Hard Core (7 page)

Chapter 14

-Ledger-

Orson State Penn, 12 months till release

Straight lines and
right angles. I managed to create an imaginary oval running track inside the exercise yard even though it was all straight lines and right angles. With the exception of the razor-edged curlicues surrounding the perimeter, the entire prison, buildings, outbuildings and exercise yard, was a puzzle of cement squares and rectangles. Bleak and harsh were two of the words that came to mind as I looked around the yard. But I preferred the hours outside over the hours inside. If it had been allowed, I’d have just stayed outside in the exercise yard twenty-four seven. Snow, blistering heat, no matter what the weather, I’d have preferred to stay outside. There was no ceiling on the outside. And I didn’t have to listen to the other prisoners with their bullshitting and bragging and forced badassery. Dozens of convicts competing day and night to prove who deserved the crown for king of the assholes.

My cellmate spotted me and made his way across the yard. Tank, a high school football hero nickname, apparently, stayed out of the fray for the most part. Not that he didn’t have the look of someone who could drive your head into the asphalt with one good push, but according to him, he was waiting for his dad’s high power lawyers to get his sentence reduced so he could be relocated to a
better
facility, a facility more fitting of a man with a hefty bank account. I had no complaints about him. Sharing a twelve by twelve with Tank was like winning the cellmate lotto, especially with some of the creepy fuckers doing time with us.

Aside from being built like a linebacker, Tank was a normal guy. Like so many guys inside, he insisted that he’d never done anything to warrant jail time and that the judge just didn’t like him because, ironically enough, he came from a privileged background. But that was as detailed as he ever got about his crime. Even though he was mostly a rich, entitled sounding dick, I felt bad for the guy. He had a wife at home, a wife whom he loved like fucking Romeo loved Juliet. He spent a lot of his time talking about her, and I found myself listening whenever he told stories about his wife. Not just because there wasn’t that much else to keep my mind occupied but because every story he told painted a picture of a woman who I was almost certain couldn’t exist. I had begun to think that she was only a dream woman and that Tank was just making her up as he went along.

“Hey, roomie.” Tank sat on the edge of concrete wall next to me. “Are you going to join in that basketball game or what?”

“Nah, think I’ll just work out on the bars.”

He leaned back and rested his elbows on the top edge of the wall. “Yep, think I’ll skip it today. That big fuckface, Nate, is really generous with those elbow swings. Almost broke my nose last time. Don’t need any more twists and turns in this beak.” He reached up and tapped his nose. “Broke it twice playing football in high school.”

It seemed I was about to hear another football story. With any luck, it would morph into a story about her, about Jacy.

“One time I took a direct hit at practice, not even sure how it happened. I was wearing my helmet, but boom, heard the thing break and blood just gushed into my mouth and down my chin. The homecoming game was that night, but I still played a pretty fucking good game even with black eyes and a pounding headache.”

“What about you, Ledge? You look like the kind of guy who played football.”

I shook my head. “They didn’t have much of a team at the continuation high school I got transferred to. Got caught smoking pot . . . twice. So they shipped me to the school of misfits.”

He laughed. “Is that sort of like the Island of Misfit Toys?”

“Yep, that’s exactly what it was. Have to admit, the teachers there were far less preachy than the teachers at the regular high school. Guess they didn’t want to waste their energy telling us how to behave because we were already doomed to failure.”

The basketball came rolling toward us. I stopped it with my foot, picked it up and heaved it back toward the game.

“Shit, that’s rough. Doesn’t sound like you had it too bad at home, not like a lot of the guys in here. What made you decide to stray off the path of righteousness, as they say?”

I thought about his question. It was a good one that had a lot of answers, but if I had to pinpoint a day that would be easy. But I never talked about that day. There was no way to go back in time and change the outcome of that shitty day, so there was no sense talking about it. And it had been so long ago, I’d washed what I could of it from my memory. But that day had changed the way everyone looked at me, including my parents. That day had been the catalyst.

“Guess I was just born with the penchant for trouble.” Topic change needed. “You mentioned that you and Jacy were high school sweethearts.”

