Sasha's Dilemma

BY

Copyright 2014 T.L Smith

Editor:
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Cover Design:
 Kari (
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Formatting:
 Dead River Books
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Cover Photographer: Laura Jane
(
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)

Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the above author of this book.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

To my mother, who has been my biggest cheerleader through life, and is always there for me no matter what. You have been both a mother and father, and for that, I thank you.

This is not a HEA

LOVE— it’s a common word that people take
for granted. As for me, Sasha Adams, I have seen that love isn’t
everything, though sometimes it’s meant to be. But to be
honest, I never wanted it. That has been my plan for as long as I can
remember. The only person I ever wanted to love is my sister Lola.
But then I met not one no, not even two— but three beautiful
men.

Dylan, the doctor, had his head screwed on tight. Josh,
well, he was a tattooed sex machine playboy. Then there was Brax, the
rock star. It was clear they all wanted my heart, but I wouldn’t
give it to any of them willingly.

Unwillingly, I fell hard, but there was a part of me
that knew he could destroy me. So I refused to give him all of me,
and now he’s returned and determined to win me back. But it’s
too late, isn’t it?

I never understood why Mumma always cried when one of
the guys she was seeing left her. She would sit in the same spot for
a week and not move, just cry and cry. But then, she met a
businessman and announced her plan to marry. My sister and I were so
happy for her. We didn’t like to see her crying all the time,
and now Mumma was always smiling.

When we were thirteen, we came home from school one day
and found her throwing away and destroying everything in the house.
When she spotted us, she turned around and pointed, “If I
didn’t have you two, we would be married now! But no, he
couldn’t take on two kids. He wanted someone with no
commitments. So thanks, girls, you just made the man I love leave
me.”

She left us that night and for two weeks, we had to look
after ourselves. During the second week, I saw Lola going through the
cupboards for something to eat, but came out empty handed. She turned
around and tried to give me her best smile, but didn’t quite
succeed. She walked over and grabbed my hand, giving it a squeeze.

“Lola, when do you think Mumma is coming home? I’m
getting hungry.”

“I don’t know, Sash, hopefully soon.”

We went to bed starving; we hadn’t had a proper
meal in over a week. Later that night, I heard arguing and tried to
be as quiet as possible when I opened my door to see where it was
coming from. I looked up and saw Lola standing there looking out her
door, too. We heard our mother’s voice and raced downstairs.
She was on her hands and knees begging the businessman not to leave
her. We stood there watching, until the man saw us and shook her off.
He turned and walked out the door, slamming it in the process.

I walked over and placed my hand on Mum’s
shoulder. “Mumma, did you bring food?”

She turned around and gave us the most hateful look I’d
ever seen.

“No, I didn’t. Girls, get back to bed.”

Lola pulled on my arm, took me back to her room with her
and stroked my hair until I fell asleep. I woke with a start when I
heard people rushing around in our house. Frightened, I ran out of
the room to find out what was happening. Men in uniform were
everywhere, and then I saw Mum on a table being carried out by the
paramedics. I looked at Mum; blood covered her wrists. I tried to run
to her, but Lola wrapped her arms around me.

“Come on, Sash, let’s get ready for school.”

“What happened?”

“Mum was very upset about that man not loving
her.”

“I never want a man to love me, Lola.” I
decided right then.

And that has been my goal for as long as I can remember.
I never want what my mother went through, so I AM NEVER FALLING IN
LOVE.

What am I going to do with her?

That was my first thought as I walked into our
apartment. The bitch has left condom wrappers and clothes everywhere.
Arghhh! I could kill her. Who does she think she is? Oh, that’s
right, my pain in the ass, bloody sister. Stuff this shit! She is
getting up, and I’m kicking out whoever she has in our bloody
room. I am not sleeping in there with her drunk off her ass and
playing hanky-panky with some dude I’ve probably never met (oh,
and she probably hasn’t either). She’s getting the fuck
up! I ain’t covering for her ass again! “LOLA! LOLA, GET
UP!” I scream at her.

Her new friend rolls over onto his stomach, oblivious
to my presence. Throwing a pillow over his head, he manages to
de-sheet himself in the process. Damn, that backside isn’t bad
looking. She always gets the hotties. I’m not complaining, it’s
nice to look at, but I need to study and she needs to get her ass up
and go to college for her first class.

Lola is studying to be a teacher. She is bloody smart
as shit, that’s what pisses me off about her. I have to study
my ass off, and she just breezes through like it’s nothing. For
example, she was out all night getting smashed and picks up some good
looking random, whilst I got to spend my Monday night reading
textbooks until I had to practically tape my eyes open. She says it’s
to help her relax, but I just call her bullshit.

We are in our third year of college, and she needs to
get her act together. There isn’t much of an age difference
between the two of us. She is twenty-two and I’m twenty-one. We
are exactly eleven months apart. Some probably think our mum was a
busy girl; well, indeed she was. I don’t have a close
relationship with our mother. She is always in and out of
relationships, and I’ve never seen her in a steady one in all
my life. Every time she had a man, we were always neglected. When
they left her, which they always did, we were to blame for it. It
always became our fault that her relationships never worked. She has
tried to commit suicide several times because some bastard broke her
heart. Lola and I are always left to pick up the pieces until the
next poor asshole comes along, which they always do. My sister and I
have been accustomed ever since I can remember to this cycle. I don’t
know why we bother anymore. She doesn’t care or takes notice of
anything we do. Some mother we have, if you could call her that.

