Gold in the Fire and Light in the Storm (10 page)

She pivoted toward her father, frowning. “I knew Tom Bolton was angry about his daughter’s accident—but to do what he did? I don’t understand.”

“Grief can make a person do many things they wouldn’t normally do.”

Darcy wondered about the tone in her father’s voice. He spoke as though he knew from experience. Was it grief over her mother’s suicide he was talking about? Or grief because her mother hadn’t been “normal” for much of their marriage? Darcy could still remember her mother’s highs, but especially her lows, which had become more frequent as the years passed. Why hadn’t her father been able to help her mother? That question she had wanted him to answer for a long time, but she’d never had the nerve to ask.

The doorbell chimed. Ignoring the pain in her head as much as possible, Darcy hurried to answer it. She threw open the door and smiled at the wonderful sight of Joshua standing on the porch. “It’s about time.”

“I’m only a few minutes—” he checked his watch “—okay, half an hour late. May I come in?”

She laughed and stepped to the side. “Of course. What happened when you went to see Tom? Why did he do it?”

Joshua held up his hand. “Whoa, Darcy. Let’s go into the living room and sit. You should be resting. It isn’t every day you get a concussion.”

“You just want to drive me crazy.”

Joshua waved his hand toward the living room. “My lips are sealed until you’re sitting.”

“Between you and Dad I’m gonna have more than my share of resting,” she muttered, making her way back into the living room and sitting on the couch. She knew they were right, but waiting for Joshua had taxed her patience.

“Good evening, sir. I see you’ve had your hands full.”

“I think she comes by it honestly. I’m not the best patient in the world, either.”

“Right,” Darcy interjected. “Okay, I’m sitting. Now, tell me everything.”

“I found Tom at home. I think he was expecting me.”

“Because I saw him.”

“His hatred for horses sent him over the edge. All he could think of was to destroy every one he could. The more he was around Crystal the more angry he got about her accident, to the point he decided to set the barns on fire. I think, though, your injury last night sobered him to what he was doing.”

“He didn’t have to drag me from the barn. He knew
I saw him, and by helping me to escape the fire he was sealing his own fate.”

“He told me the fires were about hurting what had hurt his daughter. Nothing else but that. He never wanted anyone to get hurt. That’s why they were always at night when people weren’t around.”

“Also a good time to conceal one’s movements,” her father said with a snort.

Darcy sighed. “It’s over. That’s the main thing.”

“What’s sad is that I don’t think Tom thought beyond his actions to what it would do to his family. When the police took Tom away, Tanya and Crystal were sobbing. I stayed to try and calm them down before giving them a ride to the police station.”

“Oh, my. What will this do to them?” Darcy covered her mouth with her hand, thinking back to the times she had talked to Crystal and Tanya. They both had so many problems—and now this. “Are they still at the station?”

“No, they should be home by now. Reverend Collins came down to the police station and was going to take them home.”

Darcy rose. “Will you take me to see Tanya?”

“Darcy, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” her father said, standing too, and moving toward the entrance as though to block her exit.

“She needs a friend right now and I intend to help her and Crystal as much as possible. In fact, I think Sean should come along and bring Lady to help cheer up Crystal.”

“But you’re the reason Tom is in jail right now,” her father said.

“I am not.
Tom
is the reason he is in jail. I want Tanya to know that I have no hard feelings toward her.”

Her father’s gaze pinned her. “But she may toward you.”

“I still have to try to help.”

Joshua came up beside her. “If I don’t take you, are you going to try to drive yourself?”

She lifted her chin, determined to challenge both her father and Joshua if need be. In the past she wouldn’t have, but she was discovering the power of standing up for what she believed in. And she believed that Tanya and Crystal needed her to be a friend.

“If I have to.”

“Then I’ll take you. Where’s Sean?” Joshua asked, touching the small of her back.

The feel of his fingers honed her senses to him. She liked knowing he would be accompanying her, because she wasn’t sure how Tanya would receive her. Joshua gave her the strength to do what was right.

“He’s out back, trying to teach Lady some tricks.”

“Lady is only seven weeks old.”

