Gold in the Fire and Light in the Storm (5 page)

“Isn’t he great?”

Two more dogs, one a cross between a collie and a German shepherd and the other with a lot of Chow in him, vied for Sean’s attention. He tossed a ball for each of them to fetch.

“Where do you draw the line at taking in strays?” Darcy asked, turning slightly so she faced Joshua.

Sunlight danced in his blue eyes. “I haven’t found that point yet. I usually manage to locate homes for my strays, but if I can’t, I keep them until I find one. Every once in a while one of the strays touches me in a certain way and I end up keeping him for a pet.”

“Hence the four dogs and two cats?”

He nodded, silent laughter making his eyes sparkle. “That’s one of the reasons I fell in love with this house. The yard is so big.”

“You know, when we return to Panama City I’m gonna have a hard time with Sean. He’ll probably start wanting a larger house so he can have more pets. I won’t be surprised if he doesn’t start finding strays. Joshua Markham, you have made quite an impression on my son in the short time we’ve known you.”

He straightened, satisfaction stamped on his features. “I aim to please.”

That was the problem. He was pleasing to look at, pleasing to be around. She had no intention of getting serious about a man after her marriage to Clay, but she was finding that harder and harder to remember the more she was with Joshua.

“Why didn’t Grandpa come with us?” Sean asked as he hopped from the car and started for the church.

“He was tired and thought he would go to bed early tonight.” Darcy trailed behind her son with Lizzy at her side.

“Maybe he’ll come on Sunday with us.” Seeing Nate Bradshaw, Sean hurried into the building.

Lizzy stopped on the sidewalk to catch her breath. “You and I both know your father won’t come on Sunday or next Wednesday night. He hasn’t stepped foot in church since the day of your mother’s funeral.”

“I know. Maybe Sean can do what you and I couldn’t—get Dad to come to church.”

Lizzy shook her head. “I’ve been trying for the past thirteen years to no avail. He’s unusually quiet about his reasons behind stopping, which in itself is a mystery. Your father is rarely quiet about anything.”

As well Darcy knew. She had been on more than one occasion at the other end of her father’s sharp tongue and biting opinions. She held one of the double glass doors open for Lizzy, who carried a large casserole dish for the Wednesday-night potluck dinner and church service. While Lizzy headed toward the kitchen, Darcy was letting the door close when a woman about her age with a young girl in a wheelchair approached. Smiling at the woman and child, Darcy stepped to the side to allow them into the building. The young girl, her face with an ashen complexion, grinned up at Darcy.

“Hi, I’m Darcy O’Brien.”

“I’m Crystal.”

Darcy glanced at the tall, slightly overweight woman with shoulder-length light brown hair and hazel eyes pushing Crystal’s wheelchair.

“And I’m Crystal’s mother, Tanya. Lizzy said something about Shamus Flanaghan’s daughter and grandson coming home for the summer.” The woman smiled, two dimples appearing in her cheeks.

“That would be me,” Darcy said, responding to the upbeat, enthusiastic tone in the woman’s voice and the happy expression on her face.

“Well, it’s a pleasure meeting you. Lizzy has been such a dear to me and my family since the accident.” Tanya started toward the rec hall, maneuvering the wheelchair around people in the foyer. “This is our first outing in a long time. Crystal’s been dying to see her friends.”

Inside the large room with rows of tables set for dinner, Tanya wheeled Crystal toward a group of children standing around the piano. The music director was playing and the kids were singing. When a song ended, everyone greeted Crystal, a couple of the girls hugging her. Tanya backed away and stood next to Darcy.

The woman blew out a relieved breath. “I’m glad that’s over with.”

“What?”

“Crystal was anxious about this first meeting.”

“You said something about an accident. What happened?”

Tanya frowned, the lines on her forehead deepening into grooves. “She was taking a riding lesson when her horse got spooked and bolted. She fell and injured her spine. The doctors say she’ll never walk again.”

Darcy remembered her own falls from a horse and shivered. “I’m sorry.” The words seemed inadequate.

