Read Geek Girls Don't Date Dukes Online
Authors: Gina Lamm
Tags: #Romance, #Literature & Fiction, #United States, #Regency, #Science Fiction & Fantasy, #Time Travel
Leah dusted furiously. Whoops. She’d almost forgotten
her charade. She’d have to be more careful when the
dowager appeared. Speaking of which, where was the
esteemed old dragon?
As if her thoughts had conjured the lady up from the
underworld, the woman herself descended the staircase.
“Wymond, my dear sweet boy,” she crooned in
a deep voice that made Leah jump. Holy shit, it was
an eighty- year- old Bea Arthur with a British accent.
Leah smothered her surprised laugh with a half- choked
cough. The dowager was tall, with a long face, pursed
lips, and jowls, just like the Golden Girl— down to the
mostly- salt- and- barely- pepper hair and everything. But who was Wymond?
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“Mother,” a soft male voice responded.
When Leah turned to see who had spoken, she
dropped the Dresden shepherdess she’d been pretending
to dust. The resulting clatter brought everyone’s eyes to
her, but she was still staring at the man who stood at the
bottom of the staircase.
Holy shit, it was the duke. The duke’s name was
Wymond. How could such a beautiful man have such a
dorky name? It was hard to tell which had shocked her
more: the fact that his name was so unfortunate, or the fact
that she’d called him a boy. He had to be pushing sixty.
She forgot about her supposed love’s unfortunate
name when the dowager rounded the bottom stair and
glared at her.
“You stupid, thoughtless chit,” the lady snarled, her
formerly regal face something that looked more like
Emperor Palpatine about to shoot lightning bolts into
Leah’s body. “You shall regret that.”
Oh holy crap.
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Thirteen
The clatter of porcelain on wood slammed a hush
over the entry hall, servants and masters alike. Miss
Ramsey winced and righted the figurine she’d dropped,
but the damage was already done. Avery’s anxious fingers
crushed the fabric of the greatcoat in his arms as if he
could crush the mounting tension in the room. If only
it were that easy.
How could she be so careless? He’d thought she
understood the importance of staying unnoticed in front
of the dowager.
Stealing a glimpse of Her Grace’s face, Avery stopped
breathing. The dowager’s papery cheeks were flushed,
her brows lowered, and her knuckles white on the
banister. This did not bode well.
She descended the last stairs and rounded the corner
toward Miss Ramsey with pure murder in her bearing.
Avery didn’t know what she’d do, but he knew it would
not be pleasant. He had to act— and swiftly if Miss
Ramsey were to outlast the encounter.
With only a small amount of regret, he extended his
leg toward a passing Tunstall footman. With his burden
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of gentlemen’s coats and hats, the poor soul never had a
chance to avoid the obstacle. With a surprised squawk,
he went flying and launched his burden directly at the
duke and the dowager.
Chaos reigned.
A dark blue greatcoat settled over the dowager’s
head like a net, trapping her beneath it. Frantic cries
came from beneath the billowing fabric as she fought
to free herself.
A cane struck His Grace’s nose before clattering to
the floor. The nobleman clapped a hand to his face and
screwed his eyes shut in discomfort. Maids and footmen,
Avery included, rushed to assist the beleaguered pair.
Miss Ramsey, Avery was relieved to note, disappeared
into the sitting room during the confusion. At least the
chit had the good sense to run.
“Who is responsible for this?” The dowager’s voice
echoed in the hallway once her maids had freed her from
the predicament. “I demand that you speak up at once!”
“Your Grace, my apologies,” the poor footman
stuttered. He was pale as fine bone china. “’Twas an
accident, I stumbled…”
The dowager’s rage was thankfully curtailed by the
duke’s interruption.
“Mother, your guests are waiting.” He sniffed,
pinching the bridge of his injured nose. “Come, let us
go in.” He dropped his hand and offered his arm to her.
With a scornful look at the hapless assembly of
servants, and an especially dark glare toward the unfortu-
nate footman, the dowager allowed her son to escort her
into the sitting room.
Avery sagged with undisguised relief. What a near
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thing that had been. Despite his careful tutelage, Miss
Ramsey seemed determined to worry him senseless.
A quick glimpse at the sitting room reminded him
that the evening had only just begun, and that his self-
appointed charge would have many more opportunities
to offend tonnish society. With a long- suffering sigh, he
ducked inside the sitting room door. If he were lucky,
perhaps another rescue would be unnecessary.
He tried not to imagine the next scrape she’d find
herself in.
Taking up a position opposite another footman, he
stood like a soldier at his post, hands clasped behind his
back, waiting to be called on. Scanning the room, he
exhaled a calming breath when he caught sight of Miss
Ramsey, who was, for once, exactly where she should be.
She, along with four other maids, was attending to
the spread of scones, biscuits, jams, and assorted other
refreshments on a long side table. Appearing to take her
cue from the well- trained Tunstall maids, Miss Ramsey’s
movements were slow and methodical as she set a new
pot of tea on the end of the table. She nodded to Harold,
another footman, as he fetched a sherry for a guest.
Avery took heart at the sight, stiffening his spine
against the sitting room wall. She’d avoided certain
disaster already today. Surely she could manage to stay
out of trouble now?
Gales of feminine laughter from her corner of the
refreshment table drew his attention. He gripped his hands
tighter behind his back. Damn and blast. Whatever was
she doing, speaking so animatedly to Lady Chesterfield?
