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Authors: Shana Burton

BOOK: Flaws and All
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“It's Mark's duty, too, as his father.”
Lawson jumped up, her temper flaring. “Just whose side are you on?”
Garrett held her. “Yours. You don't even have to ask me that.”
“Then act like it,” she replied coldly. “You said that you wanted to adopt Namon. Do you honestly think that Mark would just sign him over to you if he knew the truth?”
“I don't know what he might do, but we both know there has to be a public notice put in the paper about the adoption petition. He's bound to find out sooner or later.”
“Well, I'm praying for
later
.”
“It's already been thirteen years. How much more time do you need?”
“As long as it takes to protect my child. Who knows how Mark will react once he finds out we have a teenage son together?”
“Keeping quiet would be fine if Mark was off somewhere never to be seen or heard from again, but he's here, Lawson. You don't have much of a choice.”
Lawson paced the floor as she contemplated her next move. “There's another alternative to telling Mark about Namon, and it might be the only way out of this.” She entwined her hands with his. “We can leave.”
Garrett exhaled. “
Leave
? Lawson, you can't be serious.”
“I am!” she affirmed. She squeezed his hands and stated emphatically, “Baby, let's do it! Let's get married, take Namon, and get as far away from here as we can.”
“And leave your home, this new job, your church, and your friends? You know you don't want to do that, and I know that you're not a quitter. You're not somebody who runs from your problems, you deal with them.”
“This is how I intend to deal with this one.”
Garrett cupped her face in his hands. “Lawson, I love you. There's nothing I want more than for you to be my wife, but I can't marry you like this, or let you duck out like a coward.”
“But, Garrett—”
“I said no,” he stated firmly. “Running might be a quick fix, but that's not going to stop Namon from wondering about his biological father. You can't just hide this from him. You've got to face this situation eventually.”
Lawson snapped her fingers. “So, just like that, you want me to hand over my son to a virtual stranger?”
“I'm not suggesting anything that radical. I just don't want you to do something that's only going to make things worse. We need to seek God on the matter and follow His lead. Obedience is better than sacrifice. He's not going to allow this man to take your son away from you. Have faith.”
Lawson dropped her head into her hands and gave in. “You're right. What was I thinking?”
He wrapped his arms around her. “You weren't thinking, you were panicking. We'll figure this thing out, though.”
Lawson lifted her eyes to meet his. “
We?
”
“Yeah. We're a team, right?”
Lawson managed a faint smile. “Right.”
Garrett sat down, and Lawson swathed herself in his embrace. “So, when are you going to break the news to him?” he asked her.
“Are you talking about Mark or Namon?”
“I guess both.”
“I don't know. Once the truth gets out, there is no turning back. That's what scares me,” she admitted.
“Don't be scared. I'm behind you all the way, no matter what you decide. Namon is your son, so do what you think is best. Just remember, baby, no secret stays one for very long. Everything done in the dark eventually comes to light.”
Chapter 10
“What kind of man just wakes up one day and decides to turn his back on his family?”
—
Angel King
 
“So, what do you think about this Lawson situation?” asked Angel as she and Kina shopped for groceries on Kina's “approved foods” list after leaving Lawson's house.
Kina sighed. “That's a tough one. I know Lawson is just trying to look out for her son, but I don't think keeping him from his father is the best way to do it. Parents try so hard to protect their children, but sometimes nothing you do is ever enough.”
“Are we still talking about Lawson here?”
Kina stopped. “No, I'm worried about Kenny,” she confided. “He's been saying things I don't think a kid his age ought to be thinking about, much less be putting into words.”
“What did he say?”
“He said he would kill E'Bell if he ever did anything to me. It kind of scared me to hear him talk like that.”
Angel's eyes widened. “Kill him, as in murder?”
“Yeah.”
Angel blew out a breath. “That's serious, Kina. What did you tell him?”
“I talked to him and told him that he shouldn't say things like that, but I don't know . . . something in his eyes made me nervous.”
“What has E'Bell done that would make Kenny think he needed to protect you?” Angel had long suspected that E'Bell was abusive, but could never get Kina to admit it.
“Kenny heard us arguing the other night, and you know how kids are. He read more into it than there was. I mean, I know that E'Bell's not perfect,” acknowledged Kina, “but he's given up a lot for us. Who knows where football would've taken him if he hadn't let it go to be with Kenny and me?”
