Flaws and All (17 page)
Authors: Shana Burton
“I'm his mother. Say what you want, but I'm the only parent he's ever known. Now, I'm willing to work with you, but if you try to threaten or intimidate me, I'll be the only parent he
ever
knows.”
ever
knows.”
“Do you really think you're in a position to take this kind of stance? You don't want this thing to get ugly, Lawson. I'll assemble a team of lawyers who won't have any problem with taking you on with every resource, loophole, and outlet they've got.”
“Don't try to tangle with me, Mark,” she warned him.
“Then don't get in my way. I will have a relationship with him, and it won't be on your terms. Those days are over.”
“I never said you couldn't have a relationship with him, but I'm not about to let you come out of left field, disrupting his life. Namon is a stable, well-adjusted young man, and I intend to keep him that way. Your relationship with him will have to be a process. Even then, it'll only be if that's what he wants.”
“So, let me get this straight. You get to decide when, where, and how I meet my son, and Namon gets to decide whether or not he even wants to see me. At what point in this equation do I get any say?”
Lawson stood firm and looked him up and down. “You don't.”
“Oh, yeah? My son will know me, Lawson. I'm prepared to go after custody if you force the issue.”
“Your threats don't scare me. No judge in his right mind is going to take a child from his mother to live with a stranger who happens to have the same DNA. Get real.”
“It's real, all right. You may be his mother, but I've got the law on my side. You can't keep a child away from his father without just cause. I'm not afraid to have this thing go to court.”
“And I will fight you every step of the way,” added Lawson, moving in closer.
“Then get ready for the fight of your life,” he advised before storming off.
Chapter 29
“I just need to be patient and wait on you to move in my situation.”
â
Kina Battle
Kina Battle
Â
Kina was still quivering. An argument with E'Bell over the past due light bill left her stripped of her pride and almost of her life after he ripped into her about not paying it on time. E'Bell then choked Kina to silence her when she reminded him that he was supposed to pay it, not her.
As usual, E'Bell stormed out of the apartment following the argument, presumably to get drunk or smoke marijuana with his friends. His activities outside of their house no longer concerned Kina. It was his actions within their four walls that she had just about had enough of. Kina loved E'Bellâthere was no doubt in her mind about thatâbut she also knew that staying with him could very well end up costing her sanity and her life. Real love, she believed, shouldn't require her to sacrifice her body, her self-esteem, and her self-worth in exchange for affection. E'Bell never spoke life into her or put her needs ahead of his own. Living with him was becoming unbearable, and the last thing she wanted to do was leave a legacy of abuse for her son to repeat. She had to make a choice.
“God, I don't think I can take this anymore!” Kina cried out in prayer. “You said that we can cast all of our burdens on you. I need you to help me. You are my fortress and my protector. I need a way out for my son and me. I know that it is not your will for us to suffer like this. Give me your spirit of peace and the courage to do what I have to do. I need your guidance so I won't act out of emotion. I need to feel your presence, Lord, because right now, I'm so lost. I just need you to help me. Please don't abandon me. Not now, Lord!”
While cowering in a corner crying, Kina's first thought was to numb the pain with the box of doughnuts she had waiting for her on the counter. When she lifted her head to make sure they were still there, she spotted the telephone directory on top of the television. The Lord dropped it into her spirit to open the book. She turned to the yellow pages and discovered strength and resolve that she didn't have before. She began frantically skimming through law firms, searching for a divorce attorney.
Kina settled on family attorney Bette Walsh, whose full-page ad in the yellow pages guaranteed a free consultation. Kina picked up the telephone, took a deep breath, and dialed Bette Walsh's number, praying that she was doing the right thing.
“Good afternoon, this is the law office of Bette Walsh. Can I help you?” asked the receptionist on the other end of the phone.
Kina cleared her throat. “I, um, I need to speak to Ms. Walsh please.”
“She's with a client at the moment, but I'd be happy to give her a message.”