“Yeah, I know. She’s constantly moving. He has a hard time getting her attention.”

“She’ll calm down as she grows older.”

“I hope so.”

“I’ll get Sean and Lady. Stay here until I return.”

“Aye, aye, captain.”

Joshua gave her an exasperated look at the entrance into the kitchen. “I mean it, Darcy. No trying to walk to the truck by yourself. Guard her, Shamus.”

Her father chuckled. “Little does he know how useless that would be. Doesn’t he know by now when you’re determined to do something you will do it?”

“It didn’t use to be like that.”

“True, child, but you’ve changed since you got married.”

“No, Dad, I changed after Clay died. What you see is the new me.”

“I like it. What made you change?”

She held a deep breath for a few seconds before blowing it out through pursed lips. “I got tired of suppressing who I really was.”

“Who is that?”

“I’m a work in progress at the moment. But I do know I won’t keep my opinion to myself any longer.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

“Grandpa, Lady sat for me.”

“She did? For how long?”

“Maybe two seconds.”

“I think you need to work on that trick,” her father said, ruffling Sean’s red hair. “In order for that to work she needs to stay seated until you tell her to move. But I do like how she’s beginning to walk on a leash.”

While Sean raced ahead with Lady yelping at his heels, Joshua wound his arm about Darcy’s shoulders and led her to the truck.

“I can’t wait to show Crystal my new trick with Lady. When she gets her own dog, I can help her train it.”

“By the time she gets a dog, we may be back in Panama City.”

“Oh, I forgot. Well, next summer I can help her.”

On the ride to the Boltons’, Darcy thought about her home in Panama City that she had been painstakingly renovating—the first one she’d spent any time on in the ten years since she’d left here. Strange, she really didn’t remember much about her home and the plans she had had for it. In a short time the farm had become her home again. But the last time she’d lived here she’d lost who she was. She was determined for that not to happen again—even if it meant staying away from Shamrock Stables.

Joshua escorted her to the Boltons’ front door, his arm steady about her. She liked its feel about her. Comforting. Sheltering. Like the man.

Tanya answered the doorbell immediately as though she had been expecting them. She took one look at Darcy and began to cry, throwing herself at her. Darcy hugged the woman as she sobbed against her shoulder.

“I’m so sorry to hear about Tom. I wanted to offer you my help if you’ll take it.” Darcy patted Tanya on the back while Sean, Lady and Joshua went into the house.

“I can’t believe you’re here. I thought you would hate us for what Tom nearly did to you. I’m the one who is sorry. I should have known what he was doing and made him stop. Crystal’s beside herself. She has been crying all day and I can’t seem to stop. What am I going
to do? How will I be able to hold my head up in this town after what Tom did?”

It was Darcy’s turn to clasp Tanya against her and walk into her house. “You did nothing wrong. No one’s going to blame you or Crystal. I certainly don’t.”

Tanya’s tears continued to fall unchecked down her cheeks. “All I want to do is stay in this house and never see anyone. I can’t face people. I can’t deal with it.”

“Have you taken your medication today?” Darcy asked, remembering Tanya talking about how stressed she had been to the point of forgetting to take her medicine. From her own experience with her mother, Darcy knew that would only make the situation worse.

Tanya paused in the middle of the living room and thought for a moment. “No, I forgot.”

“That’s the first thing you should do. Then we’ll sit in the kitchen and discuss your situation over a cup of coffee. I can make some while you’re taking your medicine.”

While Tanya went to get her medication, Darcy walked into the kitchen and found the counters littered with dirty dishes. She saw the coffeepot next to the sink. After washing it out, she put some coffee on to brew, then set about tidying up while she waited for Tanya to return.

Ten minutes later Tanya appeared in the doorway, her face blotchy as though she had been crying again. “I’m sorry. I took one look at myself in the mirror and broke down.”

“Did you get your medicine?” Darcy asked, rinsing off the last plate to go into the dishwasher.

She held up the bottle, then opened it and poured one pill into her palm. “I know this place looks a mess, but I’ve been so preoccupied I haven’t gotten a chance to clean up.” Tanya took a glass and filled it with water, then downed her medicine.

