Gold in the Fire and Light in the Storm (3 page)

A profound sadness and empathy edged each of his words and drew Darcy to him. “You didn’t grow up here, did you?” Darcy felt that she would have remembered someone like him, even though she suspected a few years separated them in age.

“No. Louisville. I moved here nine years ago. I didn’t want to live in a large town, but I still wanted to be close if my parents needed me.”

Darcy could tell from the tone in his voice that there was more to that story. Indeed there was more to Joshua Markham than merely being a firefighter. But she was only going to be here for a few months. With her heart still scarred from her marriage to Clay, there was no way she would open herself up to any more pain, to another man.

“Mom. Joshua.” Sean came running into the entry hall and slid to a stop a few feet from Darcy. “Dinner is ready. Lizzy made my favorite.”

“Pizza?” Darcy breathed a sigh of relief. Suddenly the atmosphere between her and Joshua had shifted and become charged with possibilities that she wouldn’t pursue.

“Naw. Spaghetti. It’s my favorite now.”

Darcy clasped her son’s shoulder and ruffled his hair. “You have a new favorite every week. I can’t keep up with them anymore.”

Sean blushed and leaned closer to Joshua, cupping his mouth as though he were imparting a deep, dark secret. “Anything Lizzy makes is my favorite. She’s a great cook. Wait ’til you taste her spaghetti. Mom, you should get Lizzy to show you how.”

“I doubt I could match her in that department.”

“Sure, Mom. You can do anything. Jake told me about the yearlings you used to break.”

“A long time ago. At the ripe old age of thirty-one I’m wiser now.” She placed a hand on the small of her back. “Just thinking about those days I can feel the aches and pains. Every once in a while there was one who didn’t like the feel of a bit and rein or the touch of a saddle and loved to show me how much.”

Sean’s eyes grew round. “Did you ever break anything?”

“Only my pride from time to time.”

“Maybe I can learn how?”

“Not ’til you’re much older.” Then in a whisper to Joshua she added, “And gone from my home.”

“Mom, I heard that.”

“Come on. Let’s go in to eat.”

When Sean raced ahead, she reached out and touched Joshua’s arm to stop his forward movement. The instant her fingers grazed him she pulled her hand away.

“Will you do me a favor, Joshua?”

“What?”

“Let’s not talk about the fire at dinner tonight. Dad may bring it up, but I’d rather not get him too upset.”

“Sure. I don’t have anything else to share about the fire until I get the lab tests back.”

“Knowing my father, he’ll try to pump you for information about your investigation. The doctor said he needed to reduce his stress level, which I’m not sure is possible, especially now with the fire. But I’m going to do everything I can to make his life less stressful.” Will that satisfy her father…finally? she wondered.

“Good luck. I’ve found if the person doesn’t want change, it’s nearly impossible to force one on them.”

“I know, especially someone as stubborn as my father. But that’s why I’m here this summer.”

“So in August you’ll be returning home. Sean said you lived in Panama City, Florida.”

“Yes, I’m a high school librarian, so luckily I could take the summer off to help Dad. This trip will be good for Sean.” She wasn’t so sure about herself, especially after the rocky start she and her dad had had.

“You haven’t come home much?”

Darcy thought of the estranged relationship between her and her father. “No, since Clay was in the Navy we were always moving, getting settled in at a new place.” She started forward, not wanting to go into the past. Going backward wouldn’t change what had happened and she was tired of trying to justify why it had taken a crisis to bring her home.

After they washed their hands, Darcy stepped into the dining room as Lizzy finished putting the last serving bowl on the table. The older woman turned to leave. “Why don’t you stay and join us for dinner?” Darcy asked.

Lizzy looked startled. Shaking her head she began backing toward the door. “I’ve got too much to do in the kitchen.”

“Lizzy, you’re part of the family and you have to eat.” Darcy inhaled the aroma of meat sauce, seasoned with oregano, garlic and onion, flavoring the air. “It smells
wonderful.” She sensed Joshua’s presence behind her, and a tingling awareness shivered down her spine.

Lizzy glanced toward Shamus, who was already dishing up his spaghetti. “I don’t—”

“Come on, Lizzy. Joshua’s joining us.” Sean took the bowl from his grandfather and spooned a big helping onto his plate.

