Forever Viper (22 page)

When I climb back into bed I notice a note on my pillow. I pick it up and read what Monica has written. She is threatening me with being force fed if I didn’t drink the cup of soup she has left for me. My stomach rumbles when the scent of the soup fills my nostrils. I don’t feel hungry but my stomach is telling me otherwise. I gag on the first sip, but I drink it, little by little, so I wouldn’t throw it back up. I must have drifted back to sleep at some point because I wake with a start when my phone started beeping at me. I'm a little frightened to look, because I am expecting Juan to contact me that way. I guess a part of me wanted it to be him too as I didn’t hesitate to open the message. I find a message from Lara instead reminding me it is my turn to open the café in the morning.
Shit, shit.

My breathing becomes erratic, my palms sweaty and anxiety shows itself by making my heart beat faster than a racing car in my chest. How the hell am I supposed to face Lara knowing what I do about Noah? I can’t stand there and not want to tell her the news, so I can end her heartache.
You’re going to have to lie and say you’re ill.
I didn’t want to lie but I did. I text her back and tell her I have sickness and diarrhea and she will need to cover for me for a couple of days.

When her text comes back asking if there is anything I need and to feel better soon, I punch my pillow. I hate myself for lying to her. I hate that I then text back and said I am being looked after and not to worry about me. Lies lead to more lies, and I didn’t want to play that game, but it seems I am stuck in a circle of them.

I wake to find it is 1 am when I look at my phone. I find myself patting behind me to see if Juan is there, but of course he isn’t. I had made it clear I didn’t want to see him. I'm hit with a sense of loss and loneliness, he is always there and now he isn’t. I choke back the tears and cough, my throat is dry and I need some water, which means leaving the room.

I drag myself out of bed. I don’t even bother putting my dressing gown on and I stroll to the kitchen in just my knickers. I don’t register the noises at first, I'm distracted in my own head, but my eyes soon take in the full scene when I stop dead inside the kitchen door. My eyes widen and my mouth forms a perfect O. Monica is spread out on the kitchen counter and I watch Hans’ tanned ass go up and down as he makes Monica moan out her delight. He sniffs the air and his head quickly spins my way, all his features widen and he stops thrusting his hips. Monica then peers up at him with confusion and realizes that I’m standing there when she twist her head to see what Hans is gaping at.

She didn’t show any signs of embarrassment, instead her eyes travel the length of my body, “Peppa you’re nearly naked and flashing your tits at us.”

I glance down at myself and quickly cover my chest with my arms. I know I should turn around and walk away but instead I blurt out, “Monica, you’re naked shagging on top of the kitchen counter, and I have to eat off that.”

They both stare at me and frown and start to detangle themselves from each other. I put my hand up which freezes them both in place. “Stop right there, I came to get some water, let me quickly grab one from the fridge. I have seen enough of you both for one night, thank you, and I don’t need to see any dangling bits.”

Monica giggles and I rush to the fridge to get my drink and then quickly run out of the room to hear them both mumble a sorry. I'm not looking where I am going and run straight into a hard body and drop my water. The figure standing before me bends and picks it up. My body shakes a little and my heart skips a few beats as I think it’s Juan, but then I realize I don’t detect the connection, so that leaves only one other person.

Saul straightens his frame and reaches out his hand, intending me to take the water from him. My face shows confusion as I suddenly think something is wrong as there is no other reason for him to be here, so I ask him, “Is it Juan? Is he ok?”

Saul tilts his head to the side and peers at me questioningly, “You do still care for him then?”

I take the water from him and unscrew the top and take a big swallow. I notice his eyes have widened and then he diverts them gaping at something across the room. Monica and Hans chose this moment to saunter out of the kitchen dressed and holding hands.

Monica nudges me, “You’re still flashing your tits Peppa.”

Oh shit
. My face flushes every shade of red and once again my arms cover up what shouldn’t be on display.

Hans hands me a blanket that decorates the sofa and I turn away from everyone and wrap it tightly around me. Monica is giving Saul the stink eye when I turn back around. I pat her on the arm and tell her to go to bed and that I will be ok.

