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He runs down the steps ahead of me, his longer legs gaining him distance.

“
Reece! Please! Let me explain.”

He climbs in his car. Gravel flies as he tears out of the parking lot.

I jerk my car door open and slide in. Monica sits in the passenger seat.

“
Did you tell him?” she asks, her face hard.

“
No, I couldn’t.” My voice breaks.

“
What do you mean you couldn’t?”

I back up the car without even looking, then shift into drive.

“
Where are you going?”

“
I have to find him.”

I turn the car away from town, the direction Reece has gone. Toward the abandoned playground and picnic shelter.

“
Leave him alone, Julia. Haven’t you hurt him enough?”

The road is blurry through my tears. “I can’t. I think I love him.”

“
No!” she shouts and grabs my arm. “You love Evan. You can’t have them both! If you’d just let him go then he’d …” her voice trails off.

“
He’d what?” I see his car ahead and I floor the acceleration pedal trying to catch up. I turn to look at her and I know
.

I know.

My stomach churns and I’m sure I’m going to throw up.

She loves him, too.

She sees the recognition in my eyes and doesn’t hold back. “You’re a selfish bitch!” she screams. “He’s loved you forever and you just string him along. Let him go, Julia!”

“
I can’t!” My vision blurs again. His car’s getting closer.

She grabs the steering wheel. “I’m not going to let you do this to him. Or me!”

I jerk the wheel from her grip. The car swerves on the uneven asphalt. I try to correct the turn but overcompensate, the tires squealing as we skid off the road.

Glass shatters as I feel the impact. Intense pain and pressure fill my chest and my vision darkens, but I struggle against it. “Monica?”

I turn my head to find her. She’s strapped in the seat next to me, blood trickles down into her eye from a gash on her forehead. “Oh God! Julia!” Her voice rises in panic and her hands tremble as they hover inches above my shoulder, not touching.

Tires shriek in the distance and the blackness returns, creeping in from my peripheral vision. I struggle to breathe, surprised by the sound of gurgling. I look down. The steering wheel has impaled my chest.

Monica cries harder.

“
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.” A voice outside the car window chants.

I turn my head to see Reece through shattered side window, pale and shaking.

“
Reece.”

His eyes are wide and his mouth hangs open in shock.

“
Reece, I think I’m dying.”

He smothers an anguished moan and violently shakes his head. “The hell you are. Don’t you leave me, Newbie.” He yanks on the door, but the crumpled side refuses to budge.

“
I don’t think I have a choice.” I cough and taste iron.

Monica screams hysterically. I stare into Reece’s eyes and lift my hand toward him but can’t find the strength to raise it high enough. He reaches in and grabs for it, lacing my fingers through his.

“
Don’t leave me,” I whisper.

“
I’m not going anywhere.” His grip on my hand tightens.

The corners of my lips lift into a smile.

Tears pour down his face. “I’m sorry.”

“
It’s okay.”

“
I don’t care who you pick. I don’t care if you don’t love me, just don’t leave me
. Please.”
He begs.

His voice grows fainter and I try to say I can’t stay but cough instead and begin to choke.

“
Julia!” he sobs uncontrollably
.

I love you,
I whisper. Or do I? Everything is dark and muffled. Fading.

And then I’m gone
.

Chapter Twenty-Five

When I come to my senses, the car is moving. Still disoriented, I reach for the dashboard to steady myself. “Monica?”

“
You remembered, didn’t you?”

My heart thumps wildly. “Where are we going?”

“
You got a dazed look and sat there saying things. Things you said that day. You remembered.”

“
Where are we going?
”

Her hands hold the steering wheel in a tight grip and she leans over it, her gaze intent. “They came to my house.”

Panic festers. “Who came to your house?”

“
They asked if I saw you and I thought they were loons. Of course, I hadn’t seen you! You were dead. But you’re not dead. And not only are you not dead, but you’re with my boyfriend.
My boyfriend!
” Her eyes shift from side to side.

“
Who came to your house?”

“
It was an accident.” She whips her head around to me. “You know it was an accident.”

“
It was an accident.” I repeat, swallowing bile.

“
But after you were gone, Reece…he finally looked at me.
Me
. And then I was so happy. I had everything I always wanted. But then you came back. Why did you come back? I saw the way he looked at you. Still. He loves you still. After everything, he loves you still.”

“
Who came to your house?
”

“
General Ghertner.”

Oh, God
. I reach for the door handle, jerking as hard as I can even though we’re traveling at least fifty miles an hour. The door doesn’t budge. “Where are we going, Monica?”

“
He came to my house this morning and told me that you might show up. That you were dangerous. That you looked like you, but it’s not really you. He said you’ll hurt everyone who loved you.” She looks at me with wild eyes. “Clearly, you’re dangerous. You’re trying to steal Reece.”

“
No, you’re wrong, Monica. I’m not stealing Reece. I’m with Evan, remember?”

Her eyes narrow. “Then why were you at his house?”

I fight my rising hysteria. “He’s taking me to the ceremony, remember? Let’s go back and talk to Reece. He’ll straighten out everything.”

