Hitting the Right Notes (8 page)

“Yes… and I wouldn’t mind skipping the breakfast as well, if this is the alternative.” Being naughty with Eric and at the same time loving and romantic, felt so right.

“Do you starve all your men to death?”

Could this man get even more perfect? Darya knew the ice wall that she had built around her heart was melting in record time and she was exposed as never before. Well, as exposed as once, but the destiny could not play that same trick with her, could it? Around Eric, it was impossible to think straight for more than a few seconds, which were the pauses she could get between his kisses.

“Love you… I love you my Daya…”

And suddenly the whole world froze again. Whatever beautiful emotions were flying in the air froze into icicles, then fell crushing on the floor.

He had called her
Daya
. That was not a mistake, not a mispronunciation.

“Tell me that was an accidental mistake… Tell me you didn’t mean it…” she all but chanted

He kept silent. He could not meet her eyes. Darya needed no further proof. He knew her stage name – he had known it for all this time and kept silent. Darya looked into his eyes and met the realization of the truth, which could be avoided for so long, but never forever.

“No, no, no… please… wait…” Eric’s words sounded frantic, but Darya could not hear through her blocked ears. She could only hear the crushing sound of her dreams falling down and being smashed.

“So much for letting myself dream again.” Darya whispered to herself. She was unable to move, though all she wanted was to run away and hide. She was unable to talk, though she wanted to scream and shout and tell him how she hated his lies. She was unable to cry, though tears were burning her eyes from inside. All Darya could do was staring into his deep eyes searching for an answer – one simple answer to a very simple question – “
why?
”

Eric was not ready to give answers. He was begging her to stay, to calm down, to listen to him, but both of them knew there was nothing to tell that could ease her pain. He had betrayed her.

Deep in her heart, Darya felt some kind of a strange relief. She was back to Earth, where everyone without exception betrayed her. Eric was not different than any other man and that gave some comfort to her – strange twisted comfort, but still one.

“I need to be alone,” she finally whispered. Her voice sounded alien to her – probably it was hoarse with so many emotions choking her. Eric strangely didn’t protest; he didn’t try to hold her back. He simply watched her dress up and walk to the front door.

Darya opened the front door of the cottage and burst out in sudden hysterical laughter. She had forgotten they were in a tiny cottage in the countryside – in the middle of nowhere, with one rental car to share for both of them. She didn’t have the keys, as Eric was the one to drive to the supermarket in the morning. She could’ve walked until she reached some inhabited area, that was probably only a few miles away, but in the matter of minutes the weather had changed from slightly cloudy to raining cats and dogs.
He
did mention something about feeling the weather... Funny, that he could feel the weather, which was such a distant and uncontrollable pattern, but could not be open to the human being next to him…

Running away was not an option. She was trapped by all means. Trapped in a tiny place with the man she didn’t want to see. Ever. Darya couldn’t stop her hysterical laughter – it was her who had come up with the brilliant idea to spend the weekend in that damned cottage, to risk staying alone with a man she had known for only two days, to trust him completely and let him betray her yet again.

“Are you ever going to learn your lesson, Darya?” But she had no answer to her question either.

The bathroom seemed to be the only isolated area, so she hurried to lock herself in there. She turned on the shower to silence Eric’s pleas from outside. She was not yet ready to listen to him. Sitting on the floor of the bathroom, familiar chill ran through Darya’s body. She was back to the point where she thought she’d never be again – alone, scared, and hurt.

Eric had lost count of time already. He had been circling the corridor, walking from the kitchenette to the bedroom and back, every time throwing a glance at the bathroom door with a vain hope that it would open.

It had been hours.

The double pouring sound of rain and shower blended together and had turned into constant background noise which was becoming intolerable.

He had tried everything – to beg her to open the door, to menace breaking it, and even to place some breakfast at the door and ask her to eat something. Nothing.

At some point he was afraid that she had fainted or that she could harm herself, but every now and then he could hear Darya walking from one wall to the other, which was only few steps in the tiny space of the bathroom, but that was an enough signal that she was alright – she simply hated him.

Losing all the hope, he thought to turn to the only help he knew.

Alison picked the phone at the first ring.

“Don’t tell me you’ve already messed it up.” Even caring and sweet Ali’s voice was now angry. How did she know why he was calling?

“Of course he has, why else would he be calling?” He could hear Margo’s voice next to her. They were both slightly out of breath and Eric assumed that they would be double angry now – firstly, as always he had interrupted them in a wrong moment and secondly, they had warned him so many times to either be completely honest or stay away from Darya.

“Turn on the loudspeaker, babe, I want to hear what he is going to whine about now.”

“Eric, say something, we are going mad here already,” Ali urged. Great, now they were also worried about him. Although it felt like a great idea to call them for some advice, now, the words were not coming out of his throat.

“We can’t see you, so at least say “yes” or “no.” Is everything alright with you and Darya?” Margo was always the practical one to find an easy solution in the trickiest of situations. Could there be anything worse than heartbroken Eric?

“No.”

“How bad?” He could hear Alison’s worried voice. He would give everything for them to be next to him now, so that they could hug him and promise that things would get better.

“That’s not a “‘yes or no” question babe.”

“I called her with her stage name. She knows that I know who she is…” he finally managed in tiny miserable voice.

“Oh no…”

“Is she angry? Mad? Did she dump you?” Eric was sure Ali hurt almost as much as him. His two best friends have been next to him during all these long years and they knew his feelings so well, that at moments it really seemed that they could share the same emotions.

“No, she locked herself in the bathroom. It’s been three hours, maybe longer. I don’t know what to do…”

“That’s bad,” Ali said. “Eric, listen, you should make her talk or at least listen to you.”