Saul kept his eyes firmly focused on them until they left the room and then takes a deep breath. “Bloody wolves, don’t they realize how much they stink.”

I ignore his comment and ask again, “Saul, is Juan ok?”

He sighs, “Not really. He’s hurting, the same as Noah and yourself. I love my brother Peppa and he loves you deeply, but I will not let him throw his life away over some human, no matter if you are Entwined.”

For some reason Saul makes me feel guilty, and it must have shown on my face or I gave off a vibe. He puts his arms around me and draws me into his body. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for that to sound so harsh. I’m really worried about him. That’s why I’m here, he has disappeared and I was hoping this is where he would be.”

I shiver with fear as a chill sweeps through me. I can sense the hair on the back of my neck rise.

Saul must have felt my reaction as he shifts slightly and tilts my head to focus on him. “It will be ok, I promise, you all need space to deal with what has happened and I guess this is his way of doing that. He wouldn’t do anything stupid, he loves you too much for that.”

Saul’s phone beeps and he pulls it out of his pocket and reads the message. “Thank fuck for that.” He glances down at me and smiles. “He has turned up at Jade’s, I better go and talk to him. You should do the same when you are ready.”

I’m lost for words as relief and the comfort of knowing Juan is safe and has Saul and Noah to look after him floats through my mind. He steps away from me and says, “Let me leave you with this, and believe me it is true. Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting.” He nods his head and I nod back and he’s gone in a blink of an eye.

The next day I sleep for most of it. I'm awake for most of the night, my head full of the last couple of weeks. What hurt the most is Juan is the one who keeps me strong. He is my rock when everything else is crumbling around me. I even tell myself, I should have walked away that Friday night then none of this hurt and betrayal I feel would be consuming me.
You’re kidding yourself Peppa, you love those men and you know it.
I do love them but I don’t have to tolerate being lied to. I start groaning when someone starts saying my name and keeps telling me it is time to wake up.

I mumble and drool into my pillow, “Sod off, there’s nothing to get up for.” Water is splashed into my face and I sit up with a start yelling at the offender, “What the hell Monica?!”

My words are cut off when Monica gets right in my face looking very peeved, “I would shut up if I were you. Right now, I don’t know whether to kill you or slap you about a bit.”

Oh crap.
I scoot back out of her line of fire and rest my back against the headboard. She throws herself flat on her back on my bed, her arm thrown over her face covering her eyes and she starts to cry. Concern for my best friend leads me to crawl over to her and to pry her arm away from her face and wipe her tears away. Her eyes remain closed.

“Monica what’s wrong? Is it your sister, the baby?” She shakes her head to mean no and I let out a sigh of relief. I stroke her face, “I can’t help you if you don’t speak to me and tell me what happened.”

She takes a big breath and turns to stare into my face, “Hans is gone, he left. He quit the band for good this morning.”

My face scrunches up with uncertainty, “I don’t understand, we knew he was going to do that so why leave?”

She huffs, but a nervous laugh comes out to. “Probably because the man I love told me he is a fucking werewolf and my best friend knew about it.” She peers at me accusingly and I close my eyes. The bed shifts and I open my eyes to watch her push herself up into a sitting position.

“Monica, please, I know it’s a shock. I was the same when Juan told me. But if you love him, don’t let it stand in your way. He’s a good man. Just because he changes into a werewolf doesn’t mean he’s not the man you have fallen in love with.” Her body twists to face me and all I see is bafflement, I reach out and take her hand in mine.

We stare silently at each other for a minute until Monica breaks it, “Hans said I should speak to you, as you will know what to say. You should have told me about him and Juan.”

I shake my head, “There is so much I have wanted to tell you, especially about Juan, who is a vampire by the way.”

A look of shock crosses her face,
I guess Hans didn’t tell her that part.
“He won’t hurt you or try to suck your blood if that’s what you’re worried about and Monica it really isn’t my place to tell you about Hans, but I’m glad he has opened up to you.”