She bites her lower lip and shakes her head. “He said you were tricky and you’d try to talk me out of it.”

My breath is shaky. “Talk you out of
what?
”

“
Turning you in.”

I jerk the door handle with renewed energy. When nothing budges, I start looking around the car for something to break the window.

“
Why did you come back?” she asks.

“
Evan brought me. See? I want Evan.” I lean over the backseat, looking for something hard. There’s nothing.

“
As long as you’re here, you’ll always be a threat. General Ghertner said you’ll infect us and make us do bad things. You’re like a disease.”

There’s a car approaching behind us.
Oh, please let it be Reece
. “No! I promise I’m not going to hurt anyone. And I’m not staying! I’m leaving and Evan is helping me go. So is Reece. That’s why I was at his house.” As soon as I say it, I realize my deadly mistake.

Her eyes narrow. “So Evan is part of all of this, too.”

“
I didn’t say that.”

In the distance, a huge crowd fills the street in an open square covered by a giant tarp. Monica slows down.

“
You did. You said he was helping you. You’ve infected him. I can’t let you infect Reece.” She gives me a quick glance before turning back to the road. Part of her mania slips away. “I loved you like a sister, but you were always so perfect. No one can live up to that. You were like this supernova that dazzled everyone you met. I stood in your shadows until you died.” She gives me another glance with tear filled eyes. “I missed you like crazy, but I could finally
breathe
. I could finally be me without being compared to you all the time. I lived with guilt over that for awhile, especially since the accident was my fault.” Her voice hardens. “But God help me, I don’t want you to come back.”

Her words send a jolt of pain. The fingers of rejection wrap around my heart and squeeze, making me gasp for breath. For six months, I would have given anything, even my own life, to bring her back. I would have sold my soul for just a few minutes with her yet she so flippantly tosses my life away. Her words mock my grief, suggesting the months of self-punishment mean nothing. That I’ve thrown my life away for no purpose. I remind myself it’s not me she’s talking about and she’s not my Monica, yet anger pulses, washing away my grief.

I won’t let her do this. “General Ghertner was right. I’m not her.”

She shakes her head. “This is so confusing. You look just like her. Even if you’re not, I have to turn you in. I can’t let you infect Reece. I can’t lose him.”

The car gains on us. I see Reece’s face in the windshield.

“
I need to find the general,” she mutters to herself. “He said to go directly to him and no one else.”

If I don’t stop her, she’ll not only turn me in but Evan and Reece, too.

“
Monica, let’s just stop and work this out.”

“
There’s nothing to work out!”

I have to do something to stop her. I reach for the steering wheel.

She shoves me away and I slam into the panel of the passenger door, my ears ringing.

“
You don’t think I expected that?” she screams. “I thought you’d try it sooner. He told me you were dangerous and would do anything to get away.”

“
You’re crazy!” I shout, lunging for the steering wheel again.

The car jerks forward as Reece hits us from behind.

Monica’s chin lifts with a gasp of distress. “I’m too late. You’ve infected Reece.”

He hits us again, from the side this time, and we run off the road. Our car bounces and slams into the corner of a house.

Not again.

I’m not wearing a seatbelt and I hurtle forward, my face hitting the dashboard. My head swims in a sea of darkness.

“
Julia!
” Reece screams outside.

I try to clear the fog.

“
Julia.” Reece’s breathless voice is next to me. The glass in the door has shattered. His hand moves up my arms and on my shoulders. “Are you hurt?”

I reach up to touch a gash on my cheek. “Just my head, I think.” I turn to check on Monica, but the driver’s door is open and she’s gone. “Monica.”

“
Shit!” Reece kicks the car door. “Where’s she going?

I jerk on the door handle again, pounding the panel when it doesn’t open. “The general.”

“
Son of a…” He opens the car door from the outside. “We have to stop her. And we have to get you out of the sun.” He’s wearing a jacket with the hood pulled over his head.

I get out and wait for the world to stop spinning. We sprint after her, but Reece is faster and I’m slowing him down. “Go!” I shout. “Stop her!”

“
No.” His eyes are hard. “We stay together.”

I look ahead to the crowd, Monica nowhere in sight. “Evan.”

He grabs my hand. “I know.”

We run through the crowd, the act itself drawing attention.

“
Do you know where to find him?” I ask, clinging to Reece’s hand, scared I’ll lose him.

“
Yeah.” He points to an enormous stage on a platform too high for us to climb.

I stop. My grip jerks him back. “It’s hopeless.”

“
The hell it is.” He pulls me and we run, skirting the outside of the mob.

A voice booms over a PA system. “…this joyous occasion when we celebrate the perseverance of the human race.”

We’re closer and I see him. Evan’s sitting next to his father, wearing a grim expression that matches every other face on the stage. I have no idea how we’ll reach him in the middle of the Committee, on display before thousands of people. My only consolation is that General Ghertner is one row and several chairs to the left of Evan.

“
We have to stop her, Reece. We have to find Monica and stop her before she gets to General Ghertner.”

