Home: A Novel (20 page)

Chapter 20

Lily

I
covered my ears with my hands. 
T
he sound of the gunshot was so close it was like a bomb going off inside my ears. It took a moment to register that I was still alive and didn’t feel any pain. I hadn’t been shot.

I turned my head to see Sarah lying on the ground with blood oozing from her midsection.

“Sarah, no!” I cried as I crawled my way closer to her body. I didn’t make it all the way there before I heard more yelling.

“Freeze! Don’t move. Drop the gun and put your hands where I can see them.”

Colton put his hands up as I crawled closer to Sarah. I was almost there when he grabbed me in one swift motion and positioned me in front of him, pointing the gun to my head.

“Back the fuck off or I shoot her, too,” he said.

I could see Alan, along with three other men, walking in our direction with their guns pulled.
 
T
hey all stopped and put their hands in the air to show no harm.

“Colton, let Lil go and we can talk.
 
Y
ou don’t wanna do this. Sarah’s on the ground bleeding to death. Let us get her some help. A murder charge isn’t something you can talk your way out of, buddy,” Alan said.

“Fuck you,” he said back to Alan. His hands were starting to shake so much that I could feel the cold metal of the gun barrel vibrate against my temple.
 
T
he realization of what he’d done to Sarah was starting to sink in. His voice trembled as he screamed, “I want my fucking money!”

“Colton,” I said calmly, “I can get you money. I can get you a lot of money. Please, just let me go. Somebody needs to help Sarah.
 
W
e need to help her or she’ll die and no amount of money I give you can help you out of that.”

The men all continued to slowly inch closer, their hands out in front of them like they were approaching a wild animal. Colton was so worked up I don’t even think he noticed. I caught Alan’s eyes as he slid them over my shoulder. Someone was behind us.

Please God, let it be Justin.

Alan kept talking to Colton, trying to get him to remove the gun from my temple. Every time he asked, Colton would jostle me around in protest and squeeze my arm just a little bit tighter.

Alan looked over my shoulder one more time when I noticed he gave an almost imperceptible nod. I looked him straight in the eyes and watched him mouth the words ‘get down.’

I let my body go limp and fall to the ground. I could feel Colton trying to hold me up as he sputtered, “Fuck, Lil.” Suddenly, I was again on the ground. I looked over to see Colton lying face down as Justin and Alan wrestled the gun away from him. One of the men ran up and whipped out a pair of handcuffs.
 
W
ith a knee shoved in his back, it took him only seconds to secure the cuffs on Colton.

I scrambled as quickly as I could to Sarah. Her eyes were open but they looked glossy. I removed my jacket, wadding it up into a ball and pressing as hard as I could to her midsection to stop the bleeding.

“Hang on, Sarah. Please hang on,” I pleaded with her.
 
T
here was so much blood. I looked up to see David running toward us.
 
T
o my surprise, Missy was right on his heels. As they got closer, I could hear him on the phone with the paramedics. Missy was carrying a large black duffel bag that landed with a
 
thump
 
as she dropped to her knees next to me.

“Sarah, my name is Melissa and I’m here to help you, okay?”

I looked up into David’s eyes.
 
T
he anger overpowered, but the pain was there as well. It was just deeper.

“Lil, I need you to step away, okay? I’m going to do everything I can to help your friend, but I need you to give me a little space.”

I stood by David while Missy continued to work on Sarah.

“Paramedics are on the way,” David said in my ear. “I was on my way back here when I heard the gunshot. Missy is an EMT. I figured she’d be more help than any of us.” I nodded but never took my eyes from Sarah. I felt like the life was draining out of me by watching this happen to her. Betrayal or not, she’d been my rock for so many years.
 
T
he hurt I felt watching her bleed was almost unbearable.

It wasn’t long before I heard the whirl of sirens coming our way. I knelt down by Sarah’s face and took her hand in mine.

“Lil,” she whispered softly. “I’m so sorry. I should have never listened to him.
 
T
his never would’ve happened if…..”

“Don’t, Sarah. It’s over now. Let’s just get you fixed up, okay?”

“I need you to know.
 
