Hell's Geek (11 page)

This. He pressed his mouth against hers just as the rumble hit underneath the ship, lifting it and giving it a shake. The severity of the shock forced him to keep Gaia close and spin a cocoon of power around them.

“Are you protecting me?” she said, breathless and not because of their dance.

“Never.”

“Never?”

He relented a little. “I would never shame myself by acting heroic and saving you. However, I can assure you that, if some brazen fool were to harm you, I would avenge you.”

“Good to know,” a strange voice announced from starboard.

Whirling around, Lucifer made note of the guy who’d managed to sneak up on them.

The man with the olive skin, thick dark beard—another guy with a beard, which made Lucifer wonder if it was time to either grow his own or ban them—regarded him with a haughty stare while wearing the most boring outfit.

A navy blue cable-knit sweater with jeans and deck shoes. Not a single ducky or shark, nothing. Some people had no style.

“Who are you? And where did you get that stupendous submarine?” The sleek and superbly long underwater craft bobbed in the waves alongside the
S.S. Sushimaker
. While the captain himself might bore someone to tears with his mundane style, his submarine was the opposite.

Painted a vivid purple, it sported a fierce eyeball on the side, actual metal jagged teeth on the front, and a periscope.

I always wanted a periscope.

“I built it myself,” the ill-dressed guy replied.

“Really? Wow, that makes the fact I’m just going to take it from you even more awesome.” Because a stolen submarine was even better than a custom one.

“Take?” The laughter boomed across the water and echoed. Cool trick. “I’d like to see you try.”

“Like? Oh, you won’t like it. Fear, yes. Possibly blubber and wet your pants, too. Nobody ever enjoys my takeovers. Something about unnecessary roughness.” Lucifer rolled his eyes. “Pussies.”

“Do you know who I am?”

“No. And your name doesn’t matter. Unless you owe me something. Then I’ll want it so that my accountant doesn’t give me heck for not giving him the proper paperwork. Such a stickler for details those types.”

“I am Captain Nemo.”

Lucifer blinked.

“Also known as Prince Drakkar.”

Lucifer yawned.

“Am I boring you?”

“Totally. And here I thought you were going to offer a challenge. But you’re just another one of those villains who likes to yap, yap, yap, instead of act.”

“Try more like a mastermind who’s spent the last minute or so distracting you and your crew while my missile gets into position.”

BOOM
!

The impact was felt in every plank, rivet, and atom of the ship.

“We’ve been hit!” Charon said two octaves higher than usual.

Which was worrisome, but not as worrisome as the fact that the impact sent Mother Nature, who was leaning against the rail studying this Nemo fellow, flying.

She soared in the air, green skirts fluttering, and she landed right in the arms of the other captain.

“Oh my,” she gasped. “I seem to be your prisoner. Whatever shall I do?”

Lucifer could have snickered at her feigned routine. Gaia was more than capable of taking down this upstart.

Except the upstart pulled something from his pocket, a giant needle, that he plunged into her arm. Gaia didn’t even manage to shoot more than a single flower from her fingertips before wilting in Nemo’s grasp.

The bastard had drugged her!

Totally unacceptable. “Unhand my fiancée,” he demanded. Not liking at all the fact this other fellow was putting his hands on his girl.

“You want her, then come and get her, if you dare.” With an evil chuckle that he must have gotten high grades on in villain university, the Nemo guy jumped into an open hatch, with Gaia still in his arms.

The hatch sealed shut as the sub began to sink.

“Do something,” Lucifer yelled at Charon when his finger snaps refused to affect the sub. Some kind of anti-magical barrier deflected all his attempts.

“I’m trying to get our bulkheads sealed so we don’t sink,” snapped his usually calm boat master.

The devil turned to Neptune. “Well, don’t just stand there. Jump in the water and do something sea god-ish.”

Neptune turned wide eyes his way. “Dude. That was Captain Nemo.”

“Never heard him.”

“How can you have never heard of him? He’s famous.”

But in need of a better publicist since the name didn’t ring any bells. “I’ve never seen him around before.”

“Probably because he’s not supposed to exist. Captain Nemo is a fictional character in a book.”