Two guards patrolling the crowd work their way toward us. I lift my gaze to Reece. Alarm fills his eyes. He wraps an arm around me and turns our backs to them. I push out a breath as they pass.

We step several feet away from the edge of the crowd. Reece looks toward the stage. “No. We need to head to the portal. She can’t get to the general so we might have enough time.” He reaches up his hand and wipes blood from my cheek, then swipes it on his jeans.

I shake my head, anger rising. “You’ll have to drag me kicking and screaming. I’m not leaving him here, knowing they’ll do heaven knows what to him.”

“
That’s not what Evan wants.”

“
What Evan wants. What you want
.” I mimic. “What about asking what I want? I’m not leaving unless I know he’s safe.”

He groans. “Finding Monica is going to be like finding a needle in a haystack.”

“
Then we need to think like her.”

He gives me a blank stare.

“
Okay, she’s running in the crowd looking for the general, but he’s on the stage and he told her to only report to him. She was acting pretty wacko in the car, but surely she’s not going to rush the stage, right? So what’s she going to do? She ran into the crowd. Where’s she going to wait?”

“
She’ll probably find our friends. We usually meet as a group.”

“
So we find them and hope they don’t believe her crazy nonsense about me being alive. Only we can’t let them see me.”

“
I’m not leaving you.”

“
When we get close, I’ll hang back out of sight. You’ll convince them she’s had a mental breakdown and you need to take her home.”

His eyes brighten. “It just might work.”

I put my hand on my hip and purse my lips. “Maybe next time you guys will ask for my opinion.”

“Point taken.”

“
How much time do we have?” An undercurrent of dread hums in my head.

“
About thirty minutes until it’s over.”

We weave through the mob, searching out Reece and Evan’s friends and moving out of the way of the roaming patrols. Ten minutes later, we find them. Monica stands in the middle. She’s waving her hands in animated gestures.

We stop and I take a deep breath. “Where will you take her? Do we have time to take her home?”

“
No, I’ll hide her somewhere here.” He pauses. “I’ll shoot her with my tranquilizer gun.” His eyes narrow with determination, but his voice lacks the same conviction.

I remind myself even though she’s trying to turn me in, she’s still Reece’s girlfriend.

“
But first we have to find somewhere for you to hide.”

Their friends are close to the edge of the crowd. Off to the side are several trash dumpsters. “I’ll hide behind those. That way I can see you, but I’m out of sight.”

Reece is reluctant but finally agrees. I have to pry his hand from mine so we can split up.

“
I’ll wait until you come back for me. Then we’ll get Evan and go.”

He pulls me into a hug. “Don’t leave me,” he whispers in my ear, reminding me of another time and another place.

I choke back tears and shake my head. I can’t find the words to answer.

I push through the people and hide behind the dumpster. Reece wanders into his group of friends. A couple of guys slap his back and he approaches Monica, who’s wide-eyed and wary. Reece hugs her and talks to their friends, several of which shake their heads. She’s arguing with them, but they wear looks of pity. Reece puts his arm around Monica’s back and leads her away. She turns back, shouting as they pass the dumpsters, “She’s alive! I saw her!”

Another patrol approaches toward Reece and Monica. My breath catches in my throat. If they hear Monica, they’ll catch us all. My back tenses, prepared to run.

Reece glances in their direction and stops, turning Monica to face him. He whispers in her ear and smoothes her hair. She stops shouting and looks up at him, yearning in her eyes. He leans down and kisses her, pulling her tightly to his body. The guards pass, casting a glance in their direction. They move on, yet Reece still kisses her with an aching tenderness. Choking back tears, I realize he’s telling her goodbye. He lifts his head with a sad smile. He kisses her forehead as they disappear toward the back of the gathering. I turn my gaze toward the platform incapable of dealing with the mix of emotions Reece and Monica have stirred.

The president is talking. She speaks in a monotone about the accomplishments of the United Regions. Her voice lulls the people into dazed stares as they listen. I’m tired from lack of sleep, but my fear makes me alert. I shiver, reminded that I don’t have a coat.

“
Miranda, the view is better here.”

My head jerks up. That’s my father’s voice.

I peek my head around the corner. My parents and Anna work their way through the bodies to get closer to the stage.

“
John, isn’t this close enough?” my mom asks.

“
Just a little bit farther. It’s not every year the president attends our celebration.” He smiles at her and she shakes her head with a grin. It sounds exactly like my dad would have said before our lives got screwed up.

They look happy. How can they be happy when I’m not with them? No wait, I didn’t leave them. The other Julia did. Dad puts his arm around Anna’s shoulder and she looks up, her eyes shining. Maybe this is what my family at home will look like if I leave. Maybe they’ll find more peace if I’m gone.

I chew on this thought, forcing myself to stay in my spot even though everything in me begs to go to them. It’s a ridiculous idea. I’ll freak them out if they see me.

“
Done.” Reece says in my ear and I jump, banging my shoulder into the dumpster. The container vibrates and echoes through the gathering. Thankfully, no one seems to notice.

“
I moved my car while I was at it. We need it later.”