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Authors: Shana Burton

BOOK: Flaws and All
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Chapter 37
“If a man slaps me, it's a part of the foreplay.”
—
Sullivan Webb
 
Sullivan looked over her shoulder from her seat on the front pew. She hadn't spoken to Lawson, Angel, or Kina since the disastrous dinner a week prior. Even if they weren't speaking to her, she still wanted to know that they were there.
“I want to thank the choir for that beautiful selection,” boomed Charles's voice from the pulpit. “And like they said, just a little talk with Jesus makes it right!” The congregation shouted in agreement. Charles cleared his throat. “You know, I usually don't bring politics to the pulpit, but as most of you know, I'm running for county commissioner. The general election is next Tuesday, and I'm facing the run-off on December first against my opponent, Willie Tucker. With the election being so close, I felt compelled to come up here and tell you all what's been on my heart. Is that all right?” The “amens” and applause told him it was.
“Over the past few weeks, there's been a lot of talk around here about political agendas and campaign supporters, but there's one person who's always supported me and always had my back with absolutely no hidden agendas. She's my anchor, my rock. Honestly, without her, I don't think I would have made it this far. I want to take the opportunity right now to invite her to come up here and stand by my side as my partner in this election, as well as the rest of my life. I love you, Sullivan. Now, bring your pretty self on up here!” A thunderous applause erupted from the crowd. Sullivan timidly made her way next to Charles.
“I know that I haven't given you all of the attention and accolades you deserve, but I thank you. You've been so patient and loyal, and you've proven that I can trust you with the thing closest to me—my heart. You've never let me down, and you've always been honest with me, even when you thought what you had to say might hurt or disappoint me. It's my great honor to have you as First Lady of this church and the only lady in my life. I just wanted to say in front of the world how much you mean to me.”
The guilt that Sullivan had so cleverly avoided for the duration of her affair with Vaughn submerged her with full force, drowning her in lies and betrayal. She was none of those words that Charles had used so eloquently to describe his idea of her. She was a liar and a cheater. She was selfish, and she didn't deserve his praise any more than she deserved to be standing there next to him. The shame she felt was almost crippling.
“Baby, is there anything you want to say?” He passed Sullivan the microphone.
She looked down at the smiling, eager faces, not knowing what words would come tumbling from her lips. She cleared her throat. “I don't know if I'm worthy of all those things you said, but thank you.” She handed the microphone back to him.
“Aw, come on, baby, you can do better than that. We all know you ain't shy!” The congregation laughed.
Sullivan shook her head. “No, this is your stage, Charles.”
“It's our stage. Any victory I have is just as much your victory as it is mine. None of this would be happening if you weren't in my life.”
The shame now morphed into tears that trickled down her cheeks.
“What? What's wrong, Sully?”
She wiped her tears. “I love you, and I'm just so proud of you, that's all.”
He folded her into his arms and kissed her. “I love you too, baby. Always.”
 
 
“You're an even better actress than I thought,” teased Lawson as she approached Sullivan following the service.
“Oh, you're speaking to me now?” she asked sarcastically.
Lawson smiled. “Who else is going to give you a kick in the pants when you need it if I don't?”
Relieved, Sullivan heartily embraced her friend. “I missed you, girl!”
“I missed your ol' crazy tail too.” Lawson grabbed Sullivan's purse. “Come on. Dinner's at my house today, and don't worry about clearing it with Charles. It's already taken care of. He said for you to come and have a good time. He's tired of seeing you mope around the house pretending to be mad at us.”
Anyone watching the foursome laughing and talking around Lawson's table would have never guessed that they'd spent the last seven days not speaking. After a round of apologies and a slice of Lawson's banana cream pie, all was well in the sister circle.
“So, Reggie really moved out?” asked Angel, noting her obvious absence.
“Yep, she's in the back grabbing the last of her things as we speak.”
“Have you seen her new place?”
“Not yet. Things aren't quite back to normal between us,” admitted Lawson.
“Well, you did call her a whore,” recalled Sullivan.