“Um, tell her Kina Battle called.” Kina gripped the couch, urging herself to utter the words that she'd never had the courage to say aloud before. “Tell her I need a lawyer because”âshe took a deep breathâ“I want a divorce.”
Kina left her phone number with the receptionist and hung up. She swelled with pride for taking that all-important first step. She lifted her eyes to the Lord and clasped her hands together and whispered, “Thank you for giving me strength and giving me a way out.” Then Kina lifted both arms in praise and shouted, “Praises be to God!”
Kina fell back on the sofa laughing, intoxicated with joy. With one phone call, she had begun the process of setting herself free. Never again would she have to fear for her or her son's safety. She could go to school if she wanted, she could cook what she wanted. “Shoot,” she said aloud, “I can even fall in love if I want to!” She started giggling to the point of hysteria, feeling something that she'd hadn't in a long time: hope.
Kina was brought back to reality after catching a glimpse of E'Bell's tarnished MVP trophy on their display shelf. Leaving him would not be easy, and she needed a plan. Kina knew that E'Bell would lose his mind if she flat-out told him that she was filing for a divorce, and there was no telling what he'd do to her once he got home if she had divorce papers served to him at work. She needed to find a safe haven for herself and her son. In order to do that, she would have to ask for help, which would mean admitting that she was trapped in an abusive marriage.
Kina's thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. She opened it and found her elderly next door neighbor. “Hi, Miss Janie, can I help you with something?”
“I'm just looking for my grandbaby,” croaked Janie Carswell. “I need him to run down the corner to the store for me.”
“Sheldon's not here,” replied Kina. The woman nodded and dropped her head. “If you need something we have in here, I'd be happy to give it to you.”
She squeezed Kina's arm. “That's mighty sweet of you, baby. You got some baking soda and some sugar?”
“I'm sure I do. Come on in.” Kina invited the woman into her living room.
“You all right, baby? You look like you've been crying,” Janie observed.
“Oh, it's nothing,” said Kina, pasting on a smile. “These are tears of joy.”
“I thought I heard some yelling over here earlier. I ain't nosey, but you know these walls are made out of paper.” She rapped on the paneling. “You can just about hear each other breathing.”
“My husband and I had a little disagreement.” Kina went into her cupboard and pulled out a bag of sugar and a small box of baking soda.
“It's like that sometimes,” conceded Mrs. Carswell, retrieving the items from Kina. “But y'all are young. You got plenty of good years ahead of you.”
“I don't know about that,” admitted Kina.
“Of course you do! You two are in love and you got that baby to raise together. Don't let some little argument make you throw in the towel.”
Kina sat down on the sofa shook her head. “It's more than that. The marriage isn't working for us. I just don't think we need to be together.”
“Hush all that!” ordered Mrs. Caswell. “That's just the devil talking! You know he comes to kill, steal, and destroy. He hates marriage, but the Lord says, âI hate divorce.' The Bible says that divorce is treacherous, so don't even let that word come out your mouth! You just need to go somewhere and pray and trust God to make it all right.”
“I have faith that He will make everything all right, but I don't believe God expects me to live in misery while I'm here on earth.”
“Baby, the devil will tell you anything he can in order to move you out of God's will for your life. This ain't just about what you want. You got to think about that baby and remember that God told married folks to stay together. Don't give your family over to Satan. Don't let him have that victory.”
“Miss Janie, you don't know the whole story or what I've been through.”
Janie leaned against the arm of the sofa for support. “We all go through struggles, baby. My problems might not be same as yours, but when it comes down to it, problems are problems. There really ain't too much difference.”
“I think Satan has a stronghold on my husband. I'll continue to pray for E'Bell's deliverance, but the best thing for me and my son to do is to get out while we still can.”