“That’s why I’m here. To help. You sit while I finish up.”

“But you were just in the hospital. You shouldn’t be doing anything.”

Darcy motioned with her hand, dismissing Tanya’s concern. “I’m fine. Besides, all I’m doing is running some water over a few dishes. Not very taxing.” With the last pot in the dishwasher, she closed it, then turned slowly to face Tanya, making sure she didn’t move suddenly. Her medication was helping the pain but not totally. The scent of brewing coffee saturated the air. “How do you like your coffee?”

“Black.”

Darcy served Tanya her cup, then got one for herself, putting in several spoons of sugar. “The sweeter the better.” When she sat across from Tanya, she continued, “Have you got a lawyer to represent Tom?”

Tanya stared at her cup.

“Tanya, do you have a lawyer?”

The woman blinked, jerking her head up. “Yes. There won’t be a lengthy trial, though, since he confessed. He told me that seeing you on the ground in the barn last night shook him up, brought him to his senses. He’d never meant for a person to get hurt. He’s a good man. Really.”

Darcy bit her lower lip to keep from pointing out that
hurting animals wasn’t okay. In her mind she felt Tom had gone a bit crazy with his daughter’s accident. “Grief can do strange things to some people.”

“How are Crystal and I going to live? I don’t have a job. We have so many bills to pay.”

“As soon as you feel up to it, I can help you with a résumé.” Darcy took a sip of her coffee. “Also, Joshua and Sean want to build that ramp for Crystal so she can enjoy the backyard. What do you say?”

“I don’t want to be any trouble to anyone.” Tanya ran her finger around the rim of her cup, her gaze focused on its black contents.

“It looks like Sean and Lady were just what Crystal needed.” Joshua entered the kitchen and took the chair next to Darcy. “I left those two laughing at Lady’s attempt to roll over—or I guess more accurately, Sean’s attempt to teach her a new trick.”

“That’s good,” Tanya murmured, never lifting her gaze to Joshua.

Darcy caught his attention and shrugged. “When do you think you can start on the ramp?”

“How about Wednesday afternoon, Tanya?”

“Fine.”

The listless tone in Tanya’s voice worried Darcy, but she didn’t know what to do. While Joshua entertained them with a description of Sean’s training technique, Darcy prayed to God for guidance in helping Tanya. It had been years since she had turned to the Lord for assistance, but no matter how independent she wanted to
be, she was learning her limits. Since her return home, she was quietly discovering there were some problems only the Lord could help with.

Weariness wore her down. By the time Joshua was finished with his story, Darcy didn’t even have the strength to lift her cup. She had overextended herself today.

Joshua searched her features and frowned. He rose. “We’d better be going. It’s been a long day for everyone.”

After retrieving Sean and Lady, he escorted Darcy to his truck. His arm about her was what kept her standing.

“I’m gonna have to learn to say no to you,” he whispered close to her ear.

Her neck tingled from the caress of his words. “I didn’t leave you much of a choice.”

“True. But you need your rest so you can help Sean and me with the ramp.”

“If you could see me with a hammer, you wouldn’t even suggest that.”

“But I bet you’ll look cute in a tool belt.”

She laughed. “You stole my line.”

“Come Wednesday we’ll have to let Crystal and Sean decide who looks the best wearing a tool belt.” He assisted her into his truck, his hand lingering on her arm longer than necessary.

He stared into her eyes for several moments, warmth and friendship offered. Then his look evolved into something beyond friendship, and her pulse rate sped. Hope flared for a heartbeat, until she thought of all the obstacles in their way. She wasn’t even sure who she
was. How could she ask someone to love her when she was changing? How could she love someone when she didn’t know what she really wanted?

“W
e’ll need to go get the supplies, then pick up Sean at Jesse and Nate’s.” Darcy climbed into Joshua’s truck, looking forward to spending some time with him. The past few days, all she’d thought about was Joshua coming to her rescue in the burning barn or Joshua touching her on the hand or smiling at her with his whole face alight even down to a twinkle in his blue eyes.