“I called you one, too, but you got over it,” Lawson pointed out. “I'm really worried about her. If she's stripping, there's no telling what else she's into.”
“Don't be discouraged. Remember the Prodigal Son. He had his time of riotous living, but he eventually came to his senses and went back home. Reggie will do the same. She's just rebelling right now.”
“I just wish she'd rebel with her clothes on!”
“You looked real pretty up on the pulpit today, Sully. I like your hair all long and wavy like that,” praised Kina.
She ran her fingers through her hair. “You do? I ordered this hair from Brazil. Doubtless, those hens on the mother board will just see it as something else to criticize.”
“You didn't hear anyone criticizing you today, did you?” asked Angel. “Give people a chance, Sullivan. Not everyone is out to get you.”
“I thought Pastor gave a wonderful speech.” Lawson swallowed a mouthful of salad. “You should've felt like crap, Sully.”
“I did. Still do. I'm thinking about coming clean, just telling Charles everything.”
Angel looked up. “Why would you do that? Is Vaughn blackmailing you?”
“No, I'm emotionally blackmailing myself. The guilt is killing me. You heard him going on about me in front of all those people. I felt like such a hypocrite.”
“What happened to all that big talk you were doing about being able to handle the situation?” jeered Lawson.
“I thought I could! Who knew Charles would start acting like a real husband?”
“Seeing as how I have a little experience in this area, I think you should tell him,” Angel suggested, “but only if it's for the right reasons. Telling him to absolve yourself of your guilt is wrong and selfish. Plus, I'm not wholly convinced that you're going to stop sleeping with Vaughn.”
“I will . . .” asserted Sullivan, “soon.”
“What happened to all the good guilt and remorse you had five seconds ago?” asked Lawson.
“It was there until I thought about him kissing me . . . and nibbling on my ear . . . and that hurricane tongue . . .”
“Eww—T.M.I.!” cried Angel. “I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.”
Sullivan patted Angel on the back. “I'm sorry. I forgot you haven't had sex this millennium.”
“Sully, how many times must we tell you how wrong this is?” chided Kina. “You heard your husband today. Anybody can see how much he loves you. This'll crush him.”
“Why even risk him finding out and getting hurt?” asked Kina. “Just leave Vaughn alone.”
Lawson poured the tea. “Aren't you taking an even greater risk staying married to Mike Tyson?”
“E'Bell hasn't laid a hand on me since that day in the parking lot,” Kina fibbed.
“That doesn't mean he won't again. I don't trust him, and neither should you—not until he gets help,” added Angel.
“He's never hitting me again. He promised.”
“So, Sully promised to be faithful, and we see how well that's worked out!” said Lawson.
Sullivan shook her head. “Don't even think about comparing me to that ogre E'Bell. If a man slaps me, it's a part of the foreplay, and it's never on my face.”
Angel closed her eyes and balled her fists for emphasis. “Again, Sully,
T.M.I
!”
“None of us want to see you or Kenny hurt, Kina. I pray for you and your safety every single night. My prayers won't amount to a hill of beans, though, if you don't remove yourself from this dangerous situation,” Lawson warned her. “As a teacher, it's my obligation to report it if he's hitting Kenny.”
“There is no dangerous situation! E'Bell and I are fine. We're doing better now than ever. Things are going so well that not only is he okay with me going back to school, he's even decided to join me. Lawson, you'd be doing us a huge favor if you'd lend E'Bell some old textbooks. He needs them to brush up before he takes his entrance exams.” Kina was surprised and impressed with how adeptly she could lie.
Lawson was shocked. “Really?”
“You all were wrong about E'Bell. He really does love me and Kenny. He just lost his cool that day, but we're putting it behind us. I wish you would too.”
“I will give him the benefit of the doubt for your sake,” said Angel. “I still think he needs help. You both do.”
Kina quickly changed the subject. “So, what's going on with you and Mark, Lawson? You haven't said much about him lately.”
Lawson pushed her food around her plate. “What's there to say other than that Mark has lost his mind?”
Angel sliced her chicken. “Uh-oh. What did he do now?”
