Home: A Novel (15 page)

He squeezed my knee but pulled away. “Damn it, how do we know what to expect out of him if you don’t tell me or your brothers what the fuck happened? Look, I’ve told people to watch their back before and it didn’t mean jack shit. I was probably fightin’ them at the time, but that didn’t mean I’d go after them when it was all over. Is that something this guy would do? Come after you?”

“Possibly.” I was still whispering.

“How do you know?”

“I just do. He…..” How did I say this without telling him everything? “He can get violent,” I finished.

“Have you seen him be violent?”

I finally faced my fears and looked at him. It killed me to see the worry on his face.

“Yeah.”

Justin closed his eyes and asked through clenched teeth, “Was he violent with you?”

I stared at him as seconds ticked by. Finally, I gave him the slightest nod and then dropped my head to my hands.

“Son of a bitch, no good motherfucker, FUCK!” he roared as he picked up the wooden chair in the entryway and threw it into the kitchen. It shattered into pieces on the tile floor. His voice echoed off the walls and seemed to bounce around the room before they smacked me straight in the face.

“Please don’t yell. I know you’re mad, Justin, but I can’t handle it right now. Please,” I begged him, frantically wiping the tears and snot from my face with the back of my hand.

“I’m…..” he paused to get his emotions under control. “….sorry. I won’t yell. I need to let your Dad know about this.”

“No!” I cried. “You can’t. He can’t know. Nobody can. Ever.”

“Lil, how the fuck are we supposed to keep you safe if I can’t tell anybody?”

“I don’t know!” I screamed as the tears continued in a full stream down my cheeks. “He can’t know. My brothers can’t know. Sarah doesn’t even know.
 
T
he damn Nashville police department thinks some random person broke in and assaulted me. I don’t want anybody to fucking know what he did to me!”

“Okay. Okay. Calm down,” he said, pulling me into him. He was breathing heavily and at the contact with his hard chest, I lost it once again. He wrapped his strong arms around me as I sobbed. I grabbed his shirt into my fists and let it out. I cried for all the lost years. I cried for the worry, the heartbreak, the pain and the baby.

When the tears had drained the last of my energy, Justin reached down to pick me up and carried me through the house. He set me down in his bedroom and brushed the tears from my cheeks with his thumbs. Leaning in to kiss my forehead he said, “I just need to let your Dad know that Colton is an actual threat. I won’t tell him how I know, even if he asks me. But he needs to know, Bright Eyes, so he and your brothers can come up with a plan to keep you safe, okay?”

I didn’t have the energy to respond. Justin reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out his cell phone.

“Daniel….Justin….hey, you need to talk to Alan, have him start the paperwork to get a restraining order on this guy.” He paused, looked at me and went on, “No, she didn’t tell me anything, but she’s freaked. It’s just a hunch, but I think it needs to be done. Okay. Later.” Ending the call, he threw his phone on the dresser and then proceeded to empty the rest of his pockets.

“Why don’t you get changed, honey.”

I nodded and reached for my bag, heading into the bathroom.
 
T
hankfully Justin didn’t say anything, but I didn’t want to undress in front of him. Even though he’d seen me mostly naked earlier today, it didn’t feel right after the emotional drain of the evening.

I came out of the bathroom in my oversized t-shirt that hung to my knees to see Justin already sprawled out in the bed. His chest was bare, showing off his delicious tattoo, and the sheet was pulled up to his waist. I wanted so badly to pull that sheet back to see if he had anything on under there, but I held myself back.

“Do you have a pillow and blanket I can use?” I asked.

He looked down at the empty side of the bed. “Yeah, right here, why?”

“I’ll just go sleep on the couch.” I snatched the pillow and almost made it to the door before he grabbed me around the waist and hauled me back.

“What would make you think I’m okay with you sleepin’ on my couch? Please get into bed, honey, come on.”

“No, and don’t ‘honey’ me, Justin. I know you don’t want me there. Just let me go.”

“Tell me what the fuck I did to make you think I wouldn’t want you in my bed? Are you kidding me with this shit right now?”

“Stop,” I pleaded. “Please let me go.” I felt my bottom lip quiver. I was so tired of crying.

Justin’s muscles went rock solid, yet he loosened his hold on me. I wiggled myself free and walked out the door. Somehow, I managed to hold myself together while I got comfortable and arranged my pillow just right.
 
T
here was a blanket over the back of the couch I grabbed to cover my body.
 
T
hankfully, it didn’t take long to fall into a deep sleep.

Chapter 15

I
hadn’t been asleep long when I suddenly felt like I was flying through the air. My nose tingled with a familiar scent. I took a deep breath and sighed. I felt so warm and cuddly, I really needed to ask Justin where he got this fabulous blanket.

About the time I realized it wasn’t the blanket making me feel warm and cuddly, but instead it was Justin’s strong arms holding me, he laid me down on his bed.

“What are you doing?” I squeaked, blinking my eyes repeatedly to help awaken my remaining senses.

“You are not sleeping on the fucking couch,” he snapped.

Shit, here we go again,
 
I thought to myself. I really did not want to get into this with him again in the middle of the night.

