Here For You (24 page)

Shaking my head, I put some pancakes on my plate and drowned them in maple syrup, my favorite. I looked up to see her with her elbows propped on the table and her hands pressed together under her chin. She had a smile on her face. “Would you just eat, woman?” I played, but she didn’t move. “Nothing happened, Mom. Becca and I spoke and things are good.”

Finally, she moved, placing some pancakes on her plate and pouring a small amount of syrup over them. She cut her two pancakes into four perfect pieces, ate one, swallowed it, and drank a little milk. “So, did you guys finally kiss?” she blurted out.

I had a mouthful of milk when she spoke. It shocked the shit out of me so much that I spat it out. I looked at her and she was smiling, which in turn, made me smile. She already knew the answer. Fuck, she made me feel like a ten year old instead of a twenty-three year old. However, I could talk to my mom about anything. When I said anything and everything, I meant it. I think the only thing I hadn’t spoken to her about was my feelings for Becca, but I was sure she knew anyway.

“Mom, seriously?” I grabbed some napkins to clean the spill from my throat.

“Honey, you know I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t want to know. I know it happened but I want to hear you say it.” This woman was such a smartass sometimes.

I stabbed a few pieces of pancakes and brought them to my mouth. “Yes, we kissed. Happy?” I shoved the yummy buttery goodness into my mouth.

“What are you going to do about Juliana?” Fuck
.
Couldn’t she just let me eat and not worry about that shit? But we were the same; we liked to get to the bottom of things.

I shrugged and kept eating.

“James?”

I didn’t want to look at her.

“Breaking up with her, Mom. You already know who I want to be with.” It was pretty simple. I had broken it off with girls before and there had been nothing to it. I hated the fucking break-ups over text, such a cop out. But I was pretty sure she’d figure it out when I told her that we needed to talk.

My mom finished her pancakes, picked up her plate and dumped it in the sink. “Don’t wait too long, James.”

Was she trying to give me a headache? I hugged her from behind. “I love you, woman. You know that?”

She nodded.

*

Something came up with work so I wasn’t able to see Becca for the rest of the day. She was pretty upset when I told her I had to run. Some idiot hadn’t been working correctly, causing a small incident, and he’d hurt himself on the job. Now we had tons of paperwork. I told Jim we shouldn’t have hired the asshole in the first place. The fucker did nothing but play around.

It was late when I finally made it home.

“Dude, what the fuck? I’ve been calling you all day,” I heard Paul say as soon as I opened the door.

I threw my helmet onto the sofa. “For what?”

“I don’t know, your girl said she’s tried calling and texting but you weren’t answering.” At the mention of ‘my girl’ I remembered the text and missed calls I’d never checked that I’d got from Juliana when I was finally able to check my phone. I had completely forgotten to contact her, and just when I was about to, Jim had called me with work shit.

Sitting down, I threw my head back so that it rested against the sofa. “Fuck, I forgot to call her. Jim called me for some shit, so I made sure I got home tonight instead of tomorrow. I’m tired and I don’t want to deal with this bullshit.” There was only so much I could take.

I pulled my phone from my pocket to check my text messages.

Juliana: Good morning baby (8:34am)

Juliana: Hey baby, I’ve been trying to call but nothing. Call me soon (2:10pm)

Juliana: Ok it’s been hours and you haven’t text or called me. Is everything ok? Are you safe? (3:30pm)

Juliana: Ok you are freaking me out. Are you ok? (5:02pm)

Juliana: I just spoke to Paul. He said you are still at your mom’s house. Please call me when you get a chance. I miss you so much, come back already (6:55pm)

Becca: Hey, just wanted to let u know that daddy will be home for my graduation. I spoke to the doctor and he said his wound is healing fine. And I never thanked u for the note this morning. I love u. Wish u didn’t have to go (7:45pm)

Fuck.

I looked at the time. It read 11:45pm. I knew it was late, but I should text them back.

Me: Hey Juliana, sorry, these past couple of days have been crazy. I just got in. Some shit happened at work so I needed to take care of that. Maybe we can get together and talk? I’ll call u tomorrow. Night (11:46pm)

I tossed my phone next to me. I needed a quick shower before I hit the bed. I needed to cool the fuck off.

I wrapped the towel around me, brushed my teeth and went to my room. Me and exhaustion didn’t mix well together. In truth, I turned into a fucking crazy beast. Three nights of no sleep was not a good thing for me. I quickly pulled on some boxer briefs and climbed into bed. Fuck, my bed felt so good, but it didn't compare to being in Becca's bed.

I heard knocking at the front door but Paul could get it; it was probably one of his fuck buddies anyway. I started to close my eyes when not even five seconds later my door creaked open.

“Paul, get the fuck out, I’m tired.” I was literally two seconds away from getting up and punching him square in the jaw.

Next thing I knew someone was crawling into my bed. “I missed you so much. I’m happy you’re home.”

It was Juliana.

Fuck.

Her hands were on my bare chest while her legs wrapped around mine to straddle me.

Fuck.

I could smell the strawberry lotion coming from her soft skin. I was too tired for this shit. Her breath was by my ear and her hair tickled my cheeks. “I’m going to show you just how much I missed you.”

Fuck.

becca

I honestly didn’t know how Emma managed when she couldn’t see Richard, because I was going fucking crazy without seeing James, and it had only been a couple of days. All I wanted to do was call and text him all day. I even wanted to drive to his place, just to see him for a few minutes, but I couldn’t take the days off work, nor could I miss seeing my dad.

Thank God that daddy was finally coming home today. He’d been difficult because he had to be in a wheelchair whenever we had to leave the house from now on. Telling a man who had been walking all his life, did his own shit, he needed a wheelchair from now on, was difficult. He wasn’t too happy with it, but he’d better not play with me. Since I got the call earlier, I needed to make sure I went grocery shopping before I picked him up.