The older woman sighed. “I guess, just this once.”

“I’ve been trying to get her to join me for dinner for years,” Shamus grumbled, a frown creasing his brow. “Always said she was too busy. We must have the cleanest kitchen in the state.”

“You’re welcome to eat in the kitchen anytime you want.” Bristling, Lizzy sat next to Sean, leaving the other side of the table for Darcy and Joshua.

Shamus motioned toward the two empty chairs. “Sit, you two. I’m hungry and this is getting cold.”

“I like cold spaghetti, Grandpa.”

“You like anything that doesn’t move.” Shamus picked up the bowl of salad but didn’t put any on his plate. He passed it to Sean with a smug look thrown toward Lizzy.

The older woman pinched her lips together and focused on filling her plate with the main course. She held her petite frame rigid in the chair, her movements jerky.

At the door Darcy twisted partway around to look at Joshua. “You can always reconsider eating with us. I forget how—” She couldn’t come up with an acceptable way to describe the stressful, tension-laden meals she
had spent with her father over the years. He was so set in his ways that he wouldn’t even eat in the kitchen when it was just him. Darcy was sure that for the past thirty-five years her father had eaten in the dining room and that was the way it would remain.

“Your father reminds me of my own.”

“He does?”

“Gruff on the outside, but mush on the inside.”

“Mush?” What was Joshua seeing that she had missed? Darcy wondered.

“Look at him with your son. He’s listening to every word he’s saying.”

Darcy glanced over her shoulder at her father. His gaze was glued to Sean, who was regaling him with details of the new foal’s first day. Seeing the attention her son was getting pierced defenses she’d built up over the years when trying to deal with her father.

Darcy moved into the room, continuing to feel Joshua’s presence close behind her. Had her relationship with her husband colored hers with her father? Even when Clay had been home, he had rarely shown any interest in Sean. Her son was starved for male attention, and that had provoked over the years memories of her own childhood: trying to please her father and never quite succeeding.

After she slipped into the chair across from Lizzy, she filled her plate with the delicious-smelling spaghetti and meat sauce, then gave the bowls to Joshua, who took the last bit. Her father and Sean had already started eating. Lizzy cleared her throat.

Shamus looked up, confusion darkening his expression. “What?”

“I would like to say a blessing,” Lizzy said in a prim and proper voice.

Eyebrows slashing downward, Shamus released his fork to clang onto his plate. “Fine.”

Lizzy and Joshua bowed their heads. Watching Joshua, Sean immediately followed suit. Darcy clasped her hands together, realizing they were quivering, and stared down at her plate, feeling her father’s gaze drill into her.

“Dear Heavenly Father, bless this food we are about to partake of and watch out for each one at this table. Give us the strength to seek Your guidance and the power to know when we need Your help. Amen.”

Darcy lifted her head. Her father snatched up his fork, grumbling something under his breath. When her mother died, he’d stopped going to church, telling Darcy that he was just too busy. She had gone with Lizzy until she had left home, but she had always been aware of her father’s disapproval.

“Grandpa, Joshua’s bringing Arnold here for me to play with. I wish I had a dog.”

“We’ll just see what we can do about that.” Darcy was about to say something when her father continued. “Every boy should have a dog.”

“Dad didn’t like animals. And when we lived overseas, it was hard to have one,” Sean said.

“Arnold recently became a father. The puppies are
five weeks old,” Joshua said as he poured ranch dressing onto his salad.

Sean’s eyes grew big. “They are? Can I have one?”

“A friend of mine owns them. I can check—” Joshua swung his gaze to Darcy “—if that’s okay with your mom.”

The full force of his attention was directed at Darcy, causing heat to steal into her cheeks. The urge to shift nervously in her chair inundated her. “I love dogs. That sounds great.” She crossed her legs, then uncrossed them. “But, Sean, you’ll have to learn to take care of your puppy. It’s a big responsibility.”

Her son puffed out his chest. “I’m eight, Mom. I’m big enough.”

“And we need to see about getting him a horse while he’s here this summer.” Shamus pinned Darcy with his eyes. “You had one at the age of five.”

