Her Dom's Lesson (Dominic Powers Book 2) (14 page)

Dominic snatches the paper from Shadow’s hand but doesn’t take a seat.  I think he may be somewhat insulted at the suggestion that he would need to take this siting down.  For several long minutes, Dominic is eerily silent.  I’m not sure he’s breathing either.  Shadow and Tucker keep their eyes trained on Dominic, both unable to hide their concern in their normally indifferent expression. 

Dominic’s voice is low, controlled, and downright scary when he asks, “Where did this come from?”

Tucker meets Dominic’s stare and, with a calmness that betrays his facial expression, he drops a nuclear bomb.  “I paid a visit to Harrison’s house today.  This was in a file with your name on it.”

Without another word, Dominic’s confident, determined stride carries him up the stairs and into one of the spare bedrooms.  After several minutes, he returns to the kitchen and is holding a second paper, his gun shoulder holster, and his Glock .45.  He lays them on the table as he adjusts the holster and pulls it over his head before securing it in place. 

“Boss, let us handle this,” Tucker says soothingly, trying to reason with a very determined dominant man.  “It’s best that you stay out of it for now.”

No one seems to remember that I’m here.  My hand found the countertop and I’m gripping it so tightly I’m sure there will be finger indentions in it.  Curiosity is killing me.  I want to ask what’s on the paper, but I don’t want to at the same time.  Looking at it, I instinctively know what it is but not what it says.  The only thing I know for sure is that one paper is about to change my life.

“Tucker, if you think I’m not going to kill that son of a bitch, you’re fucking crazy,” Dom growls. 

“What is it?” I finally manage to speak, my voice meek and unsure, conveying exactly how I feel right now.  Three heads whirl in my direction but my eyes are only trained on one of them.  Dominic looks slightly confused for a second, as if he’s questioning why I’m here, then his eyes change with realization.

“Sophia,” he says softly, his voice a stark contrast from the tone he just used with Tucker.  He’s searching for the words to say.  He doesn’t know how to tell me without hurting me.  His eyes stray to my stomach and my hand quickly draws up to protect our baby.  He drops his eyes to the floor just in front of me and I feel my heart break because he won’t look at me–he can’t look at me.

“What is it?” I ask more forcefully, drawing my shoulders up to stand tall.  I’m no one’s doormat.  I willingly submit to Dominic because he’s earned my trust, he takes care of me, and he shows me he loves me.  After the events of the last several minutes, I’m not feeling real submissive and it doesn’t appear that I’m his first priority.

Dominic takes a step toward me and I take a step backward while slowly shaking my head back and forth.  I will not be placated with
“trust me”
or
“everything’s okay”
this time.  Dominic’s head drops to the paper still held in his hand.  He takes a deep breath and fully exhales it, clearly still torn on what to say.  In my peripheral, I can see Shadow and Tucker looking at me with a mixture of compassion and pity.

“It’s the second page of Carol Ann’s letter to me.  The page that has been missing,” Dominic replies solemnly.

My heart ceases to pump in my chest.

Dominic

Sir,

I can’t believe we have been together for a whole year.  So much has happened in our short time together.  I often feel that I’ve brought more sadness than happiness to your life.  You have brought me nothing but happiness and I want you to always remember that.  No matter what storms have hit, you have been my steadfast rock in the turbulent seas.

Never doubt the good you’ve done for me.  Never doubt my appreciation for you.  And never doubt my love for you. I’m paralyzed at the thought of losing you and I know I could never live without you.  Through all of my problems, it’s been your love that has pulled me through.  I love you, My Sir, and there’s nothing about our life together that I regret.  I’m sorry for the trouble I’ve caused for you.

I memorized those words and can recite them backwards in my sleep.  The rest of the letter, the page that Tucker just handed me, is now seared into my memory.  The conclusion of Carol Ann’s thoughts on the worst fucking day of my life will haunt my dreams, interrupt my sleep, and forever be cursed by the
‘what-if’s’
. 

