Heaven and Hell (68 page)

“Travis is dead,” she returned shortly and I
sucked in breath.

She yanked her hands from mine, took a step
away and dragged the fingers of one through her thick hair.

Then her eyes locked on me.

“I know,” she told me. “I know how it is
with these men. But he feels it, I know he does. It started awhile
ago, months ago.
Months,
Kia. He made me laugh. He always
made me laugh but suddenly, the sadness was gone and he made me
laugh.
And I saw the way he would look at me. And I liked
it,
cara mia.
Not just noticing a man’s attention but
noticing the attention of a man who could make me laugh like
that.”

I’d heard that before in a way.

“Honey –” I began again only to be cut off
again.

“And he’s handsome.”

She was right about that. Hap was beyond
muscle bound but that didn’t mean he wasn’t very good-looking. He
was. Totally.

Luci wasn’t done.

“And he is who he is. You take him how he
is. He’s rough around the edges and that’s all he’ll ever be. He
knows who he is and he isn’t going to change for anybody. I like
that. And I like that, even being like that, he senses things about
me. The laughter and that, just
that
, when I noticed he
senses me, that was when he wasn’t just Hap anymore. He was
Hap.
And rough or not, his eyes would be gentle and his tone
would be gentle if he sensed I needed that. And it was beautiful.
This man, so coarse, who could also be so, unbelievably
gentle
.”

Yes, I’d noticed that too, Hap being gentle
with Luci.

And I’d also noticed its beauty.

“Sweetie,” I said carefully, “he may feel
things for you but you know these guys. They’re about honor and he
would be dishonoring Gordo’s memory if he took anything anywhere
with you. He won’t do it.” I got closer to her again and whispered,
“He’ll never do it and he’s probably struggling with what happened.
I hate to say this to you but it’s the truth. You need to back off
and let this be. It’ll only be hard on him, hard on you and you
might lose what he can give you if you –”

“That’s stupid,” she interrupted me to hiss.
“He has one life. I have one life. Why would you not explore
something that might mean happiness? There is no reason. I won’t
accept there is. And I do not believe, not for one second, that the
man I fell in love with and married who died way too young would
not encourage both his friend
and
me to find happiness even
if it meant with each other.”

Well, I had to admit, she had a point
there.

Her voice changed, got soft, pleading,
“Please, Kia, go and bring him to me.”

I bit my lip.

It was Luci who then caught my hand and when
she did she squeezed.

Then she whispered, “This is not a tryst.
This is not for fun. He’s my friend too and I love him. I would not
do this to him, myself or the memory of my husband if this didn’t
mean something to me.
”

I believed her. Looking at her, it was
impossible not to believe.

But it was more.

She was in love with George “Hap”
Cunningham.

“Oh honey,” I whispered back.

I saw bright fill her eyes and she
continued, “It isn’t the same. It wasn’t what I had with Travis. It
didn’t hit me like a bullet. It snuck up on me. But I go to bed
thinking about him and I wake up thinking about him. Now, for
months, I’ve been waiting breathlessly for the weekend to come, for
Hap
to come. And these last three weeks, not having even a
little of him, it
hurt
,
cara mia.
It was a new kind
of pain but I knew, feeling that pain, being separated from him,
not knowing what he’s thinking, worried about him, I know he means
something to me. I know it’s worth trying. And I know, as a woman
knows, the way he kissed me, touched me, that he goes to sleep and
wakes up thinking of me. So I must try. Life doesn’t give you
two
chances to feel that strongly about
two
men and I
cannot waste life, Kia,
I cannot.
” Her hand squeezed mine
and she finished, “You know this just the same as me.”

Boy, did I.

Shit.

Shit!

“I’ll go get him.”

Yep. That was me.

Shit!

She smiled a trembling smile. She was
relieved I agreed. But that tremble was something else. The
beautiful, ex-supermodel Luciana was worried a man would deny
her.

I was worried about the same thing.

Shit.

“Be right back,” I whispered.

“Okay,” she whispered back.

I gave her hand a squeeze.

Then I let her go, turned and walked up the
walkway.