“Crystal’s got a great attitude. She’ll be okay. That’s more than I can say about her father.”

The children finished singing and began moving toward the couch area with the youth minister. Tanya rushed forward to push her daughter. Darcy headed toward the kitchen to help Lizzy with the dinner setup.

“I see you met Tanya Bolton and Crystal,” Lizzy said, handing Darcy a stack of plates to put on the serving table.

“Yes. When did Crystal have her riding accident?”

“Last fall. Tragic. Tom, her father, has been a hard man to live with. I try to help as much as I can, but he is so angry. Tanya had enough to cope with before the accident. Now I don’t know how she does it.”

Darcy came back to pick up another stack of plates. “Money problems?”

Lizzy nodded. “Crystal’s accident has been very hard on the family, financially as well as emotionally. Tanya needs all the friends she can get right now.” She pinned Darcy with a worried expression. “And your prayers.”

“That I can give.” Darcy peered through the door into the rec hall and found the woman standing by her daughter, listening to the youth minister. Her heart went out to Tanya Bolton. If something like that happened to Sean, she wasn’t sure how she would handle it.

Darcy’s gaze shifted away and lit upon Joshua speaking with the reverend. Her heartbeat responded with a quicker pace. He looked good to the eyes, Darcy thought, taking in Joshua dressed casually in a pair of tan slacks and navy-blue polo shirt. The blue brought out the color of his eyes.

She recalled the pain she’d seen reflected in those eyes when he’d talked about his ex-fiancée. She, too, had been through a difficult relationship, so she felt a kinship with Joshua. That was all she could allow, however. In a few months she and Sean would return to
Panama City where their home was. Sweetwater wasn’t home anymore. Sometimes she wondered if it ever really had been.

Joshua caught her looking at him. A smile lit his eyes, the lines at the corners of them deepening. A dimple appeared at his mouth and held her attention for a few seconds before she averted her gaze.

She turned back toward Lizzy. “What else do you need me to do?”

“We just need to get the dishes on the table and then we’re ready to eat.”

“Sounds good to me. I haven’t eaten since breakfast.”

“Can I help you two?”

Joshua’s question brought her around to face him. “Sure. As you can see, we have a lot of food.” Darcy waved toward all the dishes on the counter.

Side by side she and Joshua worked to put the food out on the long serving table while Lizzy put finishing touches on some of the dishes. Seeing Joshua here this evening added a bounce to Darcy’s walk, as though his presence completed the night. She shouldn’t feel that way. She had every intention of leaving Sweetwater when the summer was over. She and her father couldn’t stay in the same town for long. She didn’t want to fall into the same old pattern she’d been in while growing up, and even while married to Clay. She was just discovering who Darcy O’Brien really was.

“I’m glad to see you here tonight.” Joshua’s deep,
rich voice cut into her thoughts, bringing her back to the present.

“You are?”

“Yes. I was going to call you tomorrow. Ned says that Sean can have his puppy a little earlier than usual. After your son’s visit the other day, he decided that Sean would be a great owner and there wasn’t any reason to wait another week.”

“Have you told Sean yet?”

“No, I wanted to run it by you first.”

“If I know my son, he’ll want to go over to Ned’s tomorrow morning before the sun rises.”

Joshua laughed. “Afraid he’ll have to wait a little. Ned doesn’t go off duty until the afternoon.”

“Sean will be beside himself. Dad has arranged for him to have a horse. He’ll be riding him for the first time tomorrow morning. Are you off?”

He nodded. “Why?”

“This would be a good time for you to go riding with us. Remember you said you wanted to ride more? Well, I’m giving you the perfect excuse to. Then you can go with us to pick up the puppy, since you’re the reason we’re getting her.”

Joshua ran a hand through his hair, thinking. “I have to confess I’m not a good rider. In fact, I’m no kind of rider.”

“Then you and Sean will have something in common. Sean’s only ridden a few times.”

“I hope I don’t regret saying yes.”

