Forever Viper (33 page)

When he arrives he isn’t alone. I'm stupid enough to think he will be. Noah rushes over, and sits down next to me, throws his arms around me and cries. Saul sits on the other side of me and asked, “Is this what you really want Juan?”

I can’t look at him, but I give him an answer, “I’ve fucked up Saul. I can’t watch Noah go through what you did with the blood lust, which nearly killed me. His mother turned her back on him tonight did he tell you that? I can’t take away everything that has happened to Peppa since we met, but I can stop her from going through more.”

Noah can’t control the anger that he feels and he pushes himself away from me. I'm expecting more, but he just sits there. “And what about me, Cruz and Viper? Do we mean that little to you?”

I turn to peer at Cruz, who sits just behind us. He stares back at me unhappily and his voice breaks into sobs as he says, “Please don’t do this.”

I then gaze back at Saul who also lets the tears fall, but he can see nothing is getting through to me as I say, “You don’t need me, you have Jade and Cruz will have Lara.”

Noah's voice comes next, “What did you just say about Lara and Cruz? She isn’t with him.”

I turn to peer at Noah, “No, she isn’t, because Cruz is fighting his instincts. Noah, there is nothing you can do about it, Lara is Cruz’s Entwined.”

He shakes his head and says, “You don’t deserve her Cruz, but all I ask is you look after her and love her.”

Saul ignores all this and continues where I left off, “I may have Jade, but I also need my brother. I can understand tonight might have pushed you too far, added to your guilt over Peppa and what that has cost you. Please Juan, whatever you have going on inside your head, there is a way back. Look at Noah, Juan! Does he look crazed to you? The blood lust hasn’t claimed him. Imagine what you will put Peppa through when she finds out you are gone. You are going to break her heart.”

I shake my head “No, she will get over it and Noah will be by her side.”

I feel Noah’s rage and he gets in my face, “You selfish fucking bastard. Do you know Peppa at all? Do you even know me? How the hell are we supposed to get over losing you? We love you Juan. The thing with you is you take everything on yourself. You let the guilt grow and grow inside of you until it has nowhere to go. And look what’s happened Juan. Boom, it’s blown-up in your face. Get some balls and face this head on. Talk to me Juan.”

I lose my temper then, “Talk to you, you want me to talk? You fucking killed someone Noah, in front of Peppa too. I had to feed his flesh to pigs to hide this from the world. I could have lost you both and I had to watch Peppa throw her guts up and weep because she knows we had to get rid of a body. I have brought this upon us all and it’s ripped me apart Noah.”

Noah backs away and takes a seat at my side, “You know, that’s where you are wrong. Jacob caused this, not you. Yes, I killed, but I know if he had snapped Peppa’s neck, you would have killed the fucker too. So you know what, you stubborn asshole, if you want to see the sun then I will see it with you.”

My eyes widen with shock and I turn to gape at him. It’s then I notice Saul and Cruz have moved away from us. “You can’t do that Noah that will kill Peppa. She will have no one then.”

He huff’s, “You don’t get it do you? Losing you is going to kill Peppa. Why can you not see that? Do you love her Juan?”

I frown at his question, because he knows I do and that’s when I stop talking as images of Peppa enter my head. My mind takes me back to the Friday night we first met. Her eyes were the first thing I noticed about her. Then I have an image of her laughing and then the first time we made love. Images keep flashing in my head and then I sense her and know she is close. I’m angry at Saul for bringing her here. I didn’t want Peppa to see me like this but then I hear his words to her and I detect something, a flicker of remorse maybe, that I’ve made my brother beg for my life.

Oh fuck, the pain registers then. I sense her fear and Noah’s comes alive too.
Had I blocked it? Had I switched off completely that I didn’t sense them anymore?
I ask myself those questions. I know I felt Noah’s anger, but was I ignoring his pain? Then out of the blue it comes to me, it’s because when the three of us are together, we are stronger. She sits down between us and starts a conversation and I’m struck with an image she puts in my head of Noah and I burning. My eyes dart around the horizon as I start to wonder if I can let the woman I love, who says she worships us, watch Noah and I scream in agony and disappear in front of her eyes? I think back to the time I watched my family die in front of me and how much Saul suffered losing his Entwined.