“If you believe that Satan has a hold on your husband, that's even more reason for you to stay here and pray him through it. Your prayer could be the one thing that saves him. You can't make this whole thing about you. You've got to do what's best for your family and to do what God's word tells us to do. He ordered us to live at peace with one another, not strife. Don't let the devil use you or the people closest to you to further his plan to destroy your marriage. Do what God says.”
With a heavy heart, Kina stammered, “IâI thought I was doing what God wanted me to do.”
“That's why you've got to spend time with the Lord so you can discern his voice from the enemy's. All that talk about divorce and leaving your husband has got the devil written all over it. You need to get on your knees and repent for even thinking about it. Don't you know that divorce grieves God's heart?”
“I would never want to do that, not even unintentionally.”
Janie hobbled to the door. “See, that's why the Lord sent me over here, to keep you from doing something foolish. Now, I thank you for my sugar and baking soda, and if you see that rascal of mine, send his behind home, you hear me?”
Kina struggled to hold back the tears as she opened the door to let Janie out. “Yes, ma'am.”
Janie lifted Kina's chin. “Aw, don't look so sad, child. Be joyful. The Lord will forgive you if you ask Him to, and everything is gon' turn out just fine. You'll see.”
Kina nodded and closed the door. She had been certain that the Lord was speaking to her, but now wondered if it was only the devil trying to lead her into sin. Perhaps she'd acted in haste. After all, God wanted her to be willing to bear all things and to be true to the covenant she made with Him and the vows she made to E'Bell.
“God, I know that you'll be faithful if I continue to pray and be obedient,” prayed Kina. “You won't put more on me than I can bear. You said having trouble tests our faith and builds character. I just need to be patient and wait on you to move in my situation.”
Her cell phone rang, and Kina picked it up without thinking. “Hello?”
“Hi, this is Attorney Bette Walsh calling for Kina Battle. Is she available?”
It was the call that just fifteen minutes earlier Kina had been waiting for. She thought of Janie Carswell's words and concluded that the call was just another attempt from the devil to move her away from God's will for her marriage. Kina sighed and replied, “Sorry, you've got the wrong number,” and hung up the phone.
Chapter 30
“I've always known that this day would come.I should've been prepared.”
â
Lawson Kerry
Lawson Kerry
Â
“Give me the name and the number of a good lawyer,” demanded Lawson.
“Well, hello to you too,” Sullivan said and invited Lawson inside her home.
Lawson took off her coat and flung it on the couch. “Mark knows.”
“I thought you were going to hold off on telling him.”
“That was the plan, but he figured it out. Now he's talking all kind of foolishness about custody and his rights and going to court.”
“Nobody's taking your son away from you, Lawson. God will see to that, and if He doesn't, I will!”
“He acts like I'm just supposed to hand my son over to him, like the last fourteen years never happened,” she ranted. “He's so angry with me right now. I have no idea what he's gonna do.”
“Well, I know what I'm going to do. I'm calling in the whole cavalry, including Garrett. If Mark wants a fight, we'll give him one!”
“Sully, what if he really goes after custody?”
Sullivan folded Lawson into her arms. “He can try, but nothing is going to come of it. Lawson, you're Namon's mother, and you've been an excellent one at that, even though you started taking care of him since you were a kid yourself. You've spent your whole life sacrificing all you had so that Namon could have a good life. You don't have to prove that you've done your job as a mother, it's Mark who has to prove that he's a worthy father.”
“How can we stop him?”
“I don't know . . . We'll seek God. We'll get a lawyer. We'll do whatever it takes to protect you and Namon.”
Within minutes, after being summoned by Sullivan, the troops descended on Sullivan's lawn. First, Angel and Kina arrived, followed by Reginell and Garrett, all offering their prayers, pledging their support, and committing to move heaven and earth to keep Lawson and Namon together.
Lawson wiped the tears from her face with the back of her hand. “You know, I've always known that this day would come. I should've been prepared.”
Garrett held her. “Baby, there's no point to playing the âshoulda, woulda, coulda game.' We need to focus on our next move.”