“I’m pretty sure I
 
W
AS sleeping,” I said with a snotty tone.

“You know what I mean.”

“Oh, yeah, I know EXACTLY what you meant,” I said, raising my voice.

He stared at me a beat and then threw his hands up in the air, letting them slam down onto his thighs. “Jesus, I cannot keep up with you.
 
W
hat did I do now?”

“Nothing, you made your feelings very loud and clear to me. I wouldn’t want to add another argument to your
 
perfect….fucking….day
.” As I spat the last three words at him, my voice gave way and cracked on the last one. I started to move toward the edge of the bed, hoping to get as far away from him as possible.

We both laid there a while, not saying a word. I stayed facing the opposite direction. I didn’t want him to figure out that I was more hurt than mad. If he saw my eyes he would know the truth. I felt his arm slowly stretch across my belly and pull me back against his body. I was nestled with my back to his front, but he still hadn’t said a word. He loosened his hold on my belly and moved his hand down to my hip. His fingers dug into my flesh as he leaned closer. He buried his face into the back of my hair and whispered, “I’m sorry.”

At first I didn’t know how to react. As much as I wanted to throw it in his face that sorry wasn’t good enough, and what he said earlier had hurt me more than anything, I couldn’t. My heart was turning to mush and my tummy felt all melty inside.
 
W
hy did he have to sound so sexy when he apologized? Damn it. And then he went on.

“I was a dick. I didn’t mean to be, but I was. I wasn’t prepared to find out someone might want to hurt you.
 
T
hat, on top of the fact that I was pissed at myself for fucking you in a goddamn
 
horse barn
, and I lost my cool. I didn’t mean for it to come out like I regretted the actual act, just that….I don’t know Lil, we’re adults. I should’ve made this perfect for you….for us. And I didn’t. I pushed you against a dirty fucking wall and made it seem cheap and meaningless.”

If I was mushy and melty before, my entire body had just turned to pure liquid. I twisted in his arms to face him.
 
T
he light green eyes staring into mine were filled with pain. I leaned my forehead against his and sighed.

“It’s okay, and I’m sorry too. It’s hard for me to give up control and let someone else fight my battles. I feel like I’ve been doing it all on my own for so long, but at the same time I feel like people have done everything for me and I want to have control now. I know that doesn’t make sense, but going from the celebrity life back to ‘normal’ is not an easy adjustment. I trust you…I really do, Justin. And I know you don’t regret this afternoon. I was just confused. I didn’t know what to think, or how you felt about me,” I said.

He rolled us so my back was pushed into the mattress and he rested his body partially on top of mine. His hand at my hip moved upward, over my chest and neck until he ran his fingers against my jaw and into my hair. Leaning closer, so our lips were almost touching, he whispered, “Then let me show you how I feel about you.”

As his mouth covered mine, I gasped at the contact and he slid his tongue inside.
 
T
his wasn’t like this afternoon.
 
W
e didn’t need to worry about getting caught by anyone.
 
W
e were alone, in his house, in his bed.
 
T
his was slow and sweet.

His hand went under my t-shirt and, before I knew it, the whole thing came up over my head. After tossing it on the floor, he returned to my lips. He clasped his hand in mine and held it up above my head. He kissed down my cheek, touching his tongue to the sensitive spot behind my ear. I moaned a breathy “Oh.” His tongue travelled down my neck and chest until he reached my breasts. He shifted to grab my other hand in his and guided that one up as well.
 
W
ith both arms above my head, I felt helpless. He kissed all around my breast, purposefully not hitting the target. My hips started to sway, reaching for some sort of friction to relieve the burn between my legs.

When his warm mouth finally covered my nipple, I arched my back to get closer to him. “Oh God, yes, just like that,” I murmured. Justin hummed a slow “Mmmm” that made my burn turn into a full blown fire.

“I want to touch you,” I said in a raspy voice.

He didn’t even look up at me, just kept worshipping my breasts, going from one to the other and back again. “No baby, first I’m gonna drive you wild.” He started trailing kisses down my stomach. My abs clenched knowing what was coming. I had never been a big fan of oral sex. Probably because all my partners were just quickies to fulfill a need. Oral sex was intimate. Private. Something you didn’t share with just anyone.

When he got to the top of my panties he stopped and looked at me. “I need to let go of your hands but keep them right where they are.” I nodded at his command. Funny how normally his bossiness would be the start of an argument, but not here.
 
T
here was something about him being in charge of my body that made this so hot.

He pulled my panties down my legs and tossed them on top of my t-shirt. At first, he just stared at me. It was a little embarrassing being so exposed like that, but he didn’t make me squirm long. He leaned down and planted a soft kiss on the inside of my thigh.
 
T
hen the other side. Just like with my breasts, the anticipation was killing me.

“Please, Justin,” I groaned.

“Please what, baby?”

“Touch me.” I opened my eyes and looked down my body. “Kiss me,” I whispered. He winked at me and leaned in to run his tongue through my sensitive folds. My hips jerked at the contact.

“Keep still, baby,” he said and then blew right on my center before diving back in. It didn’t take long. He had me so primed that by the time he reached his hand up and slid in two fingers I clenched around them, calling his name.

