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I turn away, trailing my fingers across his desk as I try to shake the lingering loneliness the painting makes me feel. I absently open drawers, which are stuffed with socks and things that look like electronic components. As I’m shutting the last one, a folded paper catches my attention, or more accurately, the name
Reece
written across the page does. It’s written in a loopy, feminine cursive I still recognize, even though I haven’t seen it in six months. I know this is an invasion of Reece’s privacy yet it doesn’t stop me from pulling out the paper and unfolding it.

Reece,

I know Julia’s death has been harder on you than anyone else. While Evan can openly grieve her loss, you’re forced to hide your broken heart. And now with the sudden disappearance of your mother, along with losing your best friend, I can’t imagine how lonely you must feel. Or maybe I can. I miss the four of us hanging out together. I lost not only her, but you and Evan too.

You don’t have to go through this alone. I miss her so much it hurts. I miss the way things used to be. Maybe you and I need each other. We’ll still hurt, but maybe we won’t be so lonely if we could just talk sometimes. I’d like to be there for you, if you’ll let me.

Monica

I stare at the words for a long time, bombarded by thoughts and emotions. I wish I’d had someone to help me through my pain and guilt. I wonder what I’d be like now if I had someone who really understood. I hope Reece talked to her. Maybe he did. Evan said Monica helped Reece after Julia’s death.

A slimy feeling coats my skin as I tuck the note back in the drawer. I’m sorry I snooped but feel better about Monica. She’s nicer than Evan lead me to believe.

I decide to steer clear of personal items, but it’s hard to accomplish since this is Reece’s room. A couple of books lay scattered across the top of his desk. They look old, with worn covers and yellowed bindings. Checking the copyright pages, I notice they date before 1960. I pick up one,
Of Mice and Men
, and start reading, wondering if it was a school assignment.

Immersed in the story, I’m caught by surprise when I hear a door open in the living room. I’m laying on my side on Reece’s bed and I jerk upright, unsure what to do.

“
Julia?” Reece calls.

I sag back down in relief as he appears in the doorway. “You scared the crap out of me.”

He flops on the bed next to my legs. “I told you I’d be home around four.”

“
Yeah, well I don’t see any clocks anywhere. I didn’t know what time it was.”

He reaches past me to the nightstand and picks up a plastic square. He presses a button and a digital display comes up. “See? My alarm clock.”

I sit up. “How was I supposed to know? We don’t have anything like that where I’m from.”

He sits cross-legged. “Tell me about your world and I’ll tell you about mine.”

I belly laugh. “That’s like the cheesiest pickup line
ever
.”

He cocks his head to side with a wary look.

“
Never mind. Must be a cultural reference.”

We sit on his bed and I tell him about where I live and what my life is like. I tell him about going to the pool and hanging out with friends.

He can’t believe people sit by bodies of water, unprotected in full sun. “Why? Why risk your skin like that? Don’t you get skin cancers from sun exposure?”

“
Well, yeah, we can, but we like to be tan. You know, your skin turns brown.” After I say it, an image of a rotisserie chicken pops into my head, which makes me giggle.

His mouth sags open as though I told him the most idiotic thing in the world.

I shrug. “Yeah, it’s stupid.”

The light streaming through his curtains fades and I can barely make out his face as my stomach rumbles.

He hears it and smiles. “I should make you something for dinner.”

“
Please, God, not wafers.”

He laughs as he stands, extending his hand to help me off the bed. “No. How about spaghetti?”

“
You have spaghetti?”

We walk down the hall side by side, but Reece hasn’t dropped my hand and for some reason I don’t pull it away.

“
You are easy to please, aren’t you?” He teases as his hand lets go.

I expect him to pull out a pot and boil water. Instead he takes two pouches out of the cabinet and puts them into a rectangular box.

He looks up at my surprised face. “It’s a microwave oven. It heats up food.”

I grin. “We have those too.”

When the spaghetti is done, we sit at the counter and eat. Reece tells me about growing up in his world, which sounds remarkably similar to mine. He just can’t hang out outside.

