Home for Christmas (16 page)

“I don’t know what she’s told you,
but remember, she embellishes …”

“Robert,” Savannah uttered sternly,
“don’t go there,” she warned, glaring him into silence. “Courtney is one of my
best friends,” she said gravely while he dropped his head into his hands,
seemingly ashamed. “I know this …
relationship
… has been going on
awhile,” she paused, waiting for a response, and after a reluctant nod, she
finally breathed a sigh of relief. Perhaps it would be easier than she thought.
“And I want you to know … I’m okay with that.”

“You are?” he asked, quickly
lifting his head, his weary eyes filled with surprise … and relief.

“Truly,” she said, smiling
graciously.

He jumped up from the leather chair
and leaped over to the couch where she sat, grabbing her hands. “I’ve never
felt guiltier in my entire life,” he confessed. “Things just started happening,
and I was powerless to stop them. She’s different now, you know. Not so
out
there
. Or maybe … I’m less conservative than I used to be. I don’t know,
Savannah, but it just works with us. It’s like … electric.”

Savannah held her hand up to ward
off further confession with a watery smile. “I don’t need to know more,” she
said while her face blushed a pretty pink. She would admit it felt a little
weird, discussing his relationship with her very best friend, but at the same
time, she also felt a stronger sense of what she’d felt earlier, a release,
even … a freedom she didn’t realize she’d needed.

“Robert, we’ve been best friends
since birth, really. We are so much better friends than we could ever be life
partners. We’re too much alike,” she said honestly after they’d given each
other a brotherly, sisterly hug.

“Not anymore,” he said, running his
hands through his hair with a devilish smile.

“Yeah, about that,” she said with a
grimace. “What’s up with that?” she said gesturing somewhere near his head.

“Courtney was always attracted to
the less than conservative type guys. While I was away, I found that I could be
that guy,” he said smiling.

“Robert … don’t change,” she
admonished more seriously. “I can promise you that Courtney loves you just the
way you are. Strange as that may be,” she teased. “Here’s hoping you go back to
the
old
Robert.”

“I’ll always love you, you know,” he
said seriously. “Part of you will always be my girl. Are you horribly upset?”

Feeling her pride pricked a little
that he was portraying her as the jilted lover, to which she most definitely
was not, Savannah decided to overcome that inaccurate assumption and instead
focus on his admission of brotherly love. And when she did, she felt the tears
springing too close to the surface once again. It wasn’t that she held any
romantic notions, it was that she
didn’t
, if that made sense. It was
just another closure, and that was hard. It also made her feel emotional
watching that spark of endearing love in his eye as he talked about Courtney,
an exact mirror image of what she saw reflected in Courtney’s. Such an unlikely
pair, yet so perfectly matched.

“Now about last night,” she said
after wiping her eyes. “What was that all about? Knowing what I know now … how
could
you do that? My relationships are not your concern, especially now.”

“Why do you care that he thinks
you’re in a relationship with me?”

“
Because it isn’t the truth
.
I’m not. And I wasn’t last night … even before knowing … this.”

“You have feelings for him?” he
asked caustically.

“Robert,” she said, growing
exasperated. “I have a
business
relationship with him, and I care a
whole lot about that. I have a contract that doesn’t end until the end of the
month. You made me look …”

He shrugged, interrupting her.
“There were so many things happening last night. I’ve got a lot of irons in the
fire, some huge investment opportunities that I’m doing on my own and yet
they’re all tied together. I was trying to hide my feelings for Courtney from
you, and still protect you because of our long friendship. When I saw Austin
Douglass drooling all over you, I couldn’t help myself.”

“He wasn’t drooling,” she answered
in surprise. “He’s not like that.”

“You’re not a guy. He drools. From
what I understand … he drools a lot.”

“I don’t believe that,” she
answered honestly. “I’ve never seen that side of him.”

“Of course not,” he exclaimed.
“You’re a woman!”

“We’re just friends, Robert, we
seem to work well together. That’s all you saw last night.”