Memories assailed Darcy. She balled the napkin in her lap, her nails digging into the soft cotton material.

“My very own horse?” Sean exclaimed.

“For as long as you’re here and whenever you come to visit again. It would be nice if you visited every summer.”

Again Darcy felt her father’s intimidating glare. She returned it with an unwavering look, though memories of never quite living up to what her father expected continued to flit through her mind, scene after disappointing scene.

“Can I, Mom?” Sean bounced up and down in his chair.

“We’ll see, hon.”

“Yes!” Her son pumped his fist into the air. “A dog
and
a horse.”

“Your mother’s right about taking care of your animals. Around my farm that is a must.” Shamus broke off a piece of French bread and started to reach for the butter.

“That isn’t on your diet,” Lizzy said, snatching away the butter dish before his fingers touched it.

“Nothing good is on my diet,” Shamus grumbled, his mouth puckered in a frown.

Before her father started in on what he couldn’t eat anymore, Darcy released the tight grip on her napkin and asked, “Joshua, what made you decide to work with a dog?”

“I’ve been known to take in strays. My captain knew I loved animals, especially dogs, so when this opportunity came up, he encouraged me to do it. Arnold and I went through some extensive training, but it’s been worth it.”

“Heard you helped solve the Wright case a few months back.” With narrowed eyes, Shamus stared at the butter dish sitting next to Lizzy’s plate and just out of his reach.

“Wright case? What happened?” Darcy watched the silent exchange between her father and Lizzy—a battle of gazes. In the end her father turned his attention to Joshua. Darcy’s mouth almost fell open.

“It was a warehouse fire in Lexington that spread to some other buildings. It was arson. We were lucky and apprehended the man responsible.”

“Who?”

“An employee who had been fired and was angry at the owner.”

“I came up with another name of someone you could check out,” Shamus said, lifting his water glass to take a big sip. “I’d forgotten I had to let Mike Reynolds go a couple of months ago.”

“He was your assistant farm manager, wasn’t he?” Joshua asked, peering at Darcy.

Did he notice the stiff set to her shoulders and the tight grip she had on her glass? she wondered.

“Yeah. I didn’t like his methods.”

“He’s working at the Colemans’ farm now.”

“That’s what I heard.”

“Dad, I think—”

Shamus swung his sharp gaze toward his daughter, a challenge in his eyes.

Darcy stiffened even more. “I don’t think we need to discuss this at the dining room table.” She glanced toward her son.

“Aw, Mom, I know about the fire.”

“You know, Lizzy, I have to agree with Darcy. You’re a terrific cook.” Joshua took another bite of his spaghetti. He wished he could ease the heavy tension in the room.

The vulnerability he glimpsed in Darcy’s eyes melted through his defenses. He found himself wanting to help her through the pain he knew she was experiencing. Her smile touched his heart, urging him to comfort. After Carol’s betrayal he hadn’t thought that possible, and was surprised by the feeling.

Lizzy blushed a nice shade of red, her eyes twin
kling. “You always do know just the right thing to say, Joshua Markham.”

Shamus snorted but continued eating.

Sean added, “He’s right. I love your spaghetti.”

Darcy slid a glance toward Joshua. Her smile reached deep into her large brown eyes, fringed in long, black lashes. The beat of his heart accelerated. He gripped his fork tighter.

“I agree with my son, Lizzy. But if I remember correctly, you make a great lasagna, too.” Darcy’s shoulder-length blond hair fell forward and she pushed it behind her ears.

With the conversation turning to favorite foods, Joshua sat back, watching the exchange at the table. The lively gleam in Darcy’s eyes made her whole face light up. He tried to picture her breaking in a yearling, but couldn’t. She was petite, not more than five foot two.

When Lizzy served sliced peaches and ice cream for dessert, Sean snapped his fingers and said, “I’ve got the perfect name for the new filly. Peaches.”

“Not a bad name, son.” Shamus frowned at Lizzy, who had handed him a bowl of peaches without the vanilla ice cream.

When Joshua’s cell phone rang, everyone shifted their attention to him.

“Sorry.” He retrieved his phone from his pocket and checked the message. Tension whipped down his length as he surged to his feet. “I have to leave. There’s a fire at the Coleman farm.”

