Hitman's Captive: A Bad Boy Romance (54 page)

“Well…it
would have been a good gesture.”

I
shrugged as I briefly considered the reality of my little fantasy, and his eyes
crinkled with amusement as he nuzzled lightly at me.

“Okay,
got it - next time, big, romantic gestures. I love you, baby.”

My
cheeks heated a little, but I didn’t think it was from embarrassment as he
kissed me again, his hands slowly rubbing my back and promising to relieve some
of the tension there.

Everything
conflicted within me as I tried to process the crazed emotions of the last few
days, and reconcile the promise in his eyes.

Laughter
from a little further up the garden path interrupted us, and as my eyes flicked
towards it, he drew us back into the small circle of trees.

“Come
with me, Bella. Come talk to me.”

“I
don’t want to.”

The
objection didn’t stop me from moving with him as my body refused to break that
firm contact.

Truth
was, I had no idea what the hell I wanted. I couldn’t work it out, and having
him here was making it impossible.

The
seclusion of the trees took me by surprise, the noise and lights of the party
fading away.

It
focused my attention fully on Seth, and from the way he was looking at me, I
could see the same thing in his eyes. Or maybe he’d been looking at me like
that the whole time. Those swirling gray depths made it impossible to think of
anything but the power and depth of that intense focus.

The
rough callouses of his palm stroked across my cheek again, playing in my hair
as he held me close, but as much as it was affecting me I didn’t encourage him.
I couldn’t.

“You
didn’t care that they were getting married? That we’re now step-siblings?”

I
still couldn’t believe that he hadn’t intervened - didn’t even seem
bothered
by that. I didn’t understand it, even as that controlled intensity came
into his eyes again.

When
he looked at me like this, I felt like we could do anything together - that
whatever he said was going to happen.

“No, I
really don’t. They can do whatever the hell they like - that’s never mattered. The
only thing that matters is the choice we make, Bella. What we want.”

“You
made it pretty damn clear what you wanted, Seth.”

“I
want you, Bella. Completely. Utterly. You.”

He
punctuated each word with a kiss as those steamy, passionate eyes bored into me
and my body shuddered with pleasure and need.

I
wanted so badly to give in, to believe him and be whisked away in the warmth
and certainty he’d always given me.

Instead,
I pulled back, the anger rising with the desire as I felt all my messed up
emotions starting to surge past that place I’d locked them away.

Everything
I’d forced myself to detach from was there waiting for me, and it terrified me.

“You
fucking left. The one time I stood up to my father - for you - and you left me
alone to deal with it. You fucking proved me wrong. And then I had to live…with
them…with this…with the whole god-damned mess while you
weren’t there!
”

Everything
I’d thought or felt throughout the last few days came crashing over me as my
hand slapped against his chest for emphasis and I broke down into tears. His
arms came around me as he murmured soothingly, but I didn’t want it. I shifted
and fought against him, but he just took it, the strength of his body secure
and solid against the fury and pain and despair while my emotions wrecked me.

God-damn,
but I hated this.

I
wasn’t an emotional kind of girl. Or I hadn’t been until I met him. And now…

“I…can’t…keep…doing…this.”

My
words were punctuated by gasps of breath as I buried my head against him, my
body shaking with the power of how I felt, but his solid support never
wavering.

“We
won’t. I promise you, Bella. I won’t leave again - not if you still want
everything you said you did.”

That
spawned a fresh wave of fury as I looked up at him.

“So my
god-damn opinion matters now, does it? I told you what I wanted before and you
didn’t fucking care. My whole life, my father thought he knew what’s best for
me - and now, you…you did the same damn thing. Walked away without even
discussing it. I…wanted…you. And you just decided I shouldn’t. I’m fucking done
with people deciding my life for me.”

I saw
the pain flash through his eyes as I compared him to my father, but I didn’t
let up. It was what I’d thought so many times the last few days.

His
hand was light on my cheek as he responded softly.

“I
know. I’m sorry, baby, it was wrong. It was your decision and I should have
believed in it. I was just so fucking caught up in everything that had happened
to Ryan and Becky. It kept playing out in my head, and I couldn’t stand the
thought of doing that to you.”

He
paused for a moment, moving us impossibly closer together as my head rested
against his chest, his strong hand stroking through my hair while he took a
couple of breaths and continued in that mesmerizing voice.

“I
couldn’t accept your choice because I was terrified that once you realized it
was the wrong one…you’d walk out a few years later. I couldn’t deal with that.
I didn’t trust you to know what it meant, and accept it. And I’m sorry, because
I should have. You’ve always trusted me, and you deserve that in return,
Bella.”

I
looked up at him, my heart in my mouth. I’d never seen him like this - so used
to his normal cocky arrogance that the sudden vulnerability took me by
surprise. He was being open and honest in such a serious way that…it felt real.

“And I
do now. I trust you, baby-Bella. If you tell me you want this - want me - I’ll
believe you.”

I
found myself caught in the beauty of his intense gray eyes, the way they framed
his words with that deep, touching belief.

I only
realized then that because he was the kind of guy who’d never doubted himself -
who had such astounding confidence in himself and the situations he was in - it
had been almost impossible to notice just how limited that was when it came to
other people. He’d never truly believed me when I said I wanted him, I loved
him. Couldn’t trust in it.

Except
now, he was.