“Oh, this one's a doozy!” Lawson wiped her hands. “He asked me to marry him! He claims that he wants to give Namon a family.”
“And give you a reason to kill him!” added Sullivan. “What is he thinking?”
“He's thinking about his son,” filled in Kina. “I can't really say I blame him.”
Angel turned to Lawson. “You're not considering his proposal, are you?”
“No . . . not really,” Lawson replied slowly.
“
Not really
?” echoed Sullivan.
“He brought up some good points,” granted Lawson. “I mean, he is Namon's father, and he deserves to be a part of his life.”
“What about Garrett?” asked Angel.
“I haven't really told him about the proposal yet,” Lawson confessed. “You know he's already anxious about us getting married. If I tell him this, it'll confirm his belief that I've been holding out for someone better. I'm probably going to turn down Mark's proposal anyway, so why upset Garrett unnecessarily?”
“Because you're using words like
probably
to say whether or not you're going to accept another man's proposal!” replied Sullivan.
“Ladies, you know that I have every intention of being Garrett's wife, however, if letting Mark think that I'm considering his proposal will keep him off my back and out of my son's life for the time being, I'll tell him whatever it is that he wants to hear.”
Angel dug her fork into the pasta salad. “That's a mighty big risk you're taking, Lawson, and a very dangerous game to play.”
“There's no game. I'm just letting Mark think what he wants to think.”
“But you're deceiving Garrett while you're at it,” said Kina. “He's going to feel like you betrayed him when he finds out.”
Lawson raised her glass. “Then here's to men not finding out!”
“Amen!” agreed Sullivan. They clanked their glasses together.
Angel raised hers. “And here's to God having mercy when they do!”
Chapter 38
“Instead of us sharing him, we may have both just lost him.”
—
Lawson Kerry
 
As Lawson, Sullivan, Angel, and Kina chatted in the living room over dinner, Reginell snatched her clothes from the closet and replayed her sister's censuring in her head. “Who does she think she is, talking to me like that?” grunted Reginell as she flung the last of her belongings into a box. “She thinks she's better than somebody, but you've got skeletons, too, Lawson!” she said, raising her voice loud enough for Lawson to hear.
Lawson knocked on the door then opened it. “We're headed to the park to watch Namon and Garrett play football. Lock up when you leave.” She closed the door without further conversation.
Reginell heard the front door open, and the ladies' laughter as they filed out. “Good riddance!” she called after them. The fact that they didn't invite her to tag along perturbed Reginell even more.
As Reginell secured her boxes with tape, the doorbell rang. She opened it and found Mark standing before her.
“Hi. It's Reggie, right?” he asked.
“Yes. How are you doing, Mark?”
“I'd be doing a lot better if I could see my son. Is Lawson home?”
“No, she left. Namon's with her. Did she know you were coming?”
“I told her that I was giving her a week to tell Namon the truth. She knows that her time is up.” Mark shook his head. “I was really hoping to see Namon today. It's been driving me crazy knowing that I've got a kid ten miles from my house who doesn't even know I'm alive.”
Reginell empathized with him. “I can imagine. Just so you know, Mark, I'm on your side in this. I told Lawson she is wrong for keeping you from your son.”
“I appreciate that.” Mark smiled. “It's good to know that at least one family member agrees with me.”
“I'm on your side. So is my cousin, Kina. It's cold out here. Why don't you come in for a minute?” She let him into the house.
“Thank you.” Mark seemed genuinely humbled by Reginell's support. “Please keep talking to Lawson on my behalf. Although, after our conversation the other day, I think she may be coming around.”
Reginell sat down. “Really? What happened?”
“I asked her to marry me. I think it's what's best for our son. I think she's considering it.”
Reginell thought about what she'd overheard Lawson saying during dinner and rolled her eyes. “I wouldn't get my hopes up if I were you.”
“Why not?”
“Because she's playing you. Lawson is not the good girl she tries to come off as. She can be very mean-spirited and hurtful. She plans to string you along with this marriage thing as long as she can. She has no intention of breaking up with Garrett or marrying you. Lawson just wants to keep you quiet so you won't blow her cover to Namon. She was talking and laughing about it with her friends ten minutes ago.”