I never want to fall in love, and I will never allow
myself to get as low as she has. Lola and I don’t have the same
father, and we look nothing alike. I’m sandy-blonde,
five-feet-five, blue eyes, not chubby, but also not a rake. I have a
booty and my mother’s DD cups. Lola is my opposite at
five-feet-nine; raven black hair, beautiful, white creamy skin, and a
perfect figure to match. It’s Lola’s eyes that draw
people in. They completely stand out against her black hair. She has
our mother’s eyes. They are a see-through, light green, and in
one word … enchanting. I’m pretty sure she captures men
with her eyes and doesn’t let them go until she blinks.

Lola looks up at me and tries to give a ’fuck
off’ stare. I just roll my eyes at her.

"Lola, you need to get up."

"No, I don’t. Fuck off, Sasha!"

"Yes, you do. Now get your ass off that fucking
bed and get up and get dressed. You’re gonna be late again!"

The guy lying next to her stirs, looks up at me, and
says, "Who the hell are you?"

"Sister, idiot. Now get out of our apartment so
she can get to class!"

I throw his clothes at him. He is still looking back
and forth, dumbfounded, like he can’t believe what I just said.

He finally gets his tall, sexy, naked ass out of bed.
Instead of covering up, he stands tall, morning wood for all to see,
and throws his muscular legs into his faded jeans. He pulls up the
zipper, leaving the top button undone, before openly saying, "Hey,
babe, next time invite your sister for some fun, too. I love me some
threesomes."

God, the nerve of this guy. I’m standing here
staring at this idiot, gorgeous idiot, but still an idiot. Honestly,
some of the people she brings home amaze me.

"You bloody idiot, get your shit and get out,”
I yell at him.

Lola rolls over and tells her hook-up, “Thanks for
last night, hotness." Lola adds with a wink. I don’t know
how she does it. I roll my eyes and slam the door shut behind me. Not
my idea of a great start to the morning. I swear, I feel like I’m
babysitting her half the time.

*****

When we finally get home from a gruelling day of
lectures and classes, I flop on the couch and Lola grabs a beer out
of the fridge and sits at the bar. “So what’s your plans
for tonight?" Lola asks.

"Working at the bar, and then coming back to,
hopefully, a quiet apartment to get some sleep."

Lola smirks at me. "I can be quiet, but I prefer
not to be." God, she does my head in. Arghh! I swear she thinks
we run a brothel.

"Well, you should come out after with us. Britney
and I are gonna stop by Chica's while you’re working and,
hopefully, go into the city after. What ya say? I’ll wait for
ya shift to finish."

"I don’t know. I don’t really want to
go out tonight, especially in my work uniform."

"Why not? You can’t even tell it’s a
uniform, and you haven’t been out for weeks. Please, please,
pretty please… You know it won’t be the same without
you."

She does this to me all the time, giving me her best
sad eyes and fluttering her long black lashes. It drives me up the
wall. I’m not like her. I don’t like to go out and get
drunk and high every weekend. Some weekends I prefer to sit on my
comfy ass couch and just read. Don’t get me wrong, I love to go
out, just not every night (like some).

"Okay, but you have to wait for my shift to
finish."

"Sure, no problem. I’ll have some drinks
with Brit while we’re waiting."

Well, Lola strikes again. Once again, she bats her
lashes and she gets her way. She knew I wouldn’t say no to her,
bitch!

The bar is so busy tonight, and I’m not sure if
I’m gonna get out on time. Hopefully, we die down in an hour or
so. Joe and Becca can close tonight. This is my part-time job to help
cover for my college fees and everything that goes with my degree. I
love working here. It’s an awesome job, and the staff are
friendly and a good bunch of people to work with.

"Any plans for tonight?" Joe asks while I am
making some shots for a rowdy bachelor party.

"Yeah, Lola, Brit, and I are hitting the city when
I finish."

"Sounds like fun," he says with an eye roll.

"Yeah, you know how she is, party, party, party."

Joe looks at me for a while before he says anything. I
look him over. He isn’t a bad looking guy. He’s tall with
blond hair that looks like he just got out the shower and ran his
hands through it. Muscle, but not too much, more like lean surfer
muscles and hazel eyes make him good to look at. He’s asked me
out before, but I’ve never gone there because we work together.
If things didn’t work out, it could get very complicated. Plus,
he is a ladies’ man. I don’t want to get messed up in all
that.

"Well, have a good night and don’t drink too
much," he tells me with his best stern voice.

"Yes, Father,” I say with sarcasm.

He just flashes me his brilliant smile and walks away
to let me finish making these shots. I hand the shots to the men at
the bar and they start their advances towards me. "Hey, honey,
how about a lap dance? I’ll pay ya!"

"Sorry, guys, wrong bar for that service. Maybe
you should go to the strip joint down the road." I nod towards
the door, trying not to lose my temper at these losers.

"Awww, come on, sweetheart, just one please?”
they all say in unison.

"Sorry, guys, I don’t want any lawsuits
because somebody slips over in your drool."

I give them a smile and walk away. I’m walking up
to the bar, and in walks beauty herself.