He must prevent her from another catastrophe. Making a
quick decision, he lifted a discarded teacup as a pretense
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and crossed the crowded room toward them. The
Baroness of Chesterfield was known throughout the ton
for her mischievous, capricious nature. Best for him to
stand at the ready, in case of unforeseen circumstances.
If he survived this hellish afternoon without the chit
causing herself irreparable damage, it would be a miracle
sent straight from God himself. No one else could have a
hope of accomplishing such an impossible task.
i
Oh, she’d really fricking done it now. Leah clutched the
teapot as if she could yank the steaming brown liquid
back by sheer force of will. No such luck. It soaked into
the shiny green satin of the woman’s skirt, a large stain
that would probably never come out. Ever.
She didn’t know what had happened. She knew it
wasn’t really the maid’s job to serve, only to see to the
table, but when the woman had asked her for a cup,
she’d agreed without thought. One minute she’d been
pouring a cup of tea that the lady held out to her, and
then suddenly the cup was three inches further to the
left than it had been. The steady stream of tea had gone
straight down, splattering against the woman’s skirt like
rain pouring from a rooftop.
“Oh my God,” Leah moaned. “I am so, so sorry.”
Her hands shook as she put the pot back on the table and
searched wildly for a towel, a cloth, something she could
use to try to make this better.
The duke would kill her. His mother would kill her.
And if there were anything left after those two were
done, Avery would kill her twice. He’d tried so hard to
keep her from fucking this up.
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The woman laughed aloud, a sound that shocked Leah
to the core. What the heck?
“Oh, look at what I’ve done! I’ve spilled tea all over
my gown, what a clumsy fool I am. Dear, would you
mind accompanying me so I can put myself to rights?”
She held her hand out toward Leah.
Stupidity gummed up the thought gears in Leah’s
head.
What?
“Dear, can you assist me?” The woman smiled at
Leah, the ostrich and peacock feathers atop her hat
quivering sympathetically.
“Oh, oh! Yeah, I mean yes, of course.”
The conversation around them resumed as Leah
followed the lady through the room, past a shocked-
looking Avery, and into an unoccupied parlor across the
hallway. The woman shut the door behind them with a
click, then turned a serious look on Leah.
Sweat broke out along Leah’s forehead, and she stumbled
backward a step.
Better
get
talking
quick, girl, or you’re screwed.
“Ma’am, I am very sorry. I only looked away for a
second, and the cup was— ”
“Hush, dearie. We must speak before anyone follows
us in here.” The lady sat on the chair in the corner,
completely ignoring her damp and stained skirt. “I am
Amelia Florin, Baroness of Chesterfield. I noticed that
you have an odd accent. Where were you born?”
“Um.” Leah fought the urge to shove her hands into
the pockets of her apron.
Show
no
fear, Ramsey. Play your
role.
“I’m from the colonies.”
“Stuff and nonsense. The truth, dear, we’ve no time
for prevarication.” A fan suddenly appeared in the
woman’s hand, and she opened it with a snap.
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Leah gulped. “I’m from North Carolina.”
“And when, precisely, are you from?” She started
fanning herself, never letting her steely gaze wander from
Leah’s eyes. “I shall know if you lie to me, dear.”
The sweat spread from Leah’s forehead to her cheeks
and chest. She wanted to pull the tight neck of her gown
aside to get some air, but Lady Chesterfield’s gaze kept
her frozen like a tonnish Medusa.
“Twenty thirteen,” Leah mumbled.
The woman rose, a self- satisfied smile on her face. “As
I suspected.” She made a circle around Leah, who stood
ramrod straight, confusion locking her muscles in place.
“How…how do you…”
“My lady’s maid is a most unusual girl. She used to
serve in an earl’s household as a parlor maid, if you can
believe it. A certain Micah Axelby, Earl of Dunnington.
When he supposedly ran off to the colonies, she came
to be in my employ.” Lady Chesterfield patted Leah’s
cheek. “Muriel has told me the most fantastic stories
about a woman named Jamie Marten, and you know, I
am inclined to believe her. A young woman who trav-
eled through a bureau’s mirror in order to find her true
love. A bureau that has recently been purchased by the
Duke of Granville. Now quickly, before they know we
are missing. Are you also here to search for your true
love, as Jamie was?”
Hope and relief slammed into Leah’s forehead, and she
swayed unsteadily. Her yes came out half gasp, half laugh.
Lady Chesterfield grabbed Leah’s hands and held her
steady. “And do you need assistance in that quest?”
“Holy crap, yes. It’s tough to land a duke without
any help. But why would you want to help me?”
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Even though Leah desperately wanted to grab Lady
Chesterfield’s help with both hands and take off running,
possibly do some parkour down St. James’s Place, she
couldn’t help but be worried that this might be too damn
good to believe.
But the woman’s smile was as sincere and kind as any
she’d seen. “Because I’ve had my own dear husband,
and he was everything to me. Now that he’s gone, I
can amuse myself as I damn well please. And I like you,
dear. You remind me of a very young Amelia Florin,
and that’s the truth.” She pressed a delighted kiss to
Leah’s forehead. “Now, we must plan. Presenting you
into society will not be easy, but we can do it if we are
careful. Here’s what you must do to avoid suspicion.”
As Lady Chesterfield outlined her plan for the next
twenty- four hours, Leah’s excitement grew. Firstly, no
more chamber pot emptying. Lady Chesterfield laughed
when Leah offered to be a parlor maid in her house too.
Leah didn’t hide her relief at that. Everyone knew she