“You've made a lot of sacrifices, too, you know,” Angel pointed out, discarding the carton of chocolate chip cookies Kina had sneaked into the cart. “You had plans of your own. Not many eighteen-year-olds would be willing to give up their dreams to become the wife and baby's mama of some washed-up football player.”
“E'Bell's not washed up, Angel. He's just in a bad place right now. Think about it. He was the one everybody had pegged to go pro, now, he's a janitor at the same high school where he was the star athlete. I can't blame him for being bitter about it.”
“You never asked him to give up his career, or to drop out of school, or to become a janitor. Even if you did, it was his choice to do so, and he has no right to take out his shortcomings on you and Kenny.”
Kina stopped pushing the cart. “Look at me. Do you see the cute size three cheerleader I was in high school? In case you hadn't noticed, my twenty-four-inch hourglass waistline has been replaced by this forty-one-inch muffin.” She looked down at her torso. “This is not the body E'Bell fell in love with fifteen years ago.”
“He's not exactly the Give-'em-hell E'Bell the newspapers used to call him either. The only six pack he can brag about now is the one in the fridge, but you accept him anyway. Why can't he do the same for you?”
“It's just different for men, especially for a man like him.”
“E'Bell has no right to make you feel bad about yourself. No one does. And for the record, Kina, you're still a very beautiful woman.”
Kina laughed. “On what planet? I looked through my yearbook the other day and just cried. I don't know what happened to me, my body, or to all that long hair I had.”
“Well, your hair wouldn't keep falling out if you stopped stressing so much,” Angel theorized. “All that stuff changes with time anyway. Besides, I like your hair short, and who hasn't put on a few pounds? I want you to focus on just being healthy, mentally
and
physically. We're supposed to be setting a good example for our clients.”
“Speaking of which, have you met with that cancer patient yet?”
“Theresa McNair? No. I'm meeting with her tomorrow.” Angel picked up a grapefruit and inspected it. “I get a really strange vibe about her.”
“How come?”
“For one, she claims she found us through our Web site, but the site's not up and running yet, so she has to be lying.”
Kina looked up. “The woman is dying, Angel. Does it really matter how she found us as long as we're able to help her?”
Angel exhaled and let it go. “I guess you're right. She has a small child, so I'm sure she needs all the help she can get.” Angel paused a moment. “You know, if my baby had lived, she would be celebrating her eighth birthday next month.”
Kina looked on with sympathy. “It still bothers you, doesn't it?”
“I try not to think about it most of the time, but I was thrown back into it when Theresa's daughter answered the phone. Hearing that little girl's voice brought up a lot of hurt that I thought was buried.”
“You still miss him, don't you?” Kina asked softly.
“Who, Duke?”
Kina nodded.
“Staying busy keeps my mind from going there too much, but every once in a while, I'll have a moment like I did today.” Angel exhaled. “I loved him so much, Kina. What kind of man just wakes up one day and decides to turn his back on his family?”
“Despite what happened, I think he really did love you. He just got caught up.”
Angel shook her head. “You don't do what he did to someone you love. He had me fooled for a long time, though. I'll give him credit for that.”
“You'll meet the right man one day, Angel. I'm praying for it. Then you'll fall in love all over again and can put all that heartache behind you once and for all.”
“Even if I do remarry, I'll never give my heart to another man like that again. It's too hard to mend once it's been broken.”
Chapter 11
“You can't keep treating me like this, E'Bell.”
—
Kina Battle
 
“Good morning,” said Kina as she set a plate of scrambled egg whites and turkey bacon down on the table in front of E'Bell.
He grunted and picked up the bacon. “What's this?”
“Breakfast,” she replied. “It's turkey bacon. I think it's time we started eating healthier.” She passed a plate to Kenny.
“Since when did I start telling you to think?” fired E'Bell.
Kina sat down. “Angel says that my cholesterol is really high and that I'm at risk for all kinds of problems like heart disease and diabetes. I have to change my diet, and you know you're always telling me that I need to lose some weight.”
E'Bell leaned back in his chair. “You wanna lose some weight, huh? First, you stay gone all times of the night, now all of a sudden you want to lose some weight. You think I'm stupid, Kina?”
She shook her head. “I don't know what you're talking about.”