“How are you feeling?”

“Much better. The headache’s only a faint throb, barely noticeable.”

“That’s good. Don’t give me a fright like that again.” His expression set in a frown, Joshua threw the truck into drive and pulled away from her house.

“Where do you suggest we get the lumber for the ramp?”

“The best prices in town are at Northland Lumber.”

“Isn’t that a new store near the renovated downtown area?”

“Yes.”

The clipped answer concerned Darcy. Was he still angry at her for taking a risk when rescuing the horses? Or was it something else? She twisted about, searching Joshua’s face.

“What aren’t you telling me?”

His frown deepened to a scowl. “Carol’s married to the manager of Northland.”

“Then we don’t have to go there.”

“No, I need to move on. I can’t avoid going to Northland because of my ex-fiancée, especially since it’s the best chance to get all the supplies in one store.” He glanced at her. “I’ve heard that Carol wants to return to Sweetwater Community Church.”

“And how do you feel about that?”

He gripped the steering wheel tighter, tension visibly moving from his face to flood his whole body. “It’s one thing to see the happy family occasionally, but a completely different thing to run into them every week at church, a place I consider my sanctuary.”

“Maybe she won’t attend the same service as you.”

“Maybe” was his tight comment.

Compelled to comfort him, Darcy laid her hand on his arm, wishing she had the right to do more. So many times he’d been there for her. “I know what it feels like to be hurt by someone you love. It knocks the breath out of you.”

“It’s hard to acknowledge you could have been so wrong about a person.”

“Shakes your confidence in your ability to choose wisely.”

“Right.” His hands about the steering wheel relaxed, the rigid set to his shoulders eased.

“I’ve been in your shoes. I know what you’re going through.”
I’m still going through it
, Darcy amended silently. She wasn’t entirely over her disastrous marriage to Clay. The effects of doubting her choices lingered and colored every judgment she made. She wasn’t sure that would ever totally change.

“I knew there was a reason I liked you.” He shifted his full attention to her while waiting at a stoplight.

Okay, she knew it was dangerous to feel warm and fuzzy, but she did. He made her feel special as no man ever had. Totally dangerous—their conversation about Carol only confirmed it. He wasn’t over his ex-fiancée, might still be in love with her, even if he didn’t acknowledge that to himself. Why else would he be so upset more than a year later?

Joshua parked in the lot in front of Northland Lumber. For a few seconds he just sat in the truck, staring at the entrance as though he expected Carol to come out and greet him. Darcy’s throat contracted, her mouth went dry. She wanted to help him move on for a purely selfish reason. She cared about Joshua Markham.

“Were you friends with her husband?”

His jaws clenched. He sighed heavily. “Yes. We
weren’t best friends or anything like that, but I knew him. We used to play on a softball team together before I got so busy I had to quit. I think that’s how she met him.”

“You haven’t forgiven her, have you?”

His jawline hardened even more. “I’m trying. Most of the time I don’t think about it. Lately I have been.”

“Why now?”

Switching off the engine, he shifted so he faced her with only a foot between them. “You. You make me think of things that I’d decided might not be in my future.”

The breath bottled in her lungs burned. “You know I’m as leery as you are of moving our relationship forward.”

“Yes. I know why I feel that way. Why do you?”

“My marriage wasn’t a partnership. I found myself suffocating. I worked hard to make sure nothing rocked the boat with Clay, and that can be very exhausting.” There was so much more to the story than that, but Darcy still wasn’t ready to confess all her mixed-up feelings to someone she hadn’t known but a month. She and Clay had dated for a year and a half, and look what happened to that relationship. “I’m trying to discover who the real Darcy O’Brien is.”

“I can tell you what I see. I see a person who is loving and caring, who is determined to do the right thing, who has taken a woman under her wing whose husband nearly killed her.”

The warm, fuzzy feeling spread from the pit of her stomach to encompass her whole body. She wished she deserved his praise. “I’m helping Tanya because she is
bipolar. My mother was bipolar and I want to understand the illness. As a teenager I didn’t.”