His face always changed when he heard her name. It was sort of a lost, dark expression that washed over his face. I’d concluded it was a result of the heartache of loving someone and not being able to be with them. Tank nodded, and I figured this was going to be one of those days when he didn’t want to talk about her. Some days he was free with the stories, and other days, he kept it all bound tightly in his chest as if it hurt too much to think about her.

“Jacy was a cheerleader,” he said quietly.

“Guess that makes sense if you were a football player. It’s kind of a high school requirement, isn’t it?”

Tank had that all-American quality about him, the good looks and confident personality that surely would have made him a big man on campus.

He smiled at my comment. “Guess it sort of is a requirement. We were a popular couple on campus. But Jacy, she was never like the other girls. She talked to everyone, you know? She’d sit at the table with the geeks and cast-offs to eat lunch without a second thought. Sometimes I’d get pissed at her for hanging out with people other than, you know, the popular crowd, our group of friends.” He laughed. “She’d tell me she was in need of talking to people who had more thoughts and ideas in their heads than how to throw a football or how to make the perfect French braid. We all thought we were too good for everyone else, but Jacy never thought that.” Another laugh but this one was edged with something that almost seemed like regret.

He leaned forward and rested his arms on his legs. He’d drifted off, possibly to his glory days of high school. They certainly must have been fucking glorious with a girl like Jacy on his arm.

“There was this kid,” he started, his voice low, “everyone teased him because he had this big head, and he had these—” He stopped and shook his head. “Shit.” He paused again, and I thought the story was over.

Rickley, the prison’s most disliked guard walked over with his beer belly tucked up in his black gun belt. We both looked up at him. He had one of those permanent snarls, as if his mouth had frozen that way. “Why aren’t you two cackling hens in the game?”

“Not in the mood today, Officer Rickley,” I said with a sugary smile added at the end.

“Always the smart-ass, Cain, eh? How about both of you pansies get up and walk the perimeter or something. A tired animal is always easier to tame than a rested one.”

I didn’t have to look to know that Tank’s fist had balled into iron just like my own. But we both kept our cool. Rickley was known to tease, to rile. He took pleasure in seeing someone lose their cool. The real reward came when his victim added months to his sentence. But I had no intention of staying longer than I was given.

“You are very right,” I stood up. “Come on, Tank. Let’s take a stroll around the grounds.” I grinned at Rickley, but Tank sneered at him as we headed off on our walk.

I was sure Tank was done with his story but then he started it again.

“Tumors or something,” he said.

I glanced over at him in confusion.

“The kid,” he shook his head. “I think his real name was Charles. Guess I never took the time to find out. He had these big protrusions on his cheek and ear and forehead. Poor sap, he was hard to look at. Sometimes we called him Quasimodo, you know, after the Hunchback.”

“Yeah, got that. They left us alone a lot at the misfit high school, so I did a lot of reading.”

He laughed. “Never pictured you as the bookish type, but hey, it takes all kinds. Anyhow, no one would ever hang with the guy cuz, well, you can imagine. You know how you are in high school.”

“Nah, I was a misfit. I didn’t have that much capacity for meanness because I was already on the receiving end of it.”

“As much as everyone else avoided him, Jacy went out of her way to be friends with the guy. She even used to bring him cookies and stuff. She said he was brilliant and knew all kinds of science and shit. Then one day the kid, get this, the kid climbed the church steeple and jumped off, Quasimodo style. Boom. Dead.”

“Shit. Wasn’t expecting that ending. And Jacy?”

“She wouldn’t talk to any of her friends anymore. Hell, it even took her a month before she talked to me again. She quit the cheer squad. It hit her hard. Couldn’t blame her. Truth was, she was just way too damn good for the rest of us.” He dropped his gaze to the ground and his shoulders sank as if some dark hole was sucking him down into the ground. “Too good for me, that’s for damn sure.” The words were spoken out loud, but it seemed he was talking to himself when he said them.

Chapter 15

-Jacy-

I was like
a teenager again. Ledger’s knock on my door sent a nervous thrill through me. I’d had the same response when my phone rang at work, and I saw his name on the screen. I’d fallen back in time and I was a bubble headed, starry eyed teenage girl and my biggest crush had finally taken notice of me. I’d even put on a flirty dress, something I hadn’t done in a long time. Of course, there was one big difference between now and my teen years—I’d never had this big a crush on anyone. Not even on the man who I’d stupidly rushed to marry right after high school.