“Oh, you don't? You're just gonna sit there and play the innocent role, huh? I know why you're doing this. I bet there's some lame cat up at the job you trying to impress,” alleged E'Bell.
“E'Bell, I haven't met any men, honest.”
He flung back his chair and stood over her. “Then what's with the new hairdo, huh?” He flicked a lock of her hair. “Why are you trying to lose weight? Who you trying to look good for? Where are you getting the money for all this? Is this fool giving you money too?”
At that moment, Kina's primary concern was getting her son out of the room before things turned ugly. “Kenny, baby, go to your room and finish getting ready. Your bus will be here in a second.”
“Answer me, Kina!”
She waited for Kenny to exit before responding. “This isn't a new hairdo, E'Bell. All I did is wash it. There is no other man.”
“You think I'm stupid, don't you?” he repeated. “You laying up with this dude? You done had him in my house? Huh?” He backhanded her across the face, leaving a red splotch on her fair skin. “Answer me!”
Kina pressed her hand against her bruised cheek in a futile attempt to ease the sting. “I would never do anything like that, E'Bell. I swear.”
He grabbed her by the throat. “If I ever find out that you had a man in here or that you've been sneaking around behind my back, I'll kill you; you understand?”
She tried but couldn't speak. All she could do was gasp for air. E'Bell released his grip on her neck. “And don't be making me this mess for breakfast no more. You cook what I tell you to cook.” He sat back down at the table.
Kina heaved, trying to fill her lungs with the air that she'd been denied. “You can't keep treating me like this, E'Bell,” she whimpered.
“I don't do nothing to you that you ain't done to me. Look at how you disrespect me. Look at how you go out your way to try to hurt me.”
Tears fell from her cheeks into her lap. “When did I hurt you?” she wailed. “When have I ever laid a hand on you?”
“You took my dreams away from me. Don't nothing hit harder than that.”
Kina sniffed and wiped her eyes. “You act like you ain't even sorry. If I hurt you, at least you know it wasn't my intention.”
“Whether you tried to or not, that's what happened. You expect me to feel sorry for you? You want me to make things easy for you? When did anybody ever feel sorry for me? Who ever cut me a break?”
Kina cried, “All I've ever tried to do is love you, E'Bell!”
“Is that why you're sneaking behind my back—to show how much you
love
me?”
“There is no other man, baby. Who would even want me?”
“Better not be. I swear, Kina, if I ever caught another man in this house—”
“You won't,” she vowed to him. “I love you, I just want to be with you. All I want is for you to stop fighting with me.”
When E'Bell glimpsed at her battered face, he felt remorseful. “I don't like hurting you, but you push my buttons and that sets me off. Then I can't stop.”
“But everything I do makes you mad. It seems like I can't do anything right in your eyes.”
“That's because you don't try, Kina.”
“I
am
trying, but I don't know what else I can do to make you happy.”
E'Bell stared into the wall. “You just don't know what it's like for me. Didn't
nothing
turn out for me the way I planned.” He looked like he was going to cry.
Kina got up and put her arm around his shoulder. “The two of us can come up with a new plan. Don't you remember how much fun we used to have? Even in high school, everyone could see how perfect we were for each other.”
E'Bell nodded. “I remember. I had everything then—my girl, my team, fans, scholarship offers.” He swatted her arm off of him. “I could've played for any school in the country. NFL agents were already looking at me. Then it was all taken away.”
Kina knew that any sympathy she had garnered from him had vanished the moment he mentioned football. “What do you want from me, E'Bell? I can't apologize for having our son.”
“What about for trapping me? Can you apologize for that? You knew I was gon' make it big one day, so you made sure that you had your little insurance policy on my money.”
“That's not true!” she protested. “Kenny was never my meal ticket. I had plans to go to college, too, you know. I had to realize maybe that wasn't God's plan for me, just like football might not have been His plan for you.”
“There you go, Kina, always putting God in it when you want to worm your way out of something. People in the streets said you got pregnant on purpose. Even my mama told me that. Well, you still want half of what I got, Kina? Fine. Do the math and figure out what's half of nothing, 'cause that's all I got now.”
“You've got me,” she replied meekly, “and you've got our son.”
He looked at her and sucked his teeth. “Like I said, I ain't got nothing.”

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