Hard Core (12 page)

Chapter 26

-Jacy-

The shroud of
mist on the beach fit my mood perfectly. The long bike ride had left me physically tired, and the events that followed had left me mentally drained.

Rex had loped ahead to the house. He had been cooped up inside for a good part of the day, although he spent most of that in his daytime nap ritual, but I knew he needed to get out and stretch. I’d purposely walked the opposite way from usual, away from Bombay Cottage, instead of toward it. I was going to need some time to replay the day in my head before I talked to Ledger again.

Rachel had texted and left a message to find out how the day had gone, but I wasn’t in the mood to talk about it yet. Mostly because I still wasn’t completely sure how I was feeling. I wasn’t sure if I was more disappointed in the fact that Ledger had, at some point in time, been in jail, or if most of the let down came from him not telling me. I’d just begun to trust him, but this had put a kink in that trust for good.

Rex barked excitedly. My gaze shot to the steps in front of my house. There was no mistaking the tall figure standing on my stoop. He had his hands in his pockets and his hood up over his head. Rex had given me away, and short of staying on the cold, foggy beach all night, I had no choice but to see Ledger.

I climbed the steps to my house and realized that, even though I was angry with him, my hands and knees still trembled at the thought of seeing him.

Just as I finished reminding myself to stay strong and not let his incredibly disarming gaze knock me off my guard, he pushed his hood back. My heart thudded in my chest. If only he wasn’t so damn amazing, then ignoring him and telling him to leave me alone would have been easy. But Ledger made that really hard to do.

“Hey,” he said quietly, “just thought I’d come by to make sure you got home all right.”

“Yep, made it just fine. I’ve been here, living at Rockwood Beach, on my own, for a long time. I don’t need anyone to watch over me.” As curt as the words were, my voice was shaky behind them. The truth was that for the past few weeks, I’d loved knowing that someone was near who cared about me, that I wasn’t completely alone. I hadn’t felt as sad. I hadn’t spent as many nights curled up in tears, holding onto the toy lamb.

“Right.” He stepped forward as if he was going to leave.

I wasn’t ready for him to walk away yet. “How is Mike?”

He looked relieved that I’d restarted the conversation, but he had a hard time looking straight at me. “Shaken and sore. I tried to get him to go to the doctor, but he went home for some aspirin.”

“He might have been far worse off if you hadn’t shown up. You were really something, Ledger.”

He had no response, but I’d already learned that he didn’t take compliments well. It seemed his parents and teachers had done an injustice to him by only ever pointing out his faults. He had plenty in his character that deserved accolades.

“I took a joy ride in a stolen police car,” he blurted it out fast. “I was at a real low in my life, and I was high and looking for trouble.” He finally faced me. Again, I had to remind myself to stay strong. But the look of anguish in his handsome face made that hard.

His throat moved beneath his beard as he seemed to search for words. “Just so you know, I would never hurt anyone intentionally, not unless they deserved it like those two guys today. I’m not like that.”

I nodded. My throat was tight as I spoke. “I can tell, Ledger. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my past, it’s how to judge character. I just wish you’d told me. We were just learning to trust each other, to make this relationship work, but now that’s going to be hard.”

“Yeah, I understand. You’re the first good thing that’s happened to me in a long time. I didn’t want to scare you off.” He walked to the steps without another word.

I turned around to watch him. “Is that it? Is that how easily you give up on the best thing that’s happened in a long time?”

He swung around and looked at me.

“Guess you can just walk away or you can—”

He stomped toward me and had me in his arms before I could finish. He held me tightly, as if he was still sure I’d send him off, as his mouth came down hard over mine.

My mind dashed back and forth, and I asked myself what the heck I was doing, reminding myself that I didn’t need this or someone like Ledger in my life. I’d been fine on my own. Lonely, but fine. There was no chance of heartbreak when I was alone. But as Ledger’s hands slipped under my sweatshirt and caressed my skin, it occurred to me that it was too late. I’d already fallen hard for the man. The distinct inevitability of heartbreak was already there.

“Ledger,” I said on a puff of breath, “take me inside.”

We stepped inside. Rex headed straight for the warmth of his pillow. The coastal fog seeped in beneath the door and through the gaps on the old windows but it didn’t matter. The heat between us was all I needed.

Ledger swept me up in his arms, and I leaned against his hard chest as he carried me to my bedroom. He lowered my feet to the floor. My pulse racing, I stood still, like a doll as he undressed me. My head spun with the reality that I was already in love with him. Keep grounded. Don’t lose your head. I’d warned myself many times, but it was too late.

His gaze warmed me as he stared down at my naked body. He kissed me as his hands smoothed over my naked breasts and down over my hips to my ass. With Ledger it took no more than a kiss to make my body react completely.

“Ledger,” I whispered against his mouth, “please don’t break the tattered heart I have left.”