“Maybe on your part,” he laughed
without humor. “He was drooling … and I didn’t like it one bit. He’s a bit of a
ladies’ man,” he grumbled.

“What is he going to think when he sees
you and Courtney together?” she asked, changing the subject.

“I doubt that’ll happen.”

“Of course he will! Think of all
the social events coming up in the next few weeks. You both will be at each
one. This is really a mess and isn’t fair that I have to clean up.”

He shrugged in that charming way
that had worked to his advantage his entire life. She knew at this point, he
wouldn’t be of any help extricating herself from the confusing mess. She’d have
to think long and hard about when and if she would say anything to explain or
clear up the confusion. Perhaps it was best left alone.

Instead of defending Austin
further, she just smiled, once again giving him a hug and thanking him for his
honesty. She also warned him to be careful with Courtney, to which he beamed a
welcoming smile. The awkwardness was gone. A huge relief.

Letting herself out into the brisk
night air, Savannah stood at her car, glancing around the now darkened but
familiar street, at the Christmas lights sparkling on almost every historic home
on the row. It was a wonderland to her. An absolute delight and one that she
would miss with every fiber of her being. She knew for sure that she’d be
leaving Seattle in mere weeks for she had finally accepted the offer from
Target as it had a better financial package. The downside was that it meant
she’d be living in Minneapolis rather than here.

The next week was filled with
idyllic days for Savannah. Unlike previous years when her retail demands
dictated her schedule, this year, she was indulging every Christmas wish,
desire and fantasy. As she packed her twenty-four hours full of productivity
and activity, her only wish was for more time. Even still, with her allotment
of hours, she was managing to do it all. Everything she’d ever wanted to do,
she was doing this year. It was as if she had a running Christmas checklist
that she was busily checking off. After this week, there were few if any empty
boxes void of a giant red check.

For Savannah, though, it really was
more than a list of tasks to complete; it was a lifetime of wishes she had
little time left to fulfill. And it wasn’t just lists of personal pleasures; it
was projects and people she’d wanted to invest in. How many times in the past
had she wished for that ability during the busiest season of her retail year?
It had seemed so impossible. She was discovering, this year, that illustrious
silver lining; that beauty that could be found in hardship and loss. Blessing
in distress. Though she missed her family more than ever, she was coping with
the devastation of her loss and rediscovering that her mother’s words were
true; the cure to a broken heart was busy hands.

Savannah found that God’s greatest
gift to her this season was the time to bless others. And in so doing, she was
healing, putting the past behind her and truly moving on. The caveat was that
she in turn was blessed beyond words for the opportunity to do what she loved
most.

Savannah hadn’t seen Austin since
last Sunday. She’d heard that he’d been traveling constantly; popping into town
for events or meetings with staff, underwriters or potential investors. She
tried to be sensitive to his time in Seattle by confining her working hours at
the house to times she knew he wouldn’t be there. Although she didn’t believe he’d
even spent one night as nothing was ever different or out of place, never a
dirty dish in the dishwasher.

It was Sunday evening and Savannah
had spent a busy week preparing for upcoming events, working the details with
Lois on guest lists and the like as well as personal social obligations like
meeting with former colleagues who wanted to wish her well on her new ventures,
charity leagues that both she and her mother had belonged to for years, and
other social obligations.

Tonight was different, however. She
was fulfilling one of her personal and most loved traditions; the Nutcracker at
Seattle’s McCaw Hall. Ever since she’d been a very little girl, it had been
something she’d waited and looked forward to all year. Always in previous
years, she’d attended with her family and sat in one of the first tier boxes
with a spectacular view of the stage, almost as if one was part of the
performance. The evening they attended always coincided with the performance
her family’s business co-sponsored. So many people had spent their lives
working for the stores that everyone, including the children, knew each other
well. It was like a party each time they gathered together.

