Home: A Novel (18 page)

My cell phone rang and I reached over to the passenger side to dig it out of my purse. I figured it was either Justin or Alan telling me to stay put until they got there so I didn’t have to get to the stage on my own.
 
T
he caller ID said restricted.

“Hm….that’s strange,” I said as I pushed the green button to answer the call. “Hello?”

“Listen to me you fucking bitch,” I heard snarled in my ear.

Colton. Shit.

“You sing your little songs tonight on stage and meet me behind the movie theater after your set. It’s payback time for all the money you lost me.”

Damn it. I knew he’d come to find me eventually.

“Colton, I have security scheduled for tonight, it won’t be possible to get away,” I said.

“Well, you’ll have to just get creative then, won’t you? Because you see, there’s going to be a lot of people tonight you care about in one place. It would sure be tragic news to have your brothers and their sweet little wives get hurt with a crazy gunman on the loose.”

“You wouldn’t,” I breathed.

“I would. And after I open fire to take them out, I’m coming after your fucking
 
boyfriend
. Only I don’t think I’ll shoot him. I think I’ll torture him a bit first. Maybe let him watch me fuck you. He can listen to you scream my name while I take you from behind. I bet he’d like that.”

I was going to be sick. He’d completely lost it. “Colton please, don’t do this. Do you want money? I can give you money. I can give you A LOT of money. Just please, don’t hurt my family.”

“Meet me after the set.
 
W
e’ll talk about it then. And if you even think of telling anyone, you’re dead.
 
T
hey’re ALL dead. Understand?”

“How do you know I’m not with them right now?” I asked.

“I know you’re alone, bitch. I have my ways.”

He ended the call. I stared down at my phone. My hands were trembling so hard, the phone slid out of my grasp and into my lap. I had no clue how to fix this. Should I tell Justin? My brothers? I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to risk my life, but I didn’t want them getting hurt. And how the hell did he know I was alone? I’d left the farm only ten minutes ago to drive into town.

I needed a plan. I needed to get my head together and figure out what the hell to do about this. In an attempt to calm myself I closed my eyes, picturing Justin and myself sitting on the front porch of his house. Our children getting off the school bus and running up the lane. Home. I needed to finish this tonight. It needed to be done so I could finally put this nightmare to rest and just be home.

Chapter 18

I
heard a tap on my window and about jumped out of my skin. I had no idea how much time had passed since Colton called. It was taking every ounce of effort I could muster to hold myself together.

I looked out to see my dad standing next to the car. I motioned for him to go around to the passenger side.

“Baby Girl,” he said softly as he turned to me. Dad never called me baby girl. T
hat was always Mama’s thing.
 
T
he fact that he was saying it to me now made me think I was in for some sort of serious lecture.

“I’m sorry, Dad. I just had to get out of there.”

“I know.
 
Y
ou were probably too lost in thought during the drive in to realize it, but I was right behind you the whole time.”

I stared at him and blinked through my confusion. I had never even noticed him.

“Lillian, there is someone out there seeking revenge on you.
 
Y
ou’ve been with Justin the past four days so I knew you were safe. Do you honestly think I’d let you haul ass outta there all by yourself?”

I was a little shocked. I never asked for details about their man meeting that night after I broke the news of Colton’s threats. Apparently, they’d decided one of them would be with me at all times. Not a shocker that Justin had taken most of that responsibility, but it does explain why he has been doing very little work around the farm lately.

“I need to get to the stage, Dad,” I said softly.

He nodded. “I know, Alan will be here soon to take you.” I could tell he was contemplating whether or not to keep going.
 
V
ery softly, so much so that I barely heard him, he went on. “Lillian, that boy has been head over heels in love with you for years.” He shook his head as a small smile crept onto his lips. “He’d never come right out and admit it even though your brothers teased the hell out of him every chance they got.
 
T
here was one night, however, quite a few years back.
 
T
he boys were all uptown having a night out, you know, playin’ cards and what not at the bar. Justin was there. He had too much to drink and poured his heart out.
 
Y
our brothers quit givin’ him shit after that night. I guess seein’ a grown man be so torn up over a woman, and that woman being their sister, it wasn’t so funny anymore.”

“Look, Dad, I freaked out okay? It just hit me and I didn’t want to tell him I was in love with him there, of all places, and with a freaking audience. It wasn’t the right time.”

“So instead of at least letting him say it back, you screamed at him and ran off? Jesus, Lillian. I thought your mother and I set a better example of a marriage for you than that.”

