirian’s maid into his study.
 
He
had thought for days about the best way to handle the situation, and had decided
that honesty, as usual, was the best policy.
 
He knew he was taking a chance, but he trusted his servants
and had come to respect their honesty and judgment in most matters.
 
“Joan, I do not often find it necessary
to explain myself to the servants, but I feel the need to make an exception to
this rule.
 
I know what you saw, or
at least what you think you saw, a few weeks hence.
 
You have always been a trustworthy and loyal servant to my
wife, and as such, I feel like I do owe you an explanation, but first I need a
promise from you that you will keep this conversation strictly between us.
 
Can you give me your word?”
 
John held his breath.

“Yes sir.
 
You have my word.”
 
Joan was willing to listen to what he had to say although she could not
imagine anything he had to say would change her feelings.

“The night that Eirian arrived, I
was in my office where, as you know, I had been drinking heavily most of the
three previous days- since Johane left us.”
 
John’s voice cracked as it always did when he spoke of his
lost love.
 
“Eirian came
immediately to my side and put her arms around me trying to comfort me.
 
In my state, I mistook her for Johane
and thought that she had returned to me.
 
I forced myself on Eirian; it was in no way her fault.
 
She was the victim of my drunken
confusion.
 

Once my mind cleared, and I realized
what I had done, I was horrified.
 
I could not undo the damage and was trying to muddle through the best
way to make things right again.
 

As you might expect, Eirian was in
shock.
 
I made her drink some
brandy to calm her nerves.
 
Being
unused to spirits and suffering from the shock of her...” John had trouble even
saying the words, and it came out in almost a whisper, “…rape, I had to carry
her to her room.
 
I dismissed you
so that you would not see the evidence of what had transpired.
 
I waited for several minutes thinking
that you had retired; then I slipped back in her room to assist her in
undressing and to repair as much damage as possible. That is how you found
us.
 
There was nothing I could do
to repair the damage to Eirian physically, but I needed to do what I could to
repair her reputation.
 

I know you loved your mistress and
she was exceedingly fond of you.
 
I
would hope that you would serve her sister as loyally as you did my wife.
 
She will need you in the months to come
especially since, as is often known to happen in these circumstances, she is
expecting a baby as a result of that night.
 
I need you to protect her from gossip among the servants
once her condition is discovered.
 
Can I count on your loyalty?”

“Thank you Sir for telling me what
really happened.
 
The poor little
mistress, innocent as a lamb she was, and I though she was a heartless
strumpet.
 
When she most needed
another woman to help her deal with her shock I turned my back on her.
 
I was very angry.
 
If I could have found another position
by now I would have.
 
Normally I do
not stoop to gossip, but I fear I would have ruined her reputation as angry as
I was. You have my promise. I will serve the new mistress as I did her
sister.
 
Can you imagine, two wee
babes in one year?
 
We will be a
busy household for sure!”
 
Joan was
so relieved.
 
She did not want to
leave the home where she had lived happily for the last ten years.
 
Her master and mistress had been fair
and decent people and she had nearly ruined their reputations.
 
Well it would be up to her to keep the
staff from speculating when the mistress’s condition became apparent.
 
It was shocking, but the poor master,
he did not mean to harm the poor little thing and he had done the honorable
thing as soon as possible to try to right his wrong.
 
Everything would work out for the best, she was just sure of
it.

“Now, if you would be so kind, I
would like you to take dry toast and tea to your mistress.
 
Not surprisingly, she is having
difficulty in the mornings these days.”

Joan found Eirian on her knees in
front of the chamber pot wiping her mouth.
 
She was a pale as a ghost and her hair was damp and matted
against her forehead.
 
“Oh, my poor
little mistress, let me help you back to bed.”
 
Joan helped her to her feet and back into bed.
 
“I think you would feel better if you
had a little something on your stomach.
 
I brought you some dry toast and tea at master’s request.
 
It is just what the doctor
ordered.
 
Now let me put this
pillow behind your back.”
 
Joan
placed the tray on Eirian’s lap and smoothed a napkin on her gown.

“Joan, thank you, but I do not think
I can take a bite right now.”
 
Eirian said.

“Oh mistress, you must.
 
Think of the baby,” Joan encouraged.

“How do you know about the
baby?
 
It doesn’t show yet does
it?”
 
Eirian placed her had over
her belly as if she expected to find it bulging.

“Oh no mistress, it will be sometime
yet before you show.
 
You do not
have to worry about your secret just yet.
 
The master told me what happened and how it happened.
 
He feels so guilty.
 
There never was a kinder man.
 
Please do not blame him for what
happened.
 
It was God’s will I am
sure,” Joan assured her.

“I am surprised he told you.
 
You know that he thought I was my sister.
 
Joan, he does not love me, he just
married me to make things right.”
 
Eirian broke down and cried.
 