“So that’s the only reason we’re going shopping for some lumber to build a ramp? You could look the illness up on the Internet if that was all. Don’t sell yourself short, Darcy.”

He brushed a strand of her hair back behind her ear. The feather-soft touch curled her toes. “I couldn’t help my mother. Maybe I can help Tanya. But my relationship with my mother isn’t the point of this conversation.”

He arched a brow. “It isn’t?”

“No, we were talking about you forgiving Carol. The man I know doesn’t usually hold grudges.”

“I’d built in my mind my whole future around Carol. When she married Kyle, everything fell apart.” He yanked his door open. “We’d better get moving if we’re going to build this ramp today.”

Inside the store the tension returned to Joshua’s features. At any second Darcy was sure she would run into Carol coming around the next corner. When they left thirty minutes later, she hadn’t even met Kyle, Carol’s husband. For several miles on the drive to Nate’s Joshua still held himself rigid, but slowly the tension slipped from him. Darcy breathed a sigh of relief.

After picking up Sean at Nate’s, the three of them headed to the Boltons’. As she walked up to the house, Darcy wondered what kind of reception they would receive. With Tanya she never knew how she would be from one hour to the next—much like her mother had been.

Tanya threw open the door before Joshua had a chance to ring the bell. “You all are
finally
here. Crystal has been at the window for the past hour, waiting for you to come. Come in, come in.”

Joshua snagged Darcy’s look, his brows raised. Darcy entered while Joshua and Sean went back to the truck to begin to unload the supplies. Darcy greeted Crystal.

“I want to watch them work. Can I sit out on the deck, Mom?”

“Sure, sweetie. Be a sec, Darcy. I have some things I want to show you.” Tanya rolled her daughter toward the kitchen.

After only being gone a moment, Tanya bounced back into the room, a smile on her face and an almost wild look in her eyes. “Come on back to my bedroom. I can’t wait to show you what I bought.”

With hesitation Darcy followed the woman in the opposite direction from the kitchen. “I’m gonna help the guys with the ramp.”

“Oh, this will only take a sec.” When Tanya stepped into her bedroom, she swept her arm toward the bed. “They were all on sale. I couldn’t resist.”

Covering the bed were mounds of clothes with the price tags still on them. On the floor nearby were ten boxes of shoes. Darcy’s mouth fell open. She brought her hand up to cover her surprise.

“I thought I should go shopping for some new clothes for any job interviews I’ll have. You’ve got to look your best if you want the job. I so appreciate you
helping me with the résumé. With your help and these new clothes I’ll have a job in no time, and Crystal and I won’t have a worry.”

Tanya talked a mile a minute. Darcy had a hard time following her conversation. She blinked and tried to focus on what the woman was saying, but all she saw was the thousands of dollars’ worth of clothes on the bed—thousands of dollars that Tanya didn’t have.

“What do you think?” Tanya held up a red suit, conservatively cut, and a pair of matching heels.

“Nice, but do you really need all these outfits?”

“Sure. They’re perfect.” Tanya took a dress from the pile and fingered the silky blue material.

“Have you taken your medication today?”

“I don’t need that. I’m doing fine, Darcy. Crystal’s gonna have the ramp she’s wanted, the lawyer thinks that Tom can cut a deal with the district attorney because of the unusual circumstances surrounding the case. And the day is gorgeous. Great day to build a ramp. Let’s go help.” Tanya started for the door.

Darcy blocked her escape. “When was the last time you saw your doctor?”

“I don’t need to see a doctor. I’m feeling great.” Tanya pushed past Darcy and hurried down the hall.

Darcy stared at the bed and shook her head. A memory intruded: her mother standing out in front of the house while Hanson Furniture Store delivered several rooms’ worth of new furniture that they had no need for and no place to put. Her mother had gone to the store
for a new chair for the den and had bought thousands and thousands of dollars’ worth of pieces that her father had had to return the next day—after a terrible argument between him and her mother.

When Darcy joined everyone out back, the first thing she noticed was Tanya flittering from Crystal to Joshua and Sean then back to her daughter. The woman couldn’t seem to stay still. All her activity made Darcy tired just looking at her.

