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Chapter Twenty-Four

“
Julia?” Her eyes are wide as she backs toward the open doorway. “You’re dead.”

I hold up my hands, palms forward. “Wait.” Joy pits against the realization that I can’t let her get away.

“
Did you come back to haunt me?” Her lips tremble and she’s still taking small steps backward.

“
No, Monica. I’m not a ghost, and even if I were I wouldn’t haunt you.” I’m emphatic, my pulse pounding in my ears. I can’t let her leave, yet I’m worried I’ll scare her out the door.

She stops.

I nearly breathe a sigh of relief.

“
But.. how?”

My mouth hangs open as I struggle with what to tell her. I can’t tell her the truth. “Cryogenics,” I blurt out.

Confusion spreads across her wary face.

“
Dr. Whittaker brought me back to life with cryogenics.” I really hope the Monica in this world is as uninterested in science as my Monica was. “He couldn’t stand to see Evan so upset so he brought me back to life.”

She tilts her head and narrows her eyes. “What are you doing at Reece’s house?”

Oh, crap
.

“
Evan asked me to watch her.” Reece says behind me.

I close my eyes in relief.

“
I don’t understand,” Monica says.

Reece walks past me. He’s dressed in jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt, his wet hair dripping on his shirt. “Come inside and I’ll explain it to you.” He reaches his hands toward her and she glides to him. His arms wrap around her back, pulling her close, and he plants a kiss on her lips.

My jaw drops in shock. I avert my eyes, embarrassed and more than slightly jealous. I had no idea Monica and Reece were together here, although after finding Monica’s letter, it shouldn’t be a total surprise. Part of me protests that he kissed me yesterday, so how can he be kissing
her?
The fact I kissed both Evan and Reece stares me in the face like a neon sign. Why shouldn’t Reece be an equal opportunity kisser?

I shake my head. There are bigger things to worry about than kissing.

I shoot a dagger of irritation into Reece’s back. He lifts his head as his hand reaches behind Monica and shuts the door. He turns to me as his mouth lifts into the hint of a cocky grin.

I look away with a scowl. What do I care if he kisses Monica or anyone else for that matter?

Reece takes Monica’s arm and leads her to the sofa, sitting next to her. I walk around and sit on the opposite end. Monica and I stare at each other, both cautious.

“
I don’t understand,” she says, wide-eyed. She turns to Reece than back to me. “Why didn’t you or Evan say anything? Does this have anything to do with Evan’s illness the last two weeks?”

My mind scrambles for a response.

“
Yes,” Reece says. “Evan was helping his dad.” He drapes his arm over her shoulder, his hand curling around her arm. He pulls her body into his. “We can’t say much about the procedure, in fact, I don’t know much about it. I only know they did it,
but
,” he pauses for emphasis, “this is top secret. No one can know yet.”

“
Why?”

Good question.

“
You know the Committee.” He shrugs. “They like to make a production out of everything. It’s part of the big ceremony today.”

“
Then why couldn’t you come to the ceremony with me?” She casts a leery glance my direction. “Why isn’t she with Evan?”

It’s really pissing me off how everyone keeps talking about me when I’m right in front of them.

“
Because Evan has to be there with his dad. I’m supposed to bring Julia later.”

“
Oh.”

I can’t believe she’s buying this. If his story was true, wouldn’t I be with some officials?

She looks at me again, nervous. Her blue eyes are open wide. “So you were dead? And they brought you back?”

Oh dear. “Yeah. I guess so. I just woke up and they told me I’d been dead.” It sounds way more lame falling out of my mouth than it did in my head.

“
What…um, what do you remember?” She twists her blonde hair in her fingers, an unfamiliar gesture. It’s a little darker blonde than my Monica’s, but then everyone’s hair seems darker here.

“
She hardly has any memories of her life before,” Reece says. “It’s an effect of the cryogenics. They hope her memories will come back.”

Monica relaxes but twists her mouth in confusion. “This is really weird. You were… dead.”