I tried to explain to her that I'm scared that I'm to blame for all the shit that has happened and yet again, I detect a flicker of something as she makes me question a few things. She has been through so much tonight, but here she sits, a human who is so strong and I'm a fucking vampire who feels so weak.

When she asks me what was the point in saving her if I'm going to kill myself, I can sense myself crawling back up through the black hole I have created, because yes, I love her and I know from that statement that she still loves me. But yet, I still questioned it, because I needed something else from her and I didn’t know how to ask for it so I said the one thing I shouldn’t have.

That flicker I felt before turns into hope as Peppa attacks me with her fists and begs me not to leave her. I realize then I want to stay and my emotions rocket at that. I cry while saying Peppa’s name over and over again. The beating stops and Noah surprises me as he gives me food for thought and does the one thing he said he would never do, he walks away. I don’t know how to react to that, but I sense everything Peppa does as she collapsed on top of me and I put my arms around her.

What she does next blows my world apart. Peppa brings me back from the brink by letting me see her fear, her love and then finally her forgiveness. She goes on to explain that Noah’s letters helped her and although she forgave me, she wasn’t forgetting it. That part will take time. She let me know that to move on I have to change a few things and the biggest thing for me is when she said I'm not alone in this, because that’s exactly how I have been feeling. This woman amazes me and brings me to tears. I guess for my own sanity I need to hear her say the words again and I ask if she can forgive and move on.

What she does next astounds me. Just like Noah, she offers me a future and she leaves me and walks away from me to work out if I want it enough. It’s what I have always wanted so there isn’t much to think about. They are offering and I am going to take them up on it. Peppa will never know what she did for me tonight and I will never let her down again ever. I pick myself up off the ground and I stare up at the stars. There will be no more lies from me, no secrets that will go untold. My strength will come from my Entwined and if that means talking to them, I’m willing to do that. We will get past this as I want that future Noah described and I will do anything to have it.

I rush over to Peppa, take her into my arms and kiss her. It’s a kiss of need, want and desperation, but most of all, it’s a kiss that says thank you. I say the corniest thing ever and let her know that she and Noah are my future and she will be able to trust me again.

The moment is broken by Saul and I know I need a word with him. So after Peppa enters the car, I pull Saul into my arms. “I’m so sorry. I could hear everything you were saying, but nothing was getting through to me. I love you Saul, I was so scared I was going to lose Noah like I nearly lost you and then I make you go through this. Forgive me.”

His arms tighten around me and he says, “I forgive you. I love you too you idiot. You didn’t make me go through anything. I will always be here for you.”

Cruz strolls over and throws his arms around us both, “I’m glad you’ve come to your senses, but can we please make a move, dawn is coming.”

I kiss Saul on the forehead and I do the same to Cruz, “Yes, let’s get out of here.”

Saul slaps me on the back and opens the car door and Cruz does the same, but he can’t help being his sarcastic self as he mentions the O2 and needing a drummer. The first thing I do when I get into the car is hold onto my Entwined and let them both know how sorry I am for putting them through this. I really don’t know how he does it but Cruz soon has us laughing. We all needed it after the night we've had. I also found out that Cruz visited Detective Payne and Noah let everyone know what happened with his parents and I confirmed they all thought Jacob has had enough and left for a better life.

Everyone stares at me when Saul asks what I did with Jacob’s body. I shock them all when I tell them about Dolly and that it won’t be long before he will be manure for a farmer’s crops. Settling down for the day in the arms of both my lovers is a feeling I never thought would happen again. I'm beyond fortunate that Peppa has given me a second chance. I am never going to let her down again. I guess Noah felt the same way and he said something neither of us expected, even though I know he meant it. I reassured Peppa, well I’m not sure if I did, but I tell her a proposal was in the future and it will come from us both. I'm fighting the sleep, because I need to let her know she saved me and I finally succumb to the sun, but I am where I belonged with the two thirds of our whole.