Mark stroked his face, taking in the disclosure. “So, Lawson thinks she can make a fool out of me, huh?”
“Yes,” replied Reginell, “unless you plan to show her differently. Don't let her get away with this, Mark.”
Mark pressed his lips together and stood up. “Thank you for being honest.”
“It was the right thing to do. Lawson can't get away with hurting people.”
“Do you happen to know where she is now?”
“She's at the park. Namon, too.”
Mark stalked off, and Reginell smiled to herself. “Now we'll see who has the last word, Lawson.”
 
 
“
Go long!
” cheered Lawson as Namon sprinted across the field with Garrett tailing him. “
Whoo-hoo
!”
Sullivan laughed. “Ol' Garrett is showing his age out there.”
“You leave my baby alone!” teased Lawson.
“You talking to me?” asked a male voice behind her.
Lawson turned out, stunned to see Mark. “What are you doing here?”
“I should be asking you that. Just what
do
you think you're doing, Lawson?”
Lawson shook her head. “Mark, you should leave. This isn't a good time.”
Mark stood firm. “Your time is up. I want to see my son, and I want to see him now.”
Sullivan came to Lawson's aid. “Is this clown giving you a hard time?” She turned to Mark. “If you're here to cause trouble for Lawson and Namon, you've got to go through me first!”
“How did you even know we were here?” fired Lawson. “Are you stalking me?”
Mark shook his head. “I have better things to do with my time than that. Now, you can bring Namon to me, or I can just go out on the field and get him.”
Lawson anchored her hands to her hips. “I won't be bossed around, Mark.”
“And I won't be strung along, Lawson! Now, I've done everything you asked me to do. I kept my distance, I gave you a chance to break the news in your own way, but you refuse to hold up your end. Now it's time to do it my way.”
Angel scampered off of the bleachers and over to Mark, Lawson, and Sullivan. “Don't look now, but Garrett and Namon are coming over,” she mumbled, watching them cut across the field.
Lawson panicked. “Mark, please don't say anything to him,” she pleaded. “I promise you, we'll sit down and do this the right way, but not today, not like this.”
Mark shook his head. “I'm through playing by your rules, Lawson. Namon is going to find out right now who his real father is.”
“Will you stop being such a jerk?” fired Sullivan. “Think of Namon! You're so selfish. The objective is to do what's best for him, not what's best for you.”
“That's what I'm trying to do,” answered Mark. “Lawson, have you thought any more about my proposal?”
Lawson sighed. “Yes, of course.”
Lawson cut her eyes to Sullivan, who knew full well that she was lying.
“Getting married might not be such a bad idea, but you can't expect me to just run off and leave Garrett in the wind. He deserves better than that.”
“He deserves to know the truth,” said Mark.
Garrett approached Mark with Namon at his side. “Are you harassing Lawson
again
?”
“This isn't harassment,” he reported. “You know why I'm here. You both do.”
Garrett exhaled. “This isn't the time or the place.”
Mark fumed. “You know, I'm tired of all you people trying to dictate to me when and where I see my son. That stops right now!” He moved toward Namon.
Lawson reached out for him. “
Mark, no!
”
“Namon,” began Mark, placing his hands on Namon's shoulders. “Do you remember me?”
Namon shirked away from him. “Yeah, you were the one yelling at my mom.”
Mark nodded. “Well, we were arguing about you.”
He frowned. “Why?”
Mark glanced over at Lawson before going on. “Because I wanted to see you, I wanted to spend time with you. You see, Namon . . . I'm your dad. You're my son.”
Namon's expression changed. He shook his head and sidled close to Lawson. “You ain't my daddy!” he spat. “Mama, why is he saying that?”
“Because he is, baby,” confirmed Lawson, squeezing Namon's hand as her tear ducts began to rupture. “Mark is your biological father.” Garrett wrapped his arms around her.
Mark extended his arms. “Namon, I'm your father. I've been waiting all this time to tell you that, to hold my son.”