If I hadn’t spent the last few days with the doppelgangers of Reece and Evan I would probably be more freaked out sitting with Monica. I know it isn’t really her, but it’s still strange. Plus, she thinks I was literally dead and brought back to life. That has to be creepy.

I reach my hand across the sofa to her and she hesitates before taking it. I give her a smile and pretend it’s my Monica. “I’ve missed you.”

A mixture of emotions swim through her tear-filled eyes. “I’ve missed you, too.”

Our fingers squeeze and she instantly releases it as though I’ve burned her skin. Something is off.

Reece catches my eye and glances back to his room.

I give him a half smile to let him know I’m okay. Monica’s gaze shifts between the two of us and her face hardens.

“
I’ve got to finish getting ready,” Reece says. “Why don’t you girls catch up until I’m done.”

“
Sure,” Monica says as he stands. “So…” she says, fidgeting in her seat until Reece shuts the door to his room. “I guess if you don’t remember things, there’s not much to catch up on.” She gives a half-shrug, but her eyes dart around the room.

Wow, Monica’s kind of a bitch
. I know I’ve caught her off guard, but still… “Why don’t you tell me some memories of us growing up. Maybe it will help me remember.” It won’t, but I’m curious.

She tells me several stories about Evan and Reece. “Reece is always stirring up some kind of trouble, but Evan smoothes it over. One time when they were in grade school, Reece hacked into the teacher’s computer and when the lesson came up on the screen it read
Mr. Benton eats boogers
. Mr. Benton and the principal were about to expel him, but Evan convinced them it was part of a research project his dad hired Reece to do. It was completely ridiculous, but they bought it and Reece got off.”

“
What about us?” I ask.

“
What about us?”

“
Were we good friends? Were we close?”

Monica hesitates.

Reece walks into the room and leans his arms on the back of the sofa. “You two were inseparable. Evan and I used to call you Siamese twins.”

I remember the letter Monica wrote Reece, telling him how much she missed me. I have to trust the letter.

Monica reaches up and grabs his hand, keeping her eyes on me. They seem guarded. “It’s so weird how you don’t remember anything.” She twists her hair again. “How about I’ll tell you some stories about us?”

My eyes fill with tears as I give her a smile. This isn’t going how I daydreamed. We’re supposed to hug and cry and tell each other how miserable we’ve been. Hasn’t Monica been miserable without me? “Yeah, I’d like that.”

Reece kisses the top of her head and walks back to his room.

“
Where should I begin? How about the time we had a project due in science class about farm animals and you became obsessed with horses.” She laughs.

I smile. “Did I ride horses?”

She freezes. Her nose scrunches up and she turns her head sideways as she scrutinizes me. “How would you ride a horse? All the horses died almost fifty years ago.”

My face flames. “Uh…”

She continues to study me, then shakes off her serious look. “That freezing process must have scrambled your brain.” She scooches back in her seat. “The report was supposed to be five pages. We were only in second grade, but you were so fascinated with them you wrote ten pages. You were an overachiever, even then.” The way she says it makes it sound like I’m a freak.

A lump forms in the back of my throat. If she’s my best friend here, I wonder what my enemies are like.

“
That’s why you and Evan are so perfect for each other.”

Why isn’t she telling me how she missed late-night slumber parties and talking about boys and painting each other’s toenails? I remind myself it’s not her, it’s not my Monica, but it still stings.

I can only imagine what Evan went through in my world.

“
Aren’t you happy to see me?” I ask.

Her eyes widen. “What are you talking about? Of course, I’m happy to see you. I’ve been miserable without you.”

She said what I’ve been waiting to hear, yet it rings untrue.

Monica leans over and hugs me. “This is just so weird.” She scoots several inches away and touches my shoulder. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

Maybe she’s right. Maybe I’ve just caught her by such surprise and she’s unsure how to react.

She squeezes my hand. “Evan must be so happy you’re back. He could hardly live without you.”

“
That’s what I keep hearing.”

We sit in an awkward silence.