“Tell that to the guy who just brazenly stole my woman. If I didn’t hate him so much, I’d admire him for his balls.” Because only someone with a massive set would intentionally screw with the devil.

Kidnap my woman, will he?
Lucifer had many tortures for someone like that.

The waves closed over the purple submarine, severing his visual link to Gaia. The spot she’d taken over in his heart—and guarded with a vicious, possessive jealousy—felt empty. This Nemo character, and his damned machine, had cut the essence of her spirit from him.

Lucifer didn’t like it one bit. “Follow them,” he demanded as the sub sank from sight.

“This ship is meant to float on the waves, not under them,” Charon reminded.

“Excuses!” Usually he’d applaud the diverting of blame. However, this affected him directly. A scowl pulled Lucifer’s brows together. “I blame you for this, Charon! I told you we needed a submarine.”

“But you don’t like confined spaces,” his admiral reminded.

True. As a man of grandeur, only large spaces would do. “If we don’t have a submarine in our fleet, then how am I supposed to save Gaia?”

“You intend to play hero?” Neptune practically fell over in shock.

“An unfortunate turn of events.” Lucifer grimaced. “Sometimes a devil’s gotta do ugly things to reap the reward.”

“The reward being killing that nervy bastard, Nemo.”

“No, the reward will be debauching a grateful fiancée of mine when I save her sweet buttocks from the guy who will be feeding the troll guests at our engagement feast.”

“After a hard day’s work, be sure to celebrate your unlife. Half off all grog and whiskey at Barnacle Jim’s if you buy the Cajun-dusted petrified clams.” This message is sponsored by the Bartenders Association of Hell.

When Adexios regained consciousness, it was to find himself lying face first on sand. At least that was how it felt to his face. Gritty, kind of warm, with that certain smell only beaches had.

Opening his eyes, he could further add that it was indeed sand, the obsidian kind that gleamed in the sunlight.

It was a struggle, man against body, to turn his face to the side. Mission accomplished, he even managed an “Oof” of surprise.

Lying only a few feet from him was Valaska, staring right back.

Adexios would have loved to say something clever like,
How you doing?
However, it wasn’t just his general geekiness that stopped him but the fact the paralyzing agent had yet to leave his body. His tongue refused to move from the bottom of his mouth.

So he tried to talk with his eyes.

Are you okay?

She rolled her eyes.
Duh. I’m alive.

He blinked a few times.
Any idea of where we are?

She stared.
Does it matter?

His ass was getting uncomfortably warm in the warm rays from the sun.

Sun?

Hell didn’t have a sun. At least not a real one. With a great deal of effort, he flopped to his back and stared overhead.

Blue sky. Wispy clouds. Bright, blazing sun. White seagull swooping in low.

Splat
.

The hot liquid ran down his chest, and he managed a garbled, “Gonna roast you over a fire.”

A husky chuckle met his words as Valaska managed to reply in a rusty voice. “Sounds delicious.”

As the effects of the poison wore off, mobility returned. Adexios managed to sit up then struggle to his knees. Valaska recovered even more quickly, bouncing to her feet and putting her body through some exercises.

She lifted her arms high above her head, her naked breasts popping forward with delicious intensity.

Down she bent to touch her toes, and he leaned back on his haunches to see her tight ass projecting upwards.

Straightening, she caught him watching and smiled. A smile full of naughty wickedness.

Lifting her leg, she grasped it and raised it high, very high, very exposing.

Since she stood fairly close, he had a great view. He didn’t avert his gaze from the pink splendor of her sex, nor did he hide the evidence of the effect she had on him.

“I see your body parts are working again, as normal,” she said with a laugh before setting down the one leg and grabbing the other for a stretch.

“Is anyone from Hell ever truly normal?” he replied, his usual answer coined the first time he’d disappointed a girl in the bedroom with the fact that he didn’t sport mutant parts.

“Normality is a rarity in many cases. But speaking of normal, is it me, or is this place on the mortal side?”

Casting a peek around, Adexios squinted as he took better stock of their location before answering.