I placed Rex’s bowl of food on his placemat and went to the door. I tried not to look too ridiculously excited when I opened it. Ledger had smoothed and tied back the long portion of his hair. He’d trimmed up his beard and pulled on a black t-shirt and jeans.

His eyes dropped immediately to my dress. The way he looked at it assured me I’d made the right wardrobe choice. Even if the breeze coming off the beach was glacial.

I waved him in. “Hurry, it’s Arctic cold out there tonight.”

He slipped past me. “Never been to the Arctic, but I imagine it’s a tad bit colder than this.”

“Oh. Then if it’s not that cold, I guess I won’t need a kiss to warm me up.”

He grabbed my hand as I turned to go to the kitchen. With a little more strength, it seemed, than he’d planned for, he pulled me into his arms. “Maybe I spoke too soon. I mean what the hell do I know about the Arctic?” His mouth covered mine in the kiss I’d been thinking about all day. More than once, I’d caught myself standing in the coffee-scented cloud of the brewing pots daydreaming about Ledger.

He lifted his mouth from mine. “Warm enough yet?”

“Yes, but I think I’ll need fortification throughout the night. Especially because I dressed for summer.” I stepped back and swirled around once in my dress. When I faced him again, that same hungry look I’d seen at the door had returned.

“Yeah, about that dress—” His arms were around me again. His mouth covered mine as his hands slid down my back to the skirt on my dress. He bunched it up in his fists until the cool air in the room brushed against my panties. He pushed his hand under my panties and cupped my ass. “I’ve been thinking about you all day, Jacy. About touching you and kissing you and fucking you.”

His words sent heat through my belly and moisture pooled in my pussy.

“Then you opened the door in this dress . . .” he growled in a deep gritty tone I’d never heard before. “Please, Jacy.”

I stepped out of his reach. He stared at me as if I’d landed a punch to his stomach. The heated look in his face should have frightened me, but it was having the opposite effect. I lifted the dress up above my panties. His gaze stayed riveted on me as I pushed my panties down. Without another word, I turned and walked down the hallway. His heavy, urgent footsteps landed behind me. I squealed and raced for my door.

I’d taken the time to put away pictures and the lamb toy. I had to stop using my past as an excuse not to get on with my life. The constant reminders that I kept around were making it hard to move on. And, it wasn’t as if without them, I would ever forget.

I turned around. Ledger’s expression was almost feral. He reached into his pocket and pulled out several condoms. “Came with these. Just in case.”

“Aren’t you a well prepared boy.”

I’d teased him by dropping my panties, and there was no turning back. I had no intention of it. Up until now, we’d been pretty tame about all this, politely dancing around each other. Especially Ledger. I knew he’d been gritting his teeth with self-control, but in this moment, with the molten heat swirling around us, it seemed we’d crossed a line. Caution and wariness about each other had evaporated. And frankly, I was relieved.

When it came to Ledger, I found my ability to flirt had returned with a flourish. I pressed my finger coyly to my bottom lip as I inched the dress up above my naked pussy. “Is this what you’re looking for, sir?”

A half wild growl rolled from his chest as he stomped toward me. I screamed excitedly and backed up against the mattress. I fell back onto the bed just as he reached me. I scooted back, but he took hold of my thighs and pulled me toward him so my bottom was at the edge of the bed.

He knelt down on the floor, positioning himself between my legs. His mouth pressed against the inside of my knees. Then he trailed hot kisses all the way up my inner thigh. My legs parted more as his warm breath neared my pussy.

He placed my legs over his shoulders as he gazed up at me with glazed brown eyes. “You are beautiful, Jacy. Every fucking inch of you. And I want it all.”

His fingers smoothed along my thigh. A shiver of pleasure shook my whole body as he spread me wide open. “God, baby, just beautiful.” His deep voice floated up from between my thighs.

His beard brushed the inside of my thighs and tickled my skin as he pressed his mouth against me. I bunched the quilt up in my fingers. I needed to hold onto something. I needed to anchor myself down or risk floating away in a cloud of ecstasy.