Tonight, she sat alone on the
orchestra level for the first time. People were milling around, looking for
their seats. Little girls in taffeta and velvet dresses came tiptoeing by,
floating along as if they were indeed one of the famed snow princesses; eyes
sparkling with anticipation. Still, all these years later, Savannah felt that
same excitement as she thumbed through the evening’s program, noting the
performers as well as the evening sponsors. It was then she realized that
Austin’s company was the primary sponsor that evening. Had she known, she would
have tried to exchange her tickets for another performance.

Determined not to look up at the
tiered box seats surrounding the orchestra level, she kept her eyes glued to
the stage and finally began to relax as the lights began to dim, the curtains
receded and the magic began.

At intermission, Savannah floated
on air, still in the grips of the storybook wonderment of traveling to exotic
lands, handsome princes … and of course … snow as she made her way to the first
floor Grand Lobby, carefully circumventing the twirling little girls and their
exuberant chattering over the Waltz of the Snowflakes. Smiling at a young
mother trying to corral her girls, almost wishing she too could twirl at little
for even as an adult, the dance was still her very most favorite part, she
quickly made her way to the refreshment table.

Happy now for her seats that lead
into a different lobby than the box seat occupants and would allow her to avoid
running into members of Austin’s staff as they would most likely confine
themselves to the first tier lobby or even occupy one of the donor rooms in the
auditorium.

But as they say regarding the best
laid plans … they have a way of going awry. It was true. The effort to avoid
the entourage hadn’t worked as a contingent from that party descended from
their ranks and come down to the Grand Lobby to mingle with the crowds gathered
there and conduct a little public relations, she was sure.

After ordering a hot apple cider
from an attendant in formal attire, Savannah turned and almost literally ran
into Austin, Lois, Courtney, and a beautiful, stylish woman she didn’t know but
who was proprietarily hanging onto Austin’s arm.

Courtney’s eyes widened in surprise
when she saw Savannah. Ever the professional, she quickly tried to divert the
procession, only realizing its futility when Austin’s eyes remained glued to
Savannah’s and hers to his. The next tactic, however, did work. As if turned
out, she was able to distract the women, most importantly the beautiful
brunette hanging on Austin’s arm, with the promise of a drink from across the lobby
and in short order, had disappeared entirely. Lois’s knowing eyes, however,
fooled no one.

For an unbridled moment, Austin’s
eyes devoured Savannah; her classic and refined beauty, remembering in an
instant the times they’d shared, snow, for some reason, fresh in his mind. And
the hopes he’d inadvertently indulged during those days. But it wasn’t to be.
She was promised, in some unknown regard, to another. Quickly, that revealing
expression was shuttered behind a kind but professional façade.

Nervous, Savannah looked down at
her hot cider and giant molasses cookie.

“Would you like this?” she offered.
“I don’t know why I even bought it. I’m not at all hungry,”
especially now
,
she added to herself.

Austin’s eyes dipped to the cookie
before quickly returning to hers, burying his hands in the pockets of one of
the expensive suits she’d had him buy earlier, he merely shook his head. He
looked amazing; successful, enigmatic. Everything that he was. The silence
between them became palatable as theatergoers jostled them this way and that as
they tried to get in line at the refreshment table before it was too late.

“Have your meetings been productive
so far?” she finally asked, hoping to curb the awkward silence.

“Better than expected,” he answered
simply.

“Good.”

“I’d hoped to see you in church
this morning,” he said instead, quickly glancing at the approaching women,
drinks in hand.

“I, uh, went to the later service,
as usual,” Savannah was able to stammer before being joined by his entourage,
one of which had a sharp and calculating expression as she slipped her arm
through Austin’s, leading him toward a group of well-dressed men with barely a
backward glance.

“Oh,” he said, flipping around to
Savannah once again and with a thoughtful expression, irritating his companion.
“Thanks for the molasses cookies. Hope you don’t mind but I found one of your
stashes. They were amazing,” he complimented before turning back to the group
of men, one of which was already grabbing his hand in a warm handshake. The
woman, whoever she was, had narrowed her eyes following his comment, glared at
Savannah before flipping her dark tresses over one shoulder, plastering a false
smile in place as she greeted one of the gentlemen. Savannah couldn’t help but
unkindly notice how her nearly blue white teeth gleamed from the chandeliers
overhead.