“It’s alright Mistress.
 
You are just feeling emotional right
now because of the baby.
 
You are
family of course he loves you.
 
You
have known him most of your life which is more than most young girls can say
when they marry.
 
He has always
been good to you.
 
I have seen that
through the years.
 
He may not be in-love with you the way you want right now, but that
will come with time
,
I am sure
.
 
Try not to upset yourself too much for
the baby’s sake.”
 
Joan smoothed
Eirian’s hair back out of her face.
 
“Now take a sip of this tea.
 
That’s a good girl.
 
Now eat
just a little bite of toast.
 
Good.
 
Let’s see how that
settles and then we’ll try some more.”

Eirian eventually ate most of the
breakfast and she did feel better.
 
Joan helped her to dress.
 
“Fresh air, that’s what you need.
 
It is such a pretty morning, why don’t you take a stroll in the gardens
for a few minutes?
 
Your sister
loved the garden so much.
 
Maybe
you will find some peace there.”

“That does sound good.
 
I will look in on the children
first.”
 
The nursery was on the
third floor.
 
Eirian found William busy
at his studies, and Gwenillian and Lettus busy playing with their dolls.
 
The baby was asleep in his cradle.
 
Nanny was busy with the girls while the
tutor was working with William on his sums.
 
Johane had hired a helper for Nanny, as she was getting a
bit too old to manage the children on her own.
 
The helper took most of the responsibility for baby John
when he was not with the wet nurse.
 
Eirian was glad to see that her sister had organized things so well for
her children.
 
There was actually
very little that she needed to do.

Nanny looked up and saw Eirian
standing there, “Madame, please come in.
 
The children will be so happy to see you.
 
Children look who is here.”

“Aunt Eirian, Aunt Eirian,” Lettus
ran to Eirian with her arms up.
 
Eirian scooped her up in her arms and swung her around as the little
girl squealed with joy.
 
Eirian set
the child down quickly as a wave of nausea and dizziness overcame her.
 
She quickly grasped the back of the
closest chair to steady herself until her head stopped spinning and her stomach
stopped churning.

Once she felt in control again, she
smiled down at the child.
 
“How is
my little girl this morning?
 
Are
you behaving yourself and minding Nanny.”
 
Eirian asked trying to act normally, unaware that she was pale as a
ghost, and slightly green around the edges.
 
She was unaware that Nanny was watching her closely and with
a knowing eye.

“Oh yes.
 
Well mostly.
 
Nanny says I shouldn’t hit Gwenny when she takes my doll.
 
It is my dolly not hers and she won’t give
it to me.”
 
Eirian found it very
difficult to look stern at that precious little face that was looking up at
her.

“Lettie, you mustn’t hit your sister
for any reason.
 
She is smaller
than you, and you need to be patient with her.
 
You must ask nicely and if she will not give it to you then
you must tell Nanny.
 
How would you
little ladies like to go for a walk with me in the gardens?”
 
Eirian asked.

Her answer was more squeals from
Lettus, but Gwenillian continued to hold back.
 
“Gwenny, come here to Aunt Eirian.
 
I need a Gwenny kiss this morning.”

“No, I don’t want you, I want my
Mommy”, the little girl cried.
 
By
the time Eirian lifted the crying girl in her arms the other children were
crying for their mother, in fact, there was not a dry eye in the room.

Eirian held Gwenny in her arms and
rocked her back and forth trying to soothe her.
 
“We all miss your Mommy.
 
If I could give her back to you I would, but I cannot.
 
The best I can do is to try to love you
as much as she did and to take good care of you the way she took good care of
me when I was little.
 
You know I
love you, and I know you love me.
 
We will get through this together.
 
That is what your Mommy would have wanted us to do.”
 

“Do you really think so?
 
Would she have wanted you to be my new
Mommy?”
 
The little girl looked up
trustingly at Eirian.

“I am sure of it!
 
Now let’s go outside, how about it
girls.”
 
Eirian asked.

“That’s not fair!”
 
William complained.
 
“Why do I have to stay inside while
they get to go outside?”

“For two reason, first you and I
went riding the other day and the girls did not get to go, and second is that
you have your studies to attend to.
 
We will do something together later.”
 
Eirian hated to disappoint the boy, but she knew she had to
establish some boundaries right away.

“Well I guess I do not have a
choice.
 
Do you promise we can do
something together?” he asked.

“Yes, I do.
 
Are you girls ready?”
 
Eirian took one of each of their hands
in hers as the descended the staircase.
 
Nanny followed them down the stairs just in case she was needed.

They spent a good hour chasing
butterflies and cutting flowers to refill the vases in the main hall and
parlor.
 
Eirian sat on the bench
that was in the shade of the tree at the edge of the gardens.
 
Before long Gwenny climbed up in her
lap and began to rub her eyes sleepily.
 
Within just a few minutes she was sound asleep.