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Authors: Shana Burton

BOOK: Flaws and All
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Theresa hugged her and replied, “Thank you. God bless you.” She squeezed Angel's hand. “Your life is going to be so much richer from this point on. You're free.”
“For the first time in nine years, I
feel
free,” she admitted. Angel wiped her tears and laughed. “Who would've thought, right?”
Theresa smiled. “Who would've thought . . .”
“Theresa, I want you to know that I really do believe you've changed. You couldn't have done what you just did for me if God wasn't in your life and in your heart.”
“The God we serve can do all kinds of miracles, even save a wretch like me,” replied Theresa. “I don't have any unrealistic expectations about us being best friends or anything like that, but I'm willing to try to be something other than enemies if you are.”
Angel looked down. “Theresa, I'm willing to try, but I'm not going to pretend that the hurt is gone. It's a little less, but the sting is still there.”
“I know. In time, though, I pray that each layer of forgiveness will be pulled back, and that you'll no longer be haunted by this. I know that you'll have to forgive me all over again whenever you think of the child you lost or see me with Duke, or any time there's a trigger that causes you to remember. But you took an important step today toward making peace with everything that's happened.”
“And I promise to be a consummate professional from now on. I'm sorry for being a pain earlier. I know I was hurt, but that's no excuse. The welfare of my patients should always come first.”
“It's okay. Even your halo leans to the side sometimes, Angel,” kidded Theresa.
“Nevertheless, I want to do right by you as your nurse.”
“So, does this mean you're sticking around?” Angel nodded and Theresa smiled.
“Duke will be so happy to hear this. If you'll excuse me for a minute, I want to call and tell him the good news.” Theresa made a quick exit.
Duke. Now that she was no longer hiding behind her anger, Angel realized that there was another emotion lying dormant in her as it related to her ex-husband. Beneath the layers of hurt, betrayal, and resentment was buried the one emotion she'd fought to deny for nine years: love.
Chapter 28
“Don't try to tangle with me.”
—
Lawson Kerry
 
Mark entered Lawson's classroom that Monday afternoon just as she was packing up to leave. His presence brought the usual anxiety along with it.
“Do you have any extra dry erase markers?” he asked.
“I thought the new teacher was supposed to be borrowing from the mentor, not the other way around.” She pointed to her file cabinet. “Look in there. Grab what you need.”
“Thanks.” He opened the drawer, pulled out a box of markers, and held up a wallet-sized picture of Namon in his football uniform. “Is this your son?”
The anxiety mounted. She'd forgotten about stashing the picture in there to keep Mark from seeing it on her desk. Clearly, the plan had backfired. “Yes, that's Namon.”
Mark was mesmerized by the photo, “Cute kid. Kind of looks like me at that age.”
The comparison left Lawson feeling sick. “He is the spitting image of Patrick Kerry, my father,” she lied to throw him off.
“What's his name again?”
“Namon.” She hoisted the picture from his grasp.
“He plays football, huh? How old is he?”
“He's in middle school,” she replied, being vague to prevent Mark from asking too many questions.
“Oh, you must've had him pretty young?”
“Yeah, I was still in high school.”
“Really? I don't remember you saying you had a kid when we met.”
“I had him later.” She crammed the picture into her wallet.
“Was his daddy a jock too?”
“Mark, why the sudden interest in my son?”
“I'm just curious about what you've been doing for the last fourteen years. Sue me.”
“I've been working, going to school, and taking care of my child. Case closed.”
“Do you get a lot of help from his dad?”
Lawson was visibly irritated. “Namon's father abandoned him before he was even born.”
“That's messed up. I can't imagine ever doing that to a child of mine.”
“Oh, really,” she replied, ripe with sarcasm.
“I know you're wondering how I can say that when my daughter's in a whole other state, but I send money every week, I get her during the summer, and I'm up in Charlotte visiting her every other weekend. I refuse to be a deadbeat dad.”