Y
ou’ve been…..” she started to close her eyes and drift off.

“Sarah! Stay awake! I need you to keep talking,” I said as tears streamed down my face. Missy was still applying pressure but the blood was everywhere. She gave her a shot and told me it would help her pain until the ambulance got there.

The rest of the paramedics arrived and began working on her. Once they got an IV started, they put her on a stretcher and wheeled her to the ambulance. I followed alongside, not wanting to leave my friend.

“Lily,” she reached for my hand. “I love you.”

“I love you too, honey, but don’t you dare talk like you’re not gonna make it. I’m right here, it’s okay,” I said back to her.

“Please know….I never meant to hurt you.”

“I know. Hang on, Sarah. Please.”

As they lifted her into the ambulance, Missy turned to me, “You can ride along if you want. Otherwise she’ll be at Dexter City Hospital if you want to meet us there.”

“Thank you, Missy,” I said. She reached over and squeezed my hand.
 
T
he look in her eyes was warm. Maybe she wasn’t such a heartless bitch after all.

I felt a strong arm wrap around my middle from behind.
 
T
he realization of what had happened in the last hour hit me like a truck. My knees gave out and I let my weight sink into Justin as the tears began to fall.

“It’s okay, baby, I’ve got you,” Justin whispered in my ear. I turned around and buried my face into his chest as my body began to shake with sobs. “Go ahead, we’ll be right behind you,” he said to Missy.

I cried for my dear friend and said a prayer that God would show her mercy and spare her life. I cried for what Colton had done to me once again, and the realization that it could have been so much worse. Last time he not only beat me half to death, but killed our child in the process.
 
Y
et this time, what with his wielding a gun around and then shooting Sarah, I knew it could have been me he shot just as easily. A shiver raced through my body at the thought.
 
W
ith that, I took an inventory of my own injuries. I was a little sore in the ribs and could feel the burn from where he hit me with the butt of his gun. Otherwise, I wasn’t in bad shape. I took a deep cleansing breath and, on the release, felt my nerves calm.

“Better?” Justin asked.

“Yeah.
 
W
here are they taking him?” I gestured toward the other end of the alley where Alan was guiding Colton into the back of a squad car.

“They’ll take him to County,” he answered. “You need to go down there to give your statement as a witness.”

I nodded.

“Honey, you should know up front. I know you saw Alan come around the corner of that garage, but I was the first one here.” He licked his lips and swallowed.

Why would he be so uncomfortable about seeing everything play out?

“I heard Sarah yell.”

“Okay,” I said. “I don’t get how you hearing her would make you uncomf…”

I stopped mid-sentence and closed my eyes.

Shit.

I never wanted him to know. Not ever.

“Lillian,” he whispered.

“No.
 
Y
ou do not get to feel sorry for me.”

He shook his head. “That’s not what I’m doing.”

“Justin, I don’t want to get into this right now. Please. I need to get to the hospital and be with Sarah.”

“Fine,” he bit out, obviously not happy that I would forgive her so easily after what she did to me. “But we are not done talking about this. Lil, I know it’s none of my business, but I need to know what happened.”

I shook my head.
 
T
here was no way I was letting myself relive that day again just so he could sleep better at night. He knew the main points. Case closed.

Suddenly, I was being pulled around the side of the movie theater. I could hear Justin breathing heavily through his nose. He was obviously mad I didn’t feel like having a complex conversation, but I did not have time for this right now. I jerked my arm away from his grip to no avail. He glared at me, grabbed my hand tighter, and continued until we were out of sight from everyone else.

“Did you not just see what happened over there? Seriously, do you really think this is a good time to get me pissed at you?” I asked as I ripped my arm back from him. I needed to make myself feel like I had a little control over this situation. I had just been held at gunpoint and witnessed my best friend being shot for Pete’s sake.

“Do you really think I’m gonna let the woman I love brush me off without telling me everything that happened when that stupid motherfucker beat you up while you were PREGNANT?” he yelled. “Damn it, Lily. I understand that you don’t want to talk to me about it. I get that. I don’t need to know the play by play and I
 
W
ILL NOT make you relive that nightmare just so I can hear every detail. I just want to know what happened. I need to know. I need to know so we can put it all behind us.” He was breathing heavy when he finished.