“Joshua Markham, you are a man who takes risks
every day in your job. Riding a horse is much easier than fighting fires.” Even as she said the last sentence, the image of Crystal in her wheelchair popped into Darcy’s mind. She shivered.

“Cold?”

“No, I just thought about Crystal Bolton.”

“My point exactly.”

“Accidents happen all the time, Joshua. You know that. We can’t worry about what might happen. If we did, we’d live in fear all the time and never get up in the morning.” Another picture flashed into Darcy’s thoughts: her mother locked in her bedroom with the drapes drawn all day long, sleeping and sleeping. She shook the memory from her mind, determined not to journey into the past. “You’re a risk taker and you love animals. Riding is perfect for you.”

Joshua held up his hand. “Okay. You’ve convinced me. Why the hard sell?”

“I need a referee. My father is determined to work with Sean and his horse. I’m going along to—” Suddenly she stopped, realizing what she was admitting.

Joshua moved closer, until only inches separated them. “Why are you going along, Darcy?”

“To protect my son.” There, she had said it.

“From your father?”

“He taught me to ride but he isn’t a very forgiving teacher. But Sean was so excited when Dad said something about it at breakfast, I didn’t have the heart to say no. My father is a hard man and Sean is so impression
able.” Joshua’s scent, with a hint of musk, teased her senses. She should step back. She didn’t. “Now that I’ve told you, do you still want to go?”

His eyes glinted with humor. “Only if you promise to be my teacher.”

His look mesmerized her. Her mind blanked—until someone behind her coughed, reminding her that she and Joshua were not alone.

“Hi, Mike. It’s good to see you. Do you need something?” Joshua glanced over Darcy’s shoulder.

“That spoon in your hand for the casserole if that’s not too much of an inconvenience.”

Hearing the chuckle in the man’s voice, Darcy spun about, feeling the heat searing her cheeks. “I’m Darcy O’Brien.”

“Shamus Flanaghan’s daughter?”

“Yes.”

“Sorry about that,” the man said belligerently before turning to spoon tuna casserole onto his plate.

Stunned, Darcy opened her mouth to say something, thought better of it and snapped her jaws closed. Anger welled up in her. It was one thing for
her
to say something about her father, but she didn’t like anyone else to criticize him.

“That’s Mike Reynolds, the assistant manager your father fired a few months back.”

Joshua’s whispered words washed over her, sending a chill down her spine. Again his nearness caused her heart to speed up, something it was doing a lot of around Joshua.

As Mike moved down the line, Darcy stepped away from the serving table to allow others to select their food. “Not a particularly friendly guy.”

“I heard the Colemans let him go after the fire. He left in a huff.”

“Could he be responsible for the fires?”

Joshua shrugged. “He certainly doesn’t stay long at a farm. Soon it will be hard for him to be hired at all. He’s garnishing quite a reputation.”

“How so?”

“He’s too rough with the horses.”

The tightness about Joshua’s mouth indicated he didn’t care for Mike’s techniques. “So that was the method my dad didn’t like.”

“Probably. Mike gets results from his horses, but at a cost.”

Her father might have been tough on her when he was raising her, demanding perfection, but he was always gentle with his horses—in fact, any of the animals at the farm. She could remember once when she was a little girl wishing she had been a horse so her father would love her. Hurt, buried deep, rose and threatened to overwhelm her.

“Darcy, are you okay?”

She blinked, focusing on the here and now. Coming home had been tougher than she had thought possible. She slowly gave Joshua a nod, but inside she didn’t feel all right. The fragile new life she was building for herself was beginning to unravel and she wasn’t sure how to hold it together.

“D
ad, are you sure about this?” Darcy asked as she and her father walked toward the barn.

“I’m supposed to start exercising just so long as I don’t overdo it. Yes, I’m sure.”

“I can teach Sean to ride.”

“I want to.” Her father gave her a hard look. “I haven’t been able to do much else for my only grandchild.”