“
You said Evan went to school today. How did he explain why he was gone? Didn’t people know he was missing?”

“
Everyone thought he was sick. Dr. Whittaker worried that Evan went off somewhere to kill himself. Given his position, it was an embarrassment. He figured if Evan didn’t, he’d be back, so they told people he was sick.”

“
Would Evan really do that?”

“
Evan was willing to risk his life to cross a universe to find you, what do you think?”

I touch my lips with my fingertips. He risked his life to find me. He risked his life to help me escape. Now he’s risking his life to save mine. And I repaid him by kissing Reece. The spaghetti in my stomach rolls in protest.

Reece touches my arm. “Julia, it’s not your fault.” I have no doubt he means our kiss.

“
Really? I don’t recall you forcing me to do it.”

“
I took advantage of the situation. You were tired and upset.”

I bite my lip. I know better.

“
Evan loves you more than he loves himself. You’ve been his life for longer than any of us can remember, his entire reason for existence.”

Tears spill over my eyelashes. “I’m not her.”

He sighs. “I know.”

I stare into his face. He looks paler than this morning with dark circles under his eyes. I wonder when he slept last.

“
You know, you look really tired. Why don’t you go to bed? I’ll sleep on the sofa.”

He shakes his head. “You sleep on the bed and I’ll sleep out here.”

I want to protest, but I know he’ll never give in. We clean up dinner and I go into the bathroom. When I come out, he’s in his room picking clothes off the floor.

I sit on the edge of the bed. “You don’t have to do that.”

“
I know. I needed to do it anyway.”

A folded nightgown lays on top of his pillow and my fingers touch the soft folds. “Your mom’s?”

“
Yeah.” He throws his clothes into a pile in the closet. “It’s not a big deal.”

But the tone of his voice tells me it is.

“
Thanks.” I murmur.

He stands in the doorway. “It’s just a stupid nightgown.”

“
Not just the nightgown. For everything.”

He shrugs and walks down the hall.

I shut the door and change into the gown. When I finish, I can’t decide whether I should leave the door closed or open it. The thought of being shut up in the room reminds me too much of my cell, so I open it several inches before climbing into bed.

Sleep is elusive. Just as I drift off, my body jumps and I’m awake. It seems like hours before I finally drift off.

I’m frantically swimming in a lake of icy water, sea monsters chasing close behind. One tugs on my leg, pulling me under the surface. I kick and thrash but can’t break free. My heart pounds in protest as the monster pulls me deeper. My lungs burn as I struggle to hold my breath, but reflex takes over and I suck in a deep breath, my lungs filling with the icy water. I scream, but it comes out a gurgle.

“
Julia!”

My eyes fly open. Reece kneels on the bed, leaning over me. The light from the hall makes long shadows across his face.

I’m crying, near hysterical. “I was drowning.”

“
It was just a dream.”

Dream or not, I’m terrified. My real life is even more horrifying than my dreams.

He pulls me up and wraps me in a hug. “It’s okay.”

“
I don’t think I can sleep any more.” I hiccup.

He brushes a strand of my tear-dampened hair from my cheek. “I’ll lay down with you. I promise I won’t do anything. Just lay here.”

I hate myself for being weak and scared. I wish I was braver, but the need to be with someone is strangling. I nod.

Laying on my side, I face the wall and Reece curls up behind me. He keeps a small distance between us, but the heat of his body warms my back. His arm drapes over my waist, slowly resting its weight as if he’s testing my reaction. I close my eyes, hating myself for my neediness, yet his closeness makes me feel better.

But so did Evan’s.

Now I’m even more confused.
How did I get into this situation?

“
Reece?”

“
Hmm?”

“
Do you think this plan will work? That I’ll go home?”

His slow steady breath fills the silence. “I don’t know,” he finally says.

I clasp his hand in mine. “Thanks for being honest.”

He squeezes in response.

He falls asleep first. The rhythmic sound of his breathing soothes my frayed nerves. I lay still, trying not to disturb him, as my mind tumbles over how everything in my life can feel so wrong yet so right at the same time.

