Home for Christmas (19 page)

The chefs were pleased with his
praise, promising to make up containers of leftovers to store in his
refrigerator. The conversation soon drifted to Savannah and how much they loved
working with her, and had for more years than either of them could count. Once
again, he was regaled with the impeccability of her character and her
likeability. Though she’d been blessed with privilege her entire life, she’d
obviously not taken that for granted. She didn’t see herself as better than
others. She served.  Impressed, he scooped up the last bite before taking
his plate over to the sink, rinsing it and placing it in the dishwasher.

“Did you ever see her around Robert
Winslow?” he asked, knowing he shouldn’t be gossiping about her, with her hired
staff no less.

Finally one of the staff members
spoke up. “I know of him. Have done a few things with his mother. She was
delightful. He never paid much attention to us,” he said with a chuckle. “All
the years we’ve worked for the Wentworth family, we’ve never seen or heard much
about him.”

Austin considered their words as he
made his way back to the Library, prepared for a long night of work ahead of
him. If they were such a couple, why didn’t more people see them as such? She’d
left with a headache, and he’d stayed, almost to the last. Courtney had stayed
and they’d left together. If he ever had the privilege of a woman like
Savannah, you can be sure that he’d be the one escorting her home.

Running up the stairs to change his
clothes, he noticed a guest door open and a light on inside. If he wasn’t
mistaken, it was the room Courtney had told him used to belong to Savannah.
Truly, he’d spent so few hours in the house to date that he had to jog his
memory.

Peering into the room he discovered
Courtney in the closet. “What are you doing?” he asked as she jumped, throwing
him a disgruntled look. “I thought you left awhile ago?”

“I did,” she grumbled. “Savannah
left a few things in the closet and I promised her after I changed I’d come
back and make sure everything was set to rights for you. She’s just a little
too …
responsible
,” she grumbled disagreeably as she zipped a tote bag
closed and flipped off the closet light.

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” he
said, backing again toward the door. “They’re about finished in the kitchen and
anything else that needs done can wait until tomorrow.”

“Thanks, Austin,” she said turning
to look around the room once again. “You know, I have a lot of memories in this
room as well. You can’t imagine how many hours we sat on that bed, predicting
our futures. Neither of us would have ever guessed things would have worked out
for Savannah the way they did,” she finished sadly.

“I know a little about what
happened,” he admitted, standing with hands resting on his hips. “Mostly from
the press I read. She’s handled herself with a ton of class and I have the
utmost respect for her.”

“Me too. I get a little put out
with her sometimes, you know. But I do love her,” she finished smiling sadly.

Yeah, me too
. The thought came
unbidden from some distant part of himself. Shocked, he backed out of the room,
feeling like he needed fresh air. She looked at him quizzically as he headed
quickly down the hall toward his room.

Me too?
Where in the world
had that come from? Ripping off his tux in his closet and throwing on his
running gear, he raced back down to the kitchen, telling the staff he’d be back
shortly. Never had he needed a grueling run as much as he did tonight. He
needed to clear his head, desperately. It was too much to take in. Besides, the
exercise would clear his head for the detailed reports he’d be poring over all
night.

But as he ran into the night, down
the festively lit streets in the neighborhood, with every pounding step he
took, the word
love
echoed in his mind.
Could he?
He already knew
the answer.
Should he?
Absolutely not. What to do about it was the
troubling quandary. Forgetting it didn’t seem to be working.

Savannah woke early the next
morning, pleased that she felt and even looked more herself. The third Advent
Sunday. Today, they would light the pink candle of Joy. Fitting that she would
have had a week of despair, only to celebrate Joy on Sunday.

Checking the clock beside her bed,
she realized it was still incredibly early. Would Austin attend the early
service this morning … or skip it all together? He’d have a perfect excuse.
Would
she
come with him? Unkindly, Savannah couldn’t imagine her sitting
in a church service.

Sighing, she sat back down on her
bed to click open her calendar app on her phone. This was the last full week
before Christmas. They had several more intimate dinners planned with
high-level prospective investors at the house this week. She would be in close
quarters with Austin. Would
she
be there too?

Looking at the time at the top of
her phone, she debated. Should she or shouldn’t she?

The decision came easily. She
would. As quietly as she could, she dressed, sipped at a regular cup of coffee
she’d made in the kitchen and slipped out the door.

She sat in the fifteenth row,
three
spaces left of the center aisle. Truthfully, she’d sat in the second space but
remembered Austin’s offhanded comment about ruts and slid into the third. No
one would notice, but she would.