What if I had just stayed home that day?

What if I had made it home earlier?

What if….

I’m frozen in time as I read her words.  Picturing her in my mind, I can see her face as she writes each line.  She’s sitting at the desk, her left arm at a ninety-degree angle as her hand supports her head.  The right side of her lip is between her teeth as she concentrates on her wording.  She lives in these words and I can feel her emotions bubbling up and spilling over onto the page. 

Through all of our troubles and trials, one thing has remained constant:  our love.  It has never waxed or waned.  Not when my parents objected to us not being married before living together.  Not when my brother tried to shame us for our choices.  Not even when my fear of leaving the house put a damper on socializing or traveling.

I made a new resolution today and, with you, I will keep it tomorrow.  Enough of my life has been lived in fear and shame.  No more.  You’ve asked me to go with you on business trips before but I wasn’t able to go. I want to go with you on your next trip.  I want to spend every minute with you that I possibly can.  Tomorrow, I want you to take me shopping for new clothes.

Oh, and some of them will have to be maternity clothes.
 


With all the love in my heart –

Carol Ann

(P.S.  I didn’t really drink the champagne.)

Carol Ann was ripped from my arms, my life, and my heart way too early.  Now, reading these words, I can’t help but think about all the ways my life has been forever changed in the blink of an eye.  I mourned her death, I blamed myself, I questioned my Dom abilities–but I was robbed of the time to mourn my unborn child. 

My paternal rights were denied in every imaginable way.  I would never see that baby born, teach it the things only a father can, and watch it grow every single day.  My baby that Carol Ann carried has never been recognized, named, or even memorialized in death. 
Robbed
–of all the things that can never be and all the things that should have been.

The rage hits me like a freight train and my sole purpose has become killing
Harry Dick-man
.  A terrible and violent death is too good for him, but that’s what he’ll receive nonetheless.  Without a clue as to where he is hiding, I bolt up the stairs to retrieve my gun. 

When I reach the top of the landing, I have a sudden need to retrieve the first page of the letter from Carol Ann.  It was one of the things I saved from the house fire–one of the few personal items that survived.  After I double-check that the handwriting and the paper match, I unlock the secret safe and grab my Glock .45 and my shoulder holster.

He is dead.  He just doesn’t know it yet and he won’t know I’m there until I want him to know. 

Bounding back down the stairs with my possessions in hand, I lay them down on the table, ready to double check the clip before I head out to find him.  I’ve zoned everything else out in my red haze of fury.  I’m barely cognizant of Tucker trying to talk me out of what he knows I’m planning.  After leveling him with my
don’t-fuck-with-me
stare and response, I continue with my plan. 

Until I hear a small voice calling from behind me.

Sophia.

The shock of that page completely floored me and I had thought of nothing else until she spoke.  Her voice pulled me back from the deep pits of the revenge that I was plotting.  Looking at her now, the shame fills me at how quickly I changed from the man who just brought her home from the doctor’s office to the man who forgot everyone and everything else in his life.

Doctor’s office
.

My eyes drop to her midsection and I think about the baby that Sophia now carries. 
My baby, my blood, my life
.  My need for vengeance is completed deflated now and all I want to do is hold Sophia in my arms.  An unconscious signal sent from my brain makes my feet move toward Sophia, the exact direction my heart naturally gravitates to anyway.  But she moves backward, away from me, and shakes her head
‘no.’

She knows and I’ve hurt her terribly, but she stands proud and demands to know what I’m still gripping in my hand.  The doctor has just said she’s lost too much weight.  We had to pick up prescription medication to help her even eat to keep herself and the baby nourished.  The last thing I want to do is add to her stress by telling her anything about this.

But I can’t lie to her.

“It’s the second page of Carol Ann’s letter to me.  The page that has been missing,” I painfully admit.