“Yeah, if she keeps silent, it’s not going to end up well. She will leave you sooner or later. Whatever you tell her can’t be worse than what she will imagine if you don’t tell her the truth.”

Eric was not sure what a woman could imagine that would be worse than his bitter reality, but he had learned to trust Alison’s and Margo’s advice. If two women – so different from one another – said the same thing, it had to be universal truth. He probably would have to pray for a miracle for Darya to listen to him. Part of him was also sure that she could hide in the bathroom for so long, but a woman like Darya would get bored sooner or later. And hopefully sooner than later.

“I’ll try.”

“We love you Eric!”

“Go make it right with your woman! We’ll call later to check on you. Kisses,” Margo made her last words sounds like commands. And command it was – to go and make things right and hope for her understanding.

The knock at the bathroom door seemed too loud. Maybe it was his oversensitive body reacting badly to stress, which was a usual thing with his problems. He was not sure if things went south how would his system react to it, but he was not going to think about the dark days just yet – there still was a chance to make it right. He knocked again and then he realized that the sound was not louder than it should be, it was the water which had stopped running in the shower. Maybe she’d finally come out. But that proved to be a vain hope. All he got was silence and the slim hope that Darya would be listening to what he had to say.

As he tried to talk, the shower started again. His woman was a big naughty child at times, but right now he couldn’t blame her.
What a couple we are!
So, Eric, a big child himself set down to think of ways to make a rebel teenage spirit listen.

There was only one bright idea that popped in his mind. Eric fetched his phone and played one of his most favorite songs by DaYa.

I have kissed the skies

Looking into your eyes

I’ve betrayed the sun

That is deemed by your shine

May the darkness reign

May there be no sun

I can’t care less… Just be mine

Beeee mineee

“This was the first song by you that I have heard years ago.” He started talking to her in soft low voice and from the sudden silence in the bathroom he could guess that Darya was listening to him. That encouraged Eric to continue. “I fell in love with it. Not just the music or the lyrics they were perfect, but what really touched me deep inside my heart the voice that sang those words. Then I made that voice and later also the owner of that voice part of my life.”

He chuckled nervously remembering his teenage years. He was a shy boy and didn’t have many friends.

Girls liked his looks, but as he was often bullied by tougher guys, they preferred to stay away from him. DaYa from his imaginations soon had become his best friend. He imagined there would be a day when they would meet.

“I started listening to your songs like an addict. I would often imagine being at your concert and then you would notice me from the stage and we would meet afterwards…” his voice trembled. Even now, years later he could feel wrapping himself into those warm imaginations before he fell asleep.

Darya was still silent, but through the door Eric could feel her presence – she was probably leaning over the door and only a piece of wood was separating their backs from leaning against one another.

“Those songs made me see a brighter side of the life. You know, I had really dark and gloomy fantasies when I was 1314 and then suddenly I discovered you and it felt like there had appeared a sun in my world.” He took another deep breath before he was ready to continue. “Alison and Margo were my only friends at the time. They often joked about me being in love with a star who was so out of my reach, but they also helped me to collect money to afford tickets for your show. I was so much looking forward to listening you live. And then… suddenly you announced that you were leaving the stage. The concert was cancelled and my whole world collapsed.”

Eric tried to gather courage to start telling the darkest part of the story, when the door opened and Darya took him into her arms. They stood there for several long moments – both of them silently weeping.

“I was always selfish – I never considered those, who were affected by my actions. I still
am
the same…” Darya whispered after long moments of silence.

Listening to Eric’s story made Darya remember herself at that time. She felt so lonely that she had to rush out of the bathroom and throw herself into his arms. She needed him to hold her even though she couldn’t yet forgive him for still loving the rock star and not the real woman – her true self. The woman here in his arms was not as dear and desired as the image one she had once created for herself in the music world.

Darya remembered the moment when she realized she didn’t need her career anymore. It was when Jay had told her that he was leaving her. It was not about her being unable to go solo or gather a new band. Especially at that moment, when they were on the top of fame and the fans craved for their music. It was the sudden realization that she didn’t need her career, her success, the fame and any luxuries that came with that if she was not loved for being just a woman.

It was a bitter realization that nothing had changed since then – she was still a star instead of a woman and the lump of jealousy still hang bitter in her throat.

“Let me finish it, please,” Eric whispered to her and she nodded, still unwilling to talk to him. Somehow, even her voice – the voice that had once made him fall in love with her, the voice that used to sing – was now hateful to her.

They slowly released one another from their tangled arms. Eric took her hand into his, kissed her knuckles. There was some fondness in his eyes, which felt new – a pattern that was not there before this. Could that be a tiny hope that this new emotion was developed towards Darya and not her rock star alter ego? She didn’t dare to cherish a hope like that, but deep inside her heart Darya wished for that more than anything else.

Eric walked them into the kitchenette and promised to continue the story only after Darya ate some breakfast. It was well past lunchtime already, but the morning croissant looked quite inviting and the sweet tooth inside her decided that some little delight would help her cure her wounds.

He kept mostly silent looking at her as she ate her belated breakfast. His stare felt warm, there was so much longing and guilt in his eyes, that Darya’s heart squeezed. There was a sad moment of realization that both of them were truly longing to be loved and held tightly in each other’s arms. Scare filled her as she admitted to herself that nothing had changed about her – nothing had any meaning for her if there was nobody in her life who truly loved her.

She had been avoiding her phone from the moment they had left the conference and didn’t even dare to check how many messaged Kiara had left for her. Somehow, none of that held much meaning to her now… or maybe it had never held any meaning at all.