Darcy’s eyes widened and she came to her feet too, her napkin floating to the carpet. “A barn?”

A new tension descended in the room. “Yes,” Joshua said as he headed toward the door.

“M
om, let’s stop. I want to see where Joshua works. Maybe Arnold’s there.” Sean bounced up and down in the front seat of the truck, pointing to the fire station at the end of the block.

“Hon, I still need to pick up some things at the store and there’s a lot to do back at the farm.”

“Pleease, Mom.”

Pausing at the stop sign, Darcy chanced a look at her son. The eagerness in his expression shoved away all her doubts. Just because she had thought about Joshua Markham several times in the past forty-eight hours—okay, more than several times—didn’t mean she couldn’t pay him a visit, then go her merry way. “All right. But we can’t stay long. And if he’s busy, we’ll need to leave.”

“Sure.” Sean stretched his neck to get a better look at the fire station as Darcy pulled into the driveway and parked behind the building.

“Hon, he might not be here.”

“He is.”

Suspicion began to form in her mind. “How do you know?”

Sean ducked his head to the side and studied the scenery out the side window as though fascinated with the brick wall several feet from the truck.

“Sean.”

“Uh—” He stared down at his hands fidgeting in his lap. “I called him this morning.” Her son’s voice was barely audible.

“Sean, you know better than to bother a busy man.”

He lifted his head, turning his appealing look on her. “But, Mom, he told me I could play with Arnold. I wanted to find out when.”

“That doesn’t mean you have an open invitation to visit him at work or to call him anytime you want.”

“Yes, I do.” His grin split his face. “He invited me this morning. Said I was welcome to come by anytime they were there.”

“Only
after
you called.” Darcy gripped the steering wheel and thought about backing out and escaping before anyone saw them. Her dream about the fire last night was filled with the image of the smoke and fog parting and Joshua walking toward her. Everything had dimmed except the man in the fire gear striding toward her with exhaustion evident in every line of his handsome face. Confidence had marked his stance as he’d come to a stop in front of her. His blue eyes had gleamed
in the early morning light, drawing her toward him—dangerously close.

The flashback to the previous dream made beads of perspiration pop out on her upper lip. Darcy brushed them away. What am I doing?
I have no business thinking about Joshua Markham in any terms other than as a firefighter and an acquaintance
. She started to switch on the engine and leave before anyone knew they were there. She would find some excuse to give her son.

Too late. Joshua waved from the door and strode toward them.

“See. He’s expecting us.”

Darcy wanted to hide. She felt the heat suffuse her cheeks as the man walked to the truck, a smile of greeting on his face. The first thing she thought about was the dusty jeans and the old worn shirt she wore. Why hadn’t she changed before coming into town? Why did she care? Her record with men was no good. She just had to think about her husband and father to confirm that.

Joshua stopped on her side of the truck, his face framed in her window, only a few inches from her. She rolled down the window and forced a smile to her lips. “Is this a bad time to come?”
Please let it be
, she silently added, even as she responded to his heart-melting grin, her pulse accelerating.

“It’s been quiet around here.”

“That’s good” was all she could think to say with
the man dominating her space, his musky scent surrounding her.

“Yeah, we feel the same way.”

“Where’s Arnold?” Sean asked, unbuckling his seat belt.

“He’s in the station. Come on in and meet the rest of the guys.”

Sean hopped from the truck before Darcy could say anything. Joshua opened her door, and she slid out, glad to see her legs would support her weight. Her son ran ahead while she and Joshua walked at a leisurely pace toward the building.

“I checked with my friend about a puppy for Sean. It’s fine with him. In fact, he can have the pick of the litter.”

“How much are the puppies?”

“Free. He just wants to give the puppies good homes.”

Darcy halted, causing Joshua to do the same. “What aren’t you telling me?”

He stuffed his hands into his pockets. “I told him I didn’t want the pick of the litter.”

“So Sean gets it instead. I can pay for a puppy. I know teachers don’t get rich teaching, but—”

“I wanted to do this for Sean.”

“Why?”

“I can remember my first dog when I was growing up. Lady was so special to me. I want Sean to experience that.”