He stopped. For a second I worried that I’d scared him off. He lifted my chin to look up at his face. “Never, Jacy.”

He kissed me again. I reached for his fly and helped him take off his jeans. He pulled off his shirt and sweatshirt. My hands flew to the ink maze on his chest. I’d grown familiar with every design, every color and stroke of ink. I pressed my mouth against his skin. I left a trail of kisses down his stomach as I lowered down to my knees.

A deep, guttural groan rained down over me as I curled my fingers around his cock and pressed my lips against the fleshy tip. Salty liquid coated my tongue as I swirled it around him, tasting him and wanting nothing more than to give him pleasure.

His strong hands tangled in my hair and he held my head as I ran my mouth along his erection. I tasted every inch of him. Then I moved my lips back to the tip and moved my mouth over him. I held his cock in one hand and wrapped my free hand around his ass as I took him in farther.

“Fuck yeah, baby. I love your mouth.” His voice was low and gravelly as his fingers twisted deeper into my hair. I pumped his cock into my mouth, taking in as much of him as I could and stroking the rest of him with my hand. I could feel the muscles of his ass tighten as he swayed against me, wanting more of what I was giving. Heat poured down off his body, and his breaths were coming in short, fast clips.

“I don’t want to finish yet, baby. I want to be inside of you.”

He released a frustrated breath as I slid my mouth off of him.

He grabbed a condom and sat on the edge of the bed to put it on. He reached up, grabbed hold of my waist and pulled me to him. I climbed onto his lap and wrapped my arms around his head so that his face was pressed against my breasts. His strong hands gripped my ass, parting my cheeks, parting my pussy as I slid down over him. We were always in rhythm. Ledger already knew my body as if we’d always been together, as if we’d been made for each other.

I rose and fell over him, squeezing my legs and my pussy tight around him. The warm friction between our bodies was in stark contrast to the cool air in the room, and the heat swirled through me. His grip tightened on my ass and he impaled me faster and harder. I held his face against me, holding him tightly as my thighs trembled. His cock drove into me again. My pussy tightened with spasms as we came together.

I stayed there, his cock inside of me and his face pressed against my breasts. It almost seemed I could hear both our hearts beating in unison, just as our bodies had reached orgasm together.

Slowly, I regained my composure. I sat up and gazed down at him.

He reached up and pushed my hair off my face. “I’m still having a hard time believing this is real. That you are real. That I’m sitting here with an angel like you on my lap.”

I kissed his mouth. “Fate is funny like that, isn’t it?”

There was a flicker of something in his expression that I couldn’t explain, but then it disappeared and he wrapped his arms around me.

Chapter 27

-Jacy-

I flipped over
the closed sign, took one last look at the shop to make sure everything was turned off and then headed over to Rachel’s shop. I’d offered to help her bag up cookies for a catering event. It would kill some time before the evening when Ledger got home from work. I knew I was becoming too dependent on seeing him, but I couldn’t help myself. I’d been thrown off by the revelation that he’d been in prison, but I found that my admiration for him and the way I felt when I was with him made it much easier to accept. It seemed he really was working toward changing. And if I was a catalyst for that, then all the better.

I felt safe with Ledger, something, I realized, in retrospect, I’d never felt with James. I was young and inexperienced when I met James. I’d mistaken his possessiveness for being protective. I had convinced myself that there was a fine line of difference between the two, which was how I’d missed seeing it. But now I knew better. There wasn’t a thin line between being possessed and being protected. There was a huge, deep chasm. One was all about control, and one was about caring for someone so much that you would do anything to keep them safe.

I pushed open the door to Rachel’s shop and took a deep breath. “I smell coconut, and it’s making my mouth water.”

Rachel leaned back to see around the doorway of the kitchen. “I saved you one. It’s my newest creation—chocolate, macadamia and coconut cookies.”

The massive granite topped island, where Rachel rolled, shaped and cut pastries, was covered with cooling racks brimming with freshly baked cookies. She had rolls of ribbon and a crate of pearl colored cellophane bags sitting alongside them.

Rachel pointed to the other side of the island where she’d set up a work station for me. As promised, she’d put an extra large cookie aside on a plate just for me.

I picked it up and closed my eyes to enjoy it. I chewed, swallowed, sighed. “You are nothing short of genius, my friend.”

“I was rather pleased with the way they turned out. I was afraid they might be too crumbly, but they hold together just fine.”

“Yep, perfect.” I took another bite.

“Let me show you what to do while you’re nibbling the cookie.” She reached over to a rack of lemon cookies, then moved on to her famous peanut butter thumbprints and then picked up her new coconut creation. “You pick up one of each and place a square of parchment between each cookie so the lemon doesn’t taste like peanut butter and so on. Then you slide the entire stack into a cellophane bag and tie a ribbon around it.” She tied a pink ribbon to secure the bag and placed the finished package in a box at the end of the counter.

