Holding On (29 page)

“Quinn?” he asked from the other side of the door.

“I’m coming,” she said as she
finished up.

When she
pulled the door open, he looked frazzled.

“Are you…” he grimaced. “Are you in pain? Or is that a stupid question? It’s probably a stupid question. You probably are,” he rambled.

“Not yet. So far it’s okay,” she assured him.

He nodded and tried not to look too alarmed over what he assumed was coming.

“
Ugh
,” she moaned as she looked down. Her pants were becoming wet again. “I’m still leaking! No one told me I’d still be leaking?!”

Luke choked out a nervous laugh
as he sidestepped her so he could get into the bathroom. “I’m going to grab a towel, okay?”

“What?” she
demanded, trying to look offended. “You don’t want this all over your front seat?”

He shook his head
and laughed again. “No. Not really, no.”

She
bit her lip and looked around as she realized something. “I don’t even have a bag packed yet. I should’ve done that but I just didn’t…I didn’t get around to it. I thought I’d have a few more weeks.”

“Okay…well, do we have time to pack?” Luke was looking at her quizzically.

Quinn laughed again. It was a strange sounding laugh. The sound surprised her but she was suddenly nervous and giddy. “Yeah, we should have time. Maybe lots of time. It’s hard to say.” She went to the closet and pulled out a small suitcase. Luke stepped out of her way so she could gather her things.

He watched her nervously the entire time.
This was exactly why he’d been staying. Or at least part of it. He was worried about this happening in the middle of the night. When she was alone. But he never really thought it would happen. Now that it was, he was both relieved and a little bit terrified that he was the one there with her.

Luckily, packing
didn’t take long. She was sure she grabbed the important stuff. And if she forgot anything…well, Carly or her mom or someone would most definitely pick it up for her.

After she was satisfied that she’d packed what she needed Luke took her bag from her. She stopped in the kitchen. She’d put the hospital’s number on the refrigerator. She
called in to the hospital, as they’d been directed to do in their childbirth class. It was to let them know they were on their way and give them a quick summary of progression. Contractions weren’t too bad yet. They were there but felt like nothing more than cramping. The hospital was less than ten minutes away. She wondered if she should stay home for a while because her contractions weren’t bad at all. Since her water had actually broken, they requested that she come in.

Luke led her outside, fretting over her. He held on to her with one hand and held her bag in the other. He tossed her suitcase into the backseat of his extended cab. Then he set out the towel and helped her in.

After he’d run around to his side and gotten in, he handed Quinn his phone.

She
took it but just looked at him.

“Aren’t you going to call your mom?” he asked.

Silence filled the cab as he backed up and maneuvered them onto the road.

“Why?” she
finally asked.

He shot a few quick glances her
way. “Doesn’t she need to be there? I mean, you want her there right?”

She shook her head. She
really didn’t want her mom there. “Having my mom there? It would be too stressful,” she explained.

He didn’t argue. He had no doubt Quinn was right about that.
“Can you call Carly?” he demanded.

She shook her
head again. Carly was several hours away. “It’s the middle of the night. She’d drive like a maniac to get here and probably end up in a wreck.”

“Lily?” he tried.

“It would take her an hour to get here. And she works in the morning. She just started at her job. I can’t ask her to take time off.” Otherwise, Lily would’ve been a good choice.

“Jemma?!” he finally asked. His tone held a mixture of frustration and desperation.

“Jemma?” she parroted back.

Jemma who claimed to
not
even want to have her own kids? Jemma who would probably prefer to skip the birth of her own kids, if she could? She grimaced at the thought of Jemma in the delivery room trying to coach her, or calm her. Oh, heaven help her. No. She loved her. But
no
.

“
You weren’t planning on doing this alone, were you?” he finally asked. When she didn’t answer, his gaze swung back around to her. They were nearing the hospital and the streetlights cast just enough of a glow that he could see her face.

She was wearing her stubborn look and he sighed.

Her silence was his answer. No. She hadn’t planned on doing this alone. She’d planned on doing this with Jake. She hadn’t made a back-up plan yet. She thought she had another month to deal with it.

“You’re not doing this alone,” he said firmly. “You need to call Carly. Or someone. You need to call
someone
.”

She didn’t say anything. She
didn’t want to argue with him.

“Do you want me to call my mom? You know she’d c
ome in a heartbeat,” he told her. In fact, he knew that his mom would feel honored to be there.

Quinn
knew he was right. Nora
would
be there in a heartbeat. She would be thrilled and most likely she would be wonderful. She would be calming and comforting. She would know exactly what to say and do. But if she called
his
mom and not her own, it would break her mom’s heart.

“Thanks but no,
” she decided.

He let out an exasperated growl
as he turned into the parking lot. “You need to stop being so difficult! You
need
to have someone with you Quinn. I might not know crap about having a baby. But I know it has to be scary as hell. And I know it’s not easy. I know you’re going to need someone there to support you.”

“No, I don’t,”
she argued quietly as she rubbed her stomach. The contractions were completely noticeable at this point. But also completely bearable. “I can handle this. It’s just me and you, right?” she asked her bulging belly.