My mind was spinning. “You love me?” I gasped.

He got his breathing under control but still glared at me like I was an idiot.

“Since I was eighteen years old.”

“Oh my God,” I said as all the breath whooshed out of my body.

He put both hands on each side of my neck. His thumbs ran back and forth across my jaw as he looked into my eyes.

“Please,” he whispered.
 
W
hen I didn’t respond he leaned in to touch his forehead to mine. “Was he the father?”

I nodded, the lump in my throat too big to let any words pass through.

“Did you love him?” he asked.

I let out the breath I’d been holding. “I thought I did at one point. I think it was more of an infatuation with what he was able to give me. Or at least, my career. I didn’t realize he was just using me to get ahead at the label until it was too late. He wanted me to get rid of the baby but I couldn’t do it. So….he beat me up.”

He placed a soft kiss against my lips.
 
W
hen he pulled back he ran his thumbs over my cheeks to brush the tears that had once again spilled out of my eyes. “I’m so sorry.
 
T
hank you for telling me.”

I looked into his eyes, searching. For what? I didn’t know. Maybe the answers I had been looking for all these years. Maybe for my future. I didn’t know how our story would play out, but I did know whatever story I’d once had with Colton was over.

“Thank you for loving me,” I whispered.

“I will always love you, Bright Eyes. I want to build a life with you, have a family. Please don’t fight me on this.”

I smiled and said, “I’d never fight you on that. Never.”

Chapter 21

T
he hours following the Harvest Festival became quite a blur. 
T
hankfully, word never really got out to the public of what actually happened. 
W
hile Sarah was in surgery to remove the bullets Colton embedded into her thigh and her abdomen, Justin took me down to the County police station to give my statement about what I witnessed.

Alan had one of his colleagues do the questioning since he knew he’d have a hard time listening to me give details of what went down between the two of us. Justin, on the other hand, sat right next to me the entire time. Each time I would elaborate on something that happened his fingers would tighten on my thigh. Eventually, I had to reach down and hold his hand in mine so I didn’t have yet another bruise on my body to deal with.

When I was finished, I hugged each of my brothers who were waiting for us outside. Mama and Dad were there by then too, having stopped first at the hospital to check on Sarah.
 
T
hey let me know she was in surgery but that David was at the hospital and we should go be with him.

As we hopped into the truck, I assumed Justin would start it up and head out. David was his best friend, after all, and he needed some support right now. I’m sure he was reeling over what happened. I had found out during Justin’s statement to the police that it in fact was not David that gave Sarah the sex hair before my gig, but Colton. I knew before he even said the words that David must’ve seen or heard them which had to be unpleasant for him. I assumed that was how they knew where to find me when I took off after the show.

“I know she’s your best friend, Lil, but I don’t think I can be there for this,” Justin said from next to me in the truck cab.

“I understand, but what about David?”

He sighed. I could tell he wanted to be there for his friend.

“I don’t know if I will ever forgive Sarah for what she did to me,” I started. Justin looked at me in shock. I knew he was thinking I would just let it go because she was hurt. “She betrayed me in the worst way. And for what?
 
T
o get more money? It makes me feel sick to think of what could have actually happened today.
 
W
hat if he…” I trailed off. It physically hurt to think if he’d shot one of my brothers. Or Justin. I don’t think I’d be able to live with myself.

The reality of the entire day washed over me again. My hands shook as my brain let sink in what I’d witnessed just a few hours before. I dropped my head into my hands and let myself cry.

“Hey,” Justin said as he reached for me. “Lily, please don’t cry.”

He pulled me until I slid all the way across the seat.
 
W
ith his hands under my arms, he lifted and turned me to sit on his lap. I put my face into his neck and wrapped my arms around him as tightly as I could.

“Sshh, honey, it’s alright,” Justin reassured me while gently rubbing my arms and back. “Sarah will come through surgery fine and everybody else is okay.”

