Goddess Sacrifice (19 page)

River laughed lightly and shook his head. “Baby, if
only
it’d be that easy.”

“Well, I just figured you’d be obsessing about the whole prophecy thing.”

“Prophecy?” River’s smile faded as he looked at her seriously.

“Yeah, that I’ll be with you as long as Adin stays alive. I figured since I broke up with Adin to keep him alive, you’d be rejoicing.”

“I, er, I didn’t really think about it like that. I always figured something would happen to make Adin leave you. Not the other way around.”

“What?”

“Well, he’s bonded to Venus, and she found him. I figured it was just a matter of time before his bond became too strong for him to resist.”

“He doesn’t want to be with her!” she snapped.

“I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean anything by that. I was just trying to explain to you why I didn’t think about the prophecy when you told me you broke up with him.”

“You expect me to believe you weren’t thinking about how my breakup with Adin affects you? Give me a break!”

“No, baby. I mean, shit, of course I was thinking about that. I just wasn’t thinking about the prophecy…
specifically
.”

She sighed, shaking her head. “Sorry,” she muttered.

“Don’t be sorry. I know you’re going through a really tough time.”

She nodded and looked away from him.

“I wish there was something I could do to make the pain go away,” he whispered.

“There’s nothing you can do,” she said as tears started to form in her eyes.

He scooted closer to her, and their legs touched. “Let me be there for you.”

When she started to cry, River reached up and stroked her arm. Instead of making him stop, she just looked up at him.

“Legacy, I’ve been there for you ever since we met. I’ve helped you discover who you are, and we’ve helped each other with our changes. You’re my best friend, the most important person in my life. I know I haven’t always made the right choices, but everything I’ve ever done has been for you.”

“I know, River,” she whispered as she cried.

He slowly wrapped his arms around her and sighed as squeezed her tightly. “I love you, baby.”

She cried in his arms. No matter how much she hated the idea of this, it felt nice to have him hold her, comfort her.

After she stopped crying, she pulled away from him. River looked into her eyes and slowly slid his hand onto her cheek. His fingers were shaking, and he was breathing hard.

She shook her head and shut her eyes. “River…”

But he didn’t want her shaking her head. He quickly reached up to hold her face between his two hands, stopping her from moving. That quick action made her gasp as she opened her eyes to look at him. He had his head tilted away from her and his eyes shut. He sighed.

It looked as if he was battling with himself about something, but she wasn’t sure what. Then his eyes flashed over to hers with a look of pure determination. He wet his lips as he leaned in toward her.

Her hands flew up to his chest to stop him.

She was too shocked to speak, but when she put her hands against him, he shut his eyes tightly, and sighed again. Then he leaned his forehead against hers.

“I’m sorry. I-I don’t know what I’m doing. You know that I’ve always felt like you belong to me, so now I’m having a really hard time telling myself that you don’t.”

“I understand,” she whispered.

She should have kept her mouth shut. As soon as she spoke, River inhaled and moaned as he leaned his lips closer to hers. She tried to be still to give him a minute to win this internal battle. She knew he had been in love with her all these months, so he would have to figure out a way to cope with the fact that she still wasn’t his, even though he was now realizing that his competition—as he once put it—was gone.

But River kept easing his lips closer to hers. He wasn’t holding her head tightly anymore, so she shook it again.

He didn’t hold her head still this time. Instead, he gently stroked her cheeks and ran his hands into her hair as his lips grazed her cheek. She kept her hands on his chest, so she could push him away if his noble side didn’t win this battle. As he got closer, she started to push him back.

“
Please
. Please don’t stop me,” he begged as his lips neared hers.

She gasped when their lips touched, and River kissed her. She was too shocked to comprehend what was going on.

But River wasn’t. He kissed her softly, and he was trembling all over as his heart was beating against her hand.

She figured after everything they’d been through, she could give him this. She kissed him back, and he moaned eagerly. He was getting too into what was happening, so she needed to stop this.