The orgasm shook my entire body, and I faintly felt him kissing his way back up my stomach as I floated down from the clouds. He stripped off his shorts and boxers and added them to our ever growing pile of clothes. Reaching for the nightstand next to my head, he opened the drawer and pulled out a condom.

He stood on his knees and sat back onto his calves as he ripped open the foil packet with his teeth. I finally had the chance to get a good look and the boy did not disappoint. He smiled as he rolled the condom into place, likely noticing that my eyes were firmly stuck staring at his manhood. He hovered over me and looked into my eyes. I let out a small gasp as he slowly entered me.

“Put your arms around me,” he whispered through his labored breaths. I instantly obliged and held him tight.

“Damn, you feel good, honey.” As he began to thrust into me over and over, I could feel the burn start to build again. In an instant, Justin sat up, carting me with him. He kept going, falling onto his back, never losing our connection. As I began to ride him, his sturdy hands smoothed over my body, kneading my breasts and gripping my hips. He reached between us and his thumb hit my sweet spot. I threw my head back and tried to catch my breath.

Damn, this felt amazing.

He felt amazing.

We felt amazing together.

“Get there, baby,” he rasped.

At that moment, the second orgasm ripped through my body. It was less of a shock than the first but still felt incredible. Justin flipped me to my back so he was on top as he pounded into me in a punishing rhythm. I opened my eyes to see his were closed tight. He shoved his face into my neck and pushed into me one last time as deep as he could go. His body jerked as he grunted, “Oh….yes….Lil,” through his release.

He let all his weight fall on top of me as I traced circles onto his bare back.

“Am I too heavy?” he asked.

“A little, but I’m okay,” I answered. He shifted to the side and rolled onto his back. He pulled the condom off, tied the end and threw it over onto our pile of clothes.

I giggled. “Gross, Justin, you need to get up and throw that in the garbage.”

He grinned, but never opened his eyes. “Too tired.” He turned his head to look at me as his grin turned into a full on smile. I realized at that moment it had been a lot of years since I really looked at his smile. It was mesmerizing. I leaned in and gave him a light kiss on the lips. “You okay?” he asked.

I was. It didn’t matter what Colton had done, or what he was planning to do. It didn’t matter what anyone thought of me for quitting the business. Nothing mattered at that moment. At that moment it was Justin and Lil.

“Yeah, baby,” I whispered. “I’m perfect.”

The next morning I opened my eyes to find myself alone in bed. Looking around the spacious room, I realized Mr. DeLuca had some damn fine taste. Either that or he hired a decorator. I had been to Justin’s house many times before, but only into his bedroom the night of our first date.

His bed was gigantic, a king, with a tall wooden headboard and footboard. His sheets were softer than anything I’d ever felt, and I had stayed in some pretty swanky places over the years. His comforter was a light tan with bits of dark red, green and a deep eggplant. A dresser with mirror sat off to the side, and another tall chest of drawers rested near the door. Straight through the back of the room was the master bath.

It was immaculate. Justin told me during one of our many phone conversations, while sequestered in the house from the paparazzi, about his renovations.
 
T
his bathroom alone must have cost him a freaking fortune. It was all tiled, even part of the walls. In the corner sat a deep bathtub with jets.
 
T
he shower rested just beside it with two large glass doors at the entrance. I licked my lips thinking about being in the shower with Justin. And the best part?
 
T
here were two nozzles so no one would ever have to be cold.
 
Y
es, please.

I looked in the large mirror above the dark granite countertop and jumped at the sight. Holy Hell. I hope Justin slid out of bed and didn’t get a good look at me this morning. My mascara was smudged and halfway down my cheeks. And not only did I have that going for me, but my crazy sex hair made me look like something out of an Eighty’s rock video.
 
Y
es, I was your modern day female version of Alice Cooper.
 
Y
ikes.

I made quick work of cleaning my face and attempted to finger comb through my hair. I always kept a hair tie around my wrist for emergencies and I was pretty sure this occasion could be considered just that.

I walked down the stairs and found Justin sitting at the kitchen table dressed in ratty jeans and a perfectly fitted, faded red t-shirt.

“Good morning,” he said from behind his coffee mug. “Coffee?”

“Yeah, I can grab it.” I shuffled over to the coffee pot and took a guess that the mugs were in the cupboard directly above it. I was correct.

As I poured myself a cup I said, “You’re up early.”

“I’ve been up a while, actually. Life of a farmer, babe, gotta get up early to get everything done.”

I just stared at him. He would’ve never made it living with me on the road.
 
T
here were nights I was so pumped after a show I wouldn’t make it to bed until the sun was coming up. I’d sleep all day and usually get up and eat my breakfast around four in the afternoon. Idly, I wondered what time it was right then.

I looked over to the clock on the stove to see it read 6:55am. I blinked a few times to make sure I was reading it correctly. I’m sure it probably looked like my eyes were going to pop out of my head. Holy smokes, it was early. Not even the strongest cup of coffee was going to help me through this day.

Justin chuckled at my expression and asked, “You want breakfast?”

“Ugh, no thanks. My stomach doesn’t wake up for at least another hour.”