Hitting the Right Notes (11 page)

Confused, Darya looked at Eric, who was beaming back at her.

“You know who I am?” She blurted out immediately, then realizing how stupid it might’ve sounded, she cleared her throat and tried to push her into her rock star mode. “Um hi Dave, nice to meet you,” she extended her hand to greet the man. Wow! This might turn out to be not as hard as she imagined.

“Of course I know who DaYa is. Mr. Stevenson never hires anyone if they don’t pass the rockstar face recognition test,” Dave said smugly. Darya could bet he had passed his exam without any failed answer.
Maybe I am still the star, maybe Eric is right and it’s only me who has forgotten about myself,
though Darya as she noticed her own poster hanging proudly on one of the walls. It was the cover from their first album.
Could I ever sing those old songs again?

The right question would be whether she would still believe in the brave and rebellious lyrics she once had composed.

The security guy cleared his throat to gain back Darya’s attention. She could admire her past fame some other time – they were here for work.

“Mr. Stevenson is waiting for you,” he continued in the same polite manner.

“Oh, does Anthony already know I am here?” Darya could not hide her surprise. She had already mentally prepared herself that she might have to remind everyone who she was and wait for weeks until she was granted an appointment.

“Of course, we informed him the moment your car parked at the entrance. That’s a company policy that all the staff know their current and former stars,” Dave felt slightly uncomfortable as the word ‘former’ slipped his tongue

Darya just nodded. It sounded much kinder than a “
failed star
.”

“Mr. Stevenson requires that he is informed immediately when a star visits, even if he is busy at the moment. I think he had been expecting your visit. He instructed us to lead you and your companion to his office right away,” Dave dropped a quick glance at Eric as if noticing him for the first time and nodded at him with brief courtesy.

“Expecting
?” Why would Anthony be expecting her? She had been lost to everyone for two decades, how could someone as busy and important as Anthony Stevenson still
expect
her?

Darya’s plan of leaving the past rest under its dust cover was in vain. As they followed Dave in the familiar, yet so estranged corridors of the company, the dust of forgotten memories rose from every step, it filled the air with forgotten smells and emotions. Tiny bits of her life were hidden in different corners of this studio and now her visit would shed new light at those memories and bring them out of the deepness of the part.

This was her home – her family. She didn’t need to remind herself that one never got to choose her family, it was in here DNA. How could she ignore it for so long?

Anthony Stevenson was already waiting for her in the corridor with his arms open and ready for a welcoming embrace. Tony had aged, his long straight hair and signature mustache were fully salt and pepper now.

“This is what I’d call the return of the favorite prodigal daughter of Rock’ n Roll.” There was a tiny sting of fatherly reproach in his tone, but Darya could not blame him. She had shut all of them out of her life and refused to even answer their calls until all of them simply forgot of her existence.

“Good to see you, Tony. You look good,” she said still cherishing the bear hug of the founder of RnR records – a person, who had been like her father and godfather along her path to the heights of fame.

“Well, well. Flattering an old man is always a good sign. You on the other hand look stunning Baby D.”

Anthony shook hands with Eric, without wasting much of his precious time on small talk with a stranger. That had not changed either – Tony could be an angel to those who mattered to him and simply ignore the rest of the world. But weren’t all of them doing it. Maybe that was also part of their rock star DNA?

“So, to what do I owe the honor of seeing the newly made business lady in my humble home?” Tony asked as he sank into his favorite rocking chair and observed Darya and Eric with his icy cold blue eyes. One sentence, which spoke volumes – he was informed about Darya’s current business and wanted to point that out; he was still offended that she had severed her ties with everyone in the industry after she quit her career; and third – this was still home to her as to anyone else in her family and despite the cold tone and inquisitive stares she was welcome.

“You are well updated. Never thought you were interested in anything outside music world,” she answered with a smile trying to hide her momentary unease. This was Tony. After all they had lived through ups and downs together; she could let her guard a bit down. She couldn’t say the same about Eric, though, whose whole body was tense and shoulders curled in slightly defensive manner.

“You are always part of the music world – whether you acknowledge it or not. But honestly, your business career was quite a surprise for me. I heard about it from Mike. He dropped by to give me the financial reports on DaBlazers recent tour and mentioned that you were back in the scene, so I thought you’d show up here as well sooner or later.”

“Yeah, the guys totally rocked,” her voice sounded traitorously nostalgic as she remembered the concert. Her friends had made it to the top and she was so happy for them, yet it made her own fall seem so much more painful.

“Nah, they have stopped rocking or doing real music long ago. What they do now is fill their egos with my money.” Tony snorted and shrugged as if it was the most normal thing to do. Which indeed was in their world. “What can I say -at least they didn’t run away and hide at the first obstacle that came their way.”

Did Tony know that every word was a spike through her heart? Of course he did! That was the whole charm of Anthony Stevenson – he could slap and caress at the same time. Eric took her hand and gently squeezed her fingers with reassuring smile. That reminded Darya why she was here. She swallowed her pride and ignored the sting of the words.

“I want to give it a try,” she said – no further explanation, no excuses. She could not handle all of that now. Better be done with this quick. Tony was not going to beat around the bush – she knew it well and appreciated his business approach.

“Huh,” another snort and a long pause. She felt the heavy weight of those piercing icy eyes, then his gaze moved to Eric and Darya could feel her sweet young boyfriend flush under the stare. Prolonging the silence for another moment Tony stood up and extended his hand towards Eric. “I believe you are the reason of this sudden change of heart.” Eric smiled with unease. He was not used to compliments, he might’ve been brave and persuasive when dragging her here, but right now he looked like a lost teenager, who was desperately hoping for rescue.

“He is.” Darya answered proudly.