Reginell joined the two of them. “It doesn't matter what he does. Mark can't hurt us. You, Namon, Garrett, and me are a family, and nothing's breaking that up.”
“Thank you, sis. It means the world to me that you even came.”
“Lawson, we might fight sometimes, but I'm your ride or die chick for life,” vowed Reginell.
Kina spoke next. “Cuz, everything is going to be fine. Somebody reminded me just today how much the enemy wants to destroy families. While I believe that Mark has a right to have a relationship with his son, he doesn't have the right to take Namon away from the only sense of family and stability that he's ever known. We won't let him.”
“Thank you, Ki.” The tears kept flowing. Lawson was moved by the outpouring of love from her family.
“I told you we had your back,” assured Sullivan.
Garrett handed Lawson a tissue. “I think it's time to tell Namon the truth.”
Lawson blew her nose. “I don't think we need to do that yet.”
“Lawson, you said yourself that this man is unpredictable,” said Angel. “What's to stop him from tracking Namon down and telling him himself? You don't want your son to find out like that. Then not only will he be confused, but he'll feel like he can't trust you. Don't leave it to chance.”
“He thinks of Garrett as his father,” claimed Lawson.
Garrett exhaled. “But I'm not, and he knows that. You don't want Mark putting his spin on things before you've had a chance to explain this to Namon.”
“How do I even begin to do that? It was one thing when we didn't know where Mark was, but I've known where he is for weeks now.”
“You can't worry about that now, but you do have to tell him. If you want, I'll speak to Namon myself, and I'll be right by your side when you break the news to him. Either way, Lawson, he needs to know that his dad is looking for him, and it's best if he hears that from you,” said Garrett.
“Lawson, what are you so afraid of?” asked Reginell. “What's the worst that could happen? Yes, I'm sure it'll be a shock to Namon, but it'll also be a tremendous relief. They could actually end up having a great relationship. You don't want to stand in the way of that, do you?”
Lawson plunked down on the sofa and began sobbing again. “What if . . . what if Namon decides he wants to live with Mark?” she cried. “Or worseâwhat if Mark snatches him up and takes off? I thought about doing it, and probably would've gone through with it if you hadn't stopped me. What's to keep Mark from thinking the same thing?”
Kina sat down beside her. “He won't. From what you've told me about Mark, he seems to be a stand-up guy. I don't think he'd intentionally hurt you or his son.”
Lawson shook her head. “You didn't see him today. You didn't see the look in his eyes. He was so angry that it scared me. People like that can't be trusted.”
“Well, we know who
can
be trusted,” proclaimed Angel, “and we need to put this into His hands. God told us to cast our burdens onto Him, and He will take of care of it.”
can
be trusted,” proclaimed Angel, “and we need to put this into His hands. God told us to cast our burdens onto Him, and He will take of care of it.”
“What will Namon think of me?” wondered Lawson. “I preach to him all the time about being responsible and thinking things through. How am I going to rationalize sleeping with a guy I barely knew? What kind of woman will he think I am?”
“He knows the kind of woman you are,” assured Sullivan. “You're strong and you're kind and you love him more than anything in this world. Nothing you tell him about Mark is going to change the way he feels about you.”
“I'm scared, y'all. I'm so afraid of losing my son and losing his respect. I have absolutely no control over the situation or what's going to happen next.”
“You don't have to be in control, because God is,” said Angel. “Trust Him, Lawson. Hasn't He always taken care of you and Namon? Put it in God's hands.”
“We've all got your back,” avowed Garrett. “Mark against us and God is like him fighting against an army with a handgun.”
“That may be true,” said Lawson, “but if Mark takes my son from me, all the support in the world won't matter. Nothing will.”
“Jesus will work it out. Just pray,” urged Kina.
“I am, but there's one thing we have to consider. What if God's on Mark's side with this? If He is, army or not, there ain't a thing in this world I can do about it.”
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