“
So you and Reece…” My voice trails off. “How long have you been…” What do they call it here? Dating? Going together? Make out partners? “… together?”

Her expression freezes and she lowers her voice. “After you… you know, died. We were both so upset and we needed each other. They say misery loves company and we were both pretty miserable. We’ve been together three months now. I don’t know how I would have survived without Reece.”

“
I’m so happy for you.” And I am. Someone deserves happiness.

Her hand covers mine. “Thanks, Jules. That means so much to me.”

But a flash of déjà vu fills my head. Monica’s angry face. A face I never saw my Monica make. I shake it away.

“
Are you okay?” she asks. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“
Yeah…”

Her face softens. “The last six months I wondered what would have happened if things had turned out differently. If you hadn’t crashed. Everyone would be happier, that’s for sure,” she says with a laugh. “But I wonder, if Reece and I would be together. You know? Was it your death that brought us together or would we have been together anyway?”

“
I don’t know. I know he cares about you.”

She looks hopeful. “Really? Did he say anything about me?”

Funny, I don’t remember him mentioning her at all. “Well, no… but I can tell.”

She studies me with hardened eyes. She tilts her head as if sizing me up then her face breaks into a bright smile. “Hey, I have a photo screen with lots of pictures in my car. Why don’t you come out and see it? They say a picture’s worth a thousand words.” She laughs, but it sounds brittle.

I look back to Reece’s closed door. “I don’t know. I’m not supposed to go outside. The sun and all.”

Her eyebrows furrow. “What the heck happened to you? Your brain must have got freezer burn. The sun….” She snorts. “I promise not to let the sun get you. And everyone is at the celebration already. No one’s going to see you if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“
I don’t know.” My stomach twists into a pretzel.

She stands and takes my hand. Her eyes plead with me and her lips form a pout. “Please?”

She’s transformed into my Monica and my heart aches with my loss. How can I pass up the opportunity to spend time with her one last time? “Okay. But I don’t have a coat…”

“
You don’t need a coat. We’re just going out for a minute.” With a playful tug, she pulls me up and out the front door.

I look over my shoulder. “Maybe we should tell Reece…”

“
Reece isn’t stupid. He’ll figure it out.”

We walk out the door onto a covered porch. The air nips through my shirt and I wrap my free arm around my chest. Monica leads me down the covered sidewalk, practically skipping to the driveway. She opens the passenger door of a compact car, similar to Reece’s. “Come on, get in. It’ll be like old times.”

I shake my head. “No, I shouldn’t go anywhere.”

She laughs, pushing me in. “Who said anything about going somewhere? Let’s just sit in the car like we did before we got out driver’s licenses. We used to spend hours pretending we were driving.”

I can’t come up with an argument so I slide into the seat, déjà vu washing over me as she comes around the other side. My breath comes in short pants. I can’t have a panic attack now.

She places both hands on the steering wheel, grinning ear to ear. “Goodness, this reminds me of some fun times.”

The only feelings I dredge up are ominous.

“
Do you want Reece?” Her light, happy tone is gone.

My head feels light. I’m sure I’ve heard her wrong.

“
I saw the way you looked at him.” Her voice is hard.

“
I, uh…I’m with Evan.”

“
Are you?”

I reach for the car door handle. “I don’t want to talk about this right now.” I pull on the handle and nothing happens.

“
You can’t go in yet.”

Something hovers in the back of my mind. A memory that’s not mine. It’s blurry and out of focus.

“
You can’t have them both.” Her voice is so low I barely hear it, but the words echo in my head.

You can’t have them both.

You can’t have them both
.

The world blacks out and I’m falling, spiraling in my mind until I land in a memory that isn’t mine.

I run out the crumbling doors of the old deserted church that hangs on the edge of the dead forest, the cemetery looming off to the side.

“
Reece!”

He turns around, standing at the top of the stairs.“Say it, Julia. Say the words
‘I don’t love you.’”
His eyes seethe with anger.

I lump forms in my throat. “I can’t.”

“
Then why are you still with him?”

I stand in silence, tears streaming down my face.