Namon shunned him. “Garrett's my daddy. I don't even know you.”
“We can get to know each other, starting today,” offered Mark.
Namon snarled and asked, “If you're my daddy, where have you been all this time? Why are you coming around now? Why didn't you just stay gone?”
“Son, I didn't know. I hadn't seen your mother since we were kids. If I'd known about you, I would have been in your life from day one.” Mark turned to Lawson. “Lawson, tell him.”
Lawson stepped forward. “He's right, Namon. He never knew I was pregnant with you. He didn't even know you existed until a few weeks ago.”
“I tried to tell you when I came over,” explained Mark. “Your mother didn't feel like it was the right time, though.”
Namon looked at Lawson. “So, you lied to me, Mama?” He dropped her hand.
Sullivan stepped in. “She was trying to protect you, honey. She didn't want to just spring this on you.”
“So, all of y'all knew and nobody told me?” asked Namon. “You knew too, Garrett, and you didn't tell me?” A flash of sadness broke in his eyes.
“This is why I wanted to prepare him,” Lawson uttered to Mark. She faced her son. “Sweetie, I know what a shock this must be to you, but it doesn't change anything. I'm still your mom. Garrett still loves you just the same. Mark just wants a chance to get to know you too. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if you got to know him.”
Mark kneeled down beside him. “Your mom and I have been talking about a way to make that happen and to make things easier on you.” He hesitated. “We've been talking about getting married, so we can raise you together as a family.”
Garrett broke away from Lawson. “
What?
Baby, what is he talking about?”
Angel and Kina dropped their heads.
“Mark, it's not your place to say anything!” admonished Lawson.
“It's obvious that you weren't going to,” retorted Garrett. “Is all this true?”
“Garrett, I can explain,” stammered Lawson, “but not right now. Our focus needs to be on Namon. There's nothing between me and Mark that you need to worry about.”
Mark joined Lawson at her side. “I asked her to marry me, and she's thinking it over. It's what's best for our son.”
Garrett glared at Lawson. “When were you going to mention this to me?”
Angel mediated. “Can we just keep our attention on Namon? This is about him. You can sort out all this other stuff later.”
“She's right,” agreed Mark. “This is about our family—Lawson, me, and Namon.”
Garrett sidestepped Lawson. “Obviously, this is a
family
matter, and I'm not part of that equation. Excuse me.”
“Garrett, don't leave like this,” entreated Lawson. “You
are
my family! You're the only father Namon's ever known.”
Garrett turned around. “Have you really been discussing marriage with this guy?”
“We've done more than
discussed
it,” bragged Mark. “We've picked out the dress, even practiced the first dance.”
Lawson was flustered. “It wasn't like that, Mark, and you know it! Garrett, don't listen to him. Let's just go home. You, me, and Namon can go home and figure this out together. We're solid. Don't let Mark make you question that.”
“If that was true, Lawson, you would've been straight with me about what's going on. You've been talking marriage with him and ain't said one word to me about it! What does this say about our relationship? What does that tell me about you?”
Garrett went to Namon. “You know I love you, and I'll always be here whenever you need me, but you've got your real father now.”
“I want to go with you,” Namon told him. “I want
you
to be my dad. I don't want him!”
Garrett hugged him. “You just need to get to know him, that's all.” He released Namon. “I'll see you around.”
Garrett turned to walk away. Lawson gripped his sleeve. “Garrett, don't go!” He broke her hold on him and kept walking.
“Shh, just let him cool off,” advised Sullivan, draping her arm about Lawson. “He feels betrayed right now, but he'll be back.”
Mark approached his son. “Namon, if it's all right with you and your mom, I'd love to take you somewhere to eat and we can start getting to know one another.”
“No, it's not all right with me!” screamed Lawson. “Why don't you get out of here? Go home, Mark. You've done enough damage for one day!”
“You can't keep him away from me! I'm his father!” yelled Mark.
Namon shot back, “No, you're not, and you never will be.” He ran to catch up with Garrett.
“Namon!” called Lawson. He ignored her.
“I'll go after him,” said Mark.

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