I didn’t want to do this and when you didn’t
want to do something you had to do, you did it fast and got it out
of the way. So that was what I did.

And anyway, Luci was waiting.

I walked right to the deck, right to the
grill and therefore right to Hap.

But also right to my husband.

Eek!

“Can you come with me a sec?” I asked Hap,
looking in his eyes and ignoring my husband’s eyes on me.

“No,” Hap answered instantly.

He saw me leave with Luci.

“Hap –”

“Don’t go there, babe,” Hap said quietly. It
wasn’t mean. It was just quiet.

And, unfortunately, firm.

“What’s goin’ on?” Sam asked and I looked at
him.

“Nothin’,” Hap muttered. “I’m gonna go to
the beach and pass the ball with the boys.”

“No you’re not, Hap, you’re gonna come with
me,” I told him and his eyes came back to me.

“Kia, babe, I said no.”

“And I say you owe her this,” I returned
then got close. “I get you, honey, I get the war you’re waging
within but there’s a woman waiting for you, she cares about you,
you care about her and even just as friends, after what happened,
you owe her this.”

Hap glared at me.

Sam semi-repeated, “What the fuck is goin’
on?”

I ignored my husband and endured Hap’s
glare.

Then Hap muttered, “Fuck,” and stomped
around me toward the walkway.

I started to follow him.

“Kia, baby,” Sam called, I looked over my
shoulder and called back, “Explain in a minute, honey.”

Sam looked displeased.

I ignored that (kind of) and hurried after
Hap.

I caught up halfway down the walkway and I
knew I was right to agree to Luci’s demand when I saw her standing
in the drive wearing her heart right on her sleeve.

Oh God. I hoped this worked out right
however that right would be.

“Luc, babe, this is not –” Hap started
immediately when he stopped three feet from her but I put my hand
up and interrupted.

“Nope, no,” I stated then looked between a
stony-faced Hap and an unhappy, visibly scared Luci. “Ground
rules,” I declared and looked at Luci. “I love you.
He
loves
you.” I jerked a thumb at Hap. “Sam loves you. And Sam told me once
no matter how beautiful you are, Luci, and how
Luci
you are,
he would never go there. Never. Because of Gordo. And he meant it,
sweetie. It wasn’t an option and if that’s what Hap tells you now,
you need to deal with it, process it and accept it. For Hap. And
then you have to find it inside you to move on with him in your
life the way he used to be.”

The tears started shimmering in her eyes
again and when she opened her mouth to speak, I turned to Hap.

“And you,” I began. “You only have this life
and the woman who’s standing here right now goes to bed thinking of
you, she wakes up thinking of you, she thinks you’re handsome, a
good kisser, gentle and you make her laugh. Travis Gordon was a
good man and I know you loved him. But do not do something right
now that you’re going to regret for the rest of your life because
you’re intent on honoring the memory of a dead man. Or because you
might be worried about what your buddies might think. Regret is the
worst feeling you can feel and that would be compounded knowing the
decision you’re about to make will make someone you love feel the
same for the rest of hers.”

Hap stared at me, face still stony, jaw
still hard but his eyes were heated and I knew I got in there.

Just a little bit.

My work was done.

“All right,” I finished. “This conversation
is between the two of you. Have it. Make your decisions based on
that and that alone. Whatever happens next, nothing changes for
anyone else except you two.” I sucked in breath then ordered,
“Commence.”

Then, without looking at either of them, I
walked away.

I saw Sam standing at the top of the
walkway, arms crossed on his chest, feet planted, eyes on me, face
a little bit scary.

I got close to him and instantly tried to
push him to the deck.

“What the fuck?” he asked, staying planted,
solid, not budging an inch.

I gave up and told him, “Luci and Hap need
some privacy.”

Sam’s more than a little bit scary eyes
tipped down to me.

“Again, baby, what… the…
fuck?
”

“Sam –” I started.

“Talk,” he bit off.

“They’re in love,” I whispered and Sam
blinked.

Then he declared, “They are fuckin’
not.”

Oh man.

“Yes, honey, they are.”

“They are not.”