“Then, all I have to say is welcome home, Baby D. I’ll see you tomorrow at 9 AM. I think we can make quite a noise around your return. Bring any music you have in mind and we’ll discuss the details.”

It was surprising how much changed within a few weeks. Only few short weeks compared to years that she had spent hiding from herself. For a few endlessly long weeks, Darya had now spent from morning to late night working on the new songs and rehearsing.

At times it felt the air was too thin in the studio and she was running out of breath. She could see no way out – she was trapped between desires and expectations of everyone. Yet, she could not deny how peaceful she now felt.

The contract that Tony had offered would not be considered the best deal, but both Darya and Eric thought that is was more than they could expect for a start. A star or not it had been around twenty years of silence and oblivion, which now hang heavily as a dark empty pit separating Darya from the stage. Sometimes, as she stared in front of her, Darya could visualize that pit – full of empty years of silence. Now that silence felt deafeningly frightening to her.

Tony agreed to record a new album with Darya. He was sure that with necessary amount of media coverage they could make her coming back into a real hit. His trust in her talent had not changed during these years – in fact, he agreed to give her complete freedom and only wanted to hear the ready songs to select those, which would be included in the album.

Darya was not sure whether that freedom was a blessing or a curse. She now often stayed in the studio until late night and only when everyone was gone would she find a piece of tranquility. Often she would spend those nights crying as doubt and fears would creep inside her and gnaw at her soul.

One thing she knew for sure it had not been this hard the first time. Back then, they didn’t know the consequences of success, so boldly and stubbornly they rushed towards it. Now, Darya knew how difficult it was to succeed, she knew that her famous name made it even more difficult, as the expectations were so much higher. Darya could almost feel the physical pain of comeback it hurt so badly as if she were physically climbing and scratching her body and soul on her way. She cried when she was alone. Tears felt more at ease to run down her face in solitude. It was probably another side effect of her former fame now as she was trying to climb to the top again, she could not let anyone see her weak and scared.

*

Darya had not realized it was already morning. She had spent another sleepless night in the studio all alone. Eric wanted to stay with her, but she insisted that he went home or spent some time with his friends. She could not be so selfish to keep him by herself day and night only to her comfort and encouragement from him.

She went out to the balcony to breathe some air. The morning chill enfolded around her. She stood there for long moments watching the sky change its color in lazy circular movements. Gradually the darker patterns melted into light peaceful blue. She could hear the melody of that peaceful awakening; she could feel the thousands promises that the new day brought over the city.

“Thousands promises, hopes revealed by the new light, that will burn in vain as the curtain of the night falls to devour them alive.
” She hadn’t realized she was singing, but the melody was so loud in her head and all the crashed hopes and dreams seemed to have gotten new wings and flew around her. They would be crashed yet again, she knew it deep in her heart, but right now, they had the wings to fly and the silent voices to turn them into a melody and she was going to use that chance. And she sang – loud and free knowing that only the sky and the empty city were listening to her.

Loud applause startled her. Darya jumped and turned abruptly to find Anthony standing between the balcony doors.

“This is what I was waiting for – this power that had been trapped inside you for so many years.” Tony might’ve been a successful businessman, but it was his delicate understanding of music that had allowed him to keep the company in a leading position for so many years. Being praised by him meant a whole world to Darya.

“Thank you Tony.” She said simply.

Darya was happy, but instead of fulfilling satisfaction she felt ache of insecurity and doubt nested deep inside her. She had been pushing it away from her trying to concentrate on the tasks at hand, but the more she was back into music and the more she felt as if she was wearing a mask or rather playing a role of a musician rather than being one. She was simply doing what she was expected to do, what everyone wanted her to do, perhaps it was also the only thing that she knew how to do, still there was a “but” that she was still too cautious to address. Every day she would promise to think about it later, when she was done with the day’s work. Every evening she would decide to stay a bit longer in the studio and work on the new songs when there was nobody around. And so the days followed one another and she would never really find time to get back to thinking over the troubling issues.

Several days later, Anthony asked her to have lunch together in the studio cafeteria. Darya didn’t like going there too often as she was always ending up being the center of everyone’s attention. Often she would see smirks and grins, which she didn’t consider very friendly. Some didn’t like her as she was back and received warmly by Tony so easily. She couldn’t blame them – it usually took years of restless work and efforts to be noticed by any producer, let alone the one who was at the top of the industry.

Most of them knew they had one chance and any failure was going to swipe their names from the music world forever, while Darya was here unforgotten and welcomed back. She felt a bit guilty for being luckier than many of them, but even so, she didn’t feel much joy. Luck didn’t mean much – it was a tricky thing to rely on and could turn away from one at any moment it pleased.

Tony was already waiting for her at his favorite table by the window. Darya was slightly surprised to notice that the day was bright and sunny. She grimaced, realizing that she had not allowed herself to see much sunlight recently. Was she punishing herself by locking herself in the studio all day long?

Her special lunch – beer with chocolate cake - was already on the table as was Tony’s cup of triple espresso. She hugged and kissed him tenderly; it felt good to have him back in her life. He had always been the fatherly figure that she never had. As before, Darya felt like a little daughter protected behind the strong wings of a father. That made her think of her mother, whose calls she had not returned for almost a week, but she was not ready to hear another string of warnings and plea to be careful and not hurt herself again. She knew she would have to introduce Eric to her sooner or later, but that was not happening today, so why worry about that right now?

Darya sipped her beer and took a mouthful of her cake covered by shiny dark chocolate. It tasted like heaven. She moaned softly and the chocolate melted in her mouth and mixed with the bitterness of her dark beer. While she felt unconditionally happy, she also realized that the only reason that Tony had ordered her most favorite cake and had it delivered here from the French bakery was that he was planning to have a not so pleasant conversation. She knew his old habits well enough to guess that much.