As I was getting my schedule ready for the week I looked at my phone. It was 11:30am. I didn’t need to be in work for another hour. Emma was going to pick me up soon.

The front door swung open, scaring the shit out of me as I wrote the grocery list. When I turned around I saw Emma’s dumbass walking right into the kitchen. “Hey, bitch,” she said, trying to hop on top of the counter.

“Get your ass off of my counter. Don’t you ever fucking knock?” I told her as I continued to put the food away. “Besides, you’re supposed to be here at twelve-ten to pick me up for work. Not right now.”

When James left, I’d immediately called Emma. She had been another person I’d put on hold. For different reasons than I’d put James on hold for. Emma was always so happy and I didn’t need to force being happy at that moment, plus she was another person who was leaving. I called her and explained to her why I had been so distant. Of course she gave me the ‘I’m sorry’ speech, then came over and hugged me a bunch. She was a lot more forgiving than James was about the whole thing. And a lot more emotional. We cried for a few hours and she explained that she would always be there for me. She continued to tell me that I should’ve called her but fully understood why I didn’t.

“Shut up. Don’t think you’re getting away with it. I want the details on you and James.” She jumped off the counter and went to the sink to wash her hands.

“I told you already. We kissed.”

Just thinking about it made my cheeks flush. It was in this kitchen that it had happened and I wanted it to happen again and again. “I’ll be right back. Just let me get dressed then we can go.”

I walked past her as she said, “You mean, when you finish getting dressed you’ll give me the juicy details?”

I couldn’t believe this woman. I just shook my head and went upstairs. It was nice having her back though.

My car was in the shop. The other day while going to work it had broken down in the middle of the road. Thank goodness I was able to pull over in time. If not I would’ve been screwed. The mechanic said that the alternator went out so I had to order a new one. Now I was just waiting for it to come in.

After putting my uniform on, I put my hair into a low ponytail and went downstairs to join Emma. I was so grateful she was able to take me to work. If she couldn’t I’d have had to walk about four miles to get there.

“Can you believe we’re going to graduate soon?” she asked during the ride. She was ubér excited about school. I couldn’t blame her though, she had already been accepted to the university of her choice. Emma was a smart woman and I was so proud that she was going to do something to better this world.

I just stared out the window and enjoyed another beautiful day to be alive.

She touched my shoulder, which made me turn around to face her. “Aren’t you excited about it all?”

School just wasn’t for me. “Yeah, it’s cool, I can’t wait for my dad to see me.” It was because of him I was doing this anyway, and it seemed like he was going to be there to witness my graduation.

“Have you got any acceptance letters yet?” Emma asked.

I really didn’t want to talk about this, not right now. I had been trying to avoid this subject with everybody. It was just something I didn’t want to think about. I mean, after I graduate, then what? My dad was going to die soon. He seemed a little better, and he’d passed the week mark, but the outcome would be the same. After graduation I would not be leaving his side. I didn’t
want
to leave his side. But what would happen after he was gone? What would I do with myself? I wouldn’t have any good work experience and my certificate would be shit. The only thing I could look forward to was my father being there in the crowd with a huge smile on his face.

“Bec?” I heard Emma ask, her voice filled with concern.

“Yeah, sorry. No, I haven’t gotten any yet. Still hopeful though,” I said with a weak smile. Hopefully that would back her off of me for awhile.

“Well, you can always apply again for next semester.” Why was she pushing it?

Not even five minutes later and we were pulling into my job. Evans’ Diner, the place to go for the best cheesecake in the state. I wondered how long I would be working here. How long I would be waiting on tables and people. Fuck, I was going to be like Margaret. She was, like, sixty-five years old, and all she did was sit behind the counter, pouring black coffee to the customers all day. Who the hell was going to want me? Would James even want to stay with me when I become a bum?

Cat Lady. That would be me.

james

“Yo Jim, I’m not going to be here next week, alright? It’s Becca’s graduation and I have to be there,” I explained.

Becca didn’t graduate until the end of the week so if I got there Tuesday or Wednesday we could still spend time together. We’d been texting each other for the past week. It was the same as we normally would, but then again, it wasn’t the same at all. Becca and I had always text and spoke, but this time, now that we were together, it was more meaningful. She was so happy that her dad was home and I wished I could’ve been there when he got home, but work had been really demanding since I’d been back. All I did was wake up, eat, work, and sleep. I spent my time on FaceTime, or texting and talking with Becca on the phone.

After that night with Juliana, I broke things off with her the next morning. I hadn’t heard from her since then. I’d caught her off guard, and in a way, I’d caught myself off guard too. I’d always thought about being with Becca, but not really being with her, like it was all in my imagination, and now that it was a reality…it was crazy. I never thought I’d have to break up with someone to be with Becca and I definitely didn’t think I’d feel bad about it. Juliana was a cool chick and I really liked her, but it didn’t come close to the love I felt for Becca.

Juliana didn’t bother to call either. I tried calling her because she left her bra at my place but she didn’t answer. Oh wells.

“So you two are really serious, huh?” Jim asked, breaking me from my thoughts.

We were taking measurements to start building a brand new bathroom for a client. We were working with an architect named Bill. We’d worked with him a few times on other projects and our tag team work came out professional and always ahead of deadline.

I rolled out the blueprint to start working out where we could place the items the customer wanted in the bathroom, without it looking too cluttered. Bill stood next to me to view over his handy work. For some reason he liked my ideas. I wasn’t an artist or anything, but he said I had vision. So when our ideas mixed and Jim took the measurements we both wrote down the numbers. Then Bill started to sketch a little.