The color drains from her face and she stands transfixed.  Raking my hand through my hair, I blow out a frustrated huff of breath.  Seeing my reaction to this letter cut her deeply, I know this without a doubt.  It will appear to her that my feelings for Carol Ann are ruling me and that my feelings for her are inferior.  Nothing could be farther from the truth.

“Sophia, are you feeling sick?  Do you need your medicine?”  I purposely keep my voice gentle.

Her chin begins to quiver but she’s fighting the tears with every ounce of pride she has in her.  Taking a deep, calming breath, her countenance changes and her features become hard.  I can see her shields going up to protect herself from further pain.  What she doesn’t understand is I’ll do whatever she needs me to just to keep that pain from her.

Her next question hits me in the chest like a twenty-pound sledgehammer. 

“Why would Harrison have that page of her letter if it was in your condo when she died?”

The breath has been knocked out of my lungs and my mind spins with various scenarios, but none of them are plausible.  In my shock of just now learning that Carol Ann was pregnant, and in my haste to exact revenge, my only consideration was that Harrison kept this from me for the past two years.  The interrogatives of the details didn’t even occur to me–that’s how far gone I was in my own world.

The distant sound of a chair scraping against the floor comes from behind me, but there’s no connection between it and my brain.  All the questions swirling in my head are so loud, it’s as if there are fifty people talking at once all around me.  Strong hands grip my shoulders, push me downward, and my legs obey.  My eyes are grounded to Sophia’s but I can’t even respond intelligently.

“Dominic, let me have that,” Tucker says as he pulls the letter from my hand. 

Snapping out of my stupor, I realize Sophia has asked the million-dollar question. 
Exactly how did Harrison get that page?
  Carol Ann hid it in our apartment.  Granted, it was in a spot she knew I would find it, but that was all part of our game. 

“I don’t know how he got it, Sophia.  But I need to find out.”

“What does it say?”  She narrows her eyes and dares me to lie to her.

“You can read it, I won’t keep it from you.  But I’d rather you didn’t for a few more weeks, until we’re well past the first trimester.”  I could be more forceful by outright saying she can’t read it, but that would cause her just as much doubt and anxiety.  “I’m asking you to please wait, Sophia.”

Her eyes fill with tears but she blinks them back, swallows the heart I know that is in her throat, and extends her hand toward me, palm up.  Her hand is shaking, without a doubt scared to read it, but equally scared to not read it.

“Guys, can you give us a minute?” I ask Shadow and Tucker as I stand and pick up the letter.  Their reply is to leave the house completely.  Knowing Tucker, they are just waiting on the front porch to give us a little privacy.

“Sophia, I need to explain my reaction to this letter before you get upset over it,” I begin.  “All I could think of was that this part of the letter has been in Harrison’s hands for the past two years.  All this time that I’ve questioned my worth as a Dom, questioned what I could’ve done for Carol Ann, and even that Harrison blamed me for her death.  He could’ve spared me all of that.”

“Let.  Me.  Read.  It,” she challenges.

Staring down at the letter for a minute, I know this will not go over well.  I’m torn between what’s right and what’s best–they’re not always the same thing.  What’s right is not keeping Sophia in the dark.  What’s best is that she regains her health to protect herself and the baby.  Before I change my mind, she pulls the letter through my fingers and begins to read it.

I know the very second she reaches the last line of the letter.  Her mouth drops open, her hand quickly covers it, and her eyes squint to mere slits as the pain stabs through her heart.  Her shoulders slump and the wounded look on her face kills me.  The paper floats to the floor as she uses both hands to cover her face and her body shakes from her sobs.

Placing my hands on her arms, I begin to pull her into my embrace but she extends her arm, pushing against my chest to keep me at bay.  “Sophia, baby, I know what you’re thinking.  This letter was a complete shock to me, though.  I had almost two years of pure
hell
before I found you.  He tried to fuck that up, too.  He
deserves
to pay.”