Guilt, just as her father had intended, swamped her. She had allowed her own feelings to get in the way of Sean knowing his grandfather. She’d been wrong, and her father was making sure she knew that.

“So Joshua Markham is coming along. What’s going on there?”

Darcy stopped before they reached the barn where Joshua’s red truck was parked. “Nothing, Dad, and don’t imply there is.”

“Mighty defensive, if you ask me.”

She huffed and began walking again. “I’m not.” This was going to be a long morning if her father’s surly attitude was any indication.

“Mom.” Sean raced toward her. “Joshua is a beginner like me.”

Darcy caught sight of Joshua standing by his truck, dressed in jeans, boots and a short-sleeved plaid shirt, rubbing his thumb across the pads of his fingers. “I thought it was about time he learned to ride, since this is horse country. What do you think?”

“Yes. Are you gonna teach him while Grandpa works with me?”

Her son’s eagerness took hold of her, producing a smile. “I’m gonna try. That is, if he’s a quick learner.” She threw the man in question a glance and noticed him ambling over to them.

“What happens if I’m not a quick learner?” Joshua asked, ruffling Sean’s hair.

“It might be kinda fun to see how you handle a runaway horse.”

Sean giggled and turned his face up toward Joshua’s. “Mom’s just kidding. She has the patience of Job.”

“I may be testing that, Sean,” Joshua said, laughing.

“Are we all going to stand around jawing or are we gonna ride?”

“Grandpa, I’m ready.” Sean hurried after his grandfather, who was heading into the barn.

Darcy exhaled a huge breath while she watched her son and father disappear inside.

Joshua took her hand and held it between his. “Sean and Shamus will be fine.”

Darcy clenched her teeth, tension in every fiber of her being. “I’m not so sure.” She tugged her hand free, putting space between them.

“Don’t you know grandparents’ relationships with their grandchildren are different from parents’ with their children?”

A lump clogged her throat. She couldn’t speak for fear her emotions would pour out.

“Besides, you’re gonna have your hands full dealing with me. You’ve got to promise me before I get up on a horse that if it bolts you’ll rescue me.” Again he ran his thumb over and over his fingertips.

She moistened her throat. “But aren’t you the rescuer?”

“A horse, madam, isn’t a burning building.”

Darcy started for the entrance. “I’m so glad you clarified that for me. For a moment I was confused.”

His bark of laughter followed her into the barn. She found her father and Sean at the stall of a dark brown gelding—her son’s horse. Her father finished putting the saddle on, showing Sean every step. Then her father led Sea Wave over to the mounting block and tightened the cinch on the saddle before allowing Sean to get on.

“Just remember, if Sean can do this, so can you.”

“You certainly know how to motivate a guy.”

“I use every means I can to get the job done.” Darcy flipped her hand toward a stall at the other end of the
barn. “That’s your horse for today. Put her saddle on.” She began walking away.

Joshua grabbed her arm. “Where do you think you’re going?” Panic laced his question.

“To get my mare.”

“I may not know much about riding, but I do know if you don’t get your saddle on securely, you will fall off the horse.”

“I know. But we learn so much better from our mistakes.”

He covered the area between them. “You’re enjoying this way too much.”

First she smiled, then she laughed. “Yes.”

Somehow he shrank the space between them, his breath fanning her cheek. “I’m glad. I don’t like seeing you upset. Remember we’re here to have fun. Now, show me how to put on the saddle.”

“First you flatter, then you demand. You have an unique way of getting what you want.”

“Is it working?”

Shaking her head, she stepped around him toward the stall where his horse was. She drew in several deep breaths to still the racing of her pulse. His nearness threatened her resolve to keep an emotional distance.

Darcy brought the gray mare out into the middle of the barn to demonstrate how to secure the saddle. She was aware of Joshua’s close scrutiny and her hands actually quivered. When he took the strap to tighten the girth, their fingers brushed and an electrical current zipped up her
arm. She quickly moved back several paces, feeling the strong beat of her heart against her chest.

“Mom, look at me.”