One hand slid under my ass, and he lifted me higher as his tongue explored every intimate inch of me. As his thumb massaged my clit, his tongue impaled me. A moan fluttered off my lips, and my fingers tightened on the quilt. Soon, I found myself rocking against the pressure of his mouth, making sure every part of my pussy was touching him in some way.

I pulled my legs from his shoulders and braced my feet on the edge of the bed to lift my pussy higher. He responded by pushing his tongue deeper. The pulses of an orgasm began deep inside and rolled out, intensifying with each second as my pussy clenched against his mouth.

“Oh, Ledger!” I writhed against his tongue as he coaxed my pussy into a longer lasting stream of pleasure. I could barely catch my breath. A hot flush covered my skin as the waves slowly subsided. But as he pulled his mouth from me, I felt an intense need for him to fill the void left behind.

I reached for him. He was just barely out of my grasp. “Ledger, I need you. I need you inside of me. Now.”

He reached back and pulled off his shirt as he stood. He loomed over me, looking hot, hard and slightly dangerous as he kicked off his shoes. He unbuttoned his fly with a sly grin, and I smiled back in anticipation. He leaned over to push down his pants before I could get a real glimpse of him. He straightened. The sight of his thick, hard cock made my pussy ache with wanting him.

I moved back on the bed as Ledger rolled on the condom. I’d disappointed him the night before. Yet, he’d selflessly brought me to climax after I climbed naked into his bed. The way he looked at me now, as he positioned himself between my legs and lowered his body over me, assured me that there was no turning back. Telling him no tonight would be not just disappointing; it would be devastating. But I had no plans of it. I wanted him. More than ever, I wanted Ledger.

He stayed raised on an elbow, seemingly worried he’d crush me as he slipped his free hand beneath my bottom to lift me higher. His cock teased at my pussy.

I curled my hand around his neck and brought his mouth closer to mine. “There is only one thing I want right now in this entire world, Ledger, and that’s you . . . inside of me.” My words trailed off into the dimly lit room.

Ledger gripped me tightly as he pushed inside of me. His mouth covered mine as he rocked inside of me, filling me, satisfying the ache. He was gentle but strong and everything about being in his arms felt right.

I lifted my legs, circling his waist. I wanted more of him.

A deep groan rolled up from his throat as I lifted myself higher, inviting him to go deeper. My body met his with an eagerness I’d never known before, but the connection wasn’t just physical. As he kissed me and pushed inside of me, I could feel charges of emotion between us that I couldn’t explain. He held me as if I’d been his forever, as if we’d been together forever, as if there was no one else in this world more meant for each other. The night before, the quiet of his dark room and the way he’d touched me, gently bringing me to orgasm, had caused tears to burn my eyes. I had never experienced sex in such a way, where, what I felt, mattered the most, Tonight that feeling had been intensified with the way he made love to me, as if I mattered. As if I was a gift not to be wasted.

Heat poured off his body, surrounding me with warmth. He moved rhythmically against me, rounding himself against me to push his cock deeper. Somehow, he reached a tender spot that made me suck in a deep shuddering breath. I clutched at his arms, needing something to hold onto as he thrust into me, again and again.

“Come for me, Jacy. I want to feel your pussy tighten around me.”

His erotic words pushed me over the edge. I tightened my legs around him as he dove into me reaching sensitive, secret spots I never knew existed. Exquisite pulses shot through my pussy, and I cried out in ecstasy.

“That’s it, baby. That’s what I needed.” His deep voice came to me through the haze. His body moved faster now, and a satisfying tenderness filled me with each thrust. A low, deep groan followed as his grip on me tightened and he came.

He opened his eyes and gazed down at me, and that emotion I was feeling when he was moving inside of me was still there. He lifted his hand to my face and pressed it against my cheek as he leaned down to kiss me. We’d taken this to the next level. I was as thrilled as I was scared. I hadn’t given my heart to anyone in forever. And the one person I had given it to, unconditionally, had taken it and broken it into a million pieces. Was Ledger there to put it back together again? Or would I once again be devastated by heartbreak?

Ledger lowered himself onto the mattress next to me and cradled me in his arms, holding me against him as if he was never going to let me go. I curled up smaller, so I could cuddle closer because as far as I was concerned, he could hold me like this forever.