“Hey, I could use some help over here,” Joshua called out to Darcy.

She pushed away from the door frame she’d been leaning against and made her way toward him. His gaze flickered to Tanya then back to Darcy.

“Is everything all right with Tanya?” he asked, handing her some nails to hold for him.

“No. I don’t think she’s taking her medicine very regularly. She’s in one of her manic stages.”

“You think? I believe she could climb the side of the house and not blink an eye.”

Darcy peered at Crystal, who watched her mother buzz about the deck, constantly in motion but not accomplishing anything. The worried look on the child’s face reminded Darcy of what she’d gone through as a child, observing her mother’s bizarre behavior and not understanding.

“Sean, can you help Joshua over here?”

Her son finished stacking the lumber and hurried to her. “You bet. When do I get to hammer?”

While Joshua showed Sean what to do, Darcy strode to Crystal and pulled up a chair next to her. Tanya had disappeared inside the house. “How are you doing?”

“Okay.”

If the sound of Crystal’s voice was any indication, the young girl wasn’t doing okay. “If something’s bothering you, maybe I can help.”

Her brow wrinkled, the child turned toward Darcy. “Did Mom show you her new clothes?”

“Yes.”

“She got me a whole bunch of new outfits, too. I don’t need any. I don’t go too many places.”

“Maybe your mother can take them back tomorrow.”

“Maybe.” Crystal studied her hands laced together in her lap.

“I’ll talk with your mom and see what I can do.”

“Thanks, Darcy. Is Sean going to Vacation Bible School next week?”

“You bet. That’s all he’s talked about lately. Are you?”

Crystal looked toward the back door. “I don’t know.”

“Do you want me to ask your mother if I can pick you up and take you with Sean?”

Crystal’s eyes brightened. “Will you…just in case she isn’t feeling too well?”

“Sure. I hear at the end they’re going to have a talent show for anyone who wants to participate. Sean’s talking about singing. He says you sing well. Maybe you two can do a duet.”

“Me sing in front of people? I don’t know about that.”

“You might want to think about it. Sean’s planning on asking his grandfather to come and see him perform. He might need some moral support.” Especially if he couldn’t get his grandpa to attend, Darcy thought. She was afraid Sean was in for a disappointment when he asked.

“I’ll be there for moral support in the audience.”

“Then you can sit next to me and hold my hand, because I’m going to be one nervous mother.”

The child’s laughter rang out, the sound a welcome change from the tension churning in the air. “You don’t need me. You can do anything. Sean says so.”

Embarrassment heated Darcy’s cheeks. “I wish that were true. We all have our strengths and our weaknesses.”

Again Crystal’s gaze drifted to the back door. “Yes, I guess we do.”

Darcy wanted to take the young girl into her embrace and tell her not to blame herself for her mother’s illness, to seek help if she needed it. She wished she had.

“I wish I could go, Sean, but I’ll be too busy that evening.” Shamus spooned some oatmeal into his bowl, frowning at the cereal. “Why is the food that’s good for you so bad tasting?” he mumbled, plopping the spoon back into the serving dish.

“Grandpa, you’ve got to come.”

“No, I don’t, my boy.”

“But
everyone
is gonna be there. I’m singing.”

“I can hear you sing here at the farm.” Darcy’s father poured milk onto his oatmeal, his nose wrinkling.

Darcy’s stomach knotted. Sitting across from her son, she could clearly see his disappointment. He had been counting on his grandfather coming to see him. She’d tried to warn Sean that he probably wouldn’t, but her son wouldn’t listen to her. Her own disappointment took hold of her, forging a determination to have a word with her father after Sean left to do his chores.

Silence reigned at the dining room table. A heavy, taut silence. Darcy forced herself to eat a few bites of the oatmeal, but it settled like a lump in her stomach. She gave up trying to eat.

As soon as Sean finished his cereal, he jumped to his feet, then remembered to ask, “May I be excused?”

“Yes, honey. I’ll be ready to take you to Vacation Bible School in an hour.”

Without a word or look toward his grandfather, Sean raced from the room.

“Does that child know what walking is?”