“Sam!” I snapped.

“Hap would not do that to Gordo,” Sam
announced.

“Sometimes, shit happens,” I said
gently.

“Hap… would not… do that… to Gordo,” Sam
stated definitively.

I sucked in breath.

Then I whispered, “Gordo’s not here,
honey.”

Sam scowled at me then his eyes cut down the
walk. I turned to stand by his side and started biting my lip.

Hap had his arms crossed on his chest, legs
planted just like Sam making it appear like Sam was right.

Luci was looking beautiful and gorgeously
beseeching, leaning into Hap, her fingers curled on his forearm
making me hope Luci could pull this off.

Hap shook his head.

Okay, shit, maybe Luci couldn’t pull this
off.

Luci leaned closer and said something.

Hap’s body went visibly still and he shook
his head again.

Crap.

Even from a distance, I saw a tear fall from
Luci’s eye as she said something else.

Oh God.

Hap shook his head again.

Oh God!

Luci stared at him. Then she nodded and
stepped away. Then my heart squeezed as she studied him a half a
second, turned on her foot and
ran away.

“Fuck,” Sam whispered.

I stopped breathing.

Hap didn’t move.

I forced myself to breathe.

Hap still didn’t move.

I stopped myself from finding something to
pick up and throw at him.

Hap dropped his head and looked at his
feet.

“Fuck,” Sam repeated, still whispering.

“Go after her,” I whispered to a Hap who
couldn’t hear me but I didn’t care. “Go, go, go, go,
go after
her,
” I kept whispering, ending by doing it fiercely.

Hap didn’t move.

Not for awhile.

Then he lifted his head and stared at where
Luci last was seen.

That was when my breath started coming
fast.

Then he started walking that way.

I pressed my lips together and locked my
body to stop myself from jumping up and down and shouting with
glee.

“Fuck,” Sam whispered again.

Hap disappeared around the house.

I turned to my husband and lifted my finger
to his face.

“Whatever comes of this, you’ll accept it,”
I ordered.

His hand shot up, his fingers wrapping
around my entire hand including the finger I was wagging in his
face and he pulled it down and pressed it to his chest.

He studied me. I glared at him.

Then his lips twitched and he muttered,
“Bossy.”

There it was. He was giving in. For me and
for his friends.

Thank you, God.

I grinned and leaned into him.

Then I made a decision so I leaned further
into him and wrapped my arm around his waist. He let my hand go so
he could wrap both his arms around me. My freed hand went up to
curl around his neck.

Then I said, “Right, so, drama which could
mean good or bad things to the Cooper Household. We won’t know
until that plays out.” I jerked my head back to indicate the
walkway. “So, now, you want something that could only mean good
things to the Cooper Household?”

Sam’s brows drew together.

“Baby, seriously? You’re askin’ that
shit?”

I grinned and decided, “I’ll take that as a
yes.”

“After bad drama, good drama or uncertain
drama, I’m all for learnin’ anything that means good things for the
Cooper Household,” he pointed out the obvious making it clear he
was irritated yet amused he was pointing out the obvious.

“Right then, I’m pregnant.”

Yes, that’s what I said and that’s how I
said it. I just blurted it out.

Sam’s body froze solid and he simply stared
at me.

I kept blurting.

“I know we haven’t been trying long,” and
this was true, we’d been trying for six weeks but “trying” in Sam
World meant he expended a lot of effort, not that I was
complaining, “but either you have strong swimmers or my womb is
exceptionally welcoming or both because the deed is done. I took
three pregnancy tests then the doctor confirmed it. And, I will
tell you now, if it’s not a boy, I’m gonna be pissed. I’m sure I’ll
be happy with a girl if that’s what she is when she gets here. But
right now, I want a boy you can teach how to play football and
Memphis and I can sit on the deck and watch you two toss the ball
around on the beach.”

Sam remained unmoving and staring at me.

I kept babbling.

“The one after this can be a girl,” I
allowed.

Sam continued to stand there, immobile and
staring at me.

“Hello, Sampson Cooper?” I called. “Your
wife, Kia Cooper is talking to you.”