“I know,” I wailed. “It’s just that the thought of losing you hurts so much.
 
W
hat if he shot at you?”

He chuckled at my question.

“I am not being funny!” I scolded him.

“Honey, you’re being adorable. Listen, I know it hurts you to think about me or your brothers getting hurt. Do you have any idea what
 
W
E felt knowing you were planning to skirt your security to meet that asshole after your show? I was going out of my mind the entire time you were singing.
 
W
hich, by the way, was pretty tough considering you are so damn sexy up there on stage.”

He pulled back and kissed the tears rolling down my cheeks.

“I’m so proud of you, Lil. I understand now how hard it had to be for you to walk away from the spotlight. And I’m not just talking about the money and the fame.
 
Y
ou love it up there on stage, don’t you?”

I nodded. “I used to. But the other bullshit just didn’t make it worth it anymore.”

“I get that.” He brushed the remaining tears away. “Listen, no more crying, okay? Let’s go check on Sarah and see if David needs anything.
 
T
hen I’m taking you to your parents’ house so you can pack up the rest of your shit. I love you more than anything in this world and, after what I heard and saw today, I don’t want to be without you, Lily, not ever.”

I didn’t even have an answer. I just nodded. Justin raised an eyebrow curiously at me. I’m sure he was expecting a fight after his macho speak declaration that I was moving in with him.

“What, you’re not gonna spew swear words at me and throw a fit?” he asked as his lips worked diligently to fight a smile.

I shook my head. “Nope.”

“Wait, I better check you over where that gun hit your head. Maybe it hurt you more than we thought,” he teased.

I grinned at him. Always such a shit.

“Shut up, DeLuca, and let’s go see our friends.”

He kissed me hard and close mouthed. He couldn’t even contain his chuckles against my lips.

“Sure thing, Bright Eyes.”

Walking into the hospital waiting room was something I was not prepared for. David was sitting alone in a chair, his elbows propped on his knees while he cradled his head in his hands. I felt like I could physically see the weight of the world on his shoulders. He was confused. He was hurt. He’d been betrayed just as much as I had, if not more. And then to witness it firsthand, it made me so mad at her to think of what she’d done to him.

“Hey, bud,” Justin said as we got closer. “You hangin’ in there?”

David looked up at us. His eyes were cold and hard. He closed them when he saw me and turned to look out the window of the waiting room. I was wrong. He wasn’t confused or hurt. He was just plain pissed.

“Not really,” he bit out, and then took a moment to calm himself again. “The doctor just came out and let me know that the bullet was…..” He took a deep breath, shaking his head back and forth like he couldn’t believe what he was about to say. “I guess she lost a lot of blood before they started working on her.”

I felt my knees going weak. “David, please tell me she’s okay.”

He looked directly into my eyes and said with no emotion whatsoever, “I’m sorry, Lil, but she died fifteen minutes ago.”

My knees buckled and I felt myself sliding down to the cold tile floor. Justin was there immediately to catch me. He picked me up and sat me in a chair, never once letting go. Besides my own child, that I never even had the chance to meet, I had never lost anyone I was close to.
 
T
he pain ripped through my body, shredding everything in its path.

Sarah. My best friend for the past twelve years.
 
T
he one who ran interference during meet and greets because she knew the fans that would creep me out before they even got to me.
 
T
he one who sat with me in my bus watching reruns of
 
Friends
 
for hours on end when I just needed to block out the world for a while.
 
T
he one that always treated Colton badly, just because she knew it would make me smile.

I hugged David but his body was rock solid. He softened a little as he put his arms around me while I cried. I cried for the pain I felt, and the betrayal. It was such a moment of mixed emotions, because that hurt was also mixed with anger. David apparently didn’t feel any of the hurt, only anger.

Missy came in carrying two Styrofoam cups of coffee. “I’m so sorry, Lil,” she said as she sat down next to David and handed him one of the cups. “I wish there was something I could do.”

“Thank you, Missy.
 
Y
ou did everything you could.” She gave me a small smile. Maybe we were turning over a new leaf and could be friends.