The church was delightfully dim,
the candles were twinkling, musicians with stringed instruments were softly
playing carols; an air of expectancy filled the sanctuary. As parishioners
beginning filling in the seats around her, Savannah glanced behind to see if
Austin had slid into another pew.  The service was especially full, but
even so, he wasn’t there. Warring with disappointment, she turned her attention
to the Order of Worship and decided he’d had a late night or perhaps Elise
hadn’t wanted to come.

The candle they would light today
was for, “Joy.” It was one of those words that everyone seemed to use at some
point during the Christmas season. “Joy” along with “Peace,” were seemingly
synonymous expressions of sentiment during this sacred time of year. In fact,
her mother had three stocking holders she used that individually had letters
but when placed together would spell, “Joy.”

But what did
joy
really
mean? Savannah wouldn’t exactly categorize her year as one filled with joy. It
had been tough. A year filled with loss and mourning, of giving up everything
she’d held dear. As she sat on that wooden pew, waiting for the service to
begin, she reflected on joy.

She reviewed in her mind the events
of the last couple of months. Snippets of memories floated through her mind.
She remembered the first time she’d crawled into her borrowed bed at
Courtney’s, so incredibly relieved that it wasn’t in that retched apartment in
a rough part of town, she remembered a rainy candlelit dinner with Austin, his
incredible smile that warmed a body through and through. She remembered the
delighted children she’d been able to bless on Thanksgiving; still more darling
little ones as she’d helped them bake and decorate cookies for Christmas,
perhaps the only ones they would get during the season, she remembered the kiss
in the snow on Cougar Mountain, her hand held so tenderly by a very special
man.

Suddenly, it dawned on her through
those reflections that in the midst of her mourning, she had indeed found joy.
Little bits and gifts that when added together, equaled Joy.

The service began and when it came
time for the scripture reading, it was in the sixty-first book of Isaiah and
was titled, “The Year of the Lord’s Favor.”

The
Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of joy instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.

The pastor’s sermon was one of
hope, of expectation, and yes, of finding joy. He challenged that there was a
difference between happiness and joy. They were, actually, two entirely
different entities. True joy could indeed be found amidst heartbreak and
mourning.  True joy was a gift from God, one that could be found when
people praised Him, even through trying and difficult circumstances. The
outcome of praise was true joy.

Savannah left the building with her
spirit buoyed. To claim the Lord’s favor, to be promised joy, was something she
could grasp as the Christmas season began to wind down and her life began to
shift into new and unfamiliar territories. She was also challenged that despite
her feelings for Austin, it wasn’t in her hands, it was in God’s. Her fervent
prayer was that He would relieve her of her feelings, allowing her to move on
without another loss. But even so, His will, not hers, be done.

With only three hours of sleep,
Austin woke before the sun crested the eastern horizon. Again, another restless
night. Making his way down to the kitchen to scrounge up some eggs and toast,
he checked the clock on the oven to find that he had hours before the early
service at church.

He needed to spend the bulk of the
day in his office, thought about skipping church altogether before admitting
that more than anything, he wanted to see Savannah, and additionally needed the
grounding of that service to get him through the week. The highlight of the
Christmas season so far, for him, had been sitting with her in church a couple
of weeks ago. Well, the kiss in the snow had also been a highlight, although of
a very different variety.

After a quick bite of breakfast,
his decision was made. Austin ran up the stairs to dress and head into the
office. He loved attending the early service, which left him the rest of the
day to accomplish the day’s tasks. But today, even if she was there with
Robert, inexplicably he wanted to sit in the same service as her. He would
attend the later service, hoping she was feeling better, and in attendance.

He arrived early for the second
service. Sitting down in the fifteenth row, two spaces left of center aisle, he
smiled to himself. It wasn’t long before the pews began to fill completely. An
elderly couple sat next to him and university age kids sat in front and behind.
The rest of the pews were filled with assorted people from all stages of life.
Service time had arrived. Disappointment dimmed his spirits as he realized she
wasn’t here.  

As the congregation stood for the
opening prayer, Austin glanced around one last time but found no sign of
Savannah. He was disappointed but assumed she was still under the weather.
Determined to enjoy the service, he set his mind to that task.

Austin immensely enjoyed the
service and the music. Finding joy had been a theme he could completely relate
to. While his material needs were met and then some, he had realized early in
his career that being free of financial worry didn’t equate to joy, neither did
the accomplishment of long sought goals. While there was certainly a heady
thrill, it was short-lived and shallow. He supposed that‘s what kept people,
himself included, to keep reaching, pushing and achieving. The process was more
rewarding than the accomplishment. Finding joy, he’d learned however, was so
very easy if one just took the time to find it, its blueprint so very clear
within the pages of scripture.