“But—”

Joshua held up his hand to stop her protest. “If you
saw my house and the animals I have, you wouldn’t say anything. I don’t need to take on another pet.”

“How many do you have?”

“Three dogs besides Arnold, two cats, a rabbit and an aquarium full of fish.”

“Don’t tell Sean. He’ll be begging to come over.”

“I’ve never bought one of those animals. Either people give them to me because they don’t want them anymore or they are left in my yard.”

He was a large, muscular man in a dangerous profession, but underneath everything he was a softie, taking in strays. There had been times when married to Clay that she’d felt like a stray, wandering from city to city looking for a permanent home. She was glad now that she and Sean had one in Panama City. This spring had been the beginning of their second year there.

Sean stood at the door to the fire station, waiting for them. He hopped from one foot to the other. “Come
on
, Mom,” he finally shouted when he couldn’t contain his impatience any longer.

“Do you want me to tell him about the puppy now?” Joshua said in a low voice.

“You might wait until later or he’ll want you to leave your job and show him the puppy.”

“I’m off on Sunday. How about after church? We can leave after the eleven o’clock service, pick up something to eat for lunch, then go to Ned’s. Sean can pick out the puppy he wants.”

Darcy didn’t say anything for a few seconds. She’d
made plans to start going to church again with Lizzy. She’d gotten out of the habit when married to Clay. They had moved so often it had become difficult to find a place to worship where she was comfortable—at least, that was the excuse she’d given herself over the years.

“I’m sorry. I’m assuming you’ll be going to church while you’re home. I can meet you at Ned’s place if you want.”

“No. Lizzy mentioned something to me the other day.”

“You can come with Lizzy, and then I can bring you and Sean home later. I should have the results back from the lab by then and I promised your father a report on what I found.”

Sean danced around. “Mom! I’ve got to
go
.”

Joshua chuckled. “I guess we’d better get inside.”

“It was that pop he drank on the way into town.”

Joshua reached around Sean and pulled the door open. “The rest room is down the hall on the left.”

Her son shot down the corridor and disappeared into the bathroom. They waited by the entrance until he came out into the hall. He headed straight for them with determination on his face.

“Where’s Arnold?”

“Probably watching TV.”

“He watches TV?”

“Yep, I’m afraid so. Nasty habit he’s gotten into. The last time I saw him he was in the living area in front of the set.” Joshua gestured to the right.

Sean darted ahead of them into a large room with sev
eral couches and chair. A table that sat twelve was off to one side in a spacious kitchen of gleaming stainless steel. Arnold was where Joshua had left him, perched before the big-screen television set, his head resting on his front paws.

“He really
does
watch TV,” Darcy said in astonishment.

While Sean kneeled next to the black Lab, Joshua chuckled. “Like I said, a really nasty habit he developed. He likes the noise, and when a dog appears he begins to bark, which doesn’t always sit well with the other guys who are trying to watch the show.”

“What does he do when a cat appears?” Darcy watched her son rub the length of Arnold’s back, then bury his face in his fur.

The dog rolled over, his tail wagging.

“He loves cats. His best buddy is Ringo, a white male cat that found me about two years ago and adopted us. When we’re at home, they are usually inseparable.”

“Hasn’t Arnold heard a cat is a dog’s enemy?”

“Apparently not.”

An older man came into the room, Joshua introduced him to Darcy and Sean as his captain. When he left, another man, younger, entered and waved at Darcy.

“Joshua said something about you and your son coming to visit this morning.” Glen hugged her. “I haven’t seen you since right after high school graduation.”

“We went to school together since kindergarten,” Darcy said to Joshua, then turned back to Glen. “I heard you married your high school sweetheart.”

“Nancy and I will have been married ten years come this July. How’s your father doing? I’m sorry about the fire at the farm.”

“He’s the same. Thinks he can single-handedly do everything around the farm.”

“That sounds like Shamus. Well, it’s my turn to make lunch so I’d better get going before I have seven guys breathing down my neck.” Glen made his way into the kitchen area and opened the refrigerator.

“Sean, would you like to go on a tour of the station?” Joshua asked.

Her son glanced up. “Can Arnold come too?”

“Sure, if you can get him to move from the TV set.”

Sean leaped to his feet and patted his leg. “Come on, Arnold.”