My
fear and turbulent emotions from the last few days wanted me to distrust - to
hesitate, argue and strike back with everything I’d been through, but as I
looked up at him…it felt like he’d been through the same. Too much. We’d both
been through too much.

And he
was right - I trusted him. I always had.

“I
want you, Seth. More than anything I’ve ever wanted.”

I couldn’t
help myself, I smiled up at him through the echoes of tears and wrecked
emotions.

The
flicker of hope that some stubborn part of me had refused to let die burst into
flames, exploding through me as he swept me up in a kiss that set my heart on
fire.

*  *  *

We
made our way back through the wedding party, hand in hand with a lightness and
freedom I hadn’t thought possible.

I
still needed to talk to my father, but somehow that didn’t matter anymore. I
knew what I was going to say, and I knew how it would end - whatever his
reaction.

We
were together. The love and spark and fire burning between us was alive and
real and we were never going to let it go again.

That
was all I wanted.

Seth
walked protectively close to me, his large presence stirring my blood as it
always had while his grip remained firm on mine. I felt safe and protected in
the security of his body and warmth, in a way that was so much more intense now
I knew what it was and what it meant.

I
was his.

And
he was mine.

And I
knew exactly how my Navy SEAL would handle anything that dared threaten that.

The
warmth of his protection engulfed me, even as I wondered whether the mostly
drunken revelers we passed now noticed.

It was
hard to believe that the light and love shining between us wasn’t obvious to
everyone around, but that was probably a good thing.

It was
my father’s wedding - keeping the scandal to a minimum would be best.

At
least for his sake. Whatever happened between our parents, or between Seth and
I from here onwards, I was done caring about what others might think of our
relationship.

I
loved him - we were adults with no blood relation and we deserved as much
chance to be together as our parents.

Still,
part of me hesitated over the timing and the idea of spoiling their evening.
But it wouldn’t be long until they left on their honeymoon, and we were leaving
too. I wanted to talk to my father first.

I
wasn’t waiting until after the honeymoon for this.

We
spotted them off to the side of the main marquee, close together and smiling
and laughing as they touched each other lightly. It had been a good day for
them, and their obvious happiness reminded me of how I felt, making my heart
swell with warmth - for all of us.

Cora
noticed us first as we approached, turning and exclaiming - her focus on the
son she’d desperately wanted at her wedding.

“Seth!
You made it! I’m so sorry you didn’t get to see—”

“I
saw, Mom. I was there - you looked beautiful. I just didn’t want to make a
scene because I was a few minutes late.”

I
wasn’t entirely sure the latter was exactly the reason, but I couldn’t help the
smile as her face flushed with pleasure and she beamed at us.

My
father was a little more observant, his mouth tightening as he saw the way we
were standing together.

This
is it.

I spoke
before he could say anything.

“Father,
Cora - it’s been a wonderful day, and we don’t want to change that at all. But
Seth and I love each other - we’re together. We have been for a long time now,
and we don’t want to give that up because of your marriage. I really hope that
doesn’t cause too much difficulty for your—”

“Really,
Annabelle? Did nothing we spoke about get through to you?”

My
father’s voice was quiet but severe and his gaze hardened as he looked at me.

Seth
tensed beside me, but however much he might have wanted it, this wasn’t his
fight, and I squeezed his hand.

“It
did, dad. Honestly, it did. But it made me realize how much I wanted it - I
want that kind of crazy, all intense, passionate love you shared with Mom. I’d
rather have it and risk losing it than reject it outright.”

He
shook his head sharply, his eyes refusing to accept what I was saying.

“You
don’t know what you’re doing Bella - to me, or yourself. On my wedding day. If
you leave, I’m not sure I’ll ever forgive you.”

My gut
twisted, but I’d expected it. My father had never really heard a word I’d said
- just because I’d started listening to myself, didn’t mean I thought he would.

I
nodded as I spoke quietly.

“If I
don’t, I’ll never forgive myself.”

There
was no point arguing about it. Instead, I stepped forward and them both tightly
as I spoke.

“I
love you, dad. I don’t think we say that enough, and I want you to know. And
I’m glad you’re my new step-mom, Cora.”

I
could sense Seth’s surprise behind me, but whatever our misgivings about their
relationship, it was for them to decide.

Tonight,
they looked happy, and if there was anything that all of this had taught me, it
was not to assume what was best for others.

I stepped
back and took his hand again, smiling even as the emotions of the moment
overtook me.

“This
is about love. Nothing else. I hope you both understand that, and I hope you
have a wonderful honeymoon. We probably won’t be here when you get back, but I’ll
always pick up the phone. And I hope, when you get back, you’ll want to call.”

They
didn’t say anything - Cora seeming stunned, and my father…well, who knew what
my father thought - and we didn’t wait around to debate it further. I’d said
what I’d come to say, and I wasn’t going to wait to be disappointed.

We
left as we’d come, hand in hand and heading to the car park this time as I took
a few deep breaths.

Seth
squeezed my hand before putting his arm around me and pulling me close.

“I
love you. And I’m so fucking proud of you, Bella.”

I
leaned my head against his shoulder as we walked, taking strength and comfort
in his powerful presence.

“Do
you think—”

I
couldn’t help the question, and Seth squeezed me tighter, kissing my temple.

“Yes.
I can’t imagine anyone being willing to lose you, baby. He’ll call.”