Savannah stood silent, starring at
the group, processing her encounter with Austin; both the verbal and the
non-verbal aspects. Soon, however, Courtney’s eye caught hers eliciting a sharp
but slight nod, discouraging her from further interaction. She recognized the
dismissal and faded into the background.

Seconds later, the group moved
upstairs toward the first tier lobby where Savannah wished they’d stayed. While
she’d enjoyed the spectacular show, traveling to all those fictitious and
exotic lands, she now felt bereft, humbled and extremely lonely in this
sold-out and pressing crowd.

Looking down at the sweet cookie
that now turned her stomach sour, she glanced over and saw another lonely soul,
an elderly man learning heavily on a brass cane with an intricately hand-carved
wooden top. Dressed in fine wool, several years if not decades old, Savannah
made her way, darting around meandering groups, to the wall that was helping to
prop him up.

“Would you like a cookie, Sir?” she
asked, holding the sugar-glistened giant cookie resting on a Christmas plaid
napkin toward him.

He eyed her warily.

“Molasses,” she enticed with a
knowing yet sparkling smile.

Looking down at the cookie once
again, she watched him deliberate and even almost salivate over the scrumptious
indulgence she was sure was baked at the Dahlia bakeries.

“Well, sure, young lady,” he
finally answered, propping his cane against a nearby plush chair.

Savannah chatted amicably as he
happily munched on his cookie and she sipped her now warm cider. Like her, he’d
attended the Nutcracker for years with his wife, recently deceased. It was
pleasant company for them both. Soon, however, the lights dimmed in the lobby
before they announced that the performance would begin momentarily.

Nodding farewell to her new friend,
Savannah found her isle seat just as the curtain was coming up. She wouldn’t
see Austin or Courtney again that evening as she nearly danced herself out of
the auditorium, reveling in the sights and sounds of Christmas she’d just
experienced.

A new week began and the days were
flying past, each filled with strategic planning, list making, food
preparation, and the like. Savannah’s hours in the house stretched into the wee
hours as she knew Austin was on the East Coast and she had only days to wrap up
the finishing touches on the Open House scheduled for the weekend. She felt the
pressure in every social circle as she’d heard that some were calling her party
…
Austin’s party
… Seattle’s social event of the season, if not even the
year. It was a daunting task to live up to but one she was confident she could
manage.

While it still bothered her that
Austin thought she was involved with Robert, even though there was no hope for
the two of them, there had been no opportunity to set the record straight. It
had been inappropriate at church, the Nutcracker had been impossible. She
wasn’t even sure it was necessary to correct the misconception. Perhaps
Courtney had already told him about her own relationship with the man. It was
confusing.

While she debated how to handle the
situation,
or if she indeed would
, she knew that what really bothered
her, what niggled at her brain in the pre-dawn hours laying awake in her
borrowed bed, was that he would somehow feel she had mislead him, or hadn’t
been completely honest.

What he didn’t know … would
never
know
is that while she’d had plenty of dates, she’d never kissed a man as
she’d kissed him. She abandoned herself to it and even in the dark with only
herself for company, she felt her face burn with embarrassment. If she had
truly been committed to someone else, it would never have happened. She
wouldn’t have allowed it. But he would never know that.

Rolling over and pounding the
pillow, she would eventually just rise, get dressed for the day and head out
early to her favorite Starbucks, all in an attempt to put the miserable mess
she’d made out of her mind, for the next few hours anyway.

Most of Savannah’s and Austin’s
communications occurred through and was mediated by Lois, his long time
assistant. But beginning, however, with a little innocent yellow sticky note
inquiring about his preferences in soft drinks that Savannah was stocking the
bar with, a habit had formed that she had become attached to. Apparently, as
had he. The little yellow exchanges now occurred daily. She looked forward to
finding those sticky notes in the most obscure and out-of-the-way places around
the house.

The first note said in answer to
her question, “
Coke … retro cans. A
.”

Another said,
“Thanks for the
cookies, they were great! A.”