Chapter Twenty-Two

At first, the pounding is part of my dream. I’m trapped in the trunk of Reece’s car and I’m banging to get out.

I rouse awake as Reece jumps up off the bed.

“
Shit.”

My eyes fly open. It’s still dark, which means someone banging on Reece’s front door can’t be a good sign.

He’s already digging in his closet, throwing out the clothes he piled up earlier.

My heart races so fast I must be having a heart attack. “Who is it?”

“
I don’t know.” His voice is muffled as he moves a metal trunk. “But you’re not hanging around to find out. Come here.” He grabs my arm and pulls me into the closet. His face is taut. “Hide in here and don’t come out. No matter what I say or what anyone else says. You only come out if I open this door or if I leave and it’s been an hour or longer. Got it?”

“
Yes.”

He shoves me down, pushing me through a tiny square at the bottom of the wall.

Garbled voices and banging drifts from the living room.

“
Coming!” He shouts, replacing the panel. The trunk scrapes across the floor and bangs into the wall.

I crouch in the small opening. When Reece said it would hide a couple of people, he must have meant dwarfs. Bile rises in my throat as I try to slow my breathing.

“
Reece Collins?” A man’s deep voice carries through the walls.

Voices mingle, but I can’t make out the words.

“
What took you so long to answer the door?” The man’s voice booms.

“
I was asleep.” Reece slurs his words. “It’s four o’clock in the morning. What do you think I’m doing at four in the morning?”

The walls in this house must be paper thin for me to hear their conversation. I’m terrified I’ll make a noise and give myself away.

“
Are you alone?”

“
My dad’s at work. He’s a doctor at the hospital.”

“
I asked if you’re alone.”

“
I told you my dad’s at work. My mom took off a few months ago. Yeah, I’m alone.” Reece sounds annoyed.

“
So you don’t mind if we check your house?”

“
Like I have a say in the matter?” Reece asks.

“
Don’t get smart with me, boy. Perhaps your father needs a fine for not teaching you proper respect.”

“
Check the house. Knock yourself out.”

Footsteps tromp through the house, moving closer. My heart crashes into my chest and my legs shake. I sit on the floor and wrap my arms around my bent knees.

Doors bang and the thud of things being thrown around makes the walls shake. If they discover me here, I’m as good as dead. I start feeling around the dark cubby hole for a way out.

“
What are you looking for?” Reece asks. He sounds like he’s in his room.

“
Julia Phillips.”

“
You’re looking in the wrong place. Julia Phillips is dead.”

“
So you deny seeing her within the last few days.”

“
I told you. She’s dead. Look it up on your handheld.”

“
Then you’ll agree to a lie detector test?” The man asks. He sounds amused.

Reece hesitates. I bite my lip so hard I taste blood. “Again, it’s not like I have a choice,” Reece says. “Sure. Why not?” He adds with a flippant attitude.

I expect them to haul Reece down to police headquarters, but the man tells Reece to sit on his bed.

I search frantically now. All I feel is wall and floor until I reach higher. My hand comes in contact with something long, metallic and plastic. My fingertips skim the object and my chest seizes. It’s the handle to a gun.

“
Stick out your hand.”

I slowly move my fingers sideways and find another gun. My heart tries to leap out of my throat.

“
Reece Collins, have you seen Julia Phillips within the last twenty-four hours?”

“
No. I don’t see ghosts.” I hear a thud and he grunts.

The man’s voice lowers in a menacing tone. “This is my last warning, boy. You’re too much like your mother for your own good.”

I freeze at the mention of Reece’s mom.

“
Do you know the whereabouts of Julia Phillips right now?” The man’s voice sounds familiar.

“Yes.”

Reece is going to give me away
. Sweat beads on my neck and forehead as my hand closes around the gun handle. It’s attached somewhere over my head and I have no idea how to get it down. I don’t even know if it’s loaded.

“
She’s buried in the graveyard out on the edge of town.”

I lay my cheek against the wall and my hand relaxes.