The black Lab lumbered to his feet and nudged Sean’s hand so he would continue rubbing him behind the ear.

“I think your son has a gift with animals.”

Darcy thought of all the times Sean had wanted a pet and Clay had refused to let him. She thought of how her son had taken to the farm as though he’d grown up there, doing chores, helping take care of the horses and other animals. Her throat closed. She should have brought Sean to the farm sooner. For her son’s sake, she should have put her past with her father behind her. It had taken a crisis with her father to get her back home. But the minute she had stepped on Shamrock land, all her insecurities, doubts and guilt had flooded her, as though she’d never left ten years ago.

“Wait up, Darcy.”

Darcy turned to see her best friend from high school hurrying toward her from the back of the church. For a few seconds she lost Jesse Bradshaw in the crowd, which was not unusual since her friend was only five feet tall. Darcy stepped to the side to allow the other parishioners to pass while she waited.

“I should berate you, Darcy O’Brien, for not coming by to see me, but I know you’ve had your hands full with your father’s illness and the fire. I’m sorry.” Jesse Bradshaw hugged Darcy. “I’m missed you.” She pulled back to get a good look at Darcy. “You haven’t changed a bit.”

Darcy laughed. “I’ve missed you, Jesse, and you
have
changed.” Her friend had lost twenty or so pounds, and her long brown hair was now short and feathered about her pixie-like features. The only thing the same was her green eyes—clear and sparkling with humor. Darcy turned to the side. “This is my son, Sean.”

Shaking Sean’s hand, Jesse said, “My son, Nate, is around here somewhere. You two will have to get together. Darcy, I’ll call you this week. Let’s get together for lunch. I want to know everything that’s happened to you in the last ten years. E-mails just don’t tell me what’s really going on with you.” Jesse fell into line with them to speak with the reverend.

“There’s Joshua. He’s waiting for us by his truck. Come on, Mom.” Sean tugged on her arm.

“Joshua Markham?” Jesse asked, one brow quirked.

“Yes, he’s helping Sean get a puppy.” Darcy leaned toward her friend. “And that is
all
, so don’t get any ideas.”

Jesse held up her hand. “Who, me? Never.”

Moving forward in the line, Darcy smiled at Reverend Collins and shook his hand. “I enjoyed your sermon.” Out of the corner of her eye she could see her son dancing about.

“It’s good to see you back home, Darcy. Don’t be a stranger.”

Darcy pulled Sean to her side. “And this eager young man is my son, Sean.”

The reverend held out his hand. “I hope we’ll get to see more of you this summer.”

Sean contained his enthusiasm long enough to straighten and shake the man’s hand. “Joshua introduced me to a couple of the boys in his Sunday school class. One lives down the road from Grandpa.”

“That must be Brad Anderson.”

“Yep.” Sean glanced up at Darcy. “Can we go now? I don’t want to be late.”

After saying her goodbyes to Reverend Collins and Jesse, Darcy allowed her son to drag her toward Joshua. As they approached, Darcy’s heart increased its beat, aware that her friend was probably watching every move she made. She didn’t dare look back at Jesse and encourage her in any way.

Darcy turned her full focus on the man before her. The sight of Joshua in black slacks with a sky-blue short-sleeved shirt and a striped tie was just as compel
ling as the image of him in his fire gear or navy-blue firefighter’s uniform. The bright sun beamed down on her, but that wasn’t the reason she perspired more than usual. The warm greeting in Joshua’s eyes did strange things to her. Her stomach flip-flopped; her pulse quickened.

“Are you ready, Sean?” Joshua asked, swinging open the passenger door of his red truck.

“Yes.”

“I thought we would grab something to eat, then go to Ned’s.”

The wide grin on her son’s face fell.

“Or, we could go to Ned’s first, then eat,” Joshua amended when he saw Sean’s crestfallen expression.

“Yes!” Sean hopped up into the cab.

“I can’t believe he’s turning down a meal. That just goes to show you how important this puppy is to Sean.” Darcy followed her son into the truck, relieved she wasn’t pressed up against Joshua.

He shut the door and leaned forward, his head framed in the open window. “You understand, Sean, you won’t be able to take the puppy home for a few more weeks.”