Leaving service, Austin looked up
to find a thin stretch of blue sky hovering over the city, reflecting the water
and the tall glass buildings making up its skyline. An incredible day. How he
hated to cloister himself back in his tiny office. What he really wanted to do
was spend the afternoon with Savannah … pursuing
joyful
activities. A
myriad of ways to make that happen flashed through his mind, all of which were
impossible … and really bad ideas. She was involved. Off limits. With someone
who didn’t deserve her.

Hopping on to I-5 South, the urge
to keep driving was compelling. If he kept going, he could jump onto I-90 and
head east of the city. In only a few minutes, he’d be free of it, his
responsibilities and would most probably run into more than just a thin stretch
of blue sky. Deadlines were looming, his workload was unfathomable, especially
now that Lois was out for a while; but he was craving a break from the pace.

By pure instinct he instructed his
integrated vehicle communications system to text Savannah.

AUSTIN DOUGLASS:
            Do you ski?

SAVANNAH WENTWORTH:
            Yes.

AUSTIN DOUGLASS:
            Need to
debrief last night’s party and also get out of the city. Are you up to it?

Savannah was sitting on a bench at
Kerry Park on Queen Anne hill with a spectacular view of the skyline watching a
ferry slowly cross the Sound from Elliot Bay on its way to either Bremerton or
Bainbridge Island. It was an iconic view of Seattle in which the Space Needle
and city skyline loomed large and impressive. A view made famous by the late
television program, Frazier.

Courtney was
entertaining
this afternoon, Austin was in town, so Savannah truly had no place to be. She
should be finishing her Christmas shopping, or at least wrapping the last few
gifts, she should be going over her lists for the five dinner parties she had
coming up at the house, going over menus … but her heart just wasn’t into it.
The early service had left her buoyed, in spite of not seeing Austin, but the
day had begun to take its toll. Everywhere she looked, people were paired or
with families. Excitement filled the air as they Christmas shopped or merely
spent time together. Watching them only made her own loneliness more acute.

And then came his text, as if he’d
been privy to her thoughts. It had been several minutes and she hadn’t answered
him. Debating, she chewed her lower lip, wanting desperately to be with him,
hating the consequences, wondering where Elise was, and if it was the right
thing to do. Mulling the issue, she decided that since it was business, she
couldn’t refuse. Immediately, her outlook brightened and the loneliness
receded.

Austin pulled up to the park mere
minutes later. Smiling, she ran to the car as he scurried around to the
passenger side to open the door for her. Who did that anymore?

Driving east of the city, they had
each decided to forego skiing, even though they were both avid enthusiasts,
because Savannah’s gear and clothing was in storage. Instead they decided to
have a late lunch at Salish Lodge, a hotel and spa overlooking Snoqualmie
Falls.

Soon they were seated in an
intimately private alcove for two, directly over the falls, and within view of
the roaring fireplace in the main part of the dining room. Mist from the falls
floated through the air, obscuring the brilliant blue sky at times, enveloping
them in a cozy cocoon from the rest of the world. A white large candle
surrounded by an evergreen wreath and red berries sat in the middle of their
table draped in white linen. It was romantic in every sense; each reminded
themselves that it was to be business and nothing more.

By some mutual unspoken agreement; neither
mentioned Robert or Elise. They kept the topic of conversation purely business
in nature, and then later … purely personal. They coordinated their weekly
schedule, reviewed the dinner parties and guest lists planned this last week
before Christmas, their last week together. Austin didn’t know Savannah was
leaving the state; there was no reason for him to know. If his spring wedding
was to be held in Seattle, it would give her a perfect excuse to not attend.

After hours at the table, a quick
walk through the lodge and the gift shop, they meandered over to the park
overlooking the falls just before darkness set in. It had been an afternoon
Austin wouldn’t forget. As they stood at the fence watching and listening to
the falls, it was all he could do to keep from reaching out to grasp her hand
or wrap his arms around her from behind. He loved touching her, being close to
her. The fact that he still wanted to, knowing she belonged to someone else,
was frightening. He thought about bringing up Robert, imploring her to help him
understand what she saw in the man; but in the end, knew he had to respect
their friendship, even though it killed him inside.

As they drove back into the city,
the lights twinkling, Savannah felt she’d had the best day in a week of many.
It couldn’t get better than this … and she was right, it wouldn’t.

Savannah hosted four small dinner
parties throughout the coming week at the house. The menus were succulent and
seasonal; Beef Wellington, Grilled Salmon, Cider-Braised Pork Roast, and even
Roast Duck with all the traditional Christmas trimmings. All had earned rave
reviews.  For each dinner party, she’d tailored the menu to suit the
guests invited. Friends to some, at least acquaintances to all, she was able to
seat them in comfortable and interesting groupings that had lauded each evening
a success.