At the sound of her son’s voice she whirled about. He was seated on Sea Wave, his posture correct, a wide grin on his face. He waved at her and she gave him a thumbs-up. While her father prepared his stallion to ride, Sean waited with the reins in his hands, watching everything his grandfather was doing.

Ten minutes later Darcy mounted her mare while Joshua surged into the saddle as though he had been doing it for years. He flashed her a grin. “I’m a quick study.”

“And I get the impression not much scares you, really.”

“After facing a wall of fire coming at me, you’re probably right.”

“What is it about men and doing risky things?”

“It’s my job.”

“That’s what my husband used to say—and his job killed him.”

“When it’s my time to leave here, then it’s my time. I can’t let fear govern my life or I wouldn’t be able to do my job.”

“There’s nothing wrong with a healthy dose of fear.” Darcy jerked her reins to the left and set her mare into a trot.

“I agree.” Joshua trailed after her, out into the sunshine. “It’s what makes me pause and check out a situation before tackling it. I don’t rush into a burning building without assessing it first.”

“That’s comforting to know.” Darcy clamped her lips together before she said anything else that would give away her growing feelings for the man riding beside her.

“Watch out, Darcy O’Brien, you might actually start to care.”

She shot him an exasperating look. “I care. You’re a friend and I prefer that nothing happens to a friend.”

“We can’t live forever. What’s important is what we do with our time on earth. I want no regrets when I die.”

“So you don’t have
any
regrets?” She pulled on the reins to halt her mare’s progress, allowing her father and Sean to ride ahead.

Joshua brought his horse up next to hers. “I didn’t say that. I have regrets. I’m just working on cutting them down, that’s all.”

“Your approach to life is a lot like my husband’s was. And look what happened to him.” Though their marriage hadn’t been a good one, she’d lived in fear every time he’d gone up in his fighter jet. He’d loved the rush and thrill of defying the laws of nature.

“Did your husband believe in God?” Joshua shaded his eyes with his hand, his gaze intent.

“My husband believed only in himself,” she said with all the bitterness that had built up in her over the years she’d been married.

“Then we aren’t alike at all. I put my faith and my life in God’s hands. That’s not to say I don’t believe in myself. I’ve been trained well to do what I do. There’s only a certain amount of our life we can control—for
the rest we just have to have faith in the Lord that He knows best.”

“I wish I could feel that way.”

“Why can’t you?”

“Because I’m not sure I know who I am.” Darcy spurred her mare forward, needing to put an end to the conversation before she confessed the struggle she was going through to discover the woman left after Clay’s sudden death. Coming home had put her personal journey into a nosedive.

She caught up to her father and son on the trail to the creek as they headed into a grove of trees. There the cool breeze died, replaced by the cool shade. The scent of damp earth and pine vied with leather and horse. Several birds sang above her, while the sound of water rushing over rocks resonated through the woods.

This was her favorite place on the farm. When she was a little girl, she came here to think…or to cry. She almost hated the idea of coming here now with her father because this had been where she’d come to escape the stress of trying to be perfect for him.

Her emotions warring, she stopped near the stream and dismounted. “This place hasn’t changed,” she murmured, making a slow circle, taking in the tranquility that surrounded her. Physically at least…but spiritually it had changed. She wasn’t the same little girl who had fought every day for her father’s approval. That much she knew about herself. Somewhere along the line she’d given up. Hadn’t she?

“Beautiful.” Joshua came up next to her.

Sunlight shot through the openings in the tree canopy to flood the forest floor as though gold poured from the heavens to mingle with the browns and greens of earth. A merging of two worlds. Darcy wanted to dance in the streams of light, lift her face up and let them bathe her in warmth.

“Yes, it is,” she said.

A yellow butterfly, soaring on an air current, passed in front of her. She watched it disappear into the thick grove on the other side of the creek and wished she could follow.

“Did you see me, Joshua?” Sean ran up to him. “Grandpa says I’m a natural.”