Marriage? Oh, this was too much. I wasn’t even sure if you could call what we were doing ‘dating.’ Between what just happened with Justin, and dealing with all of Colton’s threats, my head was going to explode.

“I’m nervous. I gave my heart away once, Dad, and it was shredded. In the worst way you can possibly imagine. Sorry, but I’m a little gun shy.”

“And you don’t think that boy is gun shy?” he asked. “Lillian, he’s so damn afraid you’re gonna wake up one day and decide this small town shit isn’t for you and take off. It’s written all over his face. I notice him practically hovering over top of you just to make sure you’re comfortable, you’re happy, you’re feeling good. Because in his head, he thinks that if you’re not, you’re gonna fucking bolt again.” He sighed, looked out his window and muttered, “Give the man a break, honey.”

I closed my eyes and let Dad’s words sink in. I felt horrible. I’d spent all those years away chasing a dream that only hurt someone who I’d grown to love. Looking back, maybe a part of me had always loved him deep down, I just never realized it. And now here I was, putting him and everyone else I loved in danger. I hadn’t felt guilt like this in so long.

“Good news, Ms. Raftzen, you’re being discharged this morning,” the cheery nurse said as she entered my room. Her smile was bright but it did nothing to lift the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.
 
T
hankfully, I only had to stay in the hospital a few days. After the procedure to remove the baby, they kept me for observation to make sure there were no further complications.

“Thank you,” I muttered.

It was all I could muster anymore. I felt so broken. I wanted to call Mama so badly. I knew she would come in a heartbeat and help take the pain away, but I was ashamed. I was the idiot who let Colton into my life. I was the idiot who thought we were together. I actually thought he’d be happy about the baby and the three of us would be a family.

As much as I didn’t want to cry one more tear over him, I couldn’t help it. He used me. He introduced me to his label and used my success to work his way to the top of RCA Records. And now he owned me. I hadn’t gone through the normal channels of the business and made any other contacts on my way up. Colton got me there, kept me there, and now held my future in the palm of his hand. I didn’t want to lose everything I had worked for, but mostly, he said he’d hurt Sarah. I couldn’t let that happen. And I didn’t want it to happen to me again. I was so scared he would come after me again.

Sarah came to get me from the hospital and took me home.
 
T
he minute I walked through the front door it all came back. I froze in my tracks, not able to take one step further.

“Will you help me pack a bag, Sarah?” I asked, knowing full well she would do anything for me.

“Sure, why?”

“I need to go to a hotel, put this place up for sale. I can’t be here anymore, there are too many bad memories and it freaks me the hell out,” I said.

“Okay. I still don’t understand how someone got through your gate. It seems to be about impossible. And even if they made it that far, I just don’t get how they got into the house to get to you. Have you heard anything again from the police? Do they have any leads?”

I shrugged. I didn’t want to think about it anymore.
 
T
here was no way I felt like talking about it. I’d never be able to tell her what Colton had done. Sarah was more headstrong than I was, she would lose her mind and probably go after him. At least from a legal standpoint, if not physical.

As with anything, time moved on. As Colton moved up the corporate ladder, he had relinquished a lot of his managerial duties to other employees under him when dealing with me. He still made it a point to show his face every now and then and boss me around. I tolerated him, at best, but mostly just kept my distance. Of course he made up some horrific story and sold it to the tabloids that we’d been in a serious relationship and it was a bitter ending. I avoided questions on our break up for what felt like years.
 
W
hat an asshole. Not surprisingly, I was harassed constantly while he became more famous. He accomplished what he wanted, the tie to me would always be there for him. I think it even gained him a few new clients. Every time an up and coming star would break through it almost made me sick to think about what they would have to deal with.
 
T
hough I seemed to pull myself together okay on the outside, the pressure of fame was not something I’d wish on anyone.

So I continued to do my thing. I made records, toured, did the whole red carpet spectacle every chance I got. And while I continued to make a ton of money, so did Colton. Every time I glanced through my financials and saw a check cut to his agency it made me want to vomit.

And then, one night after a show in Kansas City, it came crashing down on me.
 
T
he bricks, the mortar, the walls that had been built around my heart and my life toppled onto me. I tried to deflect them, but they cut every inch of my skin. Deep cuts that bled. All the pain, all the heartbreak. It all came out.

I saw a little girl. She had dark hair and blue eyes that looked exactly like mine. I wanted to hold her. I wanted her to call me Mommy. I wanted to read her books and tuck her into her little pink and purple bed at night.