“I suppose that makes Mariah a very lucky girl.” Lawson slung her purse strap over her shoulder and started walking out of the classroom. “Mark, I really do have to go. Namon has a doctor's appointment, and we can't be late. I'll see you tomorrow.”
Mark walked out behind her. “He's not sick, is he?”
“Not really. He has thyroid problems.”
“I do too. It's hereditary, you know.”
She shrugged her shoulders. “I guess.”
He stopped walking and thought for a moment. “That's weird, isn't it?”
“What?”
“That your son and I both have the same condition.”
Lawson pushed open the exterior doors of the school and walked to the parking lot. “It's not that strange, Mark. Millions of people suffer the same ailment.” She could tell by his expression that her answer didn't placate him as much as she wished it had.
Mark was hot on her heels. “How old did you say he was again?”
In her haste to get away from Mark, Lawson blurted out, “He's almost fourteen,” without thinking.
“Fourteen? You made it seem like he was a lot younger.” She began to sprint, but was no match for the former running back. “Dang, slow down, Lawson!”
She stopped. “Mark, I already told you that I have to go. We'll talk later.”
“Lawson, wait . . . if he's fourteen, then that means he must've been conceived around the time we met, right?”
Lawson exhaled. “What's your point?”
“When is Namon's birthday?”
“How about I just bring you his birth certificate, okay? Then you can figure out how old he is, who his dad is, and every other question you have that's keeping me from getting my son to the doctor.”
He acquiesced. “Go on. I don't want you to miss your appointment.”
She sighed, relieved. “Thank you. I'll see you later.”
As Lawson moved to leave, Mark stopped her as a new thought came to him. “Lawson, wait . . . that night . . . we didn't use protection, did we?”
“I'm sure we did,” she lied. “I wouldn't be that careless with a guy I just met.”
Mark thought about it some more. “I'm almost positive we didn't because I wasn't planning on having anybody over that night. It just sort of happened.”
“If you say so,” she replied in a huff. “Now I really have to leave.”
“Why are you so agitated? Why don't you want to talk about it?”
“What's with the Grand Inquisition, Mark? We've already had this discussion. Why do you want to rehash it now?”
“I don't know. I guess I'm looking for the truth. Something's not right about this. I feel it in my gut.” He parted his lips to say something then pursed them together. He shook his head and spoke again. “Do you mind if I take another look at that picture?”
“I
do
mind. I really don't have time for this.”
“Then just answer one question for me. Who is Namon's father?”
Lawson swallowed and looked away. “A guy I dated in high school. Why?”
“What's his name?”
“You don't know him.”
“Then why won't you tell me his name?”
She unlocked her car door. “Why are you doing this? Just let it go!”
“I have to know the truth, Lawson. What's his name?”
Lawson rattled “Johnny” off of the top of her head before getting into the car.
“Johnny who?”
She was flustered. “Johnny Jones or something. I don't really remember. Like I said, we don't talk anymore. We haven't communicated in years.”
She tried to close the door, but Mark blocked the door with his body. “Lawson, you don't know a dude named Johnny Jones any more than you do Adam's house cat.”
“Okay, evidently you have all the answers, Mark, so why are you bothering me?”
“I think . . .” He shook his head. “I can't believe I'm about to ask you this.”
“Then don't.”
“I have to.” He gulped. “Lawson, is Namon my son?”
She pushed him aside. “Don't you think you'd know if you had a child here, especially if he was living in the same city as you do?”
“No, not if his mother didn't tell me. Lawson, look at me, all right?” He held the door so she couldn't close it. “Is Namon my child? Just tell me, Lawson. I have to know. Is he my kid?”
Tears started to burn in her eyes. “Please, just drop it, okay? I'm not asking you for anything. My son and I are fine. We don't need anything from you.”
“I'm not leaving until I know the truth. You owe me that much.”
“I don't owe you anything!” she raged.
“If he's not my son, just say it.”
Lawson shook her head.
“From the moment we met again, you've been acting strange. I thought it was because we'd slept together, but when I saw that picture, I knew. Tell me, Lawson. Is Namon my son?”
“I'm begging you, Mark. Don't do this.”