She started to push against his chest, but somewhere along the way of that message leaving her brain to tell her hands to push him away, it got jumbled up. Instead of pushing him away, her hands clung to his shirt and pulled him against her.

River’s hands knotted in her hair as he kissed her passionately, but after a few seconds, she started crying.

She didn’t understand why she pulled him against her. It didn’t feel wrong—just different. But River wasn’t who she wanted to kiss.

When she started to cry, he pulled away. “Shit.” He rested his forehead against hers. “I’m sorry, baby. I-I tried to resist. Honestly, I did.”

She tried catching her breath as she wrenched her hands free from his shirt. Once she let go of him, River scooted back away and slid his hands out of her hair and on onto her shoulders.

“I should go,” he whispered.

“You don’t have to go,” she murmured through tears.

“Yes, I do. You have no idea how much I’ve wanted to kiss you, and now that I have…I don’t want to stop,” he breathed. He leaned over and kissed her forehead and groaned as he let his lips linger. “But I can stay if you’re okay with me holding you. I’ll try not to kiss you again, but I can’t make any promises.”

She leaned away from him. “Then, you should go,” she whispered.

River shut his eyes and nodded. He stood up and started to leave, but he turned back around. “Legacy, everything happens for a reason. You know there are no coincidences. Maybe this is just the way it’s supposed to be. I know it’s too soon for you to think about this now, but I want you to know that I’ll always protect you and love you.”

She pressed her lips together and shut her eyes as tears leaked over. “I know how you feel.”

“Maybe one day you’ll feel the same way about me,” he whispered as he turned to leave.

After River left, she felt more confused than ever. She knew she loved Adin with all her heart and soul, but she didn’t understand why she’d reacted that way when River kissed her. As she thought about it, she realized that maybe this was her brain’s way of overriding her heart. If she focused on River, then maybe he’d provide enough of a distraction for her to stay away from Adin. She didn’t love River, and she didn’t want to use him, so she’d have to make a conscious effort not to fall into that trap. She remembered feeling that she’d do anything to protect Adin, but using River as a distraction wouldn’t work. It would complicate things way too much.

Chapter Sixteen

The next morning, Lissa left early again, and Legacy stayed up in her room. When she heard a knock on her bedroom door, she frowned. She knew she was home alone. Neither Calli nor River had made plans to come back over today.

She sat up in her bed, staring at the door. “Who is it?”

“It’s me, sweetheart,” Adin whispered.

Her heart took off. She wasn’t sure if she could see him just yet, but her heart demanded she allow it. “Come in,” she barely said.

Adin walked in and shut the door. “I, er, just wanted to see how you were doing,” he whispered as he walked over to her bed, taking a seat beside her.

She shrugged. “I haven’t gotten sick again. I think being honest with you about why we can’t be together helped.”

“Understanding your reasoning has helped me too,” Adin whispered.

She sighed, looking away from him. “I’m sorry I didn’t explain it before. I-I had just found out about it, so I was still having a really hard time coming to terms with it.” She felt tears leaking over. “I guess I didn’t want you thinking I was capable of hurting you.”

“I still don’t think that,” Adin whispered as tears formed in his eyes.

He scooted closer to her, and she trembled. “You’re wrong. I
can
hurt you. I shocked you when you fought with River, and you got into an accident because of me.”

“Those were both my fault. I’m the one who needs to be in better control of myself. I can be. I
will
be.”

“But I can’t be the reason that you die, Adin. I want you to live a long and happy life.”

“I won’t live a long
and
happy life without you. I’d rather live a short and wonderful life with you than a long and miserable life without you.”

She shut her eyes and sighed.

“Sweetheart, after you found out you would be a goddess and would be in danger over the next year, you decided you needed to live your life to the fullest. If you were meant to die in a year, then you were going to live each day like it was your last.” Adin reached up and stroked her hair. “Why was it okay for you to live out your days the way you wanted when you thought you were the one who might die, but it’s not okay to let me live my life the way I want to if I’m destined to die soon?”