Darcy’s gaze fastened onto her father, upstream, holding the reins of both horses. Weariness showed in the deepening lines about his mouth and eyes. “Dad, why don’t we sit and rest here for a while?”

He came alert. “I don’t need to rest.”

“You might not, but I do. I haven’t been here in years and would like to enjoy it for a while.”

Tension seemed to siphon from him, sagging his shoulders. “Fine. I’d forgotten this was your favorite place.”

“It was, Mom?” Sean asked.

Darcy nodded, her gaze still fixed on her father as he dropped the reins and eased down onto a large boulder near the creek. Seeing him wince brought words of caution to her mouth. She dug her teeth into her lower lip to keep them inside. Her father wouldn’t appreciate them.

“Are there fish in this stream?” Sean peered into the clear, cool water.

“Yes, but I don’t think there are any that you would want to eat. Most are too small.”

Joshua stretched his muscles. “Do you like to fish, Sean?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t gone fishing before.”

“Well, tell you what. I’ll take you one day and we’ll see. Sweetwater Lake is a great place to fish.”

“Can Mom come, too?”

“Sure.” Joshua flashed her a grin. “That is, if you want to. You’re welcome to come too, Shamus.”

Her father shook his head and waved his hand. “Never did like to sit still long enough to catch anything. Too impatient for fishing.”

Sean’s brow furrowed. “How long do you have to sit still? I don’t know if I can, either.”

Joshua’s wide shoulders rose in a shrug. “That depends on how the fish are biting. The place I’ll take you is a good fishing hole. Probably not too long.”

“Good. My teacher says I squirm too much in my desk.”

“I had that same problem, but I’ve managed to fish.” Joshua eased down onto the grass-covered ground next to Darcy and leaned back against a large oak.

Sean picked up some pebbles and tried to skip them. They plunked into the water, the sound slicing through the silence.

“It’s all in which pebbles you select, son.” Her father
motioned for Sean to come to him, and he began to instruct her son in how to skip rocks.

Darcy listened to her father’s patient words and marveled at them.
Thank you, Lord, for that
.

“Your father’s good with Sean.” Joshua took a blade of grass and chewed on it.

“Yes.” The word came out bitter sounding, and she immediately regretted her tone. Her own relationship with her father shouldn’t color her son’s.

“But he wasn’t with you?”

“I can count on one hand the number of times he was patient with me when showing me something.”

“Maybe he’s changed. Mellowed out.”

“Maybe,” she said with all the cynicism she had developed over the years in regard to her father.

“Was that why you stayed away all these years?”

She clenched and unclenched her hands. “Yes. I only had so much emotional energy.”
And I’d used it all up trying to keep my marriage together
, she added silently. “I know I shouldn’t have stayed away. I won’t again. I’m stronger now. I can deal with my father for a few weeks a year.”

“That’s good. Sean’s connecting with his grandfather.”

Darcy’s gaze found her son standing next to her father, intent on what Shamus was saying. Sean picked up a pebble, examined it and tossed it back. Selecting another one, he tried it. The flat stone skipped two times across the stream.

“Way to go, Sean.” Her father patted her son on the back. “You’re gonna be a pro in no time.”

“You think, Grandpa?”

“Sure.”

Darcy turned away, her throat tight. Feeling vulnerable and guilty made each breath she took difficult. The constriction in her throat spread to encompass her chest. Sean’s laughter echoed through the woods. With her eyes squeezed closed, she listened to the two men in her life and wished she felt connected.

Joshua laid his hand over hers. Her eyes snapped open and she looked into his.

“Ten years can make a difference, Darcy. Talk to your father. Let him know how you feel, especially about the past.”

“How do you tell someone you love that you don’t want to be around them?” Her question took even her by surprise.

“When I have a particularly difficult problem, I pray for guidance. You aren’t alone. You have me. You have God—”

“Ready to head back?” Her father approached with his arm about Sean.

Darcy swallowed once, then twice before she thought she could answer. “Yes. There are still a lot of chores that need to be done.”

“And a puppy to pick up,” Sean said, snatching his reins.