The black sandy beach extended into the distance before blurring out of sight. Bright blue waves lapped at the glistening dark sand while, at their back, a lush green jungle loomed, but not too deep because towering over it all was a mountain. So far, these things could technically appear in Hell. Most telling of all was the true sun in the sky emitting a bright glare. His quick strip to rush to Valaska’s aid meant virgin-white flesh getting roasted.

The blazing heat also dried the seagull goop on his chest. Ick. Striding down to the waves, he knelt in the warm water and splashed himself clean.

Valaska followed him. “Any ideas on what we should do now?”

“You’re asking me?” He paused in his bathing to peek at her. His eyes never made it past her shaven mound. Since she was asking for ideas, perhaps he should suggest fashioning some clothing from leaves or something so he wouldn’t have to fight this urge to pounce on her and ravish her.

“My skills lie more in the realm of killing or tracking things. What to do when stranded on an isle in the mortal realm? Not covered in the Amazon guide.”

“There’s a guide?” Then again, why was he so surprised? The Ferrymen had one, too. It also didn’t cover this scenario.

“We are not just a bunch of savage women who run amok killing things.” She smiled. “We are a bunch of savage women who run around with purpose killing things.”

The jest drew a chuckle from him. “Duly noted. As to what we should do? Good question. I wish I could bloody well see.” Or at least protect his exposed manparts from the deadly rays of the sun. “I don’t suppose it’s too much to hope my glasses or knapsack washed up on shore?” While he could see the world in blurry color, sharp focus would be better.

Plop
.

Something landed in the sand at his feet.

“My glasses!” he exclaimed. “Where did those come from?” He quickly jammed them on his nose, bringing the world into focus. He stood for a better view just as she shouted, “Duck!”

“Really? Ducks. I didn’t think they did tropical islands because—Oomph.” The knapsack hit him square in his recently cleaned chest. He staggered a bit but didn’t drop his bag, mostly because he was so damned happy to see it. With the supplies he had stashed within it, at least now they stood a chance.

And all because of a certain sea monster.

A long purple stalk with a familiar eyeball bobbed on the waves a few yards out.

Adexios waved. “Thank you!”

“I think that’s the monster that saved us after the kraken fight,” Valaska said.

“I told you being nice would pay off.”

“Pay off for you maybe.” Valaska glanced around. “Where’s my stuff?” She turned to glare at the eyeball, bobbing on the waves.

“I don’t suppose you saved her things too?” Adexios asked, giving the sea monster his prettiest eyes.

“Oh, please. That’s never going to w—”

Schwing
. The sword came arcing out of the water and spun at her. Without batting an eye, Valaska timed its movement just right and crowed, “My precious,” as soon as her hand curled around the pommel of the blade.

More wet articles followed. Valaska snatched each and every one out of the air, except for the thong. That Adexios reached out to grab.

He stuffed it in the pockets of the shorts he’d pulled from his bag and donned. At her arched brow in his direction, he grinned. “I’m keeping them for luck.”

“We’ll need luck to get off this island.”

“How do we know it’s an island?”

“Logical guess. But I would love to be proven wrong.”

Alas, he feared she was right. It took them only a few hours to do a half-circuit of the island and note the smooth black sand ringing it, the clear blue waves lapping at it, and the sun, a merciless burner of skin, in the sky.

They made it only partway around because the large mountain in the middle extended in a ridge, high and sheer enough to block their passage.

“Maybe we’ll have better luck on the other side?” she said as she gazed thoughtfully at the hump of black stone.

Adexios doubted it, which was why he flopped to the ground with a groan. “And I thought Hell was hot.”

“You do seem to be rather sensitive to natural daylight,” was her diplomatic reply.

“If this is your way of saying I look like I’m related to a fire demon, then thanks.”

“Stop complaining. We need to come up with a plan.”

“You mean like resting on this nice beach and hoping a boat comes along to rescue us?” A boat with air conditioning and those icy drinks with little umbrellas in them.

“Optimism is one of the things our boss hates,” she noted.

“Not if it’s false hope.”

She snorted. “Smart ass.”

“I know.”

“Given the beach route is a wash, maybe we should explore inland. At least then you’ll get some shade, and maybe we’ll find some food and water.”

Water might be nice, given the canteen he’d pulled from his pack was now dry.