Mark crossed his arms in front of him. “Fine, then, I'll have him tested. Is that what you want? You wanna drag your son through that?”
“No,” she sobbed.
He stooped down beside the car. “Please just tell me the truth,” pleaded Mark. “I need to hear you say the words.”
Lawson looked down at Mark. The weight of carrying this secret was finally too much to bear, and she knew that there was only one way to unload it, to free Mark and to free herself. She wiped her eyes. “You were right, okay?” She held her head down as she spoke. “We didn't use protection that night.” He dropped his head too. “It was stupid, and we should've known better.”
Mark looked up. “And Namon?”
She took a deep breath and went on. “We didn't use protection, and we ended up making a baby that night.”
His body was trembling. “So, it's true then? Namon is . . .”
“It's true.” She looked him squarely in the face. “Mark, Namon is your son.”
Mark was seething. He didn't say anything with his mouth, but his eyes spoke volumes. His face was rigid, jaws tightened.
Lawson was actually terrified of him. “Aren't you going to say anything?”
“Why?”
“Because we need to talk about this. I need to know what you intend to do.”
“No,
why
? Why would you keep my son from me all these years? How could you not tell me?”
“Mark, I didn't know how to contact you. I didn't know where you were—”
“That's bull, Lawson! You had my number. You knew where I lived.”
“By the time I realized I was pregnant, you'd already gone to Virginia to play football. How was I supposed to track you down way over there?”
“We knew the same people. If you wanted to reach me, you would have.”
“I left messages with your parents for you to call me.”
“You never told them you were pregnant.”
“How could I? I didn't know them. I barely knew you.”
“All of this time, I've had a son out there who needed me, and you kept him from me. Where does he think I've been all this time?”
“I told him the truth, that you dumped me and never looked back.”
Mark shook her head. “How could you do that to him? What kind of mother lets her child think that his father doesn't give a—” He lowered his voice as two teachers strolled by them on the way to their cars. “How could you let him think I didn't care?”
“You didn't! You dropped me quicker than a bad habit.”
“Is that what this is about? You kept him from me because I didn't call after we had sex?”
“Don't flatter yourself, Mark. The fact of the matter is that you knew we didn't use a condom and that there was a good chance that I could get pregnant, but you were too caught up in being the big football star to ever look back.”
“Things would have been different if I had known.”
“Would they really? Admit it, Mark. You did not want to know what happened. You didn't want to know whether or not I was pregnant, because if I was, then you would have to take on a responsibility that you had no intention of seeing through.”
“I wouldn't have hesitated to step up. We Vinsons take care of our own. I would've done whatever I had to do to make sure that my son had whatever he needed, including a father. Do you realize that he has grandparents that he's never even met and a sister who he doesn't know exists? What gave you the audacity to think that you could keep him away from us?”
“I was sixteen, Mark. Do you have any idea what it's like to be sixteen and pregnant? Do you know how it made me feel having to see the disappointment in my mother's eyes when she found out that I was pregnant? Or the pain of having your body ripped apart during labor? I had my whole childhood taken away from me while you were somewhere carefree. And you have the nerve to stand here and judge? How dare you?”
“You had choices, Lawson, and that's what you chose to do.”
“What kind of choices did I have? An abortion? Adoption? Leaving him in a trash can on the street?”
“You could've told me. My family has money. My parents would've given their last to make sure that Namon was taken care of. Heck, they probably would've raised him while we finished school.”
Lawson pointed at him. “That's exactly what I was afraid of. I never wanted to give up my son, Mark. I wasn't looking for a handout or someone to drop Namon off on.”
Mark looked at her. His gaze was cold and unyielding. “I want to see him.”
Lawson took a deep breath and calmed down. “Okay, when the time is right, we can arrange some sort of meeting or a phone conversation.”
Mark chuckled. “
A phone conversation
? He's my son, Lawson! You have dictated my relationship with him long enough.” His tone became as sinister as his stare. “Sorry, sweetheart, but you're no longer calling all the shots where Namon is concerned.”

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