The hurt was too much, but it was the guilt that broke me. I felt responsible for losing my child. Colton was the one doing the beating that night, but I was the one that put myself and my child in that situation in the first place. I had opened the door and let him walk right in. It was all my fault, and the guilt was eating me from the inside out.

I couldn’t do it anymore. I needed to face my fears and go home. If Colton came after me I would deal with it. At home I wouldn’t need walls because I had family. Family would take care of me. Justin would take care of me.

I looked at my dad sitting next to me in the car. I reached over and grabbed his hand into mine. I realized I was right. My family would take care of me. I could do this. I just needed to get through my show and have the meet with Colton. My brothers, my dad and Justin would make sure everything was okay. I had to believe that.

“Thank you,” I said as I gave his hand a squeeze.

“Anytime, Lil,” he replied. “Let’s go find the boys.”

We got out of the car and Alan, James and Michael seemed to descend on us out of nowhere.
 
T
hey were like a super hero trio of maximum security, forming a barrier between me and the rest of the world.

“Where’s Justin?” I asked as we walked toward the stage.

“He’s with Mom,” Alan replied. “He was going to drop Sarah off up by the stage and then take her over to the tables to get situated.
 
T
hey have a
 
V
IP area roped off out of the way for us. A couple of cops I know from around the area are patrolling in plain clothes.
 
T
hey’re specifically assigned to that section to make sure you are left alone when you’re done.”

I nodded and kept walking. I didn’t want to see Justin before the show anyway. I think I hit my quota of stupid things to say to him for a lifetime. It was for the best to keep my distance until I could really focus on him.

As we got closer to the stage I could see two giant muscle men wearing skin tight black shirts that said ‘security’ on the back. Once I stood right in front of them, I realized giant wasn’t even close to describing them.
 
T
hey looked like linebackers in the NFL.
 
T
he one guy’s thigh was almost the size of my waist. I had to tilt my head all the way back, like I was looking to the sky, to get a look at his face.

“You are ginormous,” I said to him. He just looked down at me and grinned.

How the hell was I going to get away from these guys to meet Colton after the show?

I looked around and realized Sarah wasn’t anywhere near the stage or the security team. At first I panicked thinking Colton had already gotten to her. I scanned the area but stopped when something caught my eye. From behind the
 
W
ells Fargo sign in the back alley of the bank, I saw Sarah come around the corner. She had a small grin on her face and was smoothing down her shirt. I noticed that she checked to make sure it was buttoned correctly, and then ran her fingers through her hair to get it back into place.

I knew that hair. It was sex hair. Sarah had just gotten lucky in the
 
alley
 
behind the
 
bank!

Holy cramoly. I didn’t know what to do with this. Part of me wanted to scold her, and part of me wanted to find Lyons and give him a high five. He must have gone around the other direction because the whole time she walked toward us, I never saw him come out from the alley.

When she reached the stage, she went straight to the security team and began rattling off instructions. I weaseled my way through my brothers to get to her. She was so busted. I couldn’t wait to give her crap. I was just close enough that I reached out to grab her arm. She jumped at the contact. “Lily, holy shit you scared the hell out of me,” she breathed.

“You little sneak,” I said through my grin. “I know what you were up to behind the bank.” I crossed my arms and gave her my best ‘you-are-so-in-trouble’ glare.

Pure panic came down across her face. “Lil, I can explain-”she started.

“And where did Lyons run off to?” I interrupted. I looked around until I found him. He was already back to the
 
V
IP section. I noticed my dad had made it over to sit with Mama.
 
T
hey were both having a beer and talking to folks as they passed by. I realized it might be hard for them to be roped off from everyone like that.
 
T
hey had both lived in this town their entire lives and knew practically everyone. And now they were sitting all alone with tape and cones around their grouping of tables. All because of me. Damn.

My eyes scanned back to where Justin stood. He was talking to David and it did not look pleasant.

Huh, you’d think Lyons would be in a better mood after his little escapade behind the bank.

Justin looked up in our direction. His eyes were hard and cold, and his scowl screamed pure anger. His jaw was tight and I could tell he was thoroughly pissed off. He stood with his hands on his hips, nodding his head every once in a while as David kept talking to him.

My heart sank.
 
T
his was it.
 
T
his was the last straw for him. I knew deep down he loved me, and had for a long time, but he was now seeing all of the bullshit that comes along with being a part of my life. Even though I gave up the fame, I feared it would always be part of my life.
 
W
e’d never be able to just be together as a normal couple. I closed my eyes and looked away from him. I couldn’t bear to see the anger and hatred any more. It was too much.