“It’s selfish of me, but I can’t say I’m not jealous of what you had with her.  I can’t even explain what I feel right now.  I’m ashamed that I’m jealous over someone you loved in the past, knowing she’s gone.  It comes down to this, really,” she takes a deep breath, “It just seems like she was better for you than I am.”

“I love
you
, Sophia, more than I’ve ever loved anyone.  It was a shock to find out she was pregnant when she died after all this time and it’s wrong that he knew all along.  A baby I never knew about was buried with her, but never mourned or even recognized.  These are the things I’m battling.  But, no matter what, I never want to make you feel like you aren’t the most important person in my life. 
You
are the only one who has ever called me Dom.”

She sniffles, wipes her face off with her hands, and gives me a rueful smile.  “These pregnancy hormones are really doing a number on me, Dom.  You may have to be more patient with me than ever,” she says on shaky breath.  “That was definitely a shock to me, too.  It hurts, I won’t lie, but I have to consider how
you
must feel.  Finding out this way and after all this time must be just terrible.

I open my arms and she willingly walks into them.  Those walls she put up are coming down and we are growing stronger together.  The realist in me can’t help but think,
what’s next?

Even though I know there are a million files I need to comb through to figure out what was left in my office, I put it off for another day.  Even though every ounce of me wants to leave, hunt Harrison to the far corners of the earth, and beat the ever-loving shit out of him, I wait it out.  Even though I want to comb through every detail of this letter until I figure out what the hell is going on, I push it aside.  For the rest of the night, my only priority is to ensure Sophia knows
she
is my priority in every way.

“I have an idea.  Let’s just spend some time together doing nothing.  We can watch TV or we can put a movie in to watch, make some popcorn, and lay around on the couch,” I offer.  She doesn’t look pleased.

“Dom,” she narrows her eyes at me, “a huge weight has just been dropped on your shoulders.  Another maddening piece of the puzzle has just been revealed and it makes even less sense than everything else we know.  Someone just broke into your office and left something–there’s no telling what that was!  But you just want to veg out on the couch and watch movies?”

“Your needs come first with me, Sophia.  I want nothing more than to hold you in my arms, shower you with love, and give you all my affection.  You’re the one I want to spend my life with,
My Angel
, and you’re the one who matters the most to me.”

“Everything won’t just go away, you know?”

“You’re right, it won’t.  It’ll still be there for us to deal with tomorrow.  Even if we stress over it all night, it’ll still be waiting for us tomorrow.  I think we’ve both had enough for today and we just need time to decompress.”

“A few minutes ago you were ready to go hunt him down and kill him.  What’s changed?”

“My priority.”

Sophia

Dominic and I are stretched out on the couch with a movie playing in the Blu-ray player.  The extra wide couch gives us both room to lie down–Dominic is on his side and I’m on my back next to him.  His hand is under my shirt and he has been gently stroking my stomach the last couple of hours.  He suddenly pushes himself up and hovers above me, with his arms framing my face and caging me beneath him. 

“You are so beautiful, Sophia,” he says tenderly before lowering his head to kiss me.  His full lips brush against mine before I feel his tongue against the crease in my lips.  Opening my mouth, I give him full access to plunder my mouth with his soft caress.  My Dom is the best kisser, melting me where I lie and making me instantly wet for him.

Pulling away from me, his sexy smirk tells me he knows that he’s already primed me for whatever he has in mind.  Sliding down my body, he skims his mouth across my shirt and I can feel his hot breath through the thin fabric.  My hands instinctively rise to run my fingers through his hair.  Using one hand to hold his weight, the other lifts my shirt and pushes it up to expose my stomach.

Settling between my legs, Dom splays his hands out across my belly and places loving kisses across my skin.  Just the feel of his lips on my skin causes chills to rush across my skin and the need to feel him inside me becomes overwhelming.  His warm tongue bathes my quickly heating skin and I moan in pleasure.  He unzips my pants and pulls them down off my hips.