Time for a refill. “I’ve got food, and I can get more…” His voice trailed off as consternation stole his words. He jammed his hand into the pocket holding the interdimensional rip to his mom’s fridge, only his fingers met canvas, not the cold glass shelf with Tupperware containers and plastic water bottles. “My fridge! It’s gone.”

“I wonder if the magic stopped working once we crossed into the mortal realm.”

Stupid mundane world with its rules on science. “What a total rip-off. I am going to talk to the complaints department when I get back.”

“There you go with that optimism again.” She grinned. “But in this case, I like it. Can I come along when you ream them out?”

Had she just suggested they continue their association past this mission? The idea pleased him an inordinate amount. Not that he said how happy it made him. His reply was a more manly, “Yeah, sure, if you want.”

What he wanted, too, was to find a nice shady spot, strip those clothes from her, and finish what they’d started. Funny how his attraction for her only intensified, even if she was covered in a sheen of perspiration and her hair frizzed from the tight braid she’d weaved. There was more to like about Valaska than just her exterior. He was finding himself rather liking her attitude as well. She was pretty damned awesome, and he’d have loved to show her just how much he liked her.

Unfortunately, she seemed intent on hacking at the foliage with her sword, lamenting the lack of dangerous wildlife, and totally staying dressed, no matter how much he tried to get her clothes to fall off with the power of thought.

Wait a second. Maybe he did have the power of mental suggestion because, one minute, she was cutting them a swathe through the jungle, and the next she was stripping!

Holy shit.
It worked. He was a mental force to be reckoned with.

Or she’d found a refreshing-looking pool of water.

In the midst of the wild greenery, a veritable oasis appeared, about thirty feet across and lined with dark sand. The water gleamed with crystal clarity, clear enough that they could see a colorful school of fish darting in the shallows.

Without hesitation, Valaska immersed her naked body into the liquid and let out a sinful sigh. She floated on her back, the tips of her breasts bobbing.

“Are you coming?”

Give me another minute and I might.
Except she didn’t mean the orgasmic come. Didn’t matter. He wanted some of what she was enjoying.

It didn’t take him long to shed his sweaty clothes, drop his glasses on the pile, and dive in after her.

The cool water took some of the sting from his skin and refreshed him. He surfaced and joined her in floating on his back.

“This feels so fucking good,” he said, his eyes closed, basking in the relaxing moment.

At least he meant to. Someone with slick skin sank him when she pounced and wrapped strong limbs around him.

He surfaced in her grip to find their faces only inches apart.

Valaska’s eyes shone with mirth. “Hello, Dex.”

“Hi,” was his cautious reply.

“So it occurs to me that we almost died in battle.”

“But didn’t.”

“Almost drowned, too.”

“But survived.”

“You’re right. We prevailed, which means we need to celebrate.”

“I’m pretty sure I don’t have any cake.”

She laughed. “We don’t need bakery treats to celebrate. I’ve got a much better idea in mind.”

A good thing he could touch bottom, as she locked her ankles around his waist and her arms around his neck. Then she kissed him.

She’s kissing me!

And not just embracing him with her lips, but her tongue, too. Whatever initial surprise he might have felt at her brazen sensual assault disappeared quickly at the touch of her tongue, teasing the seam of his lips.

He let her in, let her take control of the kiss. But only for now.

Adexios had things he wanted to do to this woman. Dirty things. And, in this, he would have his way.

His hands cupped the fullness of her ass, squeezing the firm cheeks. His erect cock was trapped between their bodies, the hot core of her sex pressing it and teasing it with what would come.

While he loved having her wrapped all around him, it wasn’t conducive for exploration. And he so wanted to explore.

The beauty of a jungle basin of water was the sandy shore and soft, fragrant plants lining it—none of them sporting teeth or thorns.

He carried her to the spot shaded by a large overhanging tree.

She laughed as he laid her gently down upon the warm sand. “Always so controlled, Dex.”

“Not really,” he replied before taking her mouth in a fierce kiss.

With Valaska, there was no holding back the passion. No calm or measured acts. He devoured her mouth, nipping her lips and sucking on her tongue.