Chapter 20 (NOAH)

I'm fucking fuming, I have practiced the speech I intended for my father over and over again. I even find a head space where I refrained from talking to Juan so I didn’t lose my train of thought. To then find out, when we get there, that the stupid humans are surrounding the building I want to enter, pissed me off big time. With all the blood just a mile away, it is no surprise my blood lust showed itself. I did what I usually do, I slowly count to twenty and think of Juan’s dick as something else I can suck on instead. What made it worse is I then have to text Peppa, after promising to get it sorted, that it will have to happen tomorrow instead. I didn’t like letting her down and I have to hope my father stayed away from her until I could get to him.

As the owner of Devil Records, I know the ins and outs of the music business and with that in mind, I have a sneaky way of getting rid of the press and fans. All it took was a phone call and to plant a seed, so to speak, and lunchtime tomorrow they would be on their way to a certain hotel thinking Hans and Viper were in there signing a deal.

The next night Juan turns up and I feed from him. He asks me if I know what I want to say. I did to a certain point, but who knows how much my father will push me? I explain to him that I will try and refrain from letting him know I’m a vampire, I know that had to be kept hush hush. I also tell him he should listen in, in case I mess up and lose my cool. I ask too, if he can pick up on what I say so he knows what to use when his mind control comes into play. At the end of the day, I know Juan will have to wipe some things from my father’s mind and also add some. Now that that is sorted it is time to face the man in question.

I'm so focused on myself, that when I feel her through the connection, it stops me dead in my tracks. She is so fucking close, within reach, but I have to focus on the task ahead. I'm doing this for her, this is all for Peppa. After a bit of fun getting up to my office, I stand in front of the door with my name written on it. My nerves get the better of me as I hear my sister and father talking behind the door. A part of me is concerned that I can lose my family because of this.

The door opens and Lara dives on me, cries in my arms and then cries some more. I love my sister and I know she must be happy to see me, but bloody hell there is only so much I can take. Juan takes her away and I’m left with the man who raised me, a man I love, but have no respect for. “I thought I would at least be welcomed back into the fold with a, ‘Noah, you're alive and well, it’s so good to see you son.’

My father points to the door gaping, confused, and blinks a few times, shaking his head, trying to work out what he just witnessed, but nothing he can come up with will be what the truth is. His eyes find mine and he frowns and anger crosses his face, “Where the hell have you been? Have you any idea what you have put us all through?”

I storm over to him to stand in front of my desk, “Yes, I can imagine and I’m sorry about that.”

His face turns red and he slaps his hands down on the desk, “Sorry! Is that all you have to say? Where the fuck have you been Noah?”

My hands come down to rest on the same desk. I lean my body towards him and sneer, “You couldn’t handle the truth if I told you, so all you need to know is that I gained consciousness that night and a friend helped to get me out of there. I needed time away father, because you see, work was getting too much for me and I checked myself into a private hospital to recover from depression.”

He rubs a hand down his face trying to make sense of what I’m saying, “Noah, your mother has cried for you every day thinking you are dead. You at least owe me the truth, not some cock and bull story that you want me to believe.”

I laugh, “Donald, the truth would kill you. I will only tell you that that man out there...” I point to the door, “saved me in more ways than you will ever know. I love him and Peppa, they are my life.”

He huffs, “So, I am right about that bitch, she hid you away from us and lied to us all. I will never accept that cunt into our family. Do you hear me? What about Juan? Was he in on it to?”

My fists clench together in rage and my control is hanging on by a thread. “I tried everything to get rid of that bitch…”

He doesn’t get to finish his sentence. Within a blink of his hateful eyes, I have him pinned to the wall, fangs bared and ready to strike. I hiss into his face, “This is your truth father.”

I watch as the blood drain from his face, and a smell of ammonia fills my nostrils as my father pisses himself. “As you can see, I am no longer human and your petty brain will have trouble taking the fact in that a vampire is in your face. But right now, I don’t give a flying fuck, because shortly, you won’t remember anything.” I move away from him and he slumps to the floor and I take a seat in my chair. He stares at me. His features are wide in shock, so I decide to retract my fangs and appear normal again. I wanted to scare my father but not kill him, he has to realize he can’t carry on treating Peppa the way he has.