There’s a long silence before a woman says, “He’s telling the truth.”

The man growls. “You have something to do with this, I’m sure of it. Your mother liked to stir up trouble, and the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” His voice lowers. “When I find out your role in this, you’ll wish you never got involved. But…” He trails off and his words soften. “If you were to cooperate now, we’d show you leniency and trust me, leniency is something you want from me. Now, is there something you want to tell us?”

There’s a pause. “Yeah,” Reece says. “I really appreciate your loyal service to the United Regions. You’re a true patriot and a testimony to us all.”

The sound of a slap fills the silence a moment before Reece groans. My stomach clenches. Why is he antagonizing him?

“
General?” the woman asks.

“
He’s being a jackass,” he snarls. “I’m watching you, boy. I’m gonna love busting you.”

“
Thanks for the notice.” Reece grunts again.

“
Let’s clear out,” the voice booms.

Footsteps march through the house and the front door slams shut. Several minutes later, the panel slides off and a hand appears. “It’s safe.”

I grab his hand and climb out, scared of what I’ll find.

The room is lit by a soft overhead light. Reece’s belongings are scattered everywhere, but it’s his bruised and swollen face that makes me nauseated.

“
Oh, Reece. I’m sorry.”

“
It’s not your fault.” His words are slurred from his busted lip. He reaches his fingertips up to touch it.

I find a washrag in the bathroom and bring it back to the room. He winces as I dab his lip.

“
Why did you aggravate him? They could have really hurt you.”

He glares at the wall. “To get information. And it worked.”

His mom
.

“
I suspected the general had something to do with her disappearance. Now I know he did.”

“
You don’t know that. He only said you were like her.”

He glances up, hate twisting his mouth. “Why would a five-star general know anything about a researcher in a science facility?”

I have no answer to that. I pat his face with the rag. The purple bruises continue to spread and guilt crushes my chest. “I’m sorry.”

His entire body tenses. “I’m not.”

“
You need to put ice on this. Is there some in the kitchen?”

His head jerks in a nod.

I fill a bag with ice and go back to his room. He’s still sitting on the edge of the mattress, his hands fisted on his thighs.

I gently push his shoulders down to the bed, surprised when he complies, then rest the bag on the left side of his face, the one with the most damage.

He looks up at me, his eyes softer. “I’m sorry. I should’ve been more careful. I put you at risk because I couldn’t control my temper.”

“
If he had information about your mother, it was worth it. How did you pass the lie detector test?”

“
When they asked about Julia Phillips, I thought about the other one. So I told the truth.”

I give him a wry smile. “Clever.”

“
Evan isn’t the only smart one,” he says bitterly.

I wonder how long he’s lived in Evan’s shadow. “I know. Trust me, I know.”

His eyes close. His chest rises and falls as he crashes after his adrenaline rush.

They’re watching him now. The general expects Reece to make a move. He probably expects him to show up on the road. To go out there now is to walk into a death trap. “Tell me the truth. Do you have a backup plan?”

“
No.”

The blood whooshes in my ears as it rushes from of my head. I lean back on the bed.

“We’ll figure out something.” He rubs his forehead. “I knew they’d watch me, but I didn’t expect this. They must be desperate.”

“
So what do we do?”

“
I don’t know. I need to think.”

We lay still, Reece with his head on the pillow, me across the bottom of the bed. The room is silent except for our breathing. Reece’s is more controlled, mine erratic.

“
Why do you have guns in your hole in the closet?”

I don’t think he’s going to answer. Maybe he’s asleep, but how can he be after what we just went through? He takes a deep breath. “They’re my mom’s. She told me about them, and the space, shortly before she disappeared. My dad doesn’t know.”

“
But—”

“
My mom is irrelevant. We need to figure out what to do with you.” He sits up in frustration.

“
Does Evan know?”

“
No.” His tone is harsh.

“
But—”

He turns to me, rage in his eyes. “I can’t worry about my mom right now. I’m stuck dealing with your situation.”