“Quinn…Don’t do this. Please don’t be stubborn about this,” Luke pleaded. “Not now. This is too big. It’s too important.”

“I’m not being stubborn,” she argued. “It’s just…” It was just that she really didn’t have anyone to call. “I can do this by myself.”

Luke gave her
a look that said he disagreed. It was a look she ignored.

“You can just drop me off at the door.”

He had the nerve to laugh at that.

She
glared back.

“No. Not happening,” he said, the laughter gone.

*~*~*

Half an hour later, she
was resting on the world’s most uncomfortable bed. Things were progressing along…
nicely
. At least, that’s what the nurse had last said.
Painfully
was more like it.

By the time an h
our had passed, doing this by herself no longer seemed like a good idea. She was seriously contemplating calling her mom, even though she really, really didn’t want to. Or Nora, she’d call Nora if it weren’t for the fact that her mother might never forgive her for it. She was already regretting not calling Carly the moment her water broke. She might’ve made it on time just fine. But now, as the time just kept creeping along…it made less and less sense to call her. She cursed the fact that it all had to be so complicated.

The nurse bopped in an
d out of the room to check on her. She gave Quinn a stern, reproachful look.

“Are you sure there isn’t anyone you can call?” she asked. It wasn’t the first time. She frowned as the question came out.

Quinn gritted her teeth and shook her head.

She
didn’t want to admit it. Not to herself. Not to the nurse. But the truth was…she didn’t want to be alone. It had been an impulsive decision.

When the nurse
came in again, she sighed at Quinn who was trying to convince herself to read the magazine she’d packed. She wasn’t really reading it. On occasion, she was gripping it so tightly she was crumpling and tearing the pages.

“There’s a gentleman outside who was wonde
ring if he could have an update,” the nurse said as she cocked an eyebrow at her.

“Luke?” she
asked no one in particular. “He’s still here.” He’d walked her in. Stood by her side as she signed some paperwork. He’d frowned as the nurse referred to him as her husband. He hadn’t said a word as Quinn corrected her. He’d even followed her to her room. She hadn’t protested so neither had the nurse that led the way. Then he’d kissed her on the forehead said, “Love ya Quinnie,” and told her that everything would be okay.

She
’d told
him
to go home.

She’d assumed h
e had. But now, she realized that was a silly assumption.

“
Handsome young man that looks as nervous as any new daddy I’ve ever seen?” the nurse asked.

Quinn realized i
t had to be him. No one else would be asking about her. She nodded.

The nurse gave her a kind smile.
“Oh, yes. He’s been here the whole time. I didn’t know he belonged to you because this is the first time he’s asked for an update. Do you
want
me to give him an update?”

“Can he come in?” Would he even want to come
in? He hadn’t offered. But maybe, knowing Luke, he hadn’t wanted to push. Insisting she call one of her girlfriends or her family was one thing. Insisting on placing himself in her room was something else completely. Maybe he’d been waiting for her to ask. Another contraction ripped through her and this time she didn’t do the best at breathing through the pain.

If Luke was out there, she
was pretty sure the doors weren’t sound proof. He’d be going crazy.

“You hang in there. I’ll go get him,”
the nurse said after she waited Quinn’s contraction out. Then she patted her hand and swished out the door.

Minutes later, just in time for another fierce wave of pain, Luke’s sweet
, concerned face peeked through a crack in the door. He hesitated before saying, “Is it okay—”

“Get in here.
Now
,” she said through clenched teeth. “
Please
.” The last came out as a whimper.

He cro
ssed the room and reached for her hand. “Don’t make me regret this,” he teased. She didn’t laugh. She squeezed his hand and he clenched his jaw.

When it passed, she
let go and took in a panting breath. “Don’t you dare go down there,” she said pointing to the end of the bed. “You stay right up here.”

His face crumpled into a look of a
comical revulsion. “Yeah. That’s not going to be a problem Quinn.”

“Okay,” she said as she rested her
head back in the pillows. She tried to catch her breath and relax before the next contraction hit.

“So…any idea how much longer this will be?
” She turned her head and glared at him. “Hey, don’t look at me like that,” he said with a soft laugh. He wiped a lock of her hair off of her cheek. “I’m just curious. It’s not like I have any experience with this. I know you don’t either. But at least you went to classes. I know you read some books. And women? They talk, don’t they?”

“Yeah, they
do. But I really don’t know.” She gave him an update. He gave her a blank face in return. He had no idea what most of what she said meant.

“What’s an epidural?” he asked with a grimace.

When she explained it to him, that it more or less took away all of the pain, she nearly laughed at his expression of relief.

“Good,” he said with a sigh. “I really hate seeing you this way.”

She had promised herself she wouldn’t cry. Not now. But a single tear found its way out.

“I’m so glad you’re here.” She could feel her
lip quivering as she quickly wiped away the tear with the back of her hand. She wanted Jake so badly she ached with it. But having Luke stay, knowing how hard this had to be for him, too. How emotional, it meant everything to her.

Luke’s eyes were
glossy with the threat of tears. “I would never leave you alone.”

“Thank you,” she
whispered.

He nodded and as her
face creased in pain again, he reached for her hand once more. “I’m here for you. No matter how long it takes.”