I watch as fear, confusion and then anger explode over Monica’s face and then inside of her as she pulls her hand out of mine and angrily pushes herself away from me and off the bed. My heart aches for her as I know the turmoil of Hans’ revelation will be ripping away at her heart.

She paces the room mumbling to herself, “We are told that they don’t exist, but here I am being told that they do, that my lover is a werewolf and yours is a vampire. How do you live with that?”

A tear escapes my eye. “It’s hard, especially now that I have two vampire lovers.” She stops dead in her tracks. The tears fall freely now, “All I can say is, if you love him, you will accept what he is. You need to ask yourself if you can look past the beast and see the man who makes you happy and loves you back, because he does Monica.” I break down then as my heart breaks for Monica and myself, we are two women who find ourselves involved in the world of the unknown and let’s face it, it’s pretty scary.

Monica’s arms wrap themselves around me and she whispers to me, “It can only happen to us two right?”

When we both take some time to think and get our emotions in check Monica asks me, “Peppa, what did you mean when you said you have two vampire lovers?”

That night I tell her everything. She listens, enthralled, taking it all in. I tell her about my reaction to finding out about Juan so I understand where she is coming from. I also tell her about Noah and Juan and why I had taken myself off to bed for three days. It is like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It is such a relief to let it all out. I didn’t realize the burden I was carrying, keeping it all to myself, until it was all out there.

She tells me she is in love with Hans and I beg her to talk to him. She said she needs some time to think it all through and I'm not going to argue with that. She also made me think hard about some things. She tells me it isn’t Noah’s fault and she understands why I felt betrayed by Juan. We both resolved ourselves to talk to the men in our lives when we are good and ready.

When Monica leaves I ask her to do something, to text Hans. She didn’t have to say much even if it is just, ‘I’m thinking about you.’ It will mean Hans won't feel alone right now. My phone beeps and I find I have a few messages waiting for me. There are a couple from Lara asking if I felt better and if I will be going into work tomorrow. There is another one from her, telling me the press is everywhere and she is rushed off her feet. I feel like a bitch, but I still can’t face her. I know it is late and she will get my text in the morning, but I tell her I am really sorry and that I needed another day.

The last message sends a thrill through me and causes my heart to speed up and my body to shake with a little trepidation. I swallow as my mouth has dried up of saliva and with a shaking finger I press the button so I can read the message.

My darling Peppa, I’m always thinking of you and I know you are hurting right now. I respect your wishes to be left alone. Please know that I’m here when you feel you are ready to talk. I want you to know that I will never stop loving you, even if you can’t find it in your heart to forgive us. My soul is yours always. We both miss and love you. Come back to us soon. xxx

My fingers trace the kisses that Noah has left and a tear splashes on the screen. I wipe it off and read his message again and I make a decision.

My mood slightly shifts the next day, I feel more human, and I’m ready to face one of my men and talk. I just wish I didn’t have to wait until sunset to do it. I manage to eat, or rather drink, some soup. I try to distract myself by cleaning, watching TV and exploring the big World Wide Web. It’s when I’m come across the list for the private hospitals that I remember Detective Payne and I decide to ring him. I wanted to make sure he is ok after what Juan did and I need to keep up the pretence that I’m still the upset girlfriend wondering where her beloved boyfriend is. I bite my fingernails out of nervousness while I wait for the call to go through.

I’m put through to the front desk where I ask to speak to the Detective. I’m told to hang on the line and when the female voice comes again, I’m told very bluntly that there is no new information and that Detective Payne is busy on another case and will phone if anything changes.
Well that told me.
A part of me is a little disappointed that he wouldn’t talk to me, but deep down, I know it is better that way.

I decide to take a bath, it has been a couple of days and I can’t leave the house looking like a scarecrow that has been out in a tornado. I stare at myself in the mirror and I swear I have aged as I have gained a couple more crow’s feet, and the dark circles under my eyes don’t help. I brush my hair and leave it down. I start to put some make up on but decide against it. I can’t hide behind that mask. I grab the nearest hanger in the wardrobe and end up wearing one of the dresses Noah bought me.