“And just to clear this up, do I get to eat any of the cookies I break? Not that I’m planning to break . . . many. But in an operation like this, there are always casualties.”

Rachel laughed. “I suppose you may, but remember, I need three hundred of these bags.”

I pulled on some gloves and picked up a lemon cookie.

Rachel had already filled and tied off a bag before I’d even gotten my first square of parchment sandwiched between the cookies. “You sure are in a good mood lately, Jacy. Must be the great sex.”

The coconut cookie broke in half in my hand. “That was your fault for bringing up the sex.”

“Ah ha. So it is great. Of course it is. How could a man like Ledger not be good in the sack? I’m glad for you, Jacy. Jealous as hell, but I’m happy. You deserved this.”

I hadn’t told Rachel about the incident at the pier. I’d avoided the topic by focusing on the day’s bike ride and how you really never do forget how to ride one. But I was starting to feel guilty about holding back so much. Rachel was always quick to tell me everything that was happening in her life, like a true friend would and should.

I held up my first finished bag. “How is this?”

“Great. Now move faster or we’ll be here all night. And I’ve got a date.”

I picked up three cookies and set to work separating them with parchment. “Who is this new Mr. Right?”

“Shh, you’ll jinx it. I think this could be him.” She was holding back a smile.

“Rach, what’s up? You’ve got that look.”

She huffed. “O.K., I’ll tell you but then you have to tell me something, a secret of some kind. I’m always telling you the nitty gritty and never getting any in return.”

“You’re right. I promise. And I have something pretty nitty and gritty, for lack of better terms.”

“I signed up for one of those on-line dating sites.” She blurted it out fast as if she was sure I’d disapprove.

“I think that’s great, Rach. So, this man was on the site?”

“Yes. His name his Quinn. He lives about twenty miles inland, but that’s no big deal. He owns a restaurant, a pretty swanky one, it seems, because I, of course, Googled it and him to find out more. He’s a little older, thirty-two, but I think that will be good for me. And get this—he wants to start a new restaurant, and he’s interested in having a new pastry chef.”

I tried to keep my expression neutral, but my silly, judgy expression popped up anyhow.

She dropped her shoulders. “What?”

“Nothing. Just don’t get too ahead of yourself. You’re talking about your first date, and in the same sentence, you’re talking about working as his pastry chef.”

“Thought you’d be excited.”

“I am, Rachel. I’m very excited. So ignore me. I’m just terrified at the thought of you moving away from here.”

“We’re friends forever, Jacy. So, no worries there. And, like you said, I can’t get ahead of myself.” She tied off another bag.

I slipped three more cookies into the crisp, cellophane bag.

“Sooo . . .” she said, “what’s your nugget of fun?”

“Well, it’s not small enough to be a nugget, and it wasn’t much fun when I found out.”

Rachel’s green eyes rounded. “Damn. You’ve got my full attention, so go.”

“It started when we got back from our bike ride.”

She pointed at me with a peanut butter cookie. “I knew something had happened that day. You were acting funny afterward. Continue.”

“Mike, the guy with bike rental stand, was being robbed.”

Her mouth dropped. “I heard something had happened on the pier and that there were a bunch of police and some fight or something.” She pretended to zip her mouth closed, signaling for me to continue.

“Mike had tried to fend them off, and he got slammed to the ground. Ledger raced in to help him.” I stopped to think about that scary moment. “He didn’t think twice or hesitate for a second. He took on both thieves easily.”

“Oh my, that is hot. Braveness to go with all that good stuff. And then?”

“The police came. Without stopping first to find out the particulars, they had the two thieves and Ledger handcuffed. The situation looked volatile enough that they decided to subdue everyone first and ask questions later. Which was when something came up about Ledger. Something he’d conveniently forgotten to mention to me.”

Rachel was practically leaning over the cookie racks waiting for me to drop the bomb.

“Ledger has been in jail. He’s on parole for taking a joy ride in a police car.”

A laugh spurted from her mouth, but she sealed it off fast. “Sorry, but that’s kind of funny. Not exactly your everyday crime.” She looked at me across the counter. “Not enough to be a deal breaker, is it? You two seem suited to each other.”

“I’m not thrilled about it, but I was more disappointed that he’d kept it from me. If we keep secrets from each other, we’ll never really get this relationship moving forward.”

Rachel harrumphed loud enough to scatter the pieces of parchment. “Seriously, Jacy? So you’ve been completely open and honest with him? And if you have, I’m going to be pissed because we’ve been best friends for a year, and I only know that your ex is named James and that he’s an asshole.”

I set the stack of cookies on the counter and reached for some of the scattered parchment. I was keeping a lot from Rachel and from Ledger, but that was mostly for my own protection. It was too painful to talk about. Maybe it was time to open the cork and let some of the bad stuff flow. Maybe it would be good for me. “You’re right, Rachel. But not today. I have to work up the courage first.”