He had an excellent point, but there was one major difference. “Because you weren’t the reason I was going to die. I
am
the reason you’ll die if we stay together.”

“But we can’t live our lives in fear of death, Legacy.”

He leaned closer, rested his forehead against hers, and slid his hands onto her cheeks. No matter how much she wanted to do the right thing, she still loved him. Maybe if she was honest about what happened yesterday, he’d finally understand just how much everything was not in their control.

“River came over yesterday,” she whispered.

“I know.” Adin rubbed his forehead against hers as he inhaled her scent.

“He kissed me.”

He sighed heavily. “He didn’t waste any time,” he muttered.

“I kissed him back.”

Adin groaned as he nodded in understanding. Even though she didn’t owe him an explanation, she wanted to explain.

“I was upset, and he, umm, was comforting me. When I realized he was going to try to kiss me, I put my hands on him to push him away…but I didn’t. When I kissed him back, I started crying, so he stopped.”

“So he took advantage of your emotional state,” Adin whispered.

That wasn’t quite the response she was going for, so she sighed. “It doesn’t matter. We still kissed.”

“I can’t fault him for trying. I
know
what it’s like kissing you. It’s a very powerful thing,” he whispered.

Adin moved closer and rubbed his nose against hers. She breathed in his scent and whimpered as she exhaled. He slowly slid his lips to hers and softly nudged them.
Oh my gods, how in the world would I ever find the strength to resist this man
? His lips were barely touching hers, and she ached for him to kiss her.

“This isn’t fair,” she whispered against his lips.

“No, not being together isn’t fair. This…” Adin rubbed his lips against hers again, and she moaned. “This is what we want
and
what we need.”

“If I kiss you,” she whispered, “you have to understand it doesn’t change anything.”

“As long you understand pushing me away will never change how I feel about you or stop me from protecting you,” he murmured while he continued to caress her lips with his.

Who cared about all that? She’d been crying for days over this man. She knew she’d have to find the strength…
somehow…
to keep him at bay, but that didn’t matter in this moment.

She barely touched her tongue to his lip, and Adin lost control. He clenched onto her hair with one hand and pulled her up against him with his other. He kissed her eagerly, moaning while he breathed.

It’d had only been a week since they last kissed, but it felt like an eternity.

She clung onto him like she’d never done before. She held him so tightly while they kissed that she was briefly worried that she’d hurt him—but that thought quickly vanished when Adin scooped her up and dropped her to the bed.

He landed on top of her without breaking his rhythm. They kept kissing deeply while they were all over each other. When Adin moved his lips to her neck, she panted as she turned her head to the side, squeezing him against her.

When she looked over, she saw her broken roses in their vases that she had taken out of her trashcan. After the big display of trashing their memories for the sake of Adin’s life, here she was, giving in to her desires…undoing all the work she’d done last weekend.

“Stop,” she breathed.

Adin lifted his lips off her neck and sighed. “Why?” he whispered into her ear.

“Because it’ll be hard enough staying away from you without experiencing this too.”

Adin lifted himself up a little to stare into her eyes, but he stayed on top of her. “You don’t have to stay away from me.”

“Yes, I do,” she whispered as she started to cry.

Adin slid his hands under her back and rolled her over on top of him. That quick motion made her gasp, and he put his hands on her face, holding it up to look into her eyes.

“No, you don’t, sweetheart. I’m going to figure out a way to fix this. I’m not worried about you hurting me. I’m worried about you worrying about that.”

She could tell by the look in his eyes that he was determined to make this right. “Well, until you figure this out, we don’t need to see each other anymore.”

“I’ll think of a way to change your mind,” he whispered as he caressed her face.

“Then I’ll have to figure out a way to make you stay away.” Maybe she should use River after all.

Adin pulled her face to his and kissed her softly.

She groaned into his mouth, so he gently pushed her face away from his. “We love each other, Legacy.”

She sighed. “Adin—”