I push off the bed and stand, hands on my hips. “I don’t need you, Reece. Sorry to inconvenience you.” I march into the living room, knowing just how stupid my statement is. I need him, but he owes me nothing so it sticks in my craw. I’m endangering him just by being here. I have to do this on my own.

He’s on my heels. “Julia, wait.”

I spin to face him, my chest heaving. “I need a pair of shoes. And a coat. I can’t pay you for them, so I’m sorry.” He grabs my arm and I shake it off. “Maybe I can hide in the woods. I’ll walk to the spot in the road. If you’ll just tell how to get there and tell Evan where I went—”

Reece pulls me into an embrace, one hand stroking my hair. “I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry.”

I’m rigid, my anger still billowing, more furious with me than him for blindly following Evan here. My own stupidity put us all at risk. “I need to go. I can’t put you in danger anymore.” I try to pull away, but he holds me firmly to his chest.

“
I know you’re scared and mad. You’d be stupid to not be, but you can’t run off. It’ll only make things worse.” He leans back to look into my face, then takes a deep breath and squares his shoulders. “I swear to you, if things go bad, I’ll get you out. I won’t let anything happen to you.” The thrust of his chin and the intensity in his eyes prove he means it.

Why he would do this is a mystery. The answer partially appears when I remember his words yesterday morning.
We both blamed ourselves
. “What did you do that produces enough guilt to risk your life for someone you hardly know?”

The shock and pain on his face almost makes me regret asking, but I’m trusting him with my life. I deserve an answer.

He swallows, tears filling his eyes. “I made her choose, him or me.”

“
So? That doesn’t surprise me. I expected it. You both loved her. She had to choose.”

He drops his arms from my back and runs his shaky hand through his hair. “I didn’t expect her to pick me, but when I asked her to deny she loved me, she refused. I was furious and I called her a coward.” He smashes the palm of his hand into his forehead as though he can erase the memory. “She was upset, and begged me to understand, but I was too pissed and I drove off.” He releases an agonized strangled sound. “And she followed me.”

And then she crashed.

“
I killed her.”

I grab his arms and turn him to face me. “No, you didn’t. It was an accident.”

“
If it wasn’t for me she’d be alive. And Evan wouldn’t have chased after you in your world. He wouldn’t have brought you to ours. Because of me, people want to kill you.” He releases a trembling breath. “I keep trying to make things better, but I only make them worse.”

I hug him, resting my chin on his shoulder, unsure what to say.

“
I’m sorry, Julia. I’m so sorry.”

We cling to each other and his hand slowly slides up my back toward the nape of my neck, sending shivers in its wake. “You’re not her,” he whispers. “You’re different. I loved her, but she wasn’t as brave as you are. She never would have threatened to hike to the road on her own.”

I wonder how much of nature versus nurture is true. Six months ago, I’m not sure I would have suggested walking on my own either.

The warmth of his body washes over mine and his breath tickles my ear. The hairs on my arms stand on end. An overwhelming need fills me, something I don’t understand.

“
I have to work on a backup plan.” His voice is husky. His fingertips still press into my neck. His chest rises and falls against mine and my breath catches in my throat.

I’m standing on the threshold of a choice, a choice I have no right to make. Fighting for control, I take a step back and break contact. “Uh, yeah. I need to…” I need to get a grip. Now is not the time for this.

He rubs his cheek then winces because of the bruises. “Do you want to go back to bed?”

Blood rushes to my face.

He closes his eyes and shakes his head. “I didn’t… I’m not…” He clears his throat. “I’m going to check on some ideas. If you want to go back to sleep, I’ll work out here.”

I turn away to look into the kitchen. Pink streaks fill the horizon. Not knowing what today holds rattles my fragile mental balance. “No, I couldn’t go back to sleep even if I wanted to.”

He’s behind me, his hand on my shoulder. “Julia.”

My skin burns where his fingers touch. I fight to control my breathing.

“
It’s going to be okay.”

I nod. No matter the outcome, I don’t see how my life will ever be
okay
.

He moves away and I’m cold without him next to me.