I turned to Justin who was on his phone letting Alan know the charge against Colton needed to be changed from attempted murder to first degree murder. I let out a sigh of relief knowing he was going to prison for a long time and wouldn’t be able to hurt anyone I love again.

I grabbed my own phone, dreading the call I would have to make to Sarah’s parents. I knew they weren’t a close family, but they still deserved to know about their daughter so they could make the necessary arrangements.

“I’m gonna take off,” David said. “I just wanted to be around when you guys got here.” He looked back toward the doors into the hospital like he couldn’t escape fast enough. I couldn’t gauge his emotions.
 
T
he anger was evident, but he felt nothing else? Seriously? Sarah was dead, and even though they’d only known each other a short while, there was some sort of connection there. I couldn’t believe he was so okay after everything that happened.

After David left, we didn’t stay much longer at the hospital. It was almost morning, I’d been up all night, and I was emotionally drained. I didn’t think my body could physically handle any more pain.

Justin was very quiet the entire drive home. I stared out the windshield as fields and trees passed by, too exhausted to register where we were. I didn’t even realize we completely bypassed my parents’ house and went straight to his farm.

“I thought you wanted me to pack,” I said, my voice completely void of emotion.

“Let’s get some rest first,” he answered. “We have plenty of time to get your things later.”

We walked into the house and straight to the bedroom. Justin helped me get undressed and we crawled into bed. As I laid on my back, staring at the ceiling, I could feel the tears slip from my eyes and slide into the pillow. Justin wrapped himself around my body, holding me while I mourned my longtime friend.

“This hurts.”

“I know. I love you,” he whispered softly into my ear.

We stayed in that position until my body finally gave in to sleep.
 
W
hen I woke up that afternoon, Justin was no longer in bed with me. In place of where he laid next to me last night was a single rose. Underneath was a note that said,

Coffee maker is ready – just push start. Love you. Be back soon.

With my cup of coffee in hand, I walked out onto his big wrap around porch. I sat down on the swing and let my mind go over the events of the day before. Sitting there, I made the decision how to live the rest of my life. I would not let fear keep a hold of me any longer. Colton was out of my life for good. All those demons had been exorcised. And while I still felt the betrayal from Sarah cut me deep, I knew that she was scared and desperate. Colton had manipulated me for years so I couldn’t blame her for letting him get to her, too. Holding on to that hurt wouldn’t help anyone. It wouldn’t bring Sarah back, and it wouldn’t make me feel any better about myself. I had to let it go.

It wasn’t long before I saw Justin’s truck coming down the road.
 
T
he cloud of dust trailing behind his truck looked like a giant fluffy pillow. He pulled in and shot me a sexy grin as he walked around the back to open the tailgate.

“You gonna help me? Or sit there and enjoy your coffee?”

“I choose the coffee,” I said with a smirk.

He shook his head and chuckled.
 
T
hen he started unloading my suitcases and boxes. He slept a few hours last night then got up and went to pack up all my stuff. Boy, he’d stop at nothing to make sure I moved in with him.

After hauling the first load up to the house, he sat down next to me on the swing. “You doin’ okay today?” he asked.

I nodded and gave him a soft smile. “Yeah, I think I’ll be fine. I know the hurt won’t just go away but, with time, I know it’ll get easier. I’m sad. Even after what she did…..I’ll just…..I’ll miss my friend.”

He squeezed my knee and got up to get the rest of my things from the truck. After the last load was carried in, he stood next to the railing of the porch and looked out over his land.

“It’s a lot to process,” he said.

“What’s that?”

“Yesterday.
 
Y
ou screamin’ you love me and then storming out.
 
Y
our show, everything that went down after it. Sarah. It’s a lot for one person to deal with.”

“Yeah.”

“So here’s the thing,” he went on. “I feel like I’ve wasted the last twelve years of my life sittin’ on my ass waitin’ for you to come home. And what I realized yesterday during all that shit was I should have been by your side the entire time.
 
Y
ou never would’ve had to deal with that asshole and what he did to you.
 
Y
ou wouldn’t have gotten pregnant by him just to have him take it all